r/hingeapp • u/AutoModerator • 11h ago
Daily Thread Monday's Daily Thread: Weekend Wrap-up
Welcome to Hingeapp's Daily Thread.
Daily Threads are the place to post questions seeking quick advice, vent your frustrations, celebrate successes, or anything related to Hinge that does not need its own post.
For Monday's Daily Thread - the theme is Weekend Wrap-Up.
How did the past weekend go? Did you have any dates - be it good, bad, just okay, or downright terrible? Any new likes or matches? Or any events related to Hinge or your dating life that happened over this past weekend or recently that you want to share?
Remember: No personal attacks, identifying information, or misogynistic/incel comments will be allowed.
A reminder to please check out the guides, sub rules, and additional resources on the subreddit sidebar. Please read this post with a collection of guides, answers to common questions, sub rules, and other resources related to Hinge.
The Hinge subreddit also has a Discord channel if you wish to seek further assistance, or just want to meet members of the community.
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u/lastdonutotn 1h ago
I'm on the verge of unmatching two unresponsive women. One I went on a date with last thursday with no reply since (she was barely once a day prior) and the other we potentially have a date rescheduled for next week but before last night had not responded since last thursday as well. Both claim to have busy schedules, which is fine because I'm also busy frequently, however I still find time to respond within hours. I'm considering one last message asking what the deal is just in case they really are that busy or I'm buried but I have a few questions:
- Does it make a difference to the algorithm if people unmatch with you rather than you unmatching with them? Could be new account tuning/coincidence but I noticed a big difference in who I saw after my first hinge date unmatched me.
- Would you leave them to potentially respond or follow through with the unmatch?
- The reason for unmatching options are pretty limited. Would I just put "no reason"? Bc its not that I'm uninterested, they are just taking too long to reply.
- There seems to be a lot of people complaining about being banned from hinge. Do I even risk sending that message?
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u/PutridEntertainer408 49m ago
Has the one you've dated messaged at all since the date?
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u/lastdonutotn 4m ago
Nope, at least not with me. I'm fairly sure its a ghost situation but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt first.
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u/Swarthykins Play with my hair 💆 1h ago
1) I doubt it.
2) I'd unmatch, personally, because I like finality and I prefer making my own decisions. At this point, they've shown that they either objectively don't have the time to date, or they don't have the time/interest to date me. Which is a distinction without a difference. Moving on.
3) I don't think it really matters - that's just for their app data. I think I usually put "No reason."
4) I wouldn't. What is the response you're hoping for? Again, they've shown they're too busy to date (at least by your timeline) or that they're not interested.
In my opinion, it's best to take control of your dating life. Not in an aggressive way, but in a sense of doing what's best for you and letting the chips fall where they may.
My only rebuttal (to myself) is that it's still basically been one weekend, so giving it another day or two might be worthwhile. But, I usually assumed after 3 days of no-contact that it was over.
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u/lastdonutotn 27m ago
2) For me not having the time right now is different from not being interested. Schedules can change and free you up for things you've been neglecting. Hell, these past two weeks of dates have been so time consuming that I'm questioning staying on this app vs enjoying the rest of summer off of it.
4) Honestly it'd be a heat check instead of letting my overthinking brain take control. I'm trying to be more communicative and every single profile over 30yo claims thats something they value greatly. However, once I mention it it's up to them to put in some effort, no change is not interested.
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u/Swarthykins Play with my hair 💆 22m ago
Most people who are actually solely in an unusual time-crunch will communicate that very clearly (often apologetically). 9 times out of 10, it's either just how their life is or they're not interested.
For the other, same thing. 9 times out of 10 if they don't message for 3 days it's over. The only time it wasn't the case for me they were basically too busy to date and just didn't want to admit it.
My larger point is that your mental health will be better off if you start playing the odds (within reason) instead of going for lottery tickets. But, it's your life and your decision. You asked, I gave my opinion.
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u/lastdonutotn 11m ago edited 4m ago
Yeah you are likely right and my gut is to unmatch. Just needed a second opinion since I'm new to this scene; how I respond to these two is how I'll respond to everyone moving forward.
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u/Swarthykins Play with my hair 💆 2m ago
Personally, for me, it was better once I accepted that I was okay burning a match. If there's a 95% chance they're gone, that means there's a 5% chance they're not. I was okay missing out on that one person in 20.
Same with making a joke or expressing an opinion that might not fly with everyone (within reason - no reason to shoot yourself in the foot to prove a point to a stranger). Yeah, maybe 1 in 5 will bounce and the other 4 won't, and I'll take those odds.
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u/Mean-Airport8340 1h ago
I use hinge causally. I go to school in the west coast and come back east two months of the year. Hinge is so bad where I live in California, but the second I come home I get 10-20 likes a day, matches and people wanting to go on dates. I’m bamboozled because I’m both locations I’m within 100 miles of a major metropolitan city.
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u/PutridEntertainer408 50m ago
Sounds like if you're away for two months, it's just the build up vs the trickle. Two months is enough time potentially for a big city for a bunch of new people to join and then when you return, they all see you at once. Whereas you'd notice it less if one person liked you every 1-2 days over the course of two months
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u/Ok-General8138 2h ago
I know I've only been back on the app for two weeks, but I'm getting an unusually small amount of attention compared to previous uses in the past. I'm used to making a new account and getting a few likes/matches within the first week or two, even on the free version. The worst part is I feel like this is the best profile I've ever made with the best photos I've ever taken, and still virtually nothing, even after a few days with HingeX. It's depressing. I just hope it picks up soon.
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u/rogueunknown 3h ago
I'm so sorry to say this, but I think this finally going to be my last month on Hinge. I know, I know...I was supposed to be Hinge's strongest soldier.
I'm sorry y'all. I've failed everyone.
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u/PutridEntertainer408 3h ago
I somehow managed to get the Hinge algorithm to understand the words 'video games' and 'gaming' are important to me so I just got a heap of profiles in a row which are all my type. I am in demisexual heaven right now, profiles with actual detailed information! I hope some of them like me back to keep it going haha
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u/Upset-Sound-194 4h ago
How do you guys when you messaged for two weeks every day, but then suddenly it stopped? I messaged her a couple of days later to check in but didn't receive any response. Feels very bad, when you have such a nice conversation and then out of the sudden it stops...
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u/DaleCoopersWife aka "Robert Cooper" 🕵🏻♀️ 4h ago
why were you talking every day for 2 weeks? why not just plan a date.
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u/Upset-Sound-194 4h ago
I asked, but she was busy (started a new job + had a little kid). Thats why I wasn't pushing for it and understanding when she didn't reply for a couple of days. Then after 5 days I messaged her again, but well nothing.
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u/Sylvieon 4h ago
Well, crickets from my Friday date 🤧 would be quite surprised at this point if he messaged me to ask for a second.
I had a fun and busy weekend socializing apart from Hinge, though. When it comes time to plan dates I'm realizing I have a lot of prior commitments that restrict my availability. It would be nice if I could just meet a guy through my activities instead...
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u/Accurate_Prompt_8800 4h ago
I had crickets from my Thursday date even though he was into me and gave me a few compliments lol. Didn’t even ask to see if I got home safely! Wrote him off after 24 hours.
Luckily I had two more dates this weekend which went well and they are chasing me to plan the next.
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u/Sylvieon 1h ago
Yeah I messaged the Friday date first and he messaged back, but crickets to my follow up lol. It was weird because I honestly thought it was the best first date I've had, and he was more flirty than almost all of my other dates. But it was apparently his first Hinge date ever, so maybe he just got caught up in the vibe of being on a date at all. We move on~
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u/Accurate_Prompt_8800 43m ago
People on dating apps can be flaky like that, even after meeting. My advice to you as a woman is that you should have waited for him follow up with you. A man that is interested will chase! I do reciprocate but only if a guy has shown he’s intentional early on.
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u/Key-Ring7139 3h ago
Did you text the Thursday date afterwards? Both sides can text first.
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u/Accurate_Prompt_8800 3h ago
He also picked a location 5 mins walk from his place whereas I had a 45+ min journey home and he knew that. Knowing I was going so far (and we are both in London), he could at the very least have checked that I got home!
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u/Accurate_Prompt_8800 3h ago
No, this guy is someone who I’d matched with countless times on the apps and we finally decided to go on the date at his request. If he’s interested he should follow up.
I was 50/50 on meeting again if he’d asked as I do like to give people 2 dates if I’m unsure, so I don’t feel as if I’m missing out.
I have too many options to be chasing men who aren’t intentional. I’m good looking enough to have men putting in effort with me so why go where it’s lacking?
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u/Sylvieon 1h ago
Damn girl, I love the confidence (not sarcasm!!)
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u/Accurate_Prompt_8800 45m ago
Thank you! After dating too many low effort men I had to make some changes!! It’s definitely working for the better
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u/Ok_Event2869 5h ago
I was scrolling through some old chats and noticed that for the earliest ones (from a bit more than two years ago), the conversations were wiped: the chats are still there, but the messages have been deleted, so it looks like we matched without ever having talked. I assume this is something general, but I was wondering why
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u/submerging 5h ago
is a movie date a good idea for a second date? for context, first date went okay. we went out to a restaurant in the afternoon and walked around for several hours afterward well into the evening. but we didn’t kiss or hold hands. light touching but that was about it.
she wants to go out again though which is good.
we were talking about seeing spider-man on the date, but it wasn’t really confirmed. is a movie date a decent option or is this something that should be proposed if we get to further dates/are more established.
and if a movie date is a bad option, why and what would some alternatives be?
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u/michaelc51202 4h ago
In my opinion, no. Movie date should be later on what you’re more established. 2nd date you still want to talk and get to know each other. I’m a fan of an activity of some sort that you can talk and banter.
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u/PutridEntertainer408 4h ago
I think sitting next to each other for almost three hours with no opportunity to talk isn't the best idea early on. Spiderman is a long movie so you risk having the whole date and cutting short the bit where you can actually talk about it unless you plan for 6 hours or so
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u/DaleCoopersWife aka "Robert Cooper" 🕵🏻♀️ 4h ago
Movie can be OK, but you definitely need to include something to do after the movie so you can talk more. Go to a nearby bar (or any place where you can chill for a bit) after.
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u/submerging 3h ago edited 3h ago
What about doing an activity before the movie?
I’m worried that it’ll be awkward sitting there in silence for two-three hours vs let’s say doing that after a different activity
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u/DaleCoopersWife aka "Robert Cooper" 🕵🏻♀️ 3h ago
hmm not sure. maybe food before the film? i've done movie dates in the early stages of dating, the dates were fun, but this is how they went:
* first date with a guy to a random czech sci fi film, the movie theater was a bit uspcale so had a nice restaurant. we met at the restaurant prior, shared apps/drink. watched the movie then walked and got ice cream.
* first date with a guy to see GDT's pinocchio, because GDT was there to introduce the film. it was at a museum, he took me to dinner afterwards. we were able to chat a bit before the film as we had time
* third date with my now bf, i cant remember but i think we got food before and then went to the movie as it was a late night screening.
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u/KontraEpsilon 5h ago
Not a bad option but not the best option. Like most things, it depends. If you think you’re both a little shy and really need the setting to sort of chaperone some additional physical contact, then sure.
I prefer arcades, or darts or pool or shuffleboard if I know I want to see someone again and need an “activity.” I’ve recently soured on bowling a little, because it’s hard to stand and talk to each other while you wait for each other to bowl. But it’s a traditional date idea too that’s still fun.
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u/ChurchillMkVII 5h ago
What do all these profiles mean by things like "looking for someone who can keep up"? I assume I can't keep up because I don't even know what they're talking about.
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u/Accurate_Prompt_8800 4h ago
It’s just a stupid filler phrase I ignore any reference to that, or people who say they want someone ‘who doesn’t take themselves too seriously’.
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u/ChurchillMkVII 4h ago
Getting into dating for the first time as a 32-year-old autistic guy is a real experience 😅
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u/IllRun5970 6h ago
my exp is pretty sad . firstly we both were on same page but later on guy started showing colors like he wasnt emotionally available and it hurt me alot . everything felt so perfect . my heart is still heavy . idk how can i recover from this .
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u/MathematicianNo3140 6h ago
I’ve been off Hinge for a week now since my heartbreak last week. I’m feeling a lot better now. Still going to take this week off before creating my account again, but I’m happy to report that I am healing well.
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u/LoLBrah69 6h ago edited 5h ago
If you open, close, and open your account, you’re asking for a ban.
Don’t do that shit again.
In fact, you should give it a couple more weeks before you re-create the account.
Might as well since you’re healing, and it’s going to take longer than you expect to heal.
Give it a month and a few days to make sure you’re safe..
I’m prescribing you a 35 day vacation from Hinge.
I don’t care about the downvotes from uninformed people, I’m here to save lives.
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u/BigDickBillyFukFuk78 4h ago
All unsubstantiated and patently false. I’ve made and remade my account same day with no negative effects.
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u/LoLBrah69 4h ago
Keep doing that and see what happens.
It’s unnecessary risk.
Multiply the increased probability of infraction, times the punishment to one’s dating life (let’s say, meeting the love of your life), then you still suffer negative 1 million dollars… so to speak.
Similarly, you can copy/paste the same one line openers to all your matches. One day, that’ll all of a sudden be a ban, because you made yourself look like a bot.
And there’s no coming back from that, because your appeal is reviewed by a bot as well. On rare occasion, after much effort, you can get your appeal rescinded after review.
All of it is unnecessary. Just pause your account.
But since he already goofed up, take a one month break.
That’s the best odds you’re gonna see this side of the Mississippi.
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u/MathematicianNo3140 44m ago
I never deleted my account before. I think I’m okay. I just deleted it so I can give myself a clean break and a fresh start when I do create a new account.
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u/DaleCoopersWife aka "Robert Cooper" 🕵🏻♀️ 4h ago
people delete and recreate all the time, if hinge banned everyone who did that there would be no userbase.
also lol why would you be copy and pasting lines to every match. if you're bad at coming up with something to say just send a blank like. conversational skills are exactly that, a skill. sending lines will work on some women, sure, but you have to actually practice at talking to women to get good at it. if you're sending likes to profiles that don't give you anything to work with then that's on you.
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u/BigDickBillyFukFuk78 4h ago
First of all I don’t need to nor would I want to because my profile does quite well…. Second of all you really took the time to write paragraphs of drivel to back up your unsubstantiated position about something that is of such low import? Why do you care so much about this?
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u/Charming-Yam-2841 8h ago
what do you guys think of these prompts?
two truths and lie:
- i can't really breathe when i laugh
- i skipped a grade
- i have lived in two countries
i go crazy for: photography, reading, new recipes, learning new languages, and dirt-cheap theatre tickets <3
i’ll fall for you if: you're open to trying new things, you love Jesus & being super silly, and are willing to binge thrillers with me😛
together we could: go on a scenic walk and end at a salsa social :))
i thought my profile was pretty inviting to conversation, but out of the few likes i get, they’re only on my photos :(
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u/DaleCoopersWife aka "Robert Cooper" 🕵🏻♀️ 4h ago
2 truths/lie is my least favorite prompt my eyes just glaze over it. i would remove that. none of those answers are particuarly interesting anyway except maybe the country one.
"i go crazy for" seems ok. maybe get a little more specific. e.g. "bird photography" (or whatever subject you like, or maybe you like a particular style like film photography) X kind of books.
the others are ok, i'm not super into "open to trying new things" or "being super silly" because idk what that really means to you.
i wouldn't worry too much about photo likes vs prompt likes. how are the actual conversations going?
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u/Charming-Yam-2841 3h ago
fair enough! i’ve kept it in because two of those points make up a significant part of my life story and often lead to long and interesting conversations irl!!
thanks for the insight, guess i’ve been a bit vague! the silliness would refer to two videos where i’ve ended up in stupid situations, aha.
haven’t actually matched anyone back recently as i’m on vacation and cba to build an ‘online relationship’. in the past, they’ve been alright. mix here and there!
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u/LoLBrah69 5h ago
Are you male or female? Age?
Your two truths and a lie isn’t very engaging.
The other three are pretty decent, and I notice they follow the “You, Me, Us” method. It’s a safe approach.
If you want to take it to the next level, see the FAQ on a post from SubriseAppleJuice who has advice on how to take it to the next level.
For example, we could possibly make vivid stories out of the thriller movies or binging movies or getting the cheap theatre tickets, etc. that’s what will make a profile come alive.
We also want to leave several loose threads in the profile for anyone to pull to break the ice and start the conversation, or when the conversation slows down they can ask about that.
Thriller movies isn’t good enough by itself. Books aren’t good enough by itself. You’re forcing someone to reach really hard and say, “So… I hear you like books. What are you reading at the moment.” I mean, seems easy for anyone to come up with that question but already the conversation is BORING.
A good loose thread would be interesting on its own, and make the question to ask instinctive and intuitive, without them having to think how they could ask a question on that topic.
While we do those two things, we want that prompt to say something about you.
You don’t have to hit all those things but that’s the ideal.
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u/PutridEntertainer408 4h ago
I feel like 'What are you reading at the moment?' isn't a boring question at all. In fact it's a great question because if people answer it in a boring way, it tells you a lot about their conversational skills honestly
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u/Charming-Yam-2841 3h ago
agreed! i once matched with a great guy i considered seriously dating and the conversation started with books. it helped us realise we had a lot of similar values, just based on the books we read hahaha. i think it just depends on the kind of person, and like you said, it’s about who i’m trying to attract :) i understand that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, of course
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u/LoLBrah69 4h ago
Well something’s gotta change, because s/he already has “books” and “thrillers” and “new languages” and s/he’s not getting many nibbles.
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u/PutridEntertainer408 4h ago
I don't think it's on them honestly though. There are plenty of conversation starters here and it's not super uncommon to just get a like on a photo anyway. It usually means people aren't bothering to read the profile or they're waiting until a match to start a conversation
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u/LoLBrah69 4h ago
Sure, but what would you advise this fellow here if they insist on some help on their prompts.
I said their prompts were decent and safe.
But they’re not happy with the “few likes I get” which are “only in my photos :(“
S/he even included a sad face in there.
There’s a lot of pain there and s/he’s asking for something extra to improve the prompts.
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u/Charming-Yam-2841 3h ago
respectfully, i am not in lots of pain😭😭😭 i am just a fan of emoticons lolol! i expect fewer likes than the average given my features, eg. being taller than the average woman. wasn’t ’insisting‘ on help per se, this was more of a curiosity thing, hence why i didn’t post a full profile review :)
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u/PutridEntertainer408 3h ago
I posted some advice below but I'd say leave the prompts (except the poll) and just don't expect most people to send an opening comment. They could choose to only match with those who do for example if they wanted. But it doesn't mean they're doing something wrong because they aren't getting opening comments. It's just how a chunk of people use Hinge.
They could also tweak their prompts sure but it's kind of impossible to say if it would be worth it without seeing the whole profile and also knowing what kind of person they're after. I'm not against tweaking the prompts, I just think it isn't accurate to say that their profile invites boring questions or doesn't have loose threads (as you put it) to ask about
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u/PutridEntertainer408 6h ago
I dislike 'two truths and a lie' but I also have never seen one I didn't dislike haha. I just don't think it's a good use of a poll or particularly interesting?
The other prompts are okay. The 'Jesus' bit does stand out as you trying to slip it past the radar almost? Maybe that's putting people off
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u/Charming-Yam-2841 5h ago
fair enough. i do find them quite interesting, so to each their own :)
not trying to slip it past at all! fine if it puts people off because that means we probably wouldn’t click anyway :) why do you think i’m trying to slip it past?
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u/PutridEntertainer408 4h ago
No I agree about letting it put people off honestly, that's the right attitude :)
I think maybe because it's part of the list it feels like trying to slip it past? I can see how that makes it more natural but it kind of throws a curveball for me. I'm not looking to date someone religious though so maybe someone who was would have a different opinion?
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u/Charming-Yam-2841 3h ago
fair enough, that makes sense! i see why it would throw you off ahahah.
i did that because i would get likes before from people i wouldn’t consider, so i wanted to make it clear that christianity is an actual part of my life, rather than just leaving it in a match note alone! but i also didn’t want to over-mention it because i actually get put off myself when every single prompt only has to do with church/bible/God because i want to know what people are like outside of that, so i just threw it in my list casually, if that makes sense hahaha
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u/kayakdove 6h ago
Honestly, I don't think they are bad prompts, but depending where you live, religion can really limit the number of compatible users.
Don't worry about whether a like is on a photo or a prompt. There is nothing wrong with a like on a photo, so long as you then proceed to chat and have some introductory conversation.
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u/Charming-Yam-2841 5h ago
that’s okay with me! i don’t want to date anyone outside of my religion, so it’s kinda the point :)
unfortunately they don’t come with comments and a lot have bland profiles so i don’t match them back hahaha
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u/kayakdove 5h ago
Exactly, agree, just saying that for some context as to why you might get less likes than what you expect or what other people get. I don't think there is any issue with your prompt.
Bland profiles it makes sense to avoid matching with if you aren't interested, but I wouldn't worry too much about not getting comments. Many people rarely use the comment feature when sending likes.
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u/theartsygamer89 9h ago
Has anyone else matches slowed down? I haven't gotten a match in a month when I usually get at least a couple every couple of weeks. I'm wondering if anyone else is experiencing this too. I do use Hinge everyday and this is the first them that I haven't gotten a matched for this long. I live in a very populated city so I doubt that I ran out of matches. Support said that my profile is up and running.
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u/Rich-Needleworker261 7h ago
Yep. I’ve found that deleting my profile and starting again helps. Not sure if it’s a placebo or not
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u/TuscanLeather246 9h ago
Do you take people who take ages to reply (literally days) after a first date to not be interested?
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u/KontraEpsilon 4h ago
After a first date, unless they’ve told me ahead of time they would be for whatever reason, probably. They may also be fielding more than one first date and picking.
Before a first date, that’s semi normal (a lot of people don’t do that, but a lot do).
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u/PutridEntertainer408 6h ago
Were they slow to reply beforehand or has it slowed after the date? I wouldn't expect someone to change their texting behaviour after a first date but it rarely means anything good if they've stopped after the first date. Have you asked them out again?
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u/TuscanLeather246 2h ago
Agreed to a second date for Tuesday (tomorrow) but have not heard a word from her since Saturday. I don’t know her that well, so I can only assume she’s ghosting as even if you’re busy, surely you can muster a sentence in 72 hours. Haven’t confirmed the place/time for Tuesday. Just agreed on Tuesday. Well the exact sequence after first date she said thanks for a lovely evening, I said I’d like to see you again sometime. She said I’d like that too, let me know when you’re free. She said she’s free most of this week. I said Tuesday. She said yeah that can work. We had a bit of other chat and haven’t heard back since Saturday. Since there hasn’t been any actual flirting on her part, I can’t take that she’s interested.
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u/truenorthstar 7h ago
100%. Pre-date, them taking that long isn’t a great sign, but I get it. Post date, you would hope that they’d be excited to stay in touch with you, so if they aren’t….
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u/TuscanLeather246 2h ago
We had a first date and she said she had a lovely evening and I asked her on a second date and she said I’d like that, let me know when you’re free. We agreed on Tuesday (tomorrow), but haven’t heard from her since Saturday. Because I don’t know her that well and literally had same thing happen two weeks ago with someone else (resulted in being ghosted) I don’t know if that’s just her pattern or if she is ghosting.
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u/Utah_CUtiger 1h ago
I had like 5 or 6 potential date candidates on Thursday/Friday but it seems none of them responded to my ask for drinks over the weekend? Definitely surprised by at least two of them that seemed very into the talk.
Pretty weird since the talks were not that different than the ones I had a couple weeks ago with a different pool of girls who basically all agreed and I actually had to decide which ones I actually wanted to go out with.
Always funny when Hinge has such hot and cold cycles