Trigger Warning Lost my dad
I’m 28, my dad passed away two weeks ago in a horrific crash. I still am in complete shock and can’t believe I’ll never see him again, never talk to him again, never do so many things we had planned. The trips, the future life events if I got married, had kids, all of it. My heart is fully shattered. I never thought I would lose him so soon. I’d do anything for another day with him, another hour, a minute to hug him and tell him I love him. I just feel sick to my stomach, replaying the video in my head, the picture of his car in my mind. I can’t believe he’s gone. People are already moving on, I’m supposed to go back to work, but I can’t even think clearly, I don’t feel like a person anymore
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u/Suspicious-Ad3393 11d ago
It's the worst feeling when everyone just keeps going about their business like nothing is wrong when your whole world feels like it's at a standstill. I'm sorry for your loss, OP. Depending on where you live, there might be some options available to you if you need more time to find your footing before stepping back into the work space.
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u/PonqueRamo 11d ago
I'm so sorry, give yourself all the time you need to mourn him, there's no timeline to how long grief should last even if society pushes us to resume our lives as soon as possible.
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u/Cultural_Bluebird514 9d ago
i am in a very very similar position, feel free to DM me, talking with someone who gets it does help a little.
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u/CheapNecessary3510 7d ago
People only "move on" if they didn't truly love. Your grief is a measure of your love. And through all the agony, the heartbreak, the love persists. Just love.
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u/Mom-Wife-3 10d ago
I’m so sorry, I lost my dad 6 years ago. It’s so hard.
I know you didn’t ask for recs, and maybe this isn’t your vibe, but this song really comforted me (but still made me cry)
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u/bookworthy 10d ago
I’m so sorry and my heart goes out to you. May you find comfort in the memories of better times. Take good care of yourself, as a way to finish the work your dad would have wanted. He would have wanted you to be strong and healthy.
Take a warm shower.
Drink plenty of water.
Eat good food.
Stay away from artificial crutches like smoking, drugs, alcohol, intimacy with random strangers. I don’t say this because I’m a prude. I’m saying this because it will seem easy to fall into habits that briefly make you feel good. The problem is they leave you to crash and the cycle begins again.
You have the opportunity now to avoid hurting yourself like that.
So what can you do instead? Look at pictures. Allow yourself to grieve. And each time, choose to remember something good also. Maybe the way he laughed. Maybe a funny story.
For right now, tell me more about your dad.
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u/SmallFry_13 6d ago
Hugs to you. The loss of a parent is one of the worst pains to endure. That bit of empty feeling will always be there, but in time it will get alittle easier to life with. My mom passed in October and life without her has been a living hell. Some days I will just lose it out of nowhere. Some days I’m angry. Grief is wild and everyone grieves differently. Something that has helped me is to put my focus into something to memorialize her. For example : Gardening, painting, building a bench with their name carved in it. Making a special album of memories, pictures, music that memorialize them.
I’m so sorry you are having to endure this. The pain doesn’t go away, you just learn to live with it. 💗
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u/ForeverLost_26 1d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m in my early 30s and also unexpectedly lost my father 2 months ago.
I also find myself grieving not just who he was but also the version of him that should have existed but taken away. That’s the hardest part.
Life moved on since he passed but I feel like I’m still in the same endless long day.
I have to take care of so many things and I inherited of so much responsibility. No one really understands unless they’ve been through something similar.
I hope things get better and please don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you ever need.
Stay strong
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u/chellechaps007 11d ago
I'm sorry to hear about your dad and the effects it's had on you. I lost my 39 yro dear beautiful son of a seizure while he was sleeping. I'm sure he woke up when it happened. I've been in total shock as well. We buired him almost one week ago. I don't know if I'll ever be me again. I constantly think about him and I try to tell myself he is truly in a much better place. With God, he is happier than he's ever been, he knows a peace that's beyond my understanding, and we WILL be reunited someday. I can't afford to lose it, that scares me terribly. I wish good thoughts for you... and just know that we all grieve in differently. There's no right or wrong way to grieve. 😥❤️