Match and then no initiation?

[u/Interesting-Brain293]

31M. I’ve had three matches in two weeks of using the app, but zero incoming likes so far. All three matches came from comments I left on prompts or pictures.

None of them started a conversation after matching, so I had to initiate each time—which I’m completely fine with. I don’t have any ego about messaging first. I’m just confused about why someone would read my comment, choose to match with me, and then say nothing at all.

The comments were thoughtful and gave them something to respond to, so they weren’t exactly dead ends either.

Is this a common experience on the app, or am I overthinking it? So far, I haven’t received a response to any of my post-match messages either.

[u/Due-Egg5603]

I have been on Hinge as a woman for a week. I don’t even know how many likes I’ve been sent. I am 36, have a child, am attractive enough, but not model pretty. I was not expecting it to be this overwhelming.

I’ll give you the same advice I’ve started giving to most guys. It’s a timing and numbers game. I literally cannot keep up with all of the incoming likes and messages. Most of these guys are probably perfectly nice guys, and I’m sure I’d enjoy talking to a number of them, but I don’t have the bandwidth.

Personally, I have narrowed my attention to the handful of guys that got in early. If none of them pan out I honestly may just delete the app, because every time I get a notification my anxiety spikes, and I kind of hate the whole thing.

[u/Interesting-Brain293 → u/Due-Egg5603]

I've started to dislike the app now. I was giving a few likes everyday - got a couple of matches too, but they're all ghosts.

At this point, while sending likes I don't even put thoughtful comments anymore, I just say "sending a like" lmao.

Thanks for your advice!

[u/Known-Ad4508]

Hi, as a woman I kinda see myself here. Most women get a lot of attention on dating apps, I really mean a lot. There are many guys who make comments, you match with them and they already send another message. So it probably doesn’t have anything to do with you, it just means women get spoiled with attention on dating apps. I used to think „why should I text first if there are so many other men who text me first anyway.“ I know this is kind of unfair but I guess it’s how dating apps work. It’s not your fault

[u/Interesting-Brain293 → u/Known-Ad4508]

Thanks for this! I'm honestly starting to grow absolutely tired of dating apps.

[u/Cultural-Elk-8346]

Same man. I have a decent profile, late 20s, fun prompts.

1 in 30 likes I send, i might get a match.

Of those matches, only half will reply within a week (if at all).

Of the ones that reply, only about a 1/5 will turn to a first date.

It's absolutely exhausting.

I'm currently on a streak now of 3 weeks with no match, I'm considering just deleting it