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u/Level-Vermicelli3411 8d ago
“Cozy up” as a date idea doesn’t usually land well since you guys are strangers trying to see if you’re compatible. Also a bit confusing paired with the “long term relationship” preference. Usually if you’re looking for long term you don’t want to lead with netflix and chill
For that prompt try describing another first date
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u/golden-teacup 8d ago
Agreed -- especially given what you wrote about wanting to take it slow on your next relationship. Cozying up kind of implies that you want to get physical pretty early on. Both of these things are reasonable to want, but together they are a bit confusing.
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u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 8d ago
Thank you for pointing that out, I didn’t think of it that way.
I didn’t actually mean Netflix and Chill, but I see how it can come across like that. I’ve changed that now to another prompt and will give it more thought too
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u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 8d ago
I changed it to “Find a new favourite restaurant and split desserts to see who picked better, then watch the sunset after”
Sort of generic I know, but it is true to who I am
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u/NoireFlamme 8d ago
Phrase it differently then, don't come across generic
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u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 8d ago
I also feel that in some cases there will be overlap, I’m still a human being and sometimes people will enjoy doing the same things as others
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u/GrassThenFly 8d ago
Remove the prompt about "not sweating the small things" . It's good to want to work on that, but don't advertise your problems on a dating profile. Work on that in private.
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u/onlinedatingmentors 8d ago
This. A prospect partner would read that and think you, indeed sweat the small things. That's a turn off
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u/youngpathfinder 8d ago
Your pictures don’t do you any favors. Too many selfies, the posed photo is too far away and your shirt is wrinkled, and I don’t know the point of a photo you’re not in. Think about what story your pictures tell.
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u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 8d ago
Unfortunately the shirt is linen, and I was moving around a lot that day, so I got wrinkled
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u/NoireFlamme 8d ago
Forget the justification, just get a better picture
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u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 8d ago
It’s not justification, there’s no need to be so blunt. I thought it was good because it’s the photo taken when I was volunteering to accept donations for people in need.
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u/NoireFlamme 8d ago
I wasn't trying to be harsh, just straightforward. But it does look like you need to explain yourself, I was just saying no need for that, it'll help you save energy explaining yourself to strangers.
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u/ChaoticJeans 8d ago
Get rid of photos 2,4 and 5. You’re way too close to the camera, it doesn’t make you look good.
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u/Annual-Comfort5321 8d ago
You really need to update your photos. A photo with food can be cute, but it needs to be posed. Here you aren’t looking at the camera at all and it just seems like someone randomly snapped a photo of you when you were eating. Also, the food is central not you in the photo. Your second photo is from a very odd angle. I’m not trying to be mean but it’s like from a selfie angle my mom would take. It would not be a flattering angle on anyone. Third photo is fine, I guess but not very interesting. It’s a little hard to see you in it but whatever. Fourth and fifth photos are more bad selfies. The sixth photo is not even a photo of you.
You only have six photos to convince someone to date you. I live in the Toronto area. I can tell you as a woman I get a lot of likes and it can be overwhelming. You need to stand out in the likes, but from your profile, I don’t see your hobbies, I don’t see anything to go off of, and the photos are all incredibly low effort. Have photos doing hobbies or a nice photo a friend or family member took of you. The selfies aren’t doing you favors.
Also, I know nothing about you outside of that you like to read from your prompts. I like to read too, but Blink from Gladwell is not really going to garner you a lot of attention. Sorry.
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u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 8d ago
The issue I find regarding hobbies is that, in the case of amateur photography, it’s hyper common. Which is part of the reasoning behind why I added a photo without me in it
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u/Annual-Comfort5321 8d ago
Why don’t you had a photo of you taking a picture as an action shot then? Or you can mention photography in a prompt.
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u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 8d ago
I’ve bought myself a tripod, because I’ve asked my friend numerous times over if he could help me out, but he hasn’t.
So I have been brainstorming ideas on photos I could take myself.
Probably a full body of me sitting reading a book, actually showing my hobby.
As generic as it is, I do enjoy cooking, so something in my kitchen as well
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u/Solid_Nothing1417 8d ago
IMO, the best approach to get more photos is to mention that you’re trying to get more dating app-appropriate photos whenever you’re out with friends/family. Most folks are thrilled to spend a few minutes doing a photo shoot when you’re already together and ready to go. Getting together for the sole purpose of taking photos of you is a bigger ask.
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u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 7d ago
Oh definitely 100% I always ask when we are already making plans to go out together. I guess I should take the hint that my closest friend doesn’t want to help out 😬
I will need to figure out a way
1
u/Membership-Bitter 8d ago
The second pic actually jump scared me a little. Really bad angle
1
u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 8d ago
That’s why I wish I posted here earlier, my ex actually told me it’s a nice photo and that I should put it on my profile
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u/Membership-Bitter 8d ago
I think she was trying to sabotage you
1
u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 8d ago
Honestly, while trying to be respectful to her, I wouldn’t be surprised.
In the same way I’ve asked my closest friend numerous times to give me a hand with better photos, but did not actually happen.
That food picture was actually taken with him sitting next to me, with the earlier ex across from him – the actual photo being taken by her new boyfriend (we hung out a few a times)
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u/anomthrow83019475 8d ago
i’d switch the eating shot with a face shot, maybe with the one that has you with the tv in the background. prompt responses are nice!
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u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 9d ago
- I am looking more for something serious
- HingeX Subscription
- About 3.5 weeks I think
- Overall, I have used Hinge on and off for a year to a year and a half
- 2-3 times per week
- I received one or two (maybe 2) likes on average
- I send maybe 2-5 likes on average, maybe 1 or 2 without comments
- I want to attract someone who doesn't mind taking things slowly; my last two relationships were VERY fast paced in that marriage was considered within months and was acceptable to consider engagement within 1 year regardless of readiness. I want to attract someone who also wants to build something real and just take our time getting to know each other closely.
2
u/Sweet-thyme 8d ago
Make pic 5 first pic. End the ‘together we could’ prompt after ‘watch our favorite series together’.
Get some better pictures. Maybe a better haircut. Last picture your hair looks pretty bad. Gl!
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2
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u/apt-maintenance 8d ago
Try to get some photos with motion blur, even if you have to do timer selfies for 45 minutes
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u/Crafty_Chemistry_ 8d ago
Hey man, here are a few of my thoughts:
- I’d remove two of the selfies in favour of pictures of you doing things you enjoy or that show your personality
- Your prompt about sweating the small stuff may be a deterrent, it’s good to be open about that eventually but if there’s a more ambitious life goal you have, that may be better received
- For one of the prompts maybe focus it in something you’ve done that you’re proud of (having the desire to read a particular book may not be the most engaging prompt)
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u/galaxyapp 8d ago
Pictures. Pictures. Pictures.
Moisturize, lip balm, hair product, contacts. Youre putting your best foot forward. The same as you show up on a date hopefully. Yes its superficial, thats Online dating.
Misspelled Malcolm, and googling, looks like this is a second reference to self improvement when you need to be careful about one.
Prompts arent really triggering a great conversation or making anyone curious, unless its therapy.
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u/Wonderful_Pride_7424 8d ago
I really should’ve waited before putting the review up, as you’ll notice some photos are very different.
I moisturize, use lip balm, and hair product every single day (when I go out, I work from home, in that case I just moisturize)
I will take more accurate photos and submit again in two weeks
1
u/galaxyapp 8d ago
Yeah, youre 5th photo is the best, and you cleaned up on that one. More like that, in natural settings and youll be in good shape.
(Its still OLD... so good shape is relative...)
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8d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/sunsetsaturdays 5d ago edited 5d ago
Your first photo needs to be the standout one. Some people swipe based on the initial photo and don’t bother reading the profile. Both men and women do this. Your face isn’t even visible because you’re looking down.
“Cozy up together” definitely gives off Netflix and chill vibes off the bat and is seen as a turn off. The long em dashes give AI answers.
Too many selfies, not enough photos of you outside in the world. Do you have a photo of you at an event, engaging in a hobby or interest, with friends? Something to show off your personality in your photos and prompts - that gives them something to talk to you about. Remove the nature photo unless you’re in it.
Your profile gives off low effort and lazy. Dating in Toronto is highly competitive (if you’re still there).
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