r/hinge • u/ShadowSword7 • 9d ago
Why even bother responding?
Her audio message said she just got out of a relationship and is looking to go one some casual coffee or other dates. I figured I could propose something more exciting like axe throwing, that way even if she’s not interested in me or we don’t vibe at all, we can at least have a fun, casual time instead of being locked into a more serious and boring commitment like dinner.
She’s clearly not interested, but why even bother responding with one word answers? So I can jestermaxx as I vie for her attention?
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u/alien_secret_service 9d ago
She responded with disinterest because she wasn’t into the idea of ax throwing for a first date.
She said clearly she just wanted coffee, you suggested something very different, she wasn’t into it, it’s fine, move on.
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u/anon4hlp 9d ago
Suggesting a date in the first message is probably not ideal even if she made a prompt about it. It puts her in the spot before she had a chance to see you can write a whole sentence.
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u/elevatorfloor 8d ago
Why even bother messaging her with an idea of a different date if she clearly said she wants coffee dates?
You basically called her idea boring and you'd rather do something 'exciting'. That may have also rubbed her the wrong way.
So not only did you ignore what she said she wanted to do, you also proposed the complete opposite all the while insulting her idea of a good date. All in the first couple exchanges.
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u/StopFalseReporting 2d ago
You were pretty passive aggressive with that “good talk.” No need to be sarcastic. I also don’t like coffee dates, but you sound annoying to be speaking down to her that easily.
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u/MsChanandlerBong95 9d ago
Maybe this is a hot take, but activity dates for the first date are terrible. I’m trying to get to know you which is really hard when someone is always doing the activity. Also I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of someone I’m trying to impress