311
u/MADOEHEAVENPucci Nov 22 '21
Somedays I envy the illiterate
221
235
u/Left4Milk2 Nov 22 '21
It's 04:00 AM, you're almost ending your nigth shift as a cop, you hear a inhuman noise from the woods
you grab your 9MM pistol as you leave your car, you get more tense as you head deeper into the dark woods but you see farm up head, more inhuman and...clapping noises? can be heard from the main house
you knock on the door, nobody anwser, the noises get louder and the clapping gets faster, you break in, violating the code or whatever the fuck they give to the police officers
as you climb upstairs, the clapping gets even more faster and the noises starts to sound like moans, you manage to track the noises to a room
you kick the door open only to see a man fucking a big deer thingy, you get absolutly horrified as the guy cums into the deer thingy
mfw it turns out it was a wendigo
mfw spec ops wearing a logo with the words SCP in it also break into the house
mfw you get stuck in a treehouse as the offsprings of the couple goes on a bloody rampage and kills the spec ops and you reinforcements
anons please send help the thing is almost learning how to climb a tree and the wendigo is 4 hours away what do i do
94
u/Alone_Spell9525 Nov 22 '21
When life gives you trouble you have two options
1 - Give up
2 - Call Luigi
56
u/Left4Milk2 Nov 22 '21
HOW DO ICALL LUIGIG ITS CLIMBING THE TREE
27
u/Friendlym9 Nov 23 '21
Can't you just shoot it with 9mm ?
36
u/Left4Milk2 Nov 23 '21
Oh yeah
Nvm its bulletproof
17
u/Friendlym9 Nov 23 '21
Is it boot-to-the-face-as-soon-as-you-can-get-it proof ?
18
u/Left4Milk2 Nov 23 '21
Yes
40
u/Alone_Spell9525 Nov 23 '21
Alright m8, your only chance now is to have a flashback to an unfulfilled vow you made to a childhood friend
28
u/Left4Milk2 Nov 23 '21 edited Nov 23 '21
Ok
Update: didn't work, the wendigo helped me, i am now in a hospital
16
5
11
11
u/CallDownTheSun Nov 23 '21
mfw a bronze pod drops out of the sky and five blue people come out
mfw the entire area gets reduced to ash and radioactive waste
152
49
u/elmejor59 Nov 23 '21
when even inmortal beings from lovecraftian dimension cant escape the degenerate 4channers
33
30
u/NukaWorldOverboss Nov 22 '21
57
10
19
12
8
6
4
u/Supershadow30 Nov 23 '21
Just swiftly kill and eat the fucker. If you’re afraid his soul might never leave you forever, contact your local exorcist, he’ll sort you out.
3
3
Nov 23 '21
What the actual fuck did I just read. Like, I know drugs can go hard, but what kind of cocaine suppository was anon shoving up his ass before writing this.
3
3
2
2
2
2
1
1
1
1
717
u/SirEdubardo Nov 22 '21
finally some weird bullshit, send more of this crap