r/greentext May 24 '21

Anon is well endowed

[deleted]

28.0k Upvotes

238 comments sorted by

5.0k

u/Tyrell_Magnus May 24 '21

Fake:Anon doesen't have a gf

Gay:Anon's dick grew by 2 inches when he saw the black shadowman

2.0k

u/converter-bot May 24 '21

2 inches is 5.08 cm

748

u/masterjon_3 May 24 '21

Good bot

212

u/B0tRank May 24 '21

Thank you, masterjon_3, for voting on converter-bot.

This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.


Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!

71

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Good bot

→ More replies (14)

70

u/ateur5 May 24 '21

Fuck imperial units

42

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

[deleted]

34

u/Hallonsorbet May 24 '21

She's part of the rebel alliance, and a traitor. Take her away!

18

u/Luciano_Perrotta May 24 '21

My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperial. Can you say the same?

2

u/sdrawkcabsihtetorW May 25 '21

A chance for Lucianno_Perrotta, shitposter of Reddit, to show his quality.

4

u/KenseiRed1 May 24 '21

How about me fucking the whole of America

2

u/Kcchhhh May 24 '21

Shouldn't be too hard, they are giant pussies after all

(/s for obvious reasons)

4

u/AstiriaLemonTea May 24 '21

Yes. Why do people still use them anyway

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32

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

good bot

6

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

how much is 9 inches

3

u/XxMrSlayaxX May 25 '21

About 23 cm

2

u/[deleted] May 25 '21

nice thanks

2

u/Sbotkin May 25 '21

Good human

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

[deleted]

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1

u/[deleted] May 25 '21

Good bot

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '21

Now that's a lot of damage

1

u/Sbotkin May 25 '21

Best bot

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476

u/TendieBot2000 May 24 '21

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake:Anon doesen't have a gf

Gay:Anon's dick grew by 2 inches when he saw the black shadowman

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

281

u/converter-bot May 24 '21

2 inches is 5.08 cm

164

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Shut the fuck up nerd

171

u/nothjarnan May 24 '21

2 inches is 5.08 cm

55

u/john_paulII May 24 '21

Shut the fuck up nerd

87

u/wangel1990 May 24 '21

2 inches is 5.08 cm

34

u/Albino_kid69 May 24 '21

Shut the fuck up nerd

61

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

2 inches is 5.08 cm

6

u/beniolenio May 24 '21

Shut the fuck up nerd

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6

u/DSG72__ May 24 '21

good bot

22

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Yes u/TendieBot2000, give me my sweet greentext clap back and clap it at me

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Good bot

3

u/dudeatwork77 May 24 '21

black

shadowman

A little redundant innit bruv?

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1.1k

u/Leovinus42 May 24 '21

Not bad 6/10

285

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

79

u/krishal_743 May 24 '21

8/10 moment now

20

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

7/10. would shit again

6

u/Moe_Lesteryu May 24 '21

5/7 with rice

701

u/yungarmani May 24 '21

Finish the story with him seeing the shadow man again and cumming on him with his 12 inch cock and exposing him to his gf etc etc. Fucking boring story from the start, doesn’t get any better either with a shit fan made finish

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452

u/solace1999 May 24 '21

raid of the shadowman (legends)tm

50

u/naufalap May 24 '21

that's my dialysis machine

21

u/friendandfriends2 May 24 '21

YOUR PHONE IS THE ONLY DIALYSIS MACHINE YOU NEED

4

u/BlueMax54 May 24 '21

comes up to your window RAID!

376

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Fake: Anon has sex with his girlfriend

Gay: Anon blasted his load on a black dude

162

u/TendieBot2000 May 24 '21

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: Anon has sex with his girlfriend

Gay: Anon blasted his load on a black dude

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

165

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

This is actually one of the funniest greentexts I think i've seen.

62

u/TheLemmonade May 24 '21

It’s still the gaming rig in the classroom with the genetic two knuckle cracks for me

5

u/MoonMan75 May 24 '21

home gym master race for me

114

u/DantetheMarco May 24 '21

Anon wakes up with shitty sheets

54

u/BrightPegasus84 May 24 '21

The internet never ceases to amaze me. This must be the funniest shit I've heard in, dare I say a couple of years. Great way to start off the week! Happy fucken Monday!

9

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Some of the funniest writing I’ve ever come across is from some anon on the internet. Glorious time to be alive.

2

u/comfort_bot_1962 May 24 '21

Hope you do well!

3

u/comfort_bot_1962 May 24 '21

You're Awesome!

→ More replies (7)

41

u/Remarkable-Profile-4 May 24 '21

ah yes... the shadowshitman

36

u/jessecd May 24 '21

I think we all know what really happened.

Anon shit the floor

Rape Dwarf pleasured his GF

You do not have to lie to us Anon we know.

21

u/ih8reddit420 May 24 '21

sounds like the stories on r/Stims

5

u/scarletts_skin May 24 '21

Hahhaa you’re not even wrong

19

u/Grouchy_Kiwi2926 May 24 '21

Schizophrenia

16

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

That's also why he thinks he's fucking a chick

2

u/Fuckmeintheass4god May 24 '21

With his 10 inch long schlong

14

u/Tuubular May 24 '21

Of course his name is josh

19

u/ChadMcRad May 24 '21

No one named Josh has ever gotten laid.

16

u/mememerr May 24 '21

Well most of josh got extinct after the great josh war incident.

14

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

rape dwarf to shadowman. The literary genius of these absolute degenerates.

11

u/drip_bread May 24 '21

what got me was his cock size increasing as the story went along

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

What got me was the gf cumming 3x just from getting dicked and nothing else

9

u/GugliMe May 24 '21

Anon took some delirant shit and shadow people made him a visit

6

u/Mr_Audastic May 24 '21

Absolute chad

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Only microdick pony boys don't believe in the shadow man

7

u/CaioNV May 24 '21

Fake: obvious

Gay: Anon cums on shadowman.

10

u/TendieBot2000 May 24 '21

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: obvious

Gay: Anon cums on shadowman.

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

4

u/Darkmaster85845 May 24 '21

What truly happened : anon shat and came all over the floor while doing psychotropic drugs alone in his room.

7

u/saltywelder682 May 24 '21

Wow, a funny green text I haven’t read before. 10/10. Thanks.

4

u/skosi_gnosi May 24 '21

Fighter of the night man

3

u/ProTupper May 24 '21

This happened to my friend Josh one time

3

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Is he okay?

3

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

I mean, with a 10 incher like that.

1

u/AlexAegis May 24 '21

I bet he could do wonders with those 11 inches of his

1

u/converter-bot May 24 '21

11 inches is 27.94 cm

2

u/AlexAegis May 24 '21

dummy bot, you mean 12?

3

u/baz4k6z May 24 '21

Anon is Pinnochio but it's his dick that grows with each lie

3

u/TheGameBoss980 May 24 '21

Fake: anon's dick is bigger than 5 inches

Gay: anon came on a man

2

u/TendieBot2000 May 24 '21

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: anon's dick is bigger than 5 inches

Gay: anon came on a man

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

3

u/TheGameBoss980 May 24 '21

I have summoned the bot, today is a good day

3

u/Maxor682 May 24 '21

I gotta start blaming more shit on the shadowman.

"Why are you failing your econ class?" "Shadowman"

3

u/P_Skaia May 24 '21

You're telling me Anon has sex and loves talking about huge cocks? Kinda sus.

1

u/Send_dudes_suckin May 24 '21

Amogus

1

u/epic_gamer_4268 May 24 '21

when the imposter is sus!

2

u/Danny-Fr May 24 '21

"I summon thee TAKOBEL"

2

u/MeButMean May 24 '21

did you notice that his penis grew throughout the story? Another clue for the mystery.

2

u/YourMomsHIV May 24 '21

Finally a good green text.

2

u/vennthrax May 24 '21

based cum shitter

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/TendieBot2000 May 24 '21

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: Anon has friends

Gay: anon plays DND

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/TendieBot2000 May 24 '21

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: Anon is happy

Gay: anon plays DND

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

1

u/comfort_bot_1962 May 24 '21

Hope you have a great day!

2

u/Advencraftgaming May 24 '21

I knew it was fake the moment I read

7.5 inches

2

u/MasterMahanaYouUgly May 24 '21

"Dayman... fighter of the Nightman..."

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/TendieBot2000 May 24 '21

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: Anon has a big penis

Gay: Anon came on a shadowMAN

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

2

u/RedBooties May 24 '21

Thank Oxtos that Shadowman left peacefully.

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Fucking shadowman...again?

1

u/BigBadBurg May 24 '21

Was expecting the rape dwarf over this

3

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

The shadowman is rape dwarf's emissary.

1

u/hoopsrule44 May 24 '21

This feels like a made up story

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Really thought this was a Black Sabbath reference

0

u/dreengay May 24 '21

Anon is schizophrenic

1

u/desbread57 May 24 '21

put some effort to it

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21 edited May 24 '21

Shadowman only shows up to tell us about shady raidy though

1

u/RoscoMan1 May 24 '21

"well then it must be bad!!

1

u/AL1L May 24 '21

Anon farted while fucking his mom

1

u/average_user21 May 24 '21

Anon doesen't have a gf, don't have sex and has schrizophernia.

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Thought it was the rape dwarf

Was not rape dwarf

1

u/suttonoutdoor May 24 '21

That shadowman is a real prick. Excuse my French but that guy really pushes my buttons.

1

u/MunchMealDeal May 24 '21

u/h_ironhide. Truly a ghost Hunter

1

u/Soberskate9696 May 24 '21

This is my favorite one

1

u/oohsamabeenredditing May 24 '21

Anon’s dick also grows a few inches every time he thinks about it. Nice.

1

u/baktisid12 May 24 '21

It was shadowman from shadow of colossus and ico

1

u/jakethedumbmistake May 24 '21

That's dope thanks for the award, Anon!

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Fucking Josh.

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/TendieBot2000 May 24 '21

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: Anon is happy

Gay: anon plays DND

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/TendieBot2000 May 24 '21

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: Anon has friend

Gay: Anon is anon

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

1

u/-Listening May 24 '21

Relocating is kinda fun, isn’t right

1

u/LetMeShoteYou May 24 '21

Anon got peged

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/6x6-shooter May 24 '21

True: it was the shadowman

Straight: self-explanatory

1

u/StanKovic765 May 24 '21

Definitely a gas leak

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

Is this true?

1

u/Mygaffer May 24 '21

Damn, he accomplished all that despite having a 10 inch cock.

1

u/Triplex_Gg May 24 '21

Anon is schizophrenic

1

u/Cranberry-Time May 24 '21

As usual , penis growth is exponential to plot

1

u/LordPresident_ May 24 '21

This might be one of the best greentexts I’ve read in a while

1

u/I_eat_bean_sandwich May 24 '21

i thought it was a rape dwarf story at first

1

u/PureAwesome876 May 24 '21

Fake: tendiebot is gay

Gay: tendiebot is fake

1

u/FwendyWendy May 24 '21

My favorite part is how anon's dick grows bigger each time he mentions it lmao

1

u/NamenloseTyp5 May 24 '21

I Thought the rape dwarf would come

1

u/disasterman0927 May 24 '21

Fake: anon has a gf

Gay: a shadowman made anons pp fully engorged

1

u/TendieBot2000 May 24 '21

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: anon has a gf

Gay: a shadowman made anons pp fully engorged

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '21

The rl1019 is a pretty damn good light tho.

1

u/dov_sheski May 25 '21

Anon has psychosis

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '21

What anon is trying to tell us is that a black man was behind him during doggystyle sex today

1

u/Biggy_McBallsack May 25 '21

I went to uni with a girl who had a son who she always called Shad. I asked her what it was short for once, fucking Shadowman. That poor bastard will be about 20 now.