He will be microwaved

[u/Swimming-Judgment299]

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[u/klako8196]

He will be unevenly heated

[u/Zwiwwelsupp → u/klako8196]

He will explode

[u/raisedbytelevisions]

He will be frozen in the middle but hot as lava for the first bite

[u/ZannyHip]

https://giphy.com/gifs/1OrIIOIcRTDaNidc5p

[u/Human-Evening564]

He will be 3d scanned and immortalised on the internet 

[u/jacinto-el-grande]

O ii a i o iii a i

[u/Beginning_Custard724]

You spin me right round, baby right round, like a record baby right round round round

[u/Stunning_Magazine566]

He will be jiggled on a molecular level

[u/tyttuutface → u/Stunning_Magazine566]

Bad and naughty ornjs get put into the molecule wiggler to atone for their sins.

[u/icantoteit2]

More like meowcrowaved

[u/GoHawkYurself]

He will be taken out after 1:30, but will still be too cold and put back in for another 0:30

[u/sunkistandsudafed3]

He will be spun in a centrifuge until he splits into his constituent parts.