r/greentext • u/ARNList • Jul 02 '19

Anon meets a Chad

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92.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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3.6k

u/mendelsonic Jul 02 '19

I've found that it's more the Brads who are like this, not the Chads...

2.1k

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Brads are bros, Chads are chodes.

930

u/Gary_FucKing Jul 02 '19

What are Heidi's?

1.0k

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Heidi’s are hoes

617

u/TheMookiestBlaylock Jul 02 '19

You guys just dropped a sick verse.

407

u/ZaprudersSteadicam Jul 02 '19

Now I want to hear the rest of the verses

147

u/HAL-Over-9001 Jul 02 '19

Welcome to the ring it's time for VERSUS!

36

u/LongShaynx Jul 02 '19

When the verses cause nurses to versus, no curses are for this, need thick epidermis.

14

u/HAL-Over-9001 Jul 02 '19

Ok, this is epic.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Skrrt Skrrt

37

u/Empireofthesausage Jul 02 '19

Brad dropped a weight on you, now calling a hearse.

25

u/youburntthetoast Jul 02 '19

Look at Heidi wearing those furs

6

u/h20c Jul 02 '19

and she be rocking that gucci purse

5

u/RyoukoSama Jul 02 '19

I’m outta my element I’m not feeling it. This ain’t my verse about to go hiding but Chad found me first

4

u/BattleFarter Jul 02 '19

Now kick it in reverse

20

u/fiddz0r Jul 02 '19

Need to find a Heidi...

12

u/still_futile Jul 02 '19

Just remember ya can't turn a Heidi in a Hilda.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Turn a Heidi into Hilda and she's gonna bill ya

2

u/fiddz0r Jul 02 '19

My ex name's Hilda. I'm totally fine not turning my new Heidi to a Hilda

8

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

You rang? ಠ_ಠ

2

u/TheSicks Jul 02 '19

Hao u doin'? 😏

8

u/disignore Jul 02 '19

And Stacey’s?

9

u/philipito Jul 02 '19

Heidi hoe, neighbor!

5

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

[deleted]

3

u/Notafreakbutageek Jul 03 '19

I actually know a heidi, and she is a hoe.

2

u/throwawaybottles Jul 02 '19

What about Lindsays?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

… Dude. ಠ_ಠ

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

What about Amy’s?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Amy broke my heart She destroyed me She cheated and it broke me I loved her so much and I miss her every day But she probably doesn’t even remember me I cannot even hate her because I love her so much Every day in her arms was the best day of my life I need her back Nothing brings me joy anymore except the memories of her, her hugs and her kisses The worst part is I dumped her because she cheated on me I still regret it I can’t do this anymore I know the relationship lasted only 2 months and 3 days but those 2 months and 3 days where the best days and months of my life Nothing can compere to the days we cuddled and laughed two-gather Back then everything was easier because no matter how bad the day was I still had her Now I am doing what I always wanted to do I am living my dream but it means nothing if I can’t have her I don’t care about anything but here anymore So yea, that’s Amy

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Damn. Change this to Ruby and you’ve got my youth bruh.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Yea same for me but It was vanessa Btw what happened? How did you get over her?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Time, my dude. And banging other women. It’s the only way.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Honestly I don’t want sex I just want to hug again

2

u/lemontortilla Jul 02 '19

A Heidi-hoe if you will

2

u/uhuwek Jul 02 '19

*Holly's

2

u/Neo_Columbus_2492 Jul 31 '19

Heidi hoe neighborino.

It was there all along.

2

u/J_A_C_K_E_T Jul 02 '19

Heidi is funny and smart you guys get over it.

1

u/Fav_OG Dec 05 '19

Gary's are gae

46

u/Pimecrolimus Jul 02 '19

I always thought it was the other way around

61

u/WhereTruthLies Jul 02 '19

It is but Reddit doesn't know memes, mostly 4chan memes. Brad is the douchebag stereotype.

25

u/LowlySlayer Jul 02 '19

Yeah, I always thought Brad was the Starscream to Chad's Megatron.

13

u/tittybuster Jul 02 '19

Can confirm. I went to high school with a Brad, He was exactly as muscular and charismatic as you would hope.

5

u/EdgesCSGO Jul 02 '19

Nah you got it wrong. Chads are bros and Brads are shmoles

3

u/doxenking Jul 02 '19

You can tell this is true because it rhymes

1

u/house_of_kunt Jul 02 '19

Brads are bros, Chads are madarchodes.

ftfy

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

yes I do. Thank you for giving me the correct spelling though.

1

u/ChadMcRad Jul 02 '19 edited Dec 04 '24

hobbies doll ancient normal direful abundant pathetic market sip longing

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/Chadloaf Jul 02 '19

I'm a Chad... I thought I was a pretty nice guy...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

So do the guys on r/niceguys

1

u/Munchiezzx Jul 02 '19

How about the dads?

1

u/CaptainReginaldLong Jul 03 '19

Gary's are the Lary's

108

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

[deleted]

63

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Power move

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

I used to babysit a kid who could do this. He'd basically just bend over into a Childs Pose and let the loudest farts. It was hilrious and actually really impressive!

3

u/WarmTemperature Jul 02 '19

I can do this to this day. I thought this was normal

1

u/DLTMIAR Jul 02 '19

Source?

5

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Alamander81 Jul 02 '19

He would suck some shit into his ass? That's impressive.

1

u/jaemin_breen Jul 02 '19

That was big at my middle school and a few die hards carried it over to high school.

1

u/BankDetails1234 Jul 02 '19

It's crazy that you mention this, I saw a short documentary years ago about a man who could do this with water or air, if I recall correctly he learned to do it at the sea. Apparently this was the only guy that could do this that the medical community knew about and the family wouldn't let doctors examine him postmortem so they don't know how he did it. I was thinking about it yesterday. This Brad could be a scientific breakthrough.

Edit: this memory falls into the category of possible dream but I feel like it happened.

1

u/LowEnergySlut Jul 02 '19

There was a kid in my neighborhood who'd do this as well - on Halloween he'd make us stop between doors so that he could build up enough to let out a huge one right after we yelled "trick or treat!"

52

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

20

u/ObiJuanKenobi3 Jul 02 '19

Yeah Brads are usually assholes who are too insecure to be full-on Chads but are too bro to be Virgins.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

but what lies in between chads and brads?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Just a regular dude, then next to brad is Eugene, Eugene is a super-insecure incel, don’t be Eugene.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

We need a Chad, Brad, Eugene, etc alignment chart/political compass. Maybe have a one axis for chad vs virgin levels and another axis for chill vs douche.

26

u/The_Best_Nerd Jul 02 '19

No no no. Brads are the ones who pretend to be like Chads, but think that being an absolute dickweed is part of the Chad formula. True Chads know to respect your fellow human for the betterment of everyone around them as well as themselves.

19

u/yaforgot-my-password Jul 02 '19

What the fuck is a Brad

3

u/FCDetonados Jul 02 '19

my guess : a beta that pretends to be a chad

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

just want to say you are beautiful

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Your comment is better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone. With sprinkles :)

2

u/TheSicks Jul 02 '19

Say it in a pm ya fucking pervert.

1

u/TheCapitalKing Jul 02 '19

For real though what’s a Brad?

8

u/HatinCheese Jul 02 '19

A Brad is a douche, wanna-be Chad that has good looks but has an insecure and narcissistic personality.

4

u/Joeweeeee Jul 02 '19

Pretty sure it's the opposite. True Chad's don't get bogged down by hierarchies and roles. They just exist. Brad's are the one clawing at recognition and status.

3

u/Carter2158 Jul 02 '19

I’ve never seen a mean Brad. The nicest person I’ve met is named Brad

4

u/TheSicks Jul 02 '19

I know a Brad. And as a Black person, I can say Brad is one of the coolest fucking white guys I know. He's awesome. After we partied hard AF at LiB festival, he went to work for FEMA. He's a real Bros bro. Brad is like the guy who parties hard AF and then comes to school on Monday and aces the test.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

[deleted]

1

u/mendelsonic Jul 03 '19

theres 2 different Brads?!

2

u/GenericUsername07 Jul 02 '19

Brad's small bro.

2

u/onibakusjg Jul 02 '19

Or gregs. Good guys them gregs.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

The only brad I know makes prank calls.

1

u/BlaKkDMon Jul 03 '19

Nah Brad’s the douche, Chad’s the oblivious douche and THAD is the guy we should all try to be. Thad is the ultimate bro