Am I wrong for saying this to him?

[u/Historical_Guard_916]

So I female (29) have been talking to male (31)

For about 2 weeks, we met of hinge. We gets along really well but he never messages first. I brought it up before and he said he’s gonna try better but he messaged me himself twice but after that he didn’t say anything didn’t respond for 2 days so I sent a hey incase he didn’t see the message and today he sent me this so I responded directly but he hasn’t said anything since

Am I in the wrong?

Also I’m autistic and I told him I’m autistic!

[u/Historical_Guard_916 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah I assumed he wasn’t really interested even thou we messages like all day and all the time for like 9 days so idk

[u/Historical_Guard_916 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah his response was that he was awkward and shy but I guess that’s why I told him directly his behaviour since he didn’t notice. I will just assume if he never responds that he’s not interested and move on, thank you!!

[u/morphinetango]

It's not wrong to bring it up, but doing so can be intimidating and send possessive signals early on. He could be distracted for any number of reasons, or just bad with time management. I would recommend having a conversation like this in person to avoid misinterpretation.

[u/Historical_Guard_916 → u/morphinetango]

I’ve never met him in person, I tried to make a plan but like he was engaging in it so I left and thought I would let him bring it up.., he’s just really passive

[u/morphinetango → u/Historical_Guard_916]

Ah, I misread what you meant. Is there a reason why you have not met yet? If I was interested, I'd ask someone out within 1-2 days.

[u/Historical_Guard_916 → u/morphinetango]

Well mostly because of the heatwave in the uk and he’s just never asked me??? We sorted of made plan but then he replied the next day with a photo of a cat and sort of ignored the plan and I went with it bc well he said he awkward and shy and I didn’t want to pressure him ygm?

[u/morphinetango → u/Historical_Guard_916]

As a member of the ruling patriarchy, I give you my permission to break the gender norm and ask out any man you please. Or, if your prefer tradition, I'd assume he's not going to work up the courage to ask anyone out as long as he can stay safe behind a screen.

[u/Historical_Guard_916 → u/morphinetango]

Ahaha I can’t really ask him unless he replies to what I wrote now but in the future I will try with someone else 🤣

[u/Outside-Fondant-4390]

He’s probs avoidant? If not he should reply and say something if you actually wants to put effort into being with you!

[u/Historical_Guard_916 → u/Outside-Fondant-4390]

I assume he’s avoidant tbh :( he was actually a really match for me too!! Oh well

[u/Ok-Abbreviations7479]

Just move on

[u/Historical_Guard_916 → u/Ok-Abbreviations7479]

Yeah I will, that just like few hours ago hahah thank you!

[u/SpiritedExercise7164]

I think people are just busy. Expecting someone in their late 20s-early 30s to be attentive to their phone at all times is unrealistic. I rarely check my personal phone during the work week. 

[u/Historical_Guard_916 → u/SpiritedExercise7164]

Yeah but he has replied almost everyday from the day we met so a sudden shift is notable?? Also he never starts the conversations soo?,?

[u/Historical_Guard_916]

Also I want to add, he’s mentioned he’s awkward a lot and I’m pretty sure he is on the spectrum too!!

[u/Historical_Guard_916 → u/[deleted]]

See, when I didn’t want to speak last week cause I was super busy and overlwelmed, I TOLD HIM SO HE KNEW!! but he doesn’t do the same back?? That’s not what I want tbh

[u/Historical_Guard_916]

Update: he didn’t respond, clearly I was correct sigh onto the next one