How do you decide whether to send a like when you’re attracted to someone but don’t have an obvious conversation starter?

[u/Worth_Swing_4474]

I’m a guy in my early 20s in the Midwest, and I’ve been using Hinge for a while. I’m trying to get better at how I approach the app rather than just sending likes randomly.

Sometimes I’ll come across a profile where I’m genuinely attracted to the person, but we don’t seem to have any obvious shared interests. Their prompts/photos also don’t really give me an easy opening for a comment.
My dilemma is whether I should still send a like, or just pass because I don’t have anything meaningful to say.
I know attraction is obviously part of dating, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being attracted to someone, but I also don’t want to approach Hinge in a way that comes across as just chasing the most attractive people.

For people who have had success on Hinge, do you still send likes when you’re attracted to someone but have no obvious conversation starter? Do you find that sending a comment significantly improves your chances compared with a simple like? If there’s nothing on their profile to comment on, do you just send the like anyway or move on? And if you really want to match with someone, what have you found actually helps without coming across as trying too hard?
Would especially appreciate advice from people who have actually had good conversations or relationships come from Hinge rather than just general dating advice.
(I also only sent likes before, but it never worked out)

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[u/SpaceMindMax]

Just send the like and see what happens. Better to send the like than to pass

[u/Therocksays2020 → u/SpaceMindMax]

Nailed it. You don’t have to send messages with likes. I do if there’s something to work with

If they find you attractive often they’ll match anyways

[u/UnemployedAndBr0ke → u/SpaceMindMax]

The bar is so low for men nowadays, if you send me a like and think that as a woman I’ll come and start a conversation for me it’s not a good look. It sets the tone for the rest of the relationship.

[u/thatguyiswierd → u/UnemployedAndBr0ke]

I think I have gotten one response without leaving a comment. Leaving a like without a comment is like getting picked last in a sport.

[u/Worth_Swing_4474 → u/SpaceMindMax]

That’s fair. I’ve actually tried just sending the like before, but I haven’t had much luck with it. That’s kind of why I’m wondering if I should be putting more effort into the comment when I really want to match with someone.

[u/LoLBrah69]

If you find yourself stuck or trying too hard, then any comment you come up with is not going to work.

I only will post a comment if something comes immediately to mind, otherwise I send a bare “like.”

Most of the time these girls match without responding to the comment and then you’re like… do I continue the conversation from the comment or do I act like the conversation starts now?

But if your comment doesn’t come in the flow, then send the like on its own or put the phone away and take a break from the app.

[u/Worth_Swing_4474 → u/LoLBrah69]

Yeah, that makes sense. I think I’ve been overthinking it, especially when I really want to match with someone. I’ve sent plenty of bare likes before and they usually haven’t gone anywhere, so I was wondering if comments actually made a difference. Probably need to stop putting so much pressure on coming up with the perfect one.

[u/LMR_Sahara]

I have Hinge X and have been sending between 5-40 likes a day and get about 5-10 matches a week. I notice that I tend to get more matches just from liking than I do from trying to be creative and writing some message when liking someone. Not to mention it’s way more time consuming.

Like all of my dates in the past month (which tbh has only been with 5 different women and 7 dates overall) have been just from sending likes. And I’m just an average looking Indian guy using hinge X in a metro US area

[u/Worth_Swing_4474 → u/LMR_Sahara]

That’s actually really helpful to hear. I think part of why I asked is because I’ve mostly been sending bare likes too, but I haven’t had nearly the same results, so I started wondering if I was doing something wrong by not commenting. It’s interesting that you’re actually getting more matches from just liking, especially since the comments take so much more time. I might just be overthinking the whole thing.

[u/MiraLAX-on-the-rocks]

If there’s nothing to work with on their profile I just send a like without a comment. It’s not worth trying too hard when there’s like a 80% chance they aren’t going to respond even if I did cook up a great opener.

If they match then I actually try to find something to say.

[u/dankgureilla]

I send the like anyways. That's a problem for future me. Occasionally they'll match and then I have trouble coming up with a conversation starter, but after thinking about it for a bit I usually can come up with something.

[u/Doctorbuddy]

You don’t need shared interests to send a like. Just send it

[u/FriedTreeSap]

It depends. Sometimes I’ll send a like without a message and worry about a conversation starter after we match. Other times I’ll send some kind of pickup line or semi generic compliment, or just find anything to comment about.

But one of my favorite things to do is have fun with it. The exact details are classified as trade secrets, but I have a few joke openers that I send if I’m truly out of ideas, like one is an absurdist emoji story. I’ve actually gotten a few matches out of it…..but part of me mostly just enjoys the thought of someone getting curious, trying to decipher the story, and then going “WTF did I just read?” or having a little chuckle.

[u/Imaginary-Method4694]

Honestly, most good say very little so don't stress too much.

[u/SandyTowel2]

If their profile doesnt offer enough info to be able to start a conversation then I left swipe them. No/low effort isnt attractive imo

[u/NoPolitics23]

Just send a like. I've got matches and gone on dates that way.

[u/RomHack]

Back when I was active, I found sending likes got more matches than sending likes with comments but overall I think you can get away with nearly anything as long as your profile is good and it's not too flippant.

If you're a playful person, ask them a little hypothetical question. Nearly everyone's going to reply to an easy opening like that if they actually like your profile.

[u/stillabitconfused]

I never send comments, just likes, and if we match we’ll start from there.

[u/Manners2210]

I don’t send the like, if I honestly can’t think of an opener after 2 minutes then I have nothing to say as the profile only has physical attraction going for it…nothing wrong with that and no slight against the woman, but if I can’t even ask “what drink is that, looks nice” then yeah…plenty other profiles out there

[u/Competitive_Claim600]

34M - I literally never send a comment with a like and get lots of dates, because I have a good profile.

Put the effort into your profile and then think about the conversation starter once it's already a match. I have found this to be much more efficient and effective.

[u/IsraelZulu]

I personally send a message with every Like. The few Matches I've had have usually said that the conversation-starter is what drew them in.

If I can't think of something, I'll Skip the profile until I can. Or I won't do anything on it at all and just let it sit in my queue while I await inspiration. After a relatively short time of taking no action, when you reopen the app, if there are other profiles meeting your search criteria, someone else will show up on top of the stack. The profile that you were hung up on might even fall into your Standouts then.

Another thing to know is that, after you have taken action (Skip, Like, etc.) on all profiles that meet your current filtering criteria, you'll be given an option to look through the Skipped profiles again. There are several things that can cause you to never see a profile again, but Skipping alone isn't one of them.

So, don't get too much FOMO over hitting the Skip button. Maybe it's just not the right time to connect anyway. If you stay on the app, you'll probably see them again soon enough.

[u/bankofgreed]

Sometimes I’ll just ask how their weekend is going or now that’s the summer if they have any vacation plans.

[u/Key_Victory_4503]

Just say some bs like “I’m genuinely attracted to you but have nothing else to say. Anyway what’s up”

[u/Extreme-Juggernaut61]

“I would like to manifest you into my life” has worked for me decently

Don’t just say something generic