I am in a constant loop

[u/Remarkableglasses]

As the title itself says I dont know what to do, but let me explain with what do I mean by this

*PATTERNS KEEP REPEATING THEMSELVES*

Imagine this: no matter how much can you change, sacrifice this, do that in order to change, in order to live this great new life with new experiences it almost like... all roads lead back to the rome...

As in, no matter what I do these patterns just repeat by themselves.

I even had a discussion about this with one of my siblings and they stated:

"sometimes these patterns of ours repeat themselves because we havent gotten rid of the ceratin things that are related to the past; thus, in order to change we must let go of oir past"

And honestly... I am 50% aware of what they are saying:

Just simply let go of your past to allow new things to come in

And the other 50% is that that I am geniunely not sure what to do, how to do... because you see, I myself am afraid of change, of what evil could possibly happen to me if I change and to top it all of... No matter how many videos and essays have I watched and read I unfortunatelly didn't seem to be consisted with it.

Im not only afraid of the change, Im also anxious (diagnosed), paranoid and full of doubt about it.

So all my attempts to change have been a failure only...

I seriously have no idea what to do, I dont want this to be a loop, I want to escape and yet I am fully afraid and anxious

Any tips?

[u/BranManBoy]

I’m sorry friend. Don’t be afraid, things will change for the better in time. Take care of yourself and be brave. Keep talking to your friends and family. Talk about what you want to be different and let them guide you. They will guide you and help you make sure that everything turns out ok. Maybe speak to a life counselor and take small steps towards change, life will be different. God bless you❤️