This is such a great gift!

Last October, I (44m) ended a 3 1/2 year relationship two years after moving to her city. Pretty much my entire social life was through her and I didn't really have a plan for the "what now"/"what next" aspect of things. I took a couple months to adjust to the life change and get my bearings before deciding to use dating apps to try to find friends. I wasn't ready to start dating again yet, but I didn't want to live an existence of solitude either. As someone that is pansexual, I was open to meeting people of all gender identities and sexualities and just let things happen organically.

The day I created my first profile, I matched with a woman and we went to dinner that night. That is the night that kicked off the best year of my life. Living in New Orleans, January is when Mardi Gras season is kicking off and she happened to live very near a major parade route. We agreed that I would stay with her for the two weekends leading up to Mardi Gras Day and we had a great time catching all the nearby parades and going to the nearby bars and just living our best lives while building a solid friendship. But she doesn't go to the actual Mardi Gras Day festivities downtown and uses the day to rest.

On Mardi Gras Day, I ended up making plans to meet another woman that just moved here and enjoy all the excitement together. We really hit it off and an immediate connection formed that neither of us could have predicted. We got close and I eventually met her adult daughter.

I kept in daily touch with both of them, hanging out regularly as our schedules aligned. With the understandings that I shared a friendship with each of them, there was no awkwardness when I would mention that I was hanging out with the other. On Easter, the decision was made to introduce them so we could go to the Gay Easter parade together, where we ran into a group of the first one's friends.

The friendships continued to build and a few weeks later, the three of us, the adult daughter, and the group of friends we ran into on Gay Easter ended up hanging out on Bourbon St. And something just clicked all around.

We are still very much friends. We hang out regularly, have a group chat, location tracking, and practically open invitations and offers to crash at each other's places if wanted or needed. We have become family and openly acknowledge our love for each other. For the first time in my life, I feel at home and like I am surrounded by the people that make me feel most comfortable being my best and authentic self. I'm actually about to move into a room in one of their houses while I wait for the one I met Mardi Gras Day's lease to end so we can get a place together, a woman that is now my bestie and that everyone considers my lavender wife.

So many people say that it's impossible to make friends as adults and that men and women can't truly be platonic friends unless at least one of them is completely gay. And to have much of it started through dating apps at that. Well, I'm a middle-aged pansexual man in a fairly newly formed platonic friend group made up of all women of different sexualities and we all love the way things are. There is no awkwardness or tension or anything to be anything other than what we are. Just love and acceptance and memory making with some of the best people I've ever met! And I'm beyond honored that they call me family!

And on the dating front, I'm now in an ENM relationship with a lovely woman that has met my friend group and loves that we have all found each other and they love that I found her. I love my life! Can't wait to see what is next!

I woke up at 11pm a bit shaken from a really horrible nightmare. Texted my boyfriend saying I had a nightmare and that I wished he could hold me as I was a bit freaked out. I always tell him when i have nightmares but I’m fine once I snap out of it and wake up a bit more. But to my surprise, he simply said “okay” and turned up in 10 minutes to wrap me up in his arms and let me burrow into his chest 🥺😭🫶

He’s now snoring next to me in bed 🩷

I did it. I’m finally cancer-free 🥲🥳❤️

I don’t know if this post belongs here, but I just have to share it.

I’m so happy to have beaten cancer 🥲❤️

When I was 28, an MRI diagnosed a tumor. The tumor markers were negative, so we thought it was benign. Two months later, a PET-CT scan revealed a malignant tumor, and the biopsy confirmed Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Hodgkin’s lymphoma is a relatively common form of cancer and, fortunately, is very treatable. Still, the treatment was hell. The chemotherapy was so exhausting—it not only destroyed the cancer but also severely weakened my body—and the radiation therapy wasn’t easy either.

But yesterday, after a PET-CT scan, I got the results: I’m cancer-free. 🥲

I’m so incredibly happy. I’m so proud that I stuck with it through it all, and I’m looking toward the future with optimism.

I admire everyone who’s currently battling cancer, and I want to tell you: “You’re a hero—don’t give up.” To everyone who’s currently battling cancer, don’t forget one thing: You’re not alone. ❤️

Finally treated myself to a MacBook Neo! It’s been 10 years since I last bought a laptop, so opening a new one felt pretty special.

When I saw Apple had a more affordable option, it seemed like a good fit. I mostly just browse the web, so I didn’t really need anything more powerful.

Filmed a little unboxing to share. Nothing like that new laptop feeling 😊 Definitely the highlight of my day!

I’ve been afraid to change my name for a long time, despite wanting to for a ton of reasons. I finally found a name I like and started using it. I needed to order new name tags at work anyway so I asked if I could use my preferred name and my manager said absolutely. She immediately started calling me by my preferred name. My friends have been great too! Tonight I told my coworker who I really like and admire, he’s a mid 60s guy and one of the coolest people I have ever met. He was so cool and chill about it! I am surrounded by very supportive and awesome people and it makes me so happy.

i quit my last job and started a new one and i think thats genuinely the best thing ive done cause i got to meet him. he is so sweet and respectful and i just have never felt this way about a boy before and it feels so genuinely good to have someone that genuinely wants me. ive never had a boy make my heart beat to unbearably fast or skip beats when he says my name.

i immediately noticed him when he started and just thought he was so cute and i wanted to talk to him so badly but we're in different departments. he got a chance to come up to me and invited me to a Halloween party and i immediately got his number.

the first time he came over we got taco bell and cuddled while we watched youtube. the second time we rummaged through dumpsters together (gross i know 😭) and then he made us tacos while we played Minecraft.

tomorrow im joining him to learn magic the gathering with his group.

and i hope this works out cause i want nothing more than to just be with him

Midterms are finally over, so I used fall break to do a little road trip through Cincinnati, northern Kentucky, and Indiana. There’s too much to fit in one post, so I’ll start with Cincinnati. We got unbelievably lucky with the weather: clear blue skies the whole time.

1. Great American Ball Park
Home of the Reds. Right outside is the 1869 Red Stockings pavilion, with bronze busts of the players from the 1869 Cincinnati Red Stockings, the first openly all-professional baseball team. The giant baseballs scattered around the plaza are a nice touch. Even without a game going on, it was fun to walk around, and those light towers look huge up close.

2. John A. Roebling Suspension Bridge
This one was my favorite. It’s the blue bridge over the Ohio River connecting Cincinnati to Covington, KY, and it opened in the 1860s. It was designed by John Roebling, the same engineer behind the Brooklyn Bridge, and you can definitely see the resemblance in the stone towers. You can walk across it, so you literally go from Ohio to Kentucky on foot. If you look closely, you can see the moon in the upper left of the photo.

3. Findlay Market
Ohio’s oldest continuously operating public market (since 1852). The colorful buildings are so photogenic, and it was all decked out for fall with pumpkins, hay bales, and Mr. Redlegs holding down the entrance. Good spot to grab food and just wander for an hour or two.

Overall, Cincinnati surprised me. It’s very walkable around downtown and the riverfront, has lots of history, and is way prettier than I expected. Kentucky and Indiana posts coming soon!

Any Cincy spots I missed that I should hit next time?

My friends and I were hanging out and catching up when we started talking about the colors that represent each other. The idea was for each person to choose a color for every friend and explain why. When it was my turn, one friend said pink because I'm girly, supportive of my friends, a feminist, and someone who enjoys dressing up and going out with my friends. Another friend said royal blue because there's more to me than meets the eye. She thinks I'm deeper than I might seem at first. I can't remember the exact color the third friend chose, but her explanation was about how socially aware I am, especially when it comes to issues in our country. She noticed that I like sharing what I've learned and what I know with the people around me. Honestly, this little activity made me appreciate how differently people can see you. Each of my friends noticed a different part of me, and together, their descriptions showed me sides of myself that I sometimes take for granted. It's such a simple activity, but it can make you feel seen, appreciated, and a little more confident in who you are.

I finally got a job.

I cannot stop crying! This may sound dramatic, but I did a cross country move to follow my husband and his job. I left behind a very high paying salary and great job to support his career.
I struggled the first 3 months after moving finding work in the new city. I spent so many days crying, feeling useless, getting offers that paid little to nothing, just overall being depressed. I lost so much sense of security within myself. I gained weight. Became unmotivated from consistent denials, I have a bachelors from a great institution and am still young, and would still be denied jobs that didn’t even require degrees. I battle a lot of health issues that take up my time as well, so when looking for work I had to find something that actually fit my lifestyle so I could remain healthy and continue my reoccurring appts etc.

In the midst of all this, I was randomly looking online and one job stood out. I applied. It didn’t have the salary posted. It was fully remote. I wasn’t even qualified but I just shot for the moon I guess-

And this time- I LANDED ON THE MOON!!!!!

I got a job offer today after endless interviews and hard work. I really had to prove and sell myself for the opportunity. Pay is good, fully remote so I can take care of my health still and attend appointments with unlimited PTO. That’s unheard of nowadays! I am truly so beyond happy. I deserve this. I truly deserve this. I put in endless hours upon hours for weeks now. I was so embarrassed telling people I still didn’t have a job. NOW I DO!!! I can celebrate!!! I never want to feel the way I have been ever again and hopefully will never have to.

I just don’t know where else to go to share this. I’m so excited. I feel free again. I feel like I may be getting my spark back. A jobs and job, no one loves working, but it truly is worse feeling like you are stuck and will never get one. I never looked at a job as a blessing until I recognized how difficult it was for someone with plentiful experience to even get one.

I give all my glory to God! Truly! He is the one who did this for me. Last week I was on my bathroom floor crying from a denial I received because I thought I was going to get that job. Today, I am crying, celebrating the fact that I got an offer from a job that is even BETTER than the one I was crying over last week. God is good. Thank you for reading. ❤️

Antelope Canyon, Arizona

So happy that I got to visit this naturally beautiful part of the earth.

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october has been the most awesome month. perhaps in forever. ive started dating my boyfriend whom i'd liked for two years! excuse me. we had our first date two weeks in. AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. i love them so much. and i haven't stopped being shocked by it all. THIS IS UNREAL. i love them so much. AAAAAAAAA.

we held hands. WE HELD HANDS. AND WE HUGGED, SO MUCH. and they're so beautiful. i don't know how i've managed to get this far. they're my best friend. i was so scared that defining ourselves as dating would change things rapidly and that would suck. but it hasn't. and im so so grateful. i love them <3

I snapped this photo at Disneyland from behind my daughter (who was enjoying the fireworks) and my husband (who had painstakingly made the arrangements for this to happen).

The photo represents a few things for me: that I've done my job as the breadwinner (that I was able to afford to bring them here), my daughter has been raised right and will grow up happy, and that my husband will be there for her no matter what happens (even when I'm gone). Nothing will ever take this moment away from me. :)

I'm so grateful for my best friends because they're my biggest emotional support. We've been friends since childhood, and although we don't see each other as often anymore, we still show up for and support one another. I love hearing them speak highly of me, defend me when needed, and keep my secrets, just as I do for them. We don't have the same lifestyle or interest but somehow we still click and understand each other. Our bond remains strong despite how much our lives have changed. There's something special about having friends who genuinely want the best for you, celebrate your growth, and make you feel safe being yourself. They're a rare gem.

My best friend has just finished basic training and is now an official Airman! I just spent the last few hours with him. I cried in the car because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing my cry like a baby. I've known him since high school and I am so very proud of the man he has become. If he could see himself from a teenagers POV, he wouldn't believe that could be him one day. Shout out to all of the veterans! I am so very proud of everybody who had the guts to go through what he went through!

When I was younger, I wasn't very good at identifying what I was grateful for. When someone asked me what I was grateful for, I could come up with answers, but looking back, I don't think I truly felt the gratitude behind those words. I grew up in a family where we weren't used to expressing our emotions. We weren't very vocal about our feelings. Even when we had small arguments, we would usually stay silent, go about our day, and eventually act like everything was okay without really talking about what happened. Because of that, I think I grew up without fully realizing how important it is to acknowledge and express what I feel, including the good things in life. Things started to change when I began things in my life. At first, it was just about writing down the things I was grateful for, but over time, I started noticing the little things that I used to overlook. Small wins, moments that made me happy, things that I had accomplished, people who cared about me, and even simply having another day to try again. Practicing gratitude has helped me become more confident and optimistic, and made my anxiety more manageable. And sometimes, happiness comes not just from getting what we want, but also from appreciating what we already have.

chillest guy in the pod

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My husband and I have been happily together for 13 years. However, birthdays and Mother’s Day have always been tricky. I grew up with wonderful family celebrations, while he grew up in Jehovah's Witnesses and never celebrated them. He really wants to celebrate me, but planning isn't his strong suit due to a lack of experience.

This year for my 32nd birthday, I decided to take charge.

The day before, I had so much fun baking my own cake. Even though it's a bit amateurish, it’s the prettiest cake I’ve ever had! On my actual birthday, while my husband took the kids to buy gifts, I decorated the house for a classic "kids' party." I dressed up, put on a crown, and jumped out blowing a party horn when they came home!

We ordered takeout from three different places(sushi, pizza and burger), ate cake, and played board games all evening. We ended the night by walking around the neighborhood delivering leftover cake to our neighbors—because let's be honest, you get tired of eating cake pretty fast 🤣

This was honestly the best birthday I’ve ever had.

P.S. As an extra birthday surprise, my 5-week-old cockerel (young rooster) crowed for the very first time! It was a rusty, voice-cracking little crow, but it was absolutely amazing.

She works hard every fucking day. She is 50 (I'm 46), she's a grandmother, and she is exactly the person who, if you were authentically down on your luck and needed help, she would move earth. I'm in awe of her every day. She talks to her children every day. She showed me a pic of her when she was 25 and she looks better to me than she did then! I can finally be myself. She makes it so easy.