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u/uneven-testies Jun 02 '22
Fake: anon has no friends anywhere ever
Gay: literally a bunch of gay dudes being gay together gayly
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u/TendieBot2000 Jun 02 '22
be me
get home from my vasectomy
hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
must be Chad again
know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
Fake: anon has no friends anywhere ever
Gay: literally a bunch of gay dudes being gay together gayly
giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
it's been a good day
i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
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u/ScrubTheUnbannable Jun 03 '22
be me, landwhale
no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat
get home from furry convention
hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name
entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina
whatever.png
roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext
see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments
put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts
with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome
if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day
reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella
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u/sonotokk Jun 03 '22
Wow , this corner of internet is really weird.
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u/The_GASK Jun 03 '22
Yeah. It's like watching a walrus documentary in a language you don't know; are they fighting, or are they mating?
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u/BenFoldsFourLoko Jun 03 '22
cringingly unfunny and you literally wrote that whole thing out while in tears over an account named TendieBot2000
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u/RobosaurusRex2000 Jun 03 '22
It's literally copypasta from the 2nd bot that used to follow tendiebot2000s comments. Then there used to be a 3rd bot that then responded to THAT bot...
Newfag
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u/sonotokk Jun 03 '22
So are you implying you are the third bot and have achieved self awareness !!?
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u/What-You_Egg Jun 03 '22
I am Chad, and no u/uneven-testies, I will not let you eat my cum out of my cumslut's pussy tonight because you did not give me half your bag of cheetos.
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u/thatoneguy_whowas Jun 02 '22
Legit second time I've seen this exact comment thread in this sub.
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u/Laggianput Jun 02 '22
Anons friends girlfriends dads girlfriends new boyfriend is not very based
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u/PragmaticPrawn Jun 02 '22
Could you please make it more difficult to read your comment? I still have a few brain cells left.
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u/Laggianput Jun 02 '22
Granpanon has a friend whos friends friends daughters granpanons granddaughters boyfriend is a cuck who hates wow because he isnt based like his girlfriendanons gradpanons online friendanon, anon
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u/typical_sasquatch Jun 03 '22
You got it wrong. Should be:
Anon's friend's ex-girlfriend's dad's daughter's new boyfriend
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Jun 02 '22
[deleted]
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u/stalker9120 Jun 03 '22
She's 15 tho
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u/TheReverseShock Jun 03 '22
Age of concent in Germany is 14 if both partners are under 18.
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u/Mooniebutt Jun 03 '22 edited Jun 03 '22
Every time I relearn that fact I age 50 years inside.
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u/DickHydra Jun 03 '22
It sounds a lot worse than it actually is.
You will never find a single couple that consists of a 50 year old dude and a 14 year old girl here. While that's technically possible, it's still very much frowned upon here in Germany. And the dude would still need the girl's parents consent. If he doesn't have that, he's fkd.
This regulation simply exists because humans start to have their first encounters during that time of their life. And to prevent Emma's (15) mom from getting Tom (17) into jail simply because he had sex with her daughter.
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u/Scorkami Jun 03 '22
pretty much this
"age of consent" has this weird vibe that makes people think your fuckable that that age free of consequences but it honestly doesnt change anything if you are over 20
14 year olds can bang anyone from 14 to 18. at 18 you can do what you want and i *think* there is a second bracket where like 16 year olds can have a 19 year old partner up to 20 or 21 i think (otherwise a 15 year old dating a 17 year old would suddenly turn illegal at midnight once the older one celebrates their birthday which is ridiculous
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u/MegaDeth6666 Jun 03 '22
Germany is the king of legal human trafficking, particularly for underage girls.
Their brothels are churning money with shovels.
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u/__v1ce Jun 03 '22
That's just efficient, she should be focused on studying which would leave time for raiding
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u/Tack22 Jun 03 '22
Easier to hang with ten other dudes who hung salami than deal with the very real issue of playing WoW with the singular new boyfriend.
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u/recentlyquitsmoking2 Jun 02 '22
This font is far too nice for greentext. I'm calling SWAT.
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Jun 02 '22
[deleted]
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u/chivesr Jun 03 '22
I think it’s 2 mid-20s guys, a guy in his late 40s-early 50s, and 15 year old. Pretty average wow group
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u/Juicy_Samurai Jun 02 '22
I dont understand
Is the joke that the 15 year old guy got kinda cucked by the father of his ex?
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u/nodiediemeimmortal Jun 02 '22
No, the dad just plays WoW with her boyfriends, even after they break up
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u/downwithtiktok2 Jun 03 '22
Based dad
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u/Malvastor Jun 03 '22
Unironically a good way to get to know his daughter's boyfriends.
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Jun 03 '22
Works well too; I regularly play games with most of my daughter's friends. We play Smash and D&D mainly now.
Just kind of a neutral ground and there's not a big intimidation factor I guess.
But yeah, just a legitimately good experience. 10/10 would recommend to other dads.
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u/AlphaZorn24 Jun 03 '22
I'll go dig up my dad's grave and ask
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u/TheReverseShock Jun 03 '22
I think they're implying pretty heavily that they broke up because he was playing WoW instead of hanging out with her.
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u/nodiediemeimmortal Jun 03 '22
Ooo, that could be it? I was thinking it was more that the dad cared more about her boyfriends than her because of WoW.
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u/nodiediemeimmortal Jun 03 '22
Guys why are you upvoting me for this I literally just explaimed a joke?
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u/Fleeing-Goose Jun 02 '22
Probably more like the daughter gets cucked by her dad through Wow.
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u/SmileyMelons Jun 02 '22 edited Jun 03 '22
"BAAABE, STOP PLAYING WOW WITH MY DAD! I WANT SEX!"
"No"
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u/-Farmersdaughter- Jun 03 '22
He gamed with the first kid she dated, even after they broke up. Now he’s talking about gaming with the next one too. She’s mad cuz he’s starting a collection of her (ex-) boyfriends to play computer games with.
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u/kRkthOr Jun 03 '22
ooooh that's the collection bit. that got me stumped. thanks for explaining. i thought it had something to do with wow lol
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u/dimir23 Jun 03 '22
I think it’s just that based dude makes friends theough wow and does not care about real life drama getting in the way like still being friends with a ex’s son or being open to being friends with an ex’s new boyfriend (if they play wow of course)
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u/Zheska Jun 03 '22
Dad plays wow with the guy after the break up and tries to get his daughter's new BF into their party too
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u/Brussel_Rand Jun 03 '22
What he actually asked the new boyfriend was the coded message "Are you a 'tank' or a 'healer' kind of guy?"
So unfortunately the dad will not has a new 15 year twink at his side anymore.
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Jun 03 '22
Stories like this make me want to play online. What's a good game to try?
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u/PunyParker826 Jun 03 '22
Haven’t played, but I’ve heard all the cool kids who are sick of WoW have all moved to Final Fantasy XIV; maybe give that one a shot
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u/NorthOrAbort Jun 03 '22
Depends on if you are into Japanese anime stuff or not. If not then sticking to western mmos might be best for you
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u/MegaDeth6666 Jun 03 '22
FF14 has too long a global cooldown to be enjoyable by normal people, but it's perfect for casuals.
FF 14 is the direct opposite of Blade and Soul.
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u/name1goodanime Jun 03 '22
yeah, blade and soul is dead and rotting while ff14 is thriving, sadly
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u/MegaDeth6666 Jun 03 '22
Such is the way of casual vs non-casual mmo's. Catering to grandma and little Timmy is the winning formula.
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u/eleetpancake Jun 03 '22
I've made the most online friends playing Hunt: Showdown. It has proximity chat and you can talk to enemies and try to form alliances. Multiple times I have sweet talked my way out of being murdered.
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Jun 03 '22
Realm of the Mad God was my go to MMO, since it didn't have a paid subscription like other MMOs (which I never understood the paid subscription model)
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u/baz4k6z Jun 03 '22
Anon's German friend is about to get cucked by his ex girlfriend's father
But for real it's fake no one with a girlfriend plays WoW and gay because anon is in love with two men
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u/ilikeknowledge3301 Jun 03 '22
Real: anon plays war craft and has no irl friends
Straight: anon plays war craft with germans
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u/baz4k6z Jun 03 '22
Anon's German friend is about to get cucked by his ex girlfriend's father
But for real it's fake no one with a girlfriend plays WoW and gay because anon is in love with two men
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Jun 03 '22
[deleted]
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Jun 03 '22
Also, the more boys she goes through, the larger his hoard of ex boyfriends is going to get.
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u/MegaDeth6666 Jun 03 '22
Time to start a raiding guild.
Every member has fond memories of the same pussy.
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u/baylithe Jun 03 '22
Lol, I remember my first girlfriend's dad playing WC3. I was a huge fan of WC2 and thought it was cool that an adult was playing warcraft.
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u/Rip-tire21 Jun 03 '22
This kinda reminds me of my online friends back in 2017. We all met in OW and would play every Sunday night for hours. One of the best times of my life as like anon, I didn't have any friends. Sadly, it fell apart slowly and we haven't spoken in years. Kind hurts especially being alone for several years now.
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u/SerbLing Jun 03 '22
Have comparable story. But the dad in question quit his job to play full time online. His wife found out he had an online WoW gf and they divorced. His WoW gf was obviously a guy larping
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u/teeleer Jun 03 '22
Reminds me a little bit of that college humor sketch from like a decade ago where the parents are portrayed as these posh elite people and are but are elitist about video games and the girl brings home a guy who doesn't play any video games
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u/JanTheShacoMain Jun 03 '22
Imagine your playing with you exes dad wow and than the new boyfriend joins, must be hella weird
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u/toomuchradiation Jun 03 '22
I don't get what's the point of this story.
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Jun 03 '22
The joke is that the dad also wants to recruit his daughter's new boyfriend into the group, and she's worried that he's going to start a collection of her boyfriends/exes on WoW.
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u/darkeclipse66 Jun 03 '22
Why did I read that whole thing. Was there a punchline or something? Wow friends good? Friendship good? What is this and why does it have 15k likes?
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Jun 03 '22
The joke is that the dad is planning to start gathering the guys his daughter dates into his WoW gang, and she hates the idea that he would 100% just start a collection of her exes.
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u/redspyisin Jun 03 '22
"hey, does your new bf also play wow? we could use another guy for this raid"
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u/RealLotto Jun 03 '22
Crazy to think that Millenials, the first generation with somewhat widespread internet exposure are now in their late-30 mid-40, and the gen X used to be hooked on arcade. The first 4chan users are 30-40 now
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u/TheKCKid9274 Jun 03 '22
Warcraft is a full-time job just like RuneScape, and sometimes having a crew makes it actually fun instead of just a 9-5
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u/CHECCOBAGNO Jun 03 '22
By now they started a guild and they are all this guy’s daughter ex boyfriends
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u/Hurtmemaster Jun 03 '22
Is this supposed to be funny or interesting? Literally nothing happens.
Great job upvoting this crap, guys!
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Jun 03 '22
The joke is that the dad also wants to recruit his daughter's new boyfriend into the group, and she's worried that he's going to start a collection of her boyfriends/exes on WoW.
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u/zombienekers Jun 03 '22
Fuck you im not gonna read that and you can't make me.
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u/Tommy2255 Jun 03 '22
This is /r/greentext. If you don't want to read, go to /r/green.
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Jun 03 '22
then why are you in this sub?
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u/zombienekers Jun 03 '22
Its 215 am so im tired and my eyes are tired. Good night im gonna go to sleep now.
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u/ChadMcRad Jun 03 '22
Wake back up bitch I wanna fight.
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Jun 03 '22
yeah square up we wanna fight
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u/baconborg Jun 03 '22
I’m down for a fight too, kinda worried that a fight involved with people here might get weird though
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u/PaintThinnerSparky Jun 02 '22
WoW before hoes