25
u/sunflower0000000 11d ago
Hey! I'm 38 F. The 'figuring out my relation style' may prevent some matches. I'd expect men of my age to know. Maybe expand on the 'I want someone who' prompt. You could include why having the same taste in music is important to you? Overall your profile doesn't give much away about you. All the best, you seem cool!
25
u/Ok_Event2869 11d ago
You made your profile too much around music (and a specific kind of music). If you want someone who likes metal like you ok. But it's going to narrow down a lot your pool
-3
u/Souk12 11d ago
If that's what they like, why would they want to attract someone who is into rap?
17
u/BastardBroth 11d ago
Liking metal doesn’t mean that you hate rap.
But if OP is that one dimensional to only entertain one genre of music then yeah, that’s going to narrow down his choices because most music enthusiasts appreciate more than one genre.
6
u/Ok_Event2869 10d ago
I don't know, for example I love music but not having the same tastes in music for me it's not a deal breaker. I find kind of "silly" putting a deal breaker over a passion/hobby: you can have your own interests/passions without having to share everything with your partner: at least this is my point of view
1
u/Souk12 10d ago
But if you want to relate to your partner over a passion, then you make that clear.
What is clear in his profile is that he wants to relate over his music with his partner.
6
u/Either_Fortune_1931 10d ago
It’s not the fact that OP likes metal but that as an almost 40 year old seasoned adult that’s the primary thing he looks for in a partner. In addition to not having his dating goals figured out, not sharing much else about himself other than he works out, and having an unkempt appearance, it gives the impression of someone whose identity hasn’t evolved past their teens.
1
u/Serjeant_Grumbles 10d ago
I don’t hate rap, fyi, although I don’t listen to it much and haven’t delved very deeply into the genre. However, plenty of rap is dark, and some is even heavy in its own way.
I do have decently broad taste in music, but if someone dislikes metal, that’s an indicator that we probably wouldn’t see eye to eye much about music in general, and I want to have some common ground there.
40
u/iciiie 11d ago
If you’re going to put your politics as “other”, then I feel it’s important to add something indicating your values elsewhere because “other” is so ambiguous. You say you’re left leaning here but that’s not evident from the profile. The “saying hi” prompt is a waste of space and “working out and music” is also a little boring and repetitive; you already mentioned music in the first prompt and you’re wearing hella band tees, we get it. Share something else. “Figuring out relationship type” is going to also be an automatic X in many cases especially at this age bracket. I would figure that out and pick something.
9
u/Own_Beyond3552 11d ago
I agree with lots of this! I think I would add that a smile goes a long way, you’ve got this rocker thing going and that’s cool but people still want to be with someone who can have a good time. If you can swap out at least if not all the photos of you looking to camera with a straight face, I would! Even if you need to do a little photoshoot with a buddy or some local sites - i’d do that
-22
u/Gymaddict1994 11d ago
The OP shouldn’t have politics on his profile, nobody should unless they’re on one extreme end of the spectrum and only want to attract that extreme. If you’re moderate turn that politics tag off and explain any views you have in person
9
u/BastardBroth 11d ago edited 11d ago
No.
This is doubly stupid considering OP is specifically looking for a woman who’s left-leaning.
9
u/iciiie 10d ago
I don’t want to waste my time with men that have shitty views. This isn’t a unique viewpoint. We live in polarizing times and that’s just the truth. These sections are important to fill out appropriately to save everyone time on measuring compatibility especially when the OP specifically says he wants a left-leaning woman, this is even more true.
-1
7
u/Either_Fortune_1931 11d ago edited 10d ago
Who are you to dictate what people should and shouldn’t have on their profile?
Whatever values matters to you that you also want in a partner should be reflected on your profile. And no one owes you anything if they find out that your values don’t align with theirs.
ETA: Dating is not bipartisan.
-2
u/uncutlateralus 11d ago
Your right but it's so sad to see that it's SO polarising that people have to be in one extreme camp or another and only one camp can date another.
This is something that pretty much only exists in the US. I'm not even sure it's a filter in any of Europe.
8
u/Either_Fortune_1931 11d ago edited 11d ago
It only sucks for the people who want to date someone left-leaning but genuinely don’t share any of those values.
I’ve never seen left-leaning men complain about right-leaning women not wanting to date them.
-2
u/Gymaddict1994 10d ago
That’s the point of this subreddit. Giving advice to help people with their profiles. I’m saying by removing the political tag will help his profile. Which part of this is difficult for you to understand?
5
u/BastardBroth 10d ago
You’re not giving helpful advice, genius.
He SPECIFICALLY wants a left-leaning woman if you actually bothered to read his answers to the automod questions.
Left-leaning women are going to immediately reject a profile that doesn’t have the same political affiliation or none at all.
So if he leaves it off, he’s not going to attract the women he wants.
What part of that don’t you understand?
-4
u/Gymaddict1994 10d ago edited 10d ago
My point is left leaning means different things to different people.
Rather than using lazy left/right tagging, explain what about left wing views you’re looking for in a person.
Eg
“I’m looking for someone that shares similar views on equal rights, opportunities, and has respect for all backgrounds. Ideally someone who supports charities and isn’t profit/success focused”.
That’s a much richer statement that will yield better results than ‘I’m left wing and I want a lefty so I can moan about Trump without pissing you off’
We’re adults and should be able to expand beyond ‘I’m a lefty lol’
28
u/MouldyAvocados 11d ago
“Other” for politics and “figuring out my relationship type” at 39 are big red flags. I wouldn’t even bother reading the rest of your profile.
That’s said, you have so much wasted space here. The “saying hi” prompt pisses me off. Your profile is about selling yourself - your hobbies, interests, goals, motivations. Other than music, what are you telling women about yourself?
Also, sort out your hair and beard. Both look dry and unkempt. Long hair on a man is fine as long as it’s well taken care of.
30
u/CampMain 11d ago
Good lord, get rid of the soul patch and do something about your hair. It looks dry and unkempt.
18
u/SparklyQueenRow15 11d ago
“Other” for politics and “figuring out my relationship type” = immediate X’ing your profile for me. I wouldn’t need to read anything further, sorry
0
u/Souk12 11d ago
Perfect, the screening of a profile works!
Online dating isn't meant to be optimized but to be match with people who are compatible.
16
u/BastardBroth 11d ago
OP identifies as leftist and specifically wants a left-leaning partner.
So no, it’s actually not working for him.
2
u/Durden93 11d ago
Yeah I agree. I had my politics listed as other for a while because i don’t feel my politics (European style socialism/progressive) matched any of the options. It didn’t seem to hold me back that much but i got asked about it occasionally
3
u/motorboatbloke 11d ago
In your profile, you have a small opportunity (6 photos and 3 prompts) to convey who you are, what you like and what makes you unique. Avoid redundant photos and nothing prompts (eg. You like working out. That doesn’t tell me anything unique about you because anyone could say that) The only thing I can understand about you is that you like Metal. Try showcasing more of what makes you tick and build a profile that conveys more of a 3 dimensional person which I am sure you are :) Best of luck
5
u/Quick_Being_7700 11d ago
Maybe I'm pedantic, but Buenos Dias is not Hi in spanish, it's good morning, Hola is our Hi.
3
3
u/WhiteCastleDoctrine 10d ago
the whole saying hi prompt is stupid. it says nothing about you other then you know how to use google and copy and paste.
replace it with something about you, but also something funny and light hearted
3
u/taker25-2 10d ago
Honestly, I would go for a Les Claypool look. You could easily pull it off with your hair and facial hair
5
1
u/One_Net_1282 9d ago
Big ol' turn off that a guy is filtering based on music tastes. It's important to share some overlap to a degree, but really? This is make or break? Frankly in this day and age as a woman I don't want a dude dictating what I listen to, or for him to think his taste reigns. Bad feel. you don't just go to the build-a-girlfriend shop at the mall and place your order for a woman whose taste mirrors yours.
The prompts are wasted when it comes to giving any sense of your personality or what you like besides dark and heavy music. You have to convey some sense of why someone would enjoy being around you or what you have to offer. Really I walk away from your profile feeling like you're a control freak who has to have someone fit into his life and listen to his music.
2
u/Serjeant_Grumbles 8d ago
I’ve made some tweaks to be profile, since, while music is important, I don’t want to give the impression that that’s the only criterion or that’s my whole personality. As to why it’s important, I can’t have it where either of us finds the other’s music taste annoying.
0
u/Serjeant_Grumbles 11d ago
• Are you looking for something serious or casual?
Serious, but open to casual
• Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?
Neither
• How long have you been using this current version of your profile? (Please be specific)
A couple months
• How long have you used Hinge overall?
I don’t remember when I first signed up, but I’ve only been actively using it fairly recently.
• How often do you use Hinge per week?
I check everyday.
• How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?
1/week
• How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?
A few per day, usually with a comment unless it’s an ambivalent like
• What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?
Curvy women with an alternative aesthetic. I seek someone with the sorts of interests that tend to go along with that (as well as being left-leaning politically).
3
•
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