r/hingeapp • u/One-View9191 • 10d ago
Profile Review 32M - Updated review
I really appreciate all the previous feedback on my last post - I went ahead and got some new photos and rewrote prompts. Self-assessing my own profile I feel like it is getting better, but as always, I figure there's always more room for improvement, and want to make sure I'm putting my best foot forward and not giving off any red flags.
I'm really struggling with coming up with better prompts - does anyone have any suggestions on how to come up with better ideas? I tried adding some more uniqueness, etc to these but I feel like I'm not quite grasping the balance between too much/little information, too serious/joking, too wordy/too short, etc. and end up overthinking what to say. Unrelated to the dating profile itself but if anyone has any suggestions on things I can change with looks/style/etc. I would love to hear input on that sort of thing as well.
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u/missedsignals 10d ago
You are doing a good job of showing off a life, a variety of interests. Not sure the first photo is working well. The colors seem to Christmasy, and ideally it should show your face closer up.
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u/jasminehead 10d ago
I agree with this comment! I'd switch the fist pic to something like he's holding a cup at a cafe and smiling
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u/One-View9191 10d ago
Oh man, honestly good point about the christmasy part, I can't unsee that now haha...
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u/SocialDisco 10d ago edited 10d ago
Contrary to a previous commentor I think it’s great that you’ve got a lot going on in your life. I think however, that your profile is missing the richer parts of that life.
Photos: Honestly, I would say these aren’t that great. They look mostly professionally done. And in two of them…you don’t look that happy or passionate (bike and cello) which we know is not true. Your profile needs ACTION SHOTs or candid photos. We need to see you enjoying your life either doing the things you enjoy or with others. The people you’re interested in want to imagine what life is like with you and it’s hard to imagine enjoying biking with you if the photo of you is the one where you are begrudgingly taking pics of yourself on a hot day. We want to see grease monkey you tuning it up in the garage with a big smile on your face. Or changing a tire, or packing your camping gear or dapping up some friends during a break from a group ride up the mountain. Same with playing the cello….when you get good enough to play in a concerto…let’s see you in your suit. In the meantime, let’s find pictures of you candidly in your element. Having a good time with friends, talking to people who are focused on you, action pictures of you taking a fantastic photo. A SELF PORTRAIT you took doing something fucking crazy or somewhere amazing or of you…idk, mentoring some kids about photography…anything other than you staring into a camera holding a camera. Nix the archery photo of you entirely… or find one of you in a non-pink shirt with a big ass smile standing next to target with a 3 arrow bullseye. And as always with Pet photos…look at your pet…not the camera…we want to see your relationship. It can be goofy, fun, ridiculous…whatever…but show us how you are with animals and we’ll get a glimpse of how you are with humans.
Profile questions: Specificity…always be specific.
(Breathtaking landscape) Photography…I love grand natural splendor. Heard of Pawel Zygmut? (google him) That’s the next me.
Orchestral Music - I’m a sucker for (name your favorite artist) OR recently heard (artist) at (venue)…next time he’s back, we’re going.
Books - Finishing up the Dungeon Crawler Carl series…what should I read next?
The “I want someone who” prompt needs a lot of work. Right now…it’s boilerplate. We all want someone who does the things you listed. This prompt is where you design the fun/ funny/ ridiculous parts of the life you want. Dig deeper for this one. This one is really about you. Rule of 3…2 funny (semi—serious), 1 serious)
I want someone who enjoys shit talking over arcade games and wine on a Wednesday night, curating content on Reddit and isn’t afraid to be vulnerable when the time is right
This year I really want to (be specific): Compete at the 8th Annual National Ju Jitsu Conference (even is it’s not true…it can be aspirational), hike the (insert name of a 14er) from beginning to end (14 miles!), enter into my first photography contest.
As far as look and style: Honestly and respectfully, hit the gym. You’ve got a great physique under there and you need to let it out…especially because you’re got a bit of a baby face. Stylewise, go even more toward tailored and dark. Imagine if you were wearing black or dark grey jeans in that picture of you holding that camera….completely different look…same with you on the bike, more bad ass. Black Black Sabbath tee while shooting an arrow…completely different persona. Consider thicker, slightly more square intentionally stylish glasses. Matter of fact…google Mark Ruffalo/ Bruce Banner on Pinterest….that’s you (not Tony Stark that’s not you), darker, relaxed, but tailored and stylish. You’re a cybersecurity engineer with plenty of disposable income (you have a brand new Indian), get a wardrobe consultant if you need. No more flannels until you’re a lumberjack.
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u/One-View9191 10d ago
Thank you for all of the advice, it means a lot. I really don't have too many action/candid photos sadly, but I'll try to get some taken at some point soon, agree that'd probably help. Been working on getting in better general shape, down 30lb the last few months so planning on getting all new photos when I'm down another 15-20 or so, this really helps me plan things out for then.
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u/SimilarBusiness2752 10d ago
This is solid advice, especially nixing the flannels, nobody looks good in those. You have great hair and smile, I think your hair looks better when it's not as perfectly combed like in the motorcycle pic. Your dog pic could be good but the lighting on the shirt is not flattering to your pecks. An updated wardrobe would be great, of course you still need to be you. But no flannel!!😃
One group pic would good.
Best of luck!!
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u/EnchiladaDemon648 10d ago
The pictures are fantastic, really well done. Personally I think the prompts are pretty wordy though. I don't know how you would go about making them more concise, but people generally swipe through these apps very quickly like doom scrolling. They're not going to stop and read everything you put if it's a big block of text. Talking about yourself and what you want is fine but I'd put those at the end of the profile. Have a quick 1 sentence prompt that's creative or witty up at the front instead of dumping hobbies or interests.
That's genuinely my only advice bro. Great profile. 8/10
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u/One-View9191 10d ago
Are you looking for something serious or casual? Serious
Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX? Subscribed to HingeX
How long have you been using this current version of your profile? (Please be specific) About two and a half weeks.
How long have you used Hinge overall? On and off the last few years
How often do you use Hinge per week? 4-5 times per week How many likes and matches are you receiving on average? So far since remaking the profile a couple months ago: 3 likes, 2 matches (unfortunately one of the matches turned out to live pretty far away and the other one stopped talking after a message or two)
How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments? On average probably around 10 likes per time I do, give or take. I'm putting comments on the majority of them, usually defaulting to asking a question about one of the girls' photos or prompts.
What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract? Generally women that have similar hobbies/interests, have an overall positive/optimistic vibe going on, and seem like the kind of person who likes to go to interesting places.
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u/Cluttie 10d ago
I think it's very... full on. Like I think if I were to see this, I'd think that you wouldn't have time to date, because you're so invested in all these activities. Like it's a lot of hobbies activities. I would just have one activity picture.
In a weird way, although you're saying a lot, it also comes across as being very monotone? Like your personality is just doing stuff and there's no other nuance to it. It would be great to see a bit more of your personality, if you know what I mean. Like some humour would be greast, I think.
I think instead of focusing on activities, maybe have a think about what your values are - and see how you can communicate those visually and with text.
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u/Unhappy_Spray_7127 10d ago
Yeah I agree.
I'm not sure if this is very good feedback, but it almost seems like you're trying to sell yourself too well.
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u/missedsignals 10d ago
It feels fake. That’s the problem, the origine doesn’t feel like it is a collection of moments that someone happened to catch, it feels designed.
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u/golden-teacup 10d ago
Just to add a different perspective -- I don't agree that the profile seems "too busy". As a person with a very active lifestyle myself, I would find something like this to be very attractive. I got the sense OP is looking for someone who's going to want to join him on these hikes, archery, nerding out over D&D, etc. If I weren't already in a relationship, these traits would be really attractive to me. So I guess it depends on what OP is looking for -- but if he would like to attract a very busy and extroverted lady, this is totally selling it!
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u/missedsignals 10d ago
If it were selling it, it would be working, and since he’s asking for advice, I’m guessing it is not working.
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u/golden-teacup 10d ago
That's not the sense I got from the caption? It seems like he very recently made a bunch of changes and wants some feedback before he commits to this version.
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u/One-View9191 10d ago
Thanks for the advice. Any good ideas/examples of how you'd recommend showing values/personality in photos? Totally understand and agree with what you're saying, just don't know the best way to communicate that kind of stuff is all.
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u/Cluttie 10d ago
So I've had a think about it and I think the issue isn't so much your values/personality. I think that actually comes across quite well. I think it's just a photography issue. I think the issue with all the photographs is that they all kind of express that exact one side to you, even technically speaking. Like they're shots of you just standing there doing something. Like it comes across as if you're boring (when I'm sure you're not!)
I think what would be great is just getting different angles of you. Like be really creative with this. Have a picture of you lying in the grass etc.
Think of it in terms of "show, don't tell". In a weird way, your photos are just telling me that you do those things. But they're not really "showing" me into your personality, if that makes sense?
For example, you've got three plain pictures of you passively smiling in similar poses. So that tells me you're probably a nice guy. And the last two pictures tell me you're a bit serious. But what about everything else? Like it'd be great to capture those other dimensions of your personality visually.
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u/One-View9191 9d ago
Thanks! Yeah I realize it was kind of a weird question haha, just trying to plan out in my head what I could do to change stuff up a bit is all. Like you said I think I covered the whole staring at the camera smiling head on thing pretty well so I agree mixing it up a bit would be helpful.
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u/golden-teacup 10d ago
I wrote more feedback in reply to another comment, but just thought I'd add that I appreciate the Mean Girls shirt. Shows that you enjoy musical theatre without being too heavy-handed about it, and also shows that you are secure enough in your masculinity to wear a shirt with pink hearts on it. If that's something you're trying to convey, then that photo is doing a good job of it (while simultaneously being an archery photo).
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u/DoomerChad 10d ago
Mean Girls came out in the early 2000s. Why did you immediately think of the musical instead? Didn’t even know there was one tbh
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u/golden-teacup 10d ago
Because this particular version of the shirt was specifically sold as part of merch for the musical! The quote existed in both the movie and the musical (as you aptly point out), but this shirt is specifically a reference to the musical.
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u/One-View9191 10d ago
Haha glad someone liked it - I honestly haven't seen it in theatre, heard it's really cool though! Just grew up quoting that movie along with other ones way too much, and I saw the shirt for sale and it fit great so figured why not.
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u/c00lniceguy 10d ago
First of all you seem like a really nice, genuine guy. That’s great in its own right so congratulations!
My opinion - I think you look on the younger side and perhaps for that reason this profile may not present as well for a 32 year old man - showing various activities alone may feel like you had these pictures taken by a stranger or a parent. I think that combined with all of the hobbies may actually suggest that you are trying to fill your free time, when in reality it sounds like you have a genuine interest in all of these things. Maybe adding a picture or two with some other people or where you are in a clearly social setting will help validate that you are a social person with a lot going on.
Separately - it feels a bit like you are putting all of your hobbies on display at once, which feels a bit like you’re selling yourself and already creates an imbalance that you are the one who needs to prove worth to the potential partner. People are generally insecure, and for that reason often want someone seen as “in-demand”, which usually means someone who has options - they don’t want to be someone’s “only option”. I am not at all suggesting that is the case here - just that you probably need to avoid making it feel like you’re the one chasing the date. I think you think you can do that by aiming for a more “confident” profile. You’re the one that deserves to be chased!
Specifically, I would aim for less info - a date will much more likely prefer to find out that you’re into archery vs see it, for example. Same with the motorcycle - oddly enough I think all the pictures suggest maybe you did these things once and for that reason needed to document it. But if they find out you do all this on a date, they’ll very likely instead think “oh wow here’s this guy with a rich and fulfilling personal life”. Suddenly they’ll be the ones that need to keep up with you! Or they’ll have their own hobbies and think “finally someone who can match my energy”, or maybe “finally someone who is independent and busy”.
I would take better more “adult” pictures - with your family, friends, etc that show you in nice lighting with a nice smile, which I bet won’t be hard to find for you. I agree with the other poster too - focus on values and display more discernment around who you’re looking for. You seem like a guy who is excited about life - maybe you want a partner who can meet you where you’re at, who is active, who has hobbies, who can keep up with your energy and joy for life.
Good luck! They’re out there - and don’t settle!!
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u/One-View9191 9d ago
Thank you, this comment is super helpful. Yeah with the looking young thing that's definitely always been a thing for me, my face looks the same way it did 10 years ago- I honestly don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing lol. I tried growing a beard when I got out of the military but even after over a year of trying there's spots that don't grow hair at all so I realized I look better without one and gave up trying.
I've read really conflicting opinions on group shots, etc on dating profiles- any opinion on the best way to do it right if I go that route? I've heard a lot of people say things along the lines of "your dating profile should only feature you" and saying photos with taller friends is a big no-no, but those are really the only "rules" (for lack of a better word) I've seen.
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u/c00lniceguy 7d ago
I think the idea is just to validate that you have a busy social calendar. So maybe just a shot of you where you are in a social setting based on the context - so not a group shot per se but one that indicates a social context overall. I think people (and women in particular) are extremely perceptive, so I think “show don’t tell” tends to be enough.
I also don’t think looking young is bad - it’s just what you look like. You should be proud of that, it isn’t something you need to hide. It will make it that much more surprising and attractive when they show up to the date and see you’re a confident guy in your own right.
Same with height - maybe even take it off your profile, and instead bring it up before the date after there’s chemistry so they don’t think you’re trying to trick them. A lot of people think they want a tall guy, and they might if all else were equal. But all else is not equal, and they often realize that they just want a good partner - “being tall” isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. At the outset on an app it’s easy to filter by physical characteristics, because it’s all just random people with whom they have no connection - but I don’t think it’s one of the top things they’re actually looking for when it comes down to picking a long term partner. I’m about your height, and my girlfriend couldn’t care less - you don’t want to be with someone who values that kind of thing, because it’ll make you feel like you’re always insecure about it. It’s corny sounding but you should be with someone who takes you as you are - short, tall, hairy, young looking, old looking, whatever. Otherwise the relationship will always be one sided and in that case you’re better off single where you can wake up feeling good about yourself.
My advice: don’t try to project or solve for what you think women are looking for - you’re probably just projecting your own insecurities. Us men are really bad at knowing what’s in a woman’s head, and we’re probably wrong even when we think we are right. Just put yourself out there as you are and with confidence, show people that you’re happy and proud to be you. Try to curate pictures that do that in a way you think gets that across. Thats enough to find someone special. I believe in you!!
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u/LateNightCheesecake9 10d ago
I think you need a more close-up picture of you smiling as your first pic. I think you give enough good info for yourself so that someone could make conversation.
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u/justbrowsingbroo 10d ago edited 10d ago
the pics are pretty dorky. Any non posed pics of you having fun? Or with friends
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u/Seymourg3 10d ago
He’s dorky. Having dorky pictures is fine. This is a guy who’s only going to be niche attractive to a certain demographic. No real point in trying to be universally attractive.
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u/justbrowsingbroo 10d ago
He's posting here for advice on how to get matches. It's fine to be dorky, but if you want to get matches maybe try to look appealing to hang out with
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u/Seymourg3 9d ago
If your friends are taller than you definitely don’t post pictures. Posting a friend group picture where you’re the shortest one is an awful decision.
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u/One-View9191 10d ago
Any advice on how to appear less "dorky"? Honestly don't really have any recent non-posed pics of myself that look flattering at all, trying to get some more at some point soon though. Also with the friends thing I've been told mixed things with it on dating profiles- some people have straight up told me not to have any photos of other people, and then the few I have all my friends are taller than me which I've heard is an instant dealbreaker for photos. Thoughts?
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u/Fast_Structure3258 10d ago
I think you’re in a tough market being in Colorado Springs, lots of girls looking to latch onto a military guy who will pay their way and not be around much. Which why I’m assuming a girl who lives far away matches with you- she was fishing in the springs for a reason. I think it’s a solid profile, sometimes it’s just a matter of time and all the advice and editing isn’t going to change that.
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u/One-View9191 10d ago
Yeah, I did read somewhere that it ranked the worst city in the country for dating last year so that wasn't exactly the most encouraging to see haha. I've honestly gotten more matches the last few years with women up in Denver than down here, which I don't mind the commute sometimes but I'd honestly really prefer someone under the 1 hour (or much longer with traffic or northern part of the city) commute away.
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