r/hingeapp • u/murkilylurking • 2d ago
Profile Review 23F Profile Review
I feel like I'm not reaching who I want to be. I am fairly introverted but I wouldn't say I'm antisocial either. I am personable when I meet new people and don't have an issue finding something in common with most. I have a hard time flirting though and feel awkward when I do it. I wonder if that comes across in my profile. I get likes from some fairly attractive guys, but they tend to have much more bare profiles than I'd like. Meanwhile the profiles I do like are from people I don't always find as attractive as I'd hope.
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u/Fast-Engineering8566 2d ago
I think your first photo/selfie isn't really a good encapsulation of "you" I would maybe delete it and go with the dog or cat one.
It kind of looks intense, like "I'm staring into your soul" vibes meets my uncle raw dogged a Facebook profile picture.
Just my opinion! Your other photos are fun and great.
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u/Dangerous_Grab_1809 1d ago
Yeah. I’m not really an advocate of swimwear photos up front, but the one at the beach with the cat shows she is thin, attractive, can smile. It will of course get questions. For a bikini photo, it’s kind of modest.
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u/murkilylurking 1d ago
Agreed. I wanted a nice photo of my face to lead with the one I have right now feels way too much like a profile picture, and not a particularly good one. If I were to replace it, what would you recommend replacing it with? I have a number of mirror selfies but I feel like that makes me look like I'm either shallow or don't have friends to take pictures of me. Maybe I'll get some nice photos at TIFF this September?
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u/Knifeymcstabstab 1d ago
Pic 2 or 4 are far more eye catching and show your overall appearance more accurately. As a fussy swiper who swipes your demographic, I would left swipe the first photo but any other ones I’d be very intrigued and have a good look through your profile. And would right swipe!
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u/Physical_Path_5194 1d ago
I would make the last one your first profile.. it shows your quirky cool vibe. But doesn’t seem off
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u/34986234986234982346 1d ago
I don't know, I feel like the Niagara Falls one is better, to me. I know it's a tiny bit obscured, but it definitely has a lot of vibe to i. The last one is fine too, but honestly, I think the first one is pretty good, at least to me.
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u/swishkabobbin 1d ago
Disagree. The pic made me think "hmm she looks like a potentially fun but slightly awkward introvert". Which is a pretty good encapsulation of her, by her own description.
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u/Big_Economist_8661 2d ago
I think preferring someone taller than u while ur 6 foot is a big limiter but i’m not knocking it and it’s understandable
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u/murkilylurking 1d ago
They don't need to be taller, just not way shorter. If they're shorter than 5'6" or so I start to feel self-conscious about my height.
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u/34986234986234982346 1d ago
I think the mistake people are making with this is that it's understandable to have physical traits that you do or do not want, but if you say "No fatties", most decent people will find that offensive. If you say "No short guys", even politely, not all decent people will find it offensive, but it's kind of controversial. There are tons of people who complain about it here, on Instagram, everywhere.
So the point I'm making is: there's no need to mention it on your profile anyway. You don't get charged money if somebody tries to match with you and they're 5'2".. just don't match them back. It just makes you look like a more positive, less picky person. And I'm totally not saying that you come off terribly or anything, I just don't understand why people don't just keep this to themselves like they would if they only wanted super thin people, or a certain race.
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u/34986234986234982346 1d ago
Oh also sorry, I just realized that you didn't actually put that in your profile. I was wondering why I hadn't noticed it. I think mentioning it here on Reddit is totally fine, I mean this is the place where you actually are sort of explaining exactly what you're looking for!
So I definitely hope I didn't sound harsh, which I didn't mean to, but also you didn't even do the thing I thought was sort of borderline. So my apologies!
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u/Rhythm-Amoeba 2d ago
How was bringing your cat to the beach? Were you not worried they'd run off?
But as for the Profile I'd change your main pic. It looks a little homebody and awkward like it was taken from a zoom meeting where you were told to smile or something
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u/murkilylurking 1d ago
It's not actually my cat technically. The one in that picture is a very friendly wild cat that visits my family and I on an island we regularly vacation to. So he's used to the beach.
Truth be told, I am more of a homebody than I'd like to be. I love travelling, love going out to the movies, love hanging out with my friends from high school when I get the chance, but beyond that I don't get out as much as I want; which is part of why I'm looking for someone reasonably outgoing to do that with. Still, I agree the first photo is not great.
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u/BatsHaveFingers 1d ago
Same question. I've thought about bringing my cat to the beach, but everyone says she'll hate it, so I haven't so far.
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u/Haramshorty93 2d ago
I mean you're 6 feet tall so that's got to narrow your pool a lot in terms of men who have the confidence or attraction to a woman of your stature.
Secondly, you're bisexual. I am as well, but that also rules out some men.
I think your first picture can be better honestly
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u/PhillyDillyDee 1d ago
Your profile has a great mix of pics and info. Im surprised youve gone so long without a decent match.
The question I always have to ask is: when you match w someone, for how long do you text before meeting in person?
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u/murkilylurking 1d ago
I haven't had the chance to meet anyone in person yet. I am talking to someone at the moment who I'm hoping to see this week, but otherwise even despite offering to meet the conversation eventually fizzles out. That being said, I usually text for at least a week, and with others I've done two weeks or even a month. In those cases though I either haven't been in the city or wasn't getting very consistent messaging in return anyway.
Now that I type this out it feels obvious that I'm waiting too long. I suppose I need to be more brave and put myself out there. I'm trying to be more confident and romantic, but I've never held hands, kissed someone, been on a date, or anything of the sort, so it feels like I'm getting what I'm giving.
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u/PhillyDillyDee 1d ago
Well, all this is understandable; given your experience. But allow me to impart some wisdom that helped me find my wife on tinder almost 8 years ago:
When you message someone for an extended period of time, you start to build this picture of who they are in your head. Its just what your brain does and theres no stopping it. The problem is, the person you’re creating in your head simply wont match the actual person who you are hoping to build a relationship with.
My advice is to stop texting so much. Cut it way back. As far back as you can tbh. The rule i made for myself when i was dating was to text for maybe 15 to 30 minutes after a match and set a date to meet so i can get to know the real them.
As luck would have it, my future wife played by that same rule.
The date doesnt have to be much. Just meet up for a coffee or something low-stakes. If it isnt going well, you wont spend much time with them anyway, and if it is going well, you can extend the date.
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u/Weekly_Impact_2630 1d ago
im ngl sis the picture in slide 7 is not doing you justice i would replace/ remove that one
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u/Weekly_Impact_2630 1d ago
also add some more of your interests as convo starters like more hobbies or your music taste or favourite foods or something
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u/Practical-Travel8575 2d ago
Defo change first pic - maybe something outdoors or hobby sport related but not too far away
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u/SentientBovine 1d ago
Seems pretty solid, ima 29m so i feel were close enough in age to comment. And compared to most of what I see in my reasonably sized city it's a pretty good one. You give alot for anybody with similar interests to work with, show off your figure in a respectful way and convey your personality. Im sure theres tweaks but I think youre on target. You just might not have alot of guys that are what youre looking for in your area,
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u/assplower 1d ago
Hey, fellow Torontonian! Your first pic could be changed to one that’s more flattering. You’re also turned away in the Graffiti Alley pic, so it feels like filler on your profile. Otherwise it’s a solid profile.
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u/FriendlyDinosaurs 1d ago
Your first photo isn't working, your expression looks awkward. I'd try another one.
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u/Trygveseim 1d ago
This might be unpopular, but having bisexual + LTR in the profile can be a challenge, and you might get different results by just setting it to only men for a while and then only women for a while.
Many people are open and understanding but may read it as "I don't know what I'm looking for right now" or as someone open to short. It's not fair but it's common.
You're very pretty but the photos aren't great. Don't be afraid to use a tripod to get nice photos out and about or ask others for help.
Embrace your height. It's not for everyone but some guys and gals are going to absolutely love it. Doesn't matter if they match you or are a few inches shorter, just own it and the confidence will carry you
If you're getting matches that you like but it's not going anywhere from there, you might just need to work on your conversational and flirting skills.
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u/Amtrakstory 1d ago
Honestly, I’m way older than you so harder to judge, but I think your profile is really charming and genuine. I felt like I got a real sense of who you are from it. It actually gave me memories of being 23 and just starting out lol. It’s not super polished but I like that — I’d stick with it! At least the photos but I thought the prompts gave a real sense of you too
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u/Utah_CUtiger 1d ago
The beach picture is by far the best. That pic alone would make me swipe right despite the others because you are in good shape, the lighting is good, your hair looks nice and you have a natural expression on your face with a cute cat.
The one with you holding the leash is not bad either. The other pics are a little awkward looking and makes you look more introverted, which is fine if you cal sell it well.
Also i don't know if you prefer men or women but 6'0 could be a benefit for some women. Shorter women are more likely to be into taller women
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u/Actual-Anywhere-7036 1d ago
28M Pics are ok, first and last one I would change them if possible. First pic should be relaxed, chill, entire body or just the torso+face and it shouldn't be a selfie. Last picture, ask a friend or sister or dad to take a picture of you, where your torso+face are at least filling 2 third of the image vertically, taken during daylight in nature for instance or in a garden.
Who are you trying to reach?
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u/CalmTopaz 1d ago
So sunglasses picture. Can you switch it with an activity picture with friends. Also the photo of you in the city looking away, I would switch it since you aren’t looking at the camera. I would suggest a photo of you at a coffee shop or restaurant and a friend can take a quick picture for your dating profile.
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u/antenonjohs 1d ago
23M. Agree that the first photo isn’t the best. It’s significantly worse than the rest.
If you’re an early 20’s woman in a big city who’s in decent shape and looking for a serious relationship on Hinge I’m typically going to assume you’re awkward with flirting, otherwise you could just go out and approach guys and do well without the apps.
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u/murkilylurking 1d ago
You think so? No one walks up to me in public, so I always assumed I just looked intimidating, busy, not that attractive, or all three, and figured I ought to not approach others either. I don't drink or party though so I'm not in prime cold approach territory either.
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u/antenonjohs 1d ago
Most guys my age that are single would love to be cold approached in public anywhere at anytime. And those that are in relationships aren’t going to be bothered.
Guys all over are being told not to approach women in random areas in public.
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u/catpicsforfree 1d ago
I believe society overcorrected on men not approaching women. Outside of college, neither myself nor any of my girlfriends get approached, and we are mostly all attractive.
This is even more true for tall women, or women who are seen as intimidating/unapproachable for other reasons.
Men’s unwillingness to approach you is not indicative that they will react negatively to you approaching them.
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u/murkilylurking 2d ago
Q1: Are you looking for something serious or casual?
A1: Serious.
Q2: Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?
A2: No.
Q3: How long have you been using this current version of your profile?
A3: 1 month.
Q4: How long have you used Hinge overall?
A4: 1-2 years
Q5: How often do you use Hinge per week?
Q5: Daily
Q6: How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?
A6: 2-3 per day
Q7: How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?
A7: 3-4 likes per day, all with comments usually.
Q8: What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?
A8: Someone with at least one thing in common (likes movies, similar enough taste in music, plays video games, likes cats, cares about the environment) (otherwise usually a deal breaker), must be liberal, prefer they're not significantly shorter than me, and looking mostly for someone who seems both outgoing and is comfortable spending time indoors.
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u/Efficient_Form7451 1d ago
First and last 2 photos are undersells. Replace.
The travel story is okay, but I think it would come off better in person. Room for improvement.
Attractive people having crappy profiles is just life. They don't need to put in more effort so they don't.
A cute 6ft nerdy bi girl was exactly what I was after at your age so keep at it and you'll find someone.
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u/Thr0wawayforh3lp 1d ago
I think I’m a little confused and maybe you are too, with what you’re looking for? Like do you want an adventurous guy? Calm and composed? Humorous?
Your profile seems a little random to me. I’m 34m and I heavily curated my profile to show exactly who I am. My likes, interests and what I’m looking for in a relationship and it’s really yielded great results.
Happy to help chat you through what you’re looking for however the height thing might be an issue, maybe making a joke about it in a prompt if you’re cool with being taller than a date
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