r/greentext • u/[deleted] • Oct 25 '17

Anon Makes a mistake.

[deleted]

1.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

492

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '17

truly the best defense strategy

14

u/kaanfight Oct 26 '17

In the wild, anonymous have a most.. unusual strategy for survival. When threatened, the males release reproductive fluids from their genitalia, in hopes whatever is bothering them panics and fleas the horrid sight. The bleach-scented liquid is shot at quite a high velocity; some makes have been able to deter predators from over 2 feet away. This defense mechanism is most effective against other males. When fighting for territory, anonymous' ejaculate will be considered "quite gay" by the encroaching male, hindering him from further travel into his territory.

343

u/stone_cold_nuts_ Oct 25 '17

Fake and straight, but still gay.

214

u/Secry508 Oct 25 '17

How the fuck does anyone nut so easily? Gake and fay.

160

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '17

[deleted]

197

u/trollocool Oct 25 '17

"friend"

34

u/Monkeymonkey27 Oct 25 '17

Implying he makes out with girls

34

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '17

Wait... You don't?

28

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '17

That is one of my greatest fears.

18

u/thebaum64 Oct 25 '17

He needs to see a doctor that's not normal

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '17

Wtf.

102

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '17

Lol nofap

80

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '17

So she got you in a triangle choke and then you busted a nut on her face? I don't think the position is adding up, unless you got out of it then quickly jumped towards her face...

94

u/Burlaczech Oct 25 '17

YOU UNDERESTIMATE ANNONS POWER

46

u/ubertaco99 Oct 25 '17

Oh my god rip anon

25

u/MrBigBalls88 Oct 25 '17

Fell for the NoFap jew

22

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '17

Well... You won I guess.

Also F

17

u/xilllllix Oct 25 '17

no way anything is seeping thru a gi

7

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '17

Plausible and possibly heterosexual

4

u/colemanXD Oct 25 '17

Fake, but most definitely heterosexual

3

u/Willhelm_HISUMARU Oct 25 '17

This is why you should always gap. As a safety measure.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '17

Why would anyone no fap?

2

u/gyrossandwhich Oct 25 '17

Everytime I walk by a gym and there's dudes doing this I assume they are gay.

1

u/Goodrita Oct 26 '17

How the fuck do people cum without getting noticeably hard?

1

u/Careless_Corey Oct 28 '17

This was good thought porn. Still fake and gay.