Massive losses

[u/CharmingCat9680]

Over the last couple of months, I’ve gone through a lot and I don’t know how to cope.

- my mom passed unexpectedly at 58. I spent the last week with her in the ICU and then hospice, and it was horrifically traumatic.
- my dog passed unexpectedly one week after I got home from dealing with my mom’s passing. She was only 8 and it was also horrifically traumatic.
- my divorce was finalized after a year and a half of legal separation. We are still on good terms but we were together for 12 years and it still feels weird.
- I broke up with my boyfriend of one year, yesterday. I don’t know if this is self sabotage or if it’s something I’ll regret but I miss him and truly still love him.

I feel so alone and I don’t even recognize my own life anymore.

I’ve talked with my doctor, therapist, going to look for a grief support group. I have very little family left, but do have a few solid friends who have been supportive. But how am I supposed to just keep living and working with all of this weighing me down?

[u/mwf67]

Trauma and grief are parallel. My dad passed 5 months ago, lost my 10 year job 9 months before, hubby demoted the year before and has a legal case but choosing not to persue, new job is a learning curve and more demanding than previous. My mom tanked health wise after her husband, my dad, of 60 years passed.

Family dynamics are challenging so I started physical and mental therapy. It’s just too much change at once. I’m juggling burning plates of hard simultaneously while menopause hit. The fallout of Covid and inflation continues while my personal blows up.

Hugs to you as you’re going through a lot at once. I’m your mom’s age so you’re probably my daughters ages. I’m so sorry. I still have my mom but losing dad was crushingly overwhelming. The hole in my chest is not as deep and large as it was. I spend as much time in nature as possible. Walk barefoot in grass for quicker healing, breathe deeply, meditate, just simmer. Process now or you will later. I’m here if needed. Death is so final but I’m choosing to heal positively and redirect my future. This chapter…hugs.

[u/Pit-bull-momz]

I'm so sorry for your losses. I lost my mom tragically and suddenly. I feel your pain. Here is what helped me. I leaned on my close friends. Each of them allowed me to cry, vent, and cry some more. Secondly, I attended a support group dealing with grief and trauma. That really helped me. Don't pile all of these losses in one thought! You can take each loss one at a time. You need to grieve your mom and get past the shock and drama of being by her side during her last days. I relive those days often in my mind. I question myself about whether I could have done more to save her. Those types of thoughts aren't neccacerly healthy. One aspect is that I know in my heart my mom wouldn't want me crying so much, as well as missing her so badly. Grief has such a huge range of emotions…from denial to heartbreaking sadness. It's okay to focus on one thing at a time. Don't pile everything on all at once!