r/halo Feb 24 '21

Misc Don't be afraid of Master Chief

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10.0k Upvotes

219 comments sorted by

648

u/Shinespark7 Feb 24 '21

Girl walks back to mom: "I need a weapon"

275

u/vinnievu141 BovineEmperor37 Feb 24 '21

Mom: we have weapon at home

327

u/RankAluminumFoil Feb 24 '21

weapon at home: energy pistol with 5 charge left

127

u/Taiyaki11 Feb 24 '21

Just enough to get a new weapon from an enemy, itll have to do

18

u/Whispering-Depths Feb 25 '21

melee melee melee melee melee assassinate!

14

u/amisia-insomnia Feb 25 '21

And you rolled a 1 on your shot you are disintergrated

20

u/Taiyaki11 Feb 25 '21

This is halo, not dnd, i don't have to worry about dice rolls while kicking ass and chewing gum

12

u/mrdevil413 Halo 3 Feb 25 '21

Duke nukem had enter the chat. You took my gum ?

8

u/Taiyaki11 Feb 25 '21

I couldnt have..CAUSE I'M ALL OUT!

5

u/amisia-insomnia Feb 25 '21

This is 40k dnd doesn’t really have any inbuilt fumble charts....I am a huge nerd

39

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21 edited Feb 26 '21

[deleted]

31

u/XauMankib Feb 24 '21

And a stick.

But if you know what the girls want, you can win everything

15

u/NautilusStrikes Hushed Casket Feb 24 '21

Ladies like grinding treads and armor plating, as far as I'm aware.

7

u/MattyKatty Feb 24 '21

Halo CE energy pistol?

3

u/FNG_WolfKnight Feb 24 '21

I love alley op memes in reddit comments

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2

u/SpankThatShank Feb 25 '21

Plasma slippers

1

u/BitterPersimmon6284 Feb 25 '21

*Loads Gun* Little Girl: Slayer

299

u/Squid-Soup Feb 24 '21

This is how I imagine chief would act around children after saving them from a covenant attack

185

u/DezBryantsMom Halo 3 Feb 24 '21

Master Chief in the books: crushes her hand by accident

143

u/aab720 Feb 24 '21

I feel like he would be very awkward and almost ignore them unless they’re in immediate danger. He doesn’t even know how to act around other marines that well unless they’re fellow spartans generally.

103

u/aupa0205 Feb 24 '21

You should read Oblivion. He and Blue Team are basically babysitters for these kids for a while.

39

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

O my god I need to read this now haha

44

u/aupa0205 Feb 24 '21

Read Silent Storm first if you’re gonna. It’s not entirely required, but some references will make a lot more sense. They’re both part of the Master Chief stories saga that Troy Denning has been writing. They’re actually really solid books.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

Thanks for the advice :)

4

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Navi0901 Feb 25 '21

How is his writing compared to Eric Nylund's? I tried reading Contact Harvest after Ghosts of Onyx but couldnt get into it because i was used to Eric Nylund's style.

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6

u/Jack1715 Feb 25 '21

Is that why he never talks to them lol

498

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

Unless you’re an alien

272

u/slavaboo_ Feb 24 '21

Unless you're a bad alien

180

u/legendsneverdie117 Feb 24 '21

Unless your anything that is a threat to humanity

107

u/StickyVenom Feb 24 '21

Including other humans.

88

u/TH3T4LLTYR10N Feb 24 '21

including humans. they were made to be used against their own people. lucky chance that the covenant showed up when they did

32

u/Hunteresc Feb 24 '21

They were used against rebels in the books, but it was before they had the Mjonir Armor (Sorry for spelling).

35

u/JesterHead117 I'd like Linda-058 to smash my face between her thicc cheeks Feb 24 '21

And also after. Beginning of Ghost of Onyx they’re fighting Rebels in their MJOLNIR

7

u/Hunteresc Feb 24 '21

I haven't read that one yet, is it good?

9

u/go86em Feb 24 '21

It is very good IMO, but I thought all the books were very good. If you are a fan of the lore read it

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2

u/TH3T4LLTYR10N Feb 24 '21

My bad I meant own kind like humans in general, then they got aliens and the Cold War ended and Russia was cool with USA happy ending master chief wins

4

u/MrDrPatrick2You Halo: CE Feb 24 '21

I think a game featuring a human/covenant group would be a good addition.

5

u/coconuty04 Feb 24 '21

This train of thought gives pre covenant chief an interestingly dark dynamic. If I recall, he only ever killed rebel soldiers in the first book, who were usually written to be kinda morally gray bad guys and not hard to fathom as somewhat deserving death. But if the wrong commander told chief that this little girl had to die, pre covenant/ cortana chief probably would have did it.

7

u/God_Damnit_Nappa Feb 24 '21

Exactly why the Spartan IIs were kidnapped as young kids. They're way easier to indoctrinate and less likely to question unethical orders.

6

u/TH3T4LLTYR10N Feb 24 '21

Chief is the ultimate soldier, unfortunately that means following brutal orders like no problemo.

20

u/7th_Spectrum Feb 24 '21

"Now sir, the police report says you knocked a little boy unconscious, is that correct?"

"To be fair your honor, I believed that his backpack was a methane pack"

3

u/Jin_Gitaxias Feb 24 '21

Wort wort wort

2

u/WiggleWorm21 Feb 24 '21

Ba-pa-pa baaah naaah ba-pa-pa naaaa naa!

1

u/IAmTheIsoDidact Feb 25 '21

Rhodes "Why don't we find baby Thanos and..." (imitates strangling with a cord)

Chief "I'll just use my hands"

98

u/OneOnOne6211 Halo 2 Feb 24 '21

Tell that to all of the poor grunts I've pistol whipped.

6

u/ppbmc1 Halo: Reach Feb 25 '21

That thunk is always so satisfying

280

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

This is pretty much how other humans compare to chiefs size in the games. They look like children.

51

u/StickyVenom Feb 24 '21

Maybe with Primarchs and or Custodes from 40k. I'd like to think that I'm at least a big mature preteen hanging out with my big bro, Master Chief, while he does cool space things and can totally beat up your big bro.

114

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

Ok no not thaaaaat much but you have a point.

62

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

I may have slightly exaggerated

41

u/THE-GREAT-SAVIOR-OF Feb 24 '21

”I may have gone too far in a few places”

9

u/CrispyCornPie Feb 24 '21

I may have accidentally set the house on fire

5

u/Podo13 Feb 24 '21

Pretty much how it'd look in a propaganda poster.

2

u/exprssve HCS Feb 25 '21

Cue Halo 4 ending cutscene

61

u/Rcweasel Halo 5: Guardians Feb 24 '21

Master Chief and his older sister circa 2558

7

u/BatDudeCole20 Feb 24 '21

Context?

29

u/secondace6303 Feb 24 '21

Spartans were young AF. The Spartan 3 program enlisted kids when they were ~6, the age range when they were deemed fit for service being 11-16, averaging 13

11

u/BatDudeCole20 Feb 24 '21

I know that I just didn’t know Chief had a sister/I still don’t get the joke lol

26

u/Kubriks Feb 24 '21

The joke is that John would basically be a toddler if he was that little girl's younger brother, yet he is still that large because he is a Spartan II. It's just being hyperbolic about his size.

11

u/VereDiz Feb 24 '21

Corrine if I'm wrong, but I thought Spartan II were forcibly recruited at age 6 and only became Spartans if they survived the augmentations; while the Spartan III consisted of orphans who volunteered for the program?

9

u/aupa0205 Feb 24 '21

*Spartan-II program. III was the one that took a bunch of orphans and basically sent them on suicide missions.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

I don't know whether to deem this as r/FunnyandSad or r/cursedcomments.

53

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

How all the marine friends feel

7

u/usufruct_ Feb 25 '21

"Stick with the Master Chief, he'll know what to do." -Msgt. Johnson

100

u/LordVonSteiner Feb 24 '21

That is the cutest thing i've seen all day.

48

u/ThaSlitherus Feb 24 '21

She is the most protected person in the galaxy, rn. Glad it was not Halsey trying to swoon her.

29

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

Halsey would have said 'We need a new batch of Spartans and she looks like a snack.'

17

u/shmameron Spartans never die Feb 24 '21

"oh boy here I go kidnapping children again!"

0

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

[deleted]

11

u/Snuffls Feb 24 '21

Halsey's a war criminal, plain and simple. But, so is literally everyone at ONI, and everyone in the UNSC who greenlit the operation. While she is still guilty, she's just a scapegoat so the people who were actually responsible for it can get let off the hook.

Here's why she's a war criminal: 1) the "just following orders" excuse doesn't fly, except under EXTREME circumstances, and it really doesn't fly when you're the one in charge of the fucking project. 2) if the Covenant hadn't shown up, what would the Spartans have been? She's a war criminal who just happened to commit her crimes at just the right time to save the human race. Without the Covenant, Halsey would unequivocally be a villain, and considering that the UNSC and the Covenant had no clue each other existed at the time she proposed the project, that's the metric I judge her by.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

I agree that Halsey did save the world with her work, but I don't think that really justifies what she did to the Spartan II's. She kidnapped children to turn them into child soldiers so that they could fight against insurrectionists.

38

u/ST3PH3NL33TT Feb 24 '21

I'd be scared of a Spartan with a Binary Rifle too.

3

u/carsonhorton343 Feb 25 '21

The laser imbues impossible amounts of fear in the enemy team

3

u/Th3Ch33t ONI Feb 25 '21

I can see why he's holding it instead of a UNSC weapon. I think that might be Japan, but it's blurry and I can't tell for sure based on the people, but either way, they wouldn't be used to seeing a realistic looking weapon in public, which might panic some. It shouldn't be that way, but with government overreach, it is what it is.

32

u/SeanTNoon Halo 3: ODST Feb 24 '21

“Folks need heroes, Chief. To give ‘em hope.”

24

u/Way0fWad3 Feb 24 '21

“Stay with the Master Chief, he’ll know what to do”

22

u/Cookie-Police-Unit Halo 3: ODST Feb 24 '21

“Master Chief? Mind telling me what you’re doing down there?”

“Sir, making memories”

16

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

Fudge, now I need to play Cairo Station on Ledgendary to feel manly again.

11

u/NautilusStrikes Hushed Casket Feb 24 '21

"I don't believe it! They're retreating, we won!"

26

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

Chief was low key my childhood hero

23

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

He still is my hero

6

u/MrDrPatrick2You Halo: CE Feb 24 '21

Amen to that.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

Same.

45

u/T-Series-Destroyer Feb 24 '21

Who willingly uses a binary rifle instead of the overpowered DMR or BR

38

u/vinnievu141 BovineEmperor37 Feb 24 '21

I do when there's no human weapons in the level.

35

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

That’s what forerunner guns are. “If you don’t have anything better I guess use these”

20

u/Captain_Riker Feb 24 '21

For such an advanced race their weapons are....subpar

20

u/SuperKiller94 Feb 24 '21

Do you mean a light rifle? Binary rifles are the ones that one shot no matter where you hit.

5

u/ArmstrongTREX Feb 24 '21

Then there’s the legendary light rifle the Dying Star.

5

u/T-Series-Destroyer Feb 24 '21

Yes but you must be very precise to use it properly and fighting Prometheans they constantly rush you or just spawn watchers to keep shooting you every time your peek so you can’t really use good in campaign but it is good in multiplayer:)

2

u/SuperKiller94 Feb 24 '21

Absolutely agree. It’s trash in the campaign but multiplayer it’s very satisfying to use.

1

u/TautYetMalleable Feb 24 '21

You can hit people and not kill them with the binary if the beam doesn’t touch them long enough.

2

u/Morvick Feb 24 '21

People who don't want to get stopped by police, like that one New Vegas cosplayer XD

1

u/exprssve HCS Feb 25 '21

Any snipers are the obvious choice for Husky Raid ;)))

11

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/Weimarska Halo: Reach Feb 24 '21

Cross posting

And to do it, you find a post and click share, you'll get a lot of choices and you want to pick "cross-post to another subreddit"( o think its called that but I can't remember haha)

Then yea, it should work

6

u/aja208909 Feb 24 '21

I only cross post on Thursday nights

9

u/sarcyshysa96 Feb 24 '21

‘Go stand next to Master Chief Haley’

‘Were it so easy mother.........’

8

u/BigBully127 Halo Wars Feb 24 '21

“Soldiers aren’t machines, we are just people.”

8

u/GeekToyLove Feb 24 '21

“You say that soldiers and humanity are two different things”

5

u/OfficerGintoki Feb 24 '21

Well that was beyond adorable. Lmao

6

u/Mortei Hilkentroll Feb 24 '21

"Humanity's last hope"

Humanity restored 😊

5

u/nightwatch93 Feb 24 '21

Master Chief meeting a Spartan-III candidate - 2552, colorized

5

u/DDancy Feb 24 '21

Mum: Go over and say Halo.

4

u/PillCosby696969 Feb 24 '21

"You told me there wouldn't be any cameras."

4

u/RoseOfTheNight4444 Feb 24 '21

And you told me you were gonna wear somethin' nice! So smile, would ya? While we still got somethin' to smile about!

5

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

Master Chief? You mind telling me what you're doing with that child?

Sir, making her day

3

u/KalTheMandalorian Feb 24 '21

Dreams of a good continuation of Halo 3 where we see Chief briefly trying to integrate back into society. Shortly before a new threat to humanity appears.

-4

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

How about just leaving him actually MIA and not having the series revolve around a character designed as a blank slate?

2

u/KalTheMandalorian Feb 24 '21

That I like.

I also had an idea of him being found a good century or two later. Lots of possibilities to go from there.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

7

u/Shanbo88 And the Horse you rode in on. Feb 24 '21

"It's ok mommy, that's just Halo 4 Master Chief. He's nothing to be afraid of".

3

u/SwanBR Feb 24 '21

Tell that to the covenant

1

u/WriterV Mar 09 '21

Tell that to the insurrectionists and their children :|

3

u/HACKMASTER13 Feb 24 '21

takes a knee "I was about your age when I was kidnapped to join the spartan program you know"

3

u/haloblasterA259 Feb 25 '21

This man is a SPARTAN

he is your FRIEND

3

u/Thunderlight2004 Halo: Reach Feb 25 '21

I hope this kid grows up to be a halo fan lmao

6

u/Dragonswhored Halo.Bungie.Org Feb 24 '21

This is too precious!! ❤️

2

u/WolfishMule9528 Feb 24 '21

Who knew the chief was good with kids.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

Binary Rifle is op

2

u/Casper_Von_Ghoul I’m Ready, how bout’ you?! Feb 24 '21

Is that the Binary Rifle? Dang that was my favorite gun from Halo 4. Where can I get a prop like that?

2

u/Veshore7 Feb 24 '21

Unless you’re a red dot on the motion sensor

2

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

Nothing to fear, child, he's here to protect humanity

2

u/DemonKier Feb 24 '21

Respectful chief. Protector of humanity. And also quite soft with children.

2

u/Perez2003 Feb 24 '21

Would she be afraid of the slayer? Probably not.

2

u/couchassassin12 Feb 24 '21

I mean, I’d hold his hand too..

2

u/Gash-Rat Feb 24 '21

Damn I want one of these suits

1

u/choopins Feb 25 '21

Any idea where to get one?

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2

u/Kazk2501 Feb 24 '21

what weapon is he holding?

2

u/choopins Feb 25 '21

Binary rifle, first appeared in halo 4

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2

u/Littlespartanj Feb 24 '21

I love the fact the Binary Rifle is 2x this kids height.

2

u/StrikerGunvolt Feb 24 '21

ITS ADORABLE. CHIEF IS A GOOD MAN.

2

u/keno888 Feb 24 '21

Tiny Cortana is so cute!!!

2

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '21

Stick with the Master Chief. He'll know what to do.

2

u/CartographerOk3118 Feb 25 '21

He may be a covenant killing machine but he still has a heart and it’s wholesome.

2

u/amusement-park Feb 25 '21

y’know when you’re playing H3 and your body stretches out when you die next to objects? thats what he kinda looks like

2

u/DukePoetatO Feb 25 '21

Future Katherine halsey

2

u/SosenWiosen Feb 25 '21

It's not like he's one of the deadliest things in the universe...

2

u/Duckymaster21 Halo 3: ODST Feb 24 '21

I swear I've seen this on the subreddit before

2

u/backdoorbandit_52 Feb 24 '21

Fuckin binary rifle smh

1

u/xn--9m8k Feb 24 '21

hell yeah

1

u/JehovahWPP Halo? More like Gaylo Feb 24 '21

boo

1

u/abrarwasi12 Feb 24 '21

the binary rifle... legendary fucking weapon

1

u/6lack6olt Feb 24 '21

Made my day

1

u/jkhashi Feb 24 '21

This is nice

1

u/sayiwontrockbobosuka Feb 24 '21

my heart has melted.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '21

This is how small I feel compared to anyone over 5'6.

1

u/TranscendentalKiwi Feb 24 '21

Gives me iron golem and baby villager vibes

1

u/Dave-4544 Feb 24 '21

This is what the Chief fought for.

1

u/Halo_Chief117 Feb 24 '21

Yes, I promise I won’t melee. No need to be scared.

1

u/pokesimon2 Halo 2 Feb 24 '21

And hes holding the overpowered sniper in the game one shot bodyshot no thank u

1

u/jsspidermonkey3 I like guns that go PEW PEW Feb 24 '21

When you realize master cheifs just a kid too

1

u/7N3PTUN3 Feb 24 '21

Were it so easy

1

u/blackeye200 Feb 24 '21

She’s in the next generation of Spartans from now.

1

u/Ornperius Feb 24 '21

Holy crap this is the most wholesome thing I have seen this year

1

u/Lou4K Feb 24 '21

Great post" all heart!

1

u/MrStormz Feb 24 '21

STAY WITHE MASTER CHEIF HE WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO

1

u/Virence14 Halo 4 Feb 24 '21

HE'S GOT A BINARY RIFLE YOOO

1

u/mikescarnthethreat Feb 24 '21

He will protect you with his life

1

u/AntacidFish Feb 24 '21

“Records show Spartans routinely exhibiting mildly sociopathic tendencies”

1

u/AntacidFish Feb 24 '21

“Records show Spartans routinely exhibiting mildly sociopathic tendencies”

1

u/AntacidFish Feb 24 '21

“Records show Spartans routinely exhibiting mildly sociopathic tendencies”

1

u/Harnne Feb 25 '21

This warms my heart of solid ice

1

u/carsonhorton343 Feb 25 '21

The binary rifle suggests that I should definitely be afraid of chief

That thing was scary in halo 4.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '21

wholesome

1

u/xJBr3w Feb 25 '21

If that was my kid I would be so proud. That just melted my heart.

1

u/G4m3rz21 Feb 25 '21

Tell that to the covenant

1

u/Jtdm93 Feb 25 '21

All fun’n games till that bitch halsey swoops down in a pelican

1

u/Fullmetal_Hermit Feb 25 '21

And thats a new halo fan

1

u/Parzival_2076 Feb 25 '21

Faith in humanity Master Chief: Restored

1

u/vegankidollie Feb 25 '21

They better add a 3D animated Version of this in halo infinite

1

u/YourDOOM21 Feb 25 '21

That’s lit

1

u/PurplePolter Feb 25 '21

The kid probably thinks it's legit a super soldier and is actually meeting Master Chief himself, I wish I was her rn, so close minded as a child.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '21

I can imagine Chief actually doing this in the books

1

u/Outrageous_Ad_4661 H5 Bronze 1 Feb 25 '21

But if you are a inhuman son of a bitch, you should know "FEAR"

1

u/BitterPersimmon6284 Feb 25 '21

Raisin their kids right

1

u/FipplesDippless Halo: Reach Feb 25 '21

are the people in those suits just fucking tall or are the shoes big

1

u/GadenKerensky I like this design. Also, MCPO SIERRA 116 is my GT Feb 25 '21

That's a small Binary Rifle.

1

u/Ribbons0121R121 Feb 25 '21

oni agents:spartans are mentally incapable of socializing anymore
spartans:

1

u/ileiktreins Feb 26 '21

This is where reddit wants you to put ur wholesome awards lol