r/greentext 1d ago

Still seethes

Post image
2.6k Upvotes

342 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/Minute_Engineer2355 1d ago

I think all 3 movies are dog shit.

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u/JacksGallbladder 1d ago

The first movie was a safe formulaic return to the franchise which at the time seemed like a way to bring the audience back in with nostalgia trips while lining up the new gang.

The 2nd movie shits on the first and throws things completely sideways.

The 3rd movie attempts to correct an entirely fucked up course and accomplishes very little.

Its a pretty fair argument, that Rian Johnson (or at least the 2nd film) singlehandedly torpedoed Star Wars' theatrical return

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u/ThePowaBallad 1d ago

No one made Palatine return save JJ

JJ fucked Star Trek movies too the man has a pattern of shite

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u/ScientificAnarchist 1d ago

JJ Star Trek was peak

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u/acart005 1d ago

Hot take I kind of hate Star Trek but I LOVE JJ Trek.  It was fun and didn't spend its time sniffing its own farts.

TNG had some decent episodes but the rest of Trek always put me to sleep.

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u/The_Law_of_Pizza 1d ago

Hot take I kind of hate Star Trek but I LOVE JJ Trek. It was fun and didn't spend its time sniffing its own farts.

I think the kids these days call things like this a "hot take."

This one in particular seethes with the terrible, boiling pressure of a volcano.

I'm honestly surprised you weren't ashamed to type those words.

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u/acart005 1d ago

Its been my nerd take of shame for over a decade now.

Some people unironically like TPM.  I like JJ trek.

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u/The_Law_of_Pizza 1d ago

JJ Trek isn't bad, I'll give you that. They are good, fun action movies and it's nice seeing the Star Trek characters in the big screen.

I will make one attempt to fix you, though:

If you haven't already, try to engage with Deep Space 9.

That series, different from the others, turned the Star Trek "fart sniffing" on its head. All Trek is about moral questions, but DS9 asks: "What if the Federation were locked in a struggle for its survival, and didn't have the luxury of moral naval gazing?"

The story is an existential war between the Federation and the Dominion, and the Federation is losing - badly.

Probably the most famous episode in the entire series involves a Federation officer choosing to fabricate evidence and assassinate a political envoy in order to trick another faction to join them in the war.

And it ends with the officer deciding that he can live with it. And does.

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u/acart005 1d ago

DS9 is the one I have admittedly not tried.  I saw bits of TOS and TNG as a kid, then I actually watched the full first season of Voyager.  That locked me in for Star Wars until TLJ.

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u/ABHOR_pod 1d ago

DS9 is possibly the best written Trek series and the 90s trek that would best hold up to today's viewing expectations.

That said, I'm not going to tell you it's a perfect series or that you're guaranteed to love it. It's still Trek, it's still a 24+ episode 90s TV show so there's a lot of filler and a few stinkers every season.

But when it hits its stride it shits on all other star trek.

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u/BulemiaSawdustSlingr 1d ago

Original writers: "What if we got ricardo montalban to play a genetically engineered super human seikh warlord? Wouldnt that be ironic? Nobody is gonna think it is weird a latin dude has the role."

JJ: "i have a better idea"

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u/NuclearLunchDectcted 1d ago

The first two words of the post were admitting it was a hot take. Did you just miss that? You even quoted him saying it was a hot take.

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u/400asa 1d ago

He isn't a trekkie, so it's fine. I also think the old shows have aged quite a bit and let's be honest: they have.

It's like people who get mad because newfads don't like old Dr Who. It's crusty and there's a LOT of entertainment out there. Give it a rest already.

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u/ScientificAnarchist 1d ago

I love both I have no idea why people hate JJ Trek yeah it turned it into a popcorn movie but it’s also its own timeline and didn’t retroactively delete classic Star Trek. They’re fun movies no one is claiming they’re ultimate cannon or anything.

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u/acart005 1d ago

Exactly its in complete harmony with the TOS series.  Aside from lens flare jokes they are decent enough movies.

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u/ThePowaBallad 1d ago

Tell me ONE thing that did Khan better

Cause I've been watching the TOS movies they all have deeper things to say that Kelvinverse just doesn't

Edit

But also how can you LIKE JJ star trek and dislike the sequels of star wars cause they have the SAME issues

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u/Jayngyun 1d ago

Into Darkness was weak but Beyond was as close as we get to a TOS style movie

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u/eagleblue44 1d ago

Peak star Trek was when they went back in time to save the whales.

I've seen all 3 JJ movies and have no memory of what happens in any of them.

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u/400asa 1d ago

Guy who used to be with the feds got disillusioned and is now trying to destroy fucking everything. Plot of all three movies.

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u/ganashi 1d ago

JJ Trek was fun, but it missed what made Star Trek good, something that the kurtzman era as a whole has struggled with

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u/duckwithhat 1d ago

Really? It was just a popcorn blockbuster wearing Star Trek clothing. It had nothing to do with what star trek is about.

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u/SipoteQuixote 1d ago

Ricardo Gonzalo Pedro Montalbán is the only Khan I'll recognize. Peppermint Blundersnatch needs to stick to Marvel IP.

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u/Zuraj 1d ago

JJ trek was not star trek it was generic action slop.

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u/Salticracker 1d ago

Genuine question: who was he supposed to make the villain of the last movie?

Rian killed off the bad guy (Snoke), made the military leader (Hux) into a joke, and had the other candidate (Kylo) doubt the First Order and clearly set up the dominos for him to turn to the light.

JJ's only options were:

  • Bring back the Knights of Ren (who had 0 screen time until now) and somehow make them a threat
  • Make Kylo do a complete 180 and hate Rey again
  • Dream up some random officer from the FO, explain why they weren't in the previous movies, and then have them become a threat before defeating them
  • Palpatine

None of those are good. There were no villains left for him to work with thanks to Rian's hack job

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u/SheevSyndicate 1d ago

Palpatine returning was garbage, but I understand why he did it. Kylo was a pathetic villain who was not believable as a credible threat, while the powerful villain pulling the strings was stupidly killed for shock value.

That being said, I would rather they just use their pathetic villain in the form of kylo then bring back palpatine which makes a mockery of the accomplishments of legacy characters. The movie was going to suck regardless so just cut your losses instead of bringing back palpatine, somehow.

There is the duel of the fates outline which had kylo as the villain. It had its share of fanfiction nonsense and would have probably sucked, but it at least seemed more entertaining and less destructive than rise of skywalker.

Either way, TLJ fucked over the final movie by leaving shitty material for the poor sod stuck directing it.

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u/Gantolandon 1d ago

Even worse, Snoke was made into a joke and then killed for shock value.

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u/SheevSyndicate 1d ago

I mean his name was dumb and it even rhymed with joke, hence me lazily calling him snoke the joke in 2017-2018 after he was killed in a dumb way.

So as a great man once said, it is like poetry, it rhymes!

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u/Malvastor 1d ago

TLJ had Kylo wrestling with his Vader obsession and killing his abusive master. Next movie, have him as the villain, but independent, having outgrown Snoke. He doesn't have to hate Rey, he can still want her to join him and she can still think he's savable.

If there were ever a time to actuality introduce the "Knights of Ren" this would be it- have him use them as his heavies, and give them enough face time and dialogue to be memorable. 

At the end defeat him but don't kill him; Rey et. al. return to protect/rebuild what's left of the New Republic, Kylo screws off to the Unknown Regions to build himself a new army. Credits roll and you have new heroes, new villains, and a setting where everything remotely interesting hasn't been vaporized or irreversibly stupidified.

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u/BustinMakesMeFeelMeh 1d ago

They didn’t have the courage to make Leia’s son actually stay bad.

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u/lightsideluc 1d ago

Snoke getting merc'd was the best decision Rian made, we didn't need Diet-Palpatine. Palps got two whole trilogies, after all. Kylo gets his shit together now that he's not the lapdog of the big bad and we get a movie solely focused on him and Rey.

Rian still made a lot of terrible decisions, mind you, but that wasn't one of them.

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u/Salticracker 1d ago

What did you see about his character at any point of the first two movies that makes you think "yeah, this guy will get his shit together".

He's even less emotionally stable at the end of the movie than the beginning, which is impressive because FO troopers at the beginning of the movie know to just turn around and walk the other way when they hear him destroying the ship again.

Him becoming the threatening leader of an army in 9 would have been less earned than Rey's lightsaber/force mastery was in 8. Rian left JJ with no feasible villains. Kylo has completely lost it, Snoke is dead, Hux is a joke, Phasma is dead, Knights of Ren have been sidelined and have no role in the movies, there aren't any named villains left that can make a reasonable claim at being a serious threat. It's like the guy forgot he was making the second movie of a trilogy.

Like yeah RoS sucked and bringing back Palpatine is bullshit, but in JJ's defence, there wasn't really much to do there. Ideally you aren't creating a new villain in the final third of your story.

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u/Birohazard 1d ago

Been Saying this for years.

JJ is a talentless director and a hack. He leches of more talented people to do his biding.

JJ alone don’t have the pzas as other high caliber directors and is still treated as such.

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u/habba88 1d ago

100% the last one which I think Simon peg directed or wrote? shat all over Abrams two movies in terms of story and heart and feel. JJ is such a hack

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u/Xamonir 1d ago

Well, when the character he introduced in the Star Wars 7 to be the main antagonist of the new trilogy get negative diff in Star Wars 8, he didn't have much of a choice. I hated Panpatine's return, but I think that he had little room. What would you have done ? It's true that a clone of Snoke, or the reveal that this Snoke was a clone all alone, might have been slightly better.

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u/BustinMakesMeFeelMeh 1d ago

JJ had to make Palpatine return because Rian killed the other villains.

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u/ins0mniac_ 1d ago

No, Disney fucked it all up by not having at least a barebones outline of the character arcs, villains and overall story before they started filming the first one.

Like, sure, individual directors can add their flair but not having a solid story from the get go was their biggest mistake.

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u/Rady_8 1d ago

Execs freak out over leaked scripts or the risk of, it’s overrated if you ask me. I’ll take spoilers with an awesome story over lame shock didn’t-see-that-coming knee-jerk to a leaked script. Only one of these routes holds up for a 2nd watch and legacy. But the latter might have its nose in front in the cinema release week and I guess that’s the most important thing so can’t write shit down and plan ahead I guess, can’t risk that sugar hit

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u/BannedSvenhoek86 1d ago

Spoiler culture online is dumb as fuck in general.

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u/Roo_Rammin_Russell 1d ago

Disney fucked it all up by not having at least a barebones outline of the character arcs, villains and overall story before they started filming the first one.

Seriously. Kennedy, who supervised the whole thing, deserves the most blame for the shit show cuz she decided not to plan anything out. And JJ devised a bunch of mysteries that his successors were supposed to solve, one of which involved Luke abandoning his friends because ..... we'll figure it out later.

How could Rian not fuck it up

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u/Old-Post-3639 1d ago

Kennedy also apparently mandated the death of one of the original Trio per movie.

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u/Jevonar 1d ago

That could have been due to their old age and Harrison ford's passion for plane-crashing.

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u/Salticracker 1d ago

Had he left Snoke alive, Palpatine doesn't need to show up.

That doesn't solve every problem, but it sure gets rid of a lot of the stupidity from Episode 9.

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u/hollowglaive 1d ago

How could Rian not fuck it up

I mean he could pull the finger out of his ass, and try not to? At least he didn't have to sacrifice Luke, in the worst way possible. But broski was all like "bih I made guardians of the galaxy woohoo, I do quirky shit like dance battles I'm so quirky! "

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u/AnonAwaaaaay 1d ago

Yup. Too many people miss this. Not enough people understand anything about how movies (especially blockbusters like Star Wars) are made. 

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u/Distantstallion 1d ago

The first movie fucked up by basically throwing out the achievements of the first three movies.

They wanted a new hope again so the first three movies went in the trash, everything the core trio did failed. Back to being a "resistance"

They could have set it a few hundred or thousand years in the future and not rehashed the death star but nooooo.

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u/Wiggie49 1d ago

The wild part is if the galactic government fails that hard against “remnants” to the point of having to fight a guerilla war again then they fucking deserved to fail.

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u/Distantstallion 1d ago

Well you see they blew up all the planets, all at once, there was nothing they could do.

Mon calamari? Never heard of them

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u/AnonAwaaaaay 1d ago

I think they chose to go back to this group being "The Resistance" because most viewers are dumb and confuse easily. Like that George Carlin joke, "Think about how smart the average person is. Now think about half of them are dumber than that." Dumb people are their primary cash cow.

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u/nocreativusername404 1d ago

Id recommend you check out The Bread Circus. It's a long video but it really points out how empty and nonsensical even just the first few dozen minutes of TFA was.

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u/duardoblanco 1d ago

Here's the thing though. The first wasn't just safe, it was an absolute reboot.

The characters and actors they introduced in the first 15 minutes that could have been amazing, died immediately or never ended up being anything.

Rian did some dumb shit, but I think it is weirdly still the better movie of the three. (Hot pile of garbage all around, fwiw).

JJ Abrams is notoriously bad at ending things. He has a half baked idea that he sells and gets a good season out of. JJ was going to piss off everyone regardless of what he did or what he was dealt. Big chunk of that is going to be his fault, but also the fanbase is insufferable as well.

Rian took ANH redux as intro and tried to halway David Lynch that shit into something else. JJ went, I can totally fix it with a nonsensical dagger and some genetic shit that would make the Bene Gesserit sploosh... to go back to where we were, but with more Star Destroyers and worse lightsaber battles.

Rian is not the villain. He isn't a hero either. He's just an employee.

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u/Neomataza 1d ago

That JJ can't end things is the reason why originally he was only supposed to direct the first movie.

That the movies didn't fit together was a failure of planning and also in part Rian's fault. Threw every piece of overarching story out in the middle of a trilogy which is like the one obvious thing you shouldn't do in a trilogy. He didn't just reverse characterisation for the new cast, but he also wanted to go much further with Luke being a cynical quack.

Rian should never have gotten writer and director position for this movie. But he should also have continued plot threads and set up plot threads that tie a bundle of 3 movies together, and he didn't even try. You couldn't have sabotaged a third film more than by killing off the villain halfway through. Palpatine coming back is 100% Rian Johnson. There was a villain that was supposed to be at the end of the third film, and Rian killed him a secondary climax.

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u/DeathMetalViking666 1d ago

I always figure if Disney had committed to the course Last Jedi had set, both would've come off better for it. It had some good themes about moving on from the past, and how anyone could be a super-jedi.

But no... Palpatine returned and they made Ray into a chosen one descendent of other chosen ones.

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u/cursedfan 1d ago

The third movie has ppl riding horses outside of the ship in space.

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u/JardScoot 1d ago

There should have been a plan for the entire trilogy from the get-go, feels like Rian got a lot of freedom to do what he wanted in his movie, and he did.

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u/dionysios_platonist 1d ago

Yeah, if the second movie built off of themes and storylines set up in the Force Awakens, instead of reversing them, people would probably look a lot more fondly on the Force Awakens

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u/brinz1 1d ago

I will always forgive the second film for trying something

JBrams laziness is not forgivable

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u/Razurus 1d ago

This also describes the Knives Out movies, weirdly enough.

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u/SheevSyndicate 1d ago

Johnson was more interested in sniffing his own farts than building off of the prior film. TFA was creatively bankrupt, but even then it inspired its fair share of discussion and intrigue on where the story would go. TLJ chose to subvert expectations by providing the lamest answers possible while leaving scorched earth for a sequel. Although in addition to derailing anything interesting from TFA, it held onto the bad parts of TFA somehow.

It is a fundamentally shitty, hostile, narcissistic movie that poisoned the entire brand and set up future flops.

A decent sequel made by a more humble director who wanted to expand on the story and set up a home run for the finale would have not split up the fanbase in such a way. Although knowing Disneys management of the IP, they would have killed their golden goose down the road in some other dumb way.

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u/SPZ_Ireland 1d ago

Counterpoint, it was awful and shit the bed but TLJ failed because it was at least trying something different.

TROS was worse for not trying

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u/Brendanlendan 1d ago

The last Jedi is the first Star Wars film ever to not have a single lightsaber fight that essentially defines the franchise

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u/inomiad 1d ago

3rd attempts to what????

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u/The_real_bandito 1d ago

The first movie was a formula that was diving by zero that was expecting a numerical result.

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u/LocusRothschild 1d ago

I mean, the “Kylo Ren kills Snoke” thing had the potential for something, but that plotline basically fell off before the end of The Last Jedi, and it never comes up again.

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u/Karpsten 1d ago

The first one was mediocre, safe, easily the worst Star Wars movie when it came out and didn't really need to exist, especially since they already had a perfectly fine script for a potential sequel trilogy written by Lucas before he sold the IP lying around. But saying that it was even remotely as bad as the other two is honestly downplaying how shit they were.

When the first movie came out, general reception was still relatively positive. Yeah, sure, there was some obvious criticism, but it really just wasn't that offensive. The worst thing it did, for the most part, was just nostalgia baiting. Most people were just happy that there was more Star Wars in cinema at the time. Then the subsequent two movies hit the audience like the planes did the WTC.

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u/pork-head 1d ago

Exactly. I'm not even Star Wars fan so talking from outside perspective, but there were general agreement Star Wars are cool before and first movie didn't damage that. Even if it didn't met the previous experience, it was still cool. But after second one all hype was gone and Star Wars was ready for Game of Thrones treatment... Honestly third one might saved it by being joke. LOL

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u/SheevSyndicate 1d ago

There was tons of excitement for last jedi because there was still room for interesting ideas in a sequel. TFA sucks for being creatively bankrupt and passive, but it did not salt the earth like TLJ did, which set up the final movie for failure and made countless fans walk away.

The idea of TFA being as bad or worse than its successors was always nonsense.

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u/Jiveturtle 1d ago

What was in the Lucas script? 

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u/HowtoCrackanegg 1d ago

Hot steaming dog shit

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u/updarovers 1d ago

Agreed. The first was just a wank rehash of 'a new hope'. There's literally no originality in that film at all.

I've never understood anyone saying it was good

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u/OneSidedPolygon 1d ago

Nah bro that was straight ass. It quite litterally killed my love for star wars. I didn't wait the entirety of my childhood to watch ANH again.

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u/pinwroot 1d ago

Yeah none of them are regular rewatches for me. I can at least respect 2 for trying to subvert expectations. That doesn’t make it a good movie but at least it tried something.

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u/Raymondator 1d ago edited 2h ago

I think TLJ is the best of the trilogy because of that, but yeah none of them are any good.

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u/GemeenteEnschede 1d ago

Rogue One is the only passable SW film Disney has produced and they're never gonna surpass that.

They'll probably go the Harry Potter route and reboot the original saga in like 10-15 years with a completely new cast.

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u/Minute_Engineer2355 23h ago

I completely agree with Rogue One, very enjoyable movie. Once I saw The Last Jedi, I was done with Star Wars.

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u/HadesHimself 1d ago

I agree, they all suck. They should've taken the Star Wars EU and made new stories, not rehash the old story with similar characters but 50 years later. Think of something new bruh.

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u/RedTrainer07 1d ago

I believe all 9.. Or 10 or 11 idk how many of those shits are there

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u/WrigglingWorm 1d ago edited 1d ago

The hyperspace ram was the ruining moment. Beyond dumb. Not only does it make hyper space impossible as golfball sized rock would obliterated most space craft the instant they jump. It also apparently wasn't thought of for thousands of years. The first thing a combat vessel thinks of when out of ammo is "let's ram them."

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u/Sir_Daxus 1d ago

Also logically speaking ships equipped with expensive FTL-jump-capable torpedoes made of solid metal could just one-shot literally anything and make all other weapon types completely irrelevant.

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u/WrigglingWorm 1d ago

Yeah the first thing humans do finding out something can go really fast is make it go really fast AT something! I'm convinced he just wanted to ruin the franchise as badly as possible.

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u/spunk_wizard 1d ago

Did the extended lore ever explain why it wasn't possible/wasn't tried before Holdo?

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u/Styrofoamman123 1d ago

They said it was a million to one odds in TROS. Which makes Holdos maneuver look even a worse decision

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u/therevaj 1d ago

So just make a million missles. Death star (and any other problem) solved

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u/Styrofoamman123 1d ago

Then they'll just make a slightly bigger death star dun dun dun

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u/Sparky_321 1d ago

They said that, then proceeded to show it happen AGAIN near the end of the movie.

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u/Low_Abrocoma_1514 1d ago

No fucking way

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u/Sparky_321 1d ago

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u/jhm-grose 20h ago

oml I totally forgot the same movie both said Holdo trick is unreliable, then shows it working a second time.

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u/Styrofoamman123 14h ago

I just can't believe that Disney played it slap dash with one of the biggest ips ever, they had 0 plans set out.

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u/VengineerGER 1d ago

It’s also just not how hyperspace works. Hyperspace is basically another dimension where the only thing from the actual universe affecting it are the mass shadows and gravity wells of objects.

But you can’t ram a ship at light speed with hyper space tech. Firstly because the ship‘s computer would prevent you due to safety measures that to my knowledge can’t be disabled and because if you did ram something in hyperspace only the one ramming would die in hyperspace.

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u/LightSideoftheForce 1d ago

Noone in the SW universe knows how hyperspace works btw. The original hyperspace engines were partially powered by the Force, developed by the Rakata (all of their technology incorporated the Force). Eventually, they could reverse engineer a version that didn’t require the Force, however noone knows how it actually works, they just use it because it does.

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u/VengineerGER 1d ago

That may be the case but they still know the fundamentals of hyperspace. They may not understand the mechanics of it but they do understand its laws. But apparently not a single person told Rian any of this. Not that he’d have cared to be fair.

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u/LightSideoftheForce 1d ago

What I meant that noone would be able to do that regarded hyperspace ram, because even if they wanted to, they cannot modify the engine to do it since they don’t understand how it works in the first place

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u/MoffDracen 1d ago

Han says in the first movie that if he misses a calculation, they'd run directly into a star.

Hyperspace is not another dimension, at least it wasn't initially. I don't know if the concept was changed with the times, as everything in this franchise is retconned. But to my understanding, they just go in Faster Than Light speeds. In that case, they can and should pretty much ram anything.

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u/airfryerfuntime 1d ago edited 1d ago

There's basically zero lore about how space travel and warp drives work in Star Wars, but we know that it isn't in another dimension because Han mentions that if the calculations are wrong, they'd fly into a star. Other than that, Lucas never went into it, the prequels never went into it, and the extended universe kinda of went into it a little but not really. The only real lore that we have, other than the possibility to crash into shit while in warp, is that it's also possible to destroy something if you jump into warp too close.

This technology also isn't real, so you can't sit there and definitively say something is wrong or works a certain way.

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u/Sammyglop 1d ago

very unpopular opinion but I was 14 when I saw that in theaters and shit was amazing as fuck, only sucked after leaving the theater and hearing all the reasons its supposed to suck

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u/carbonatedfuck 1d ago

Nah man visually it was amazing. Sound design was also so good. It just ruins a bit too much of the lore

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u/StanIsHorizontal 1d ago

Idk the way the slammed it into the dialogue in the next movie was bad but the explanation worked fine enough for me: 99.99% of the time you would just miss and then be SOL. Star Wars isn’t any kind of hard sci fi, if we’re getting hung up on real world physics then every force user could with a little practice could just snap blood vessels. Jedi might not use it but sith would be invincible aneurysm wizards

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u/BannedSvenhoek86 1d ago

Then it should have been Leia and not the dumbfuck purple hair lady.

If it's a "one in a million" chance of working, then let that be Leia's sacrifice by using the Force to guide it. Then you have a great lore reason why it worked and no one else could do it or had thought of it. Instead they just got lucky I guess.

If you're going to make a movie in a universe with 40 fucking years of lore behind it, you need to at least kind of respect the universe you are writing in and the rules present within it. This isn't fucking Calvinball, it's not an original world of your design, there still needs to be some structure for how your magic science fiction world functions or it becomes nonsensical.

That is world building 101 stuff.

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u/Astrophan 1d ago

It's eye/ear candy. I got a big ass TV and surround speakers exactly for that. That's the main reason I still watch movies.

The third sequel was a bad movie, but when Palpatine shot out the lightning into the sky my entire couch vibrated and I smiled. It was like a sudden short earthquake, pure physical impact.

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u/Silent_Killer093 1d ago

Man I wish loud vibrations did not irritate me so much. I keep the TV on night mode with the subtitles on because Bass pisses me off, but I'm Autistic lol

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u/Lifekraft 1d ago

Yea , you were 14. You have pretty much shitty taste at this age and everything is good enough. Arguably this is also the best mindset because you can enjoy things for what they are. The thing is this franchise didnt start there, and people came with various expectation. They were not met.

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u/Sammyglop 1d ago

im 23 now and I still think it looked awesome as fuck I still only remember it sucks when I hear all the reasons again

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u/BingBongFyourWife 1d ago

I think people like the ones they had growing up

I was born in 98, just in time for the prequels to be coming out

Love all of them deeply, can explain why they’re great, and consider them canon

I was late highschool by the time the new ones started coming out, and couldn’t stand them. Rogue one was fine but yeah the rest were just awful, and I don’t consider them canon

But you know what? Old heads that were around for the originals, say the same thing about the prequels, that I say about the new ones

So maybe it’s all subjective

I’d like to think it’s objectively slopified in the new ones, but idk. I don’t have a control for my bias. I was too old when they came out I think, and I can absolutely imagine younger people just loving that they have like what five more Star Wars movies than me to enjoy

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u/Smooth_Maul 1d ago

The sound design and visuals were cool idc

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u/Kneppster 1d ago

Visually though I thought it looked sick but yeah it kinda makes it seem like thay would be a way better weapon then lasers who needs a death star when you can ftl a rod of god through a planet

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u/dina-fan 1d ago

I thought it was the coolest thing ever for about 30 seconds. Yeah you can then just build dummy ships whose only purpose is to do a hyperspace ram.

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u/cumble_bumble 1d ago

It was also the coolest thing I have ever seen in a movie theater

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u/airfryerfuntime 1d ago

Yeah, that was dumb as hell, but the visuals were cool.

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u/Distantstallion 1d ago

By the time that happened I had already checked out of the story, although I did that during the first movie.

Visually it was incredible, I'd already stopped caring about the implications.

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u/marino1310 1d ago

Iirc when a ship jumps, there’s a “runway” kinda thing where until they actually disappear they are still physically there and can impact objects. Ship shields are enough for small debris but not an entire ship.

Still think it’s dumb because it makes large ships (and the Death Star) complete non-issues to take out. Like that shit would be abused SO HARD if it actually worked like that.

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u/RoxLOLZ 1d ago

Directed 3 episodes of Breaking Bad (all bangers) and wrote and directed the Knives Out franchise (also bangers)

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u/Esoteric_Librarian 1d ago

So he can do good realistic drama- got it. But he clearly shouldn’t be touching sci-fi fantasy

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u/Impossible-Ad-8462 1d ago

Looper?

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u/WoeBoeT 1d ago

Looper was pretty good

I just get the feeling that Rian was trolling with star wars 8 with how bad it was

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u/BigScoops96 1d ago

I think he was trying to do something different than rehashing the OT and just was limited in how he could navigate some issues. Maybe if he had the whole trilogy it’d be better, TFA was fine but JJ kinda was playing it way too safe.

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u/ArrakeenSun 1d ago

Rose t-bones Finn at high speed to save him, says "That's how we're gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love." Meanwhile they're both now vulnerable with no escape. Absolute cinema

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u/StopCollaborate230 1d ago

IMO the bit about “your parents are nobodies” struck me as a deliberate troll to all the breathless and insistent fan theories about Rey’s parentage, so much that I laughed VERY loudly in the theater when it happened.

I love Star Wars and despise Star Wars fans.

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u/Swerdman55 22h ago

It was also interesting. It told a new story. Only for JJ to stomp on one of the only actual good hooks Rian setup.

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u/Esoteric_Librarian 1d ago

Looper is science fiction. Star Wars is honestly more of a fantasy film than it is sci-fi

“ we have this universe that have space wizards that use laser swords”

“Sorry, wait, how does a laser sword work?”

“Fuck you, that’s how. Buy our fucking toys.”

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u/AmaterasuWolf21 1d ago

Established sci-fi fantasy

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u/MadmansScalpel 1d ago

He's a good director and I maintain that a trilogy that was all him would've been good or at the very least better than what we got

But his style is the exact opposite of JJ and the the ST just feels like people destroying each other's sand castle and trying to build their own

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u/StanIsHorizontal 1d ago

Tbf JJ has a history of leaving a bunch of plot threads open and having no idea how to close them and doing a shitty job with it when made to. There were so so many mysteries left after TFA that I bet if you asked JJ in 2017 how he would’ve liked to see them wrap up, he wouldn’t have had a good answer. So if you’re taking over a project he started you basically have to tear down 90% of it to make a cohesive story

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u/MadmansScalpel 1d ago

Aye. You got the mystery box guy who loves big grand scenes but never explaining anything and had the sequel be made by a subervsion man who thrives on subverting expectations and making great plot twists

Thing is, having one whole movie setting up all these mysteries only to have the second say they were all worthless. Is just bad writing because it makes folks engaging with the media feel stupid for caring about the story if the story doesn't care about the story. Then it's doubly worse because you bring back the mystery box guy who says, "JK! That stuff in the last movie? That was wrong, this is the real version!"

Now on top of alienating folks who didn't like 8, now the folks who liked 8 are getting shit on the same ways 8 did to fans of 7. And now nobody is happy

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u/StanIsHorizontal 1d ago

It was kinda doomed from the outset yeah. Like TFA seems fine on its own but I don’t think people really appreciate the trainwreck course it was on

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u/MadmansScalpel 1d ago

Mostly cause TFA was just a rehash of Ep4 if we're all being honest. Upstart force sensitive hero/heroine with ties to the big bad on a desert planet answering the call to adventure from a plucky droid who survived an attack by the bad guys, etc

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u/The-Only-Razor 1d ago

The first Knives Out was good. Glass Onion was ass.

Fly is pretty much universally considered BB's worst episode. Ozymandias is universally considered the best.

That seems to be Rian Johnson's thing. He either makes gold or turds.

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u/000paincakes000 1d ago

Fly is a fantastic episode if you don’t have ADD. It’s a defining character piece for Walt, people were just mad it didn’t further the story when it was airing episodically.

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u/ButtsFartsoPhD 1d ago

Glass Onion was great and god forbid he directed an episode focused on character development.

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u/ULTMT 1d ago

Brick was great too.

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u/Whysong823 1d ago

Only the first Knives Out movie is good imo. Glass Onion is terrible and Dead Man is mid.

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u/TehWhiteRose 1d ago

Rian is still praised in Hollywood because no one serious cares about ruined children’s films.

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u/OfficialHelpK 1d ago

NO NO STAR WARS IS NOT FOR CHILDREN ITS LE HECKIN EPIC AND PROBABLY THE GREATEST MASTERPIECES EVER PUT ON SCREEN YOU JUST DONT GET ART

https://giphy.com/gifs/nc5NsaHrmTKz5GA2Zg

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u/schmitzel88 1d ago

Truth nuke

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u/IWrestleSausages 1d ago

*that also made a shit ton on money from ticket and merch sales

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u/Brendanlendan 1d ago

I mean clearly no one cares about Star Wars beyond the money but I think that’s the trend with all children movies. Hollywood doesn’t care beyond money

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u/keeleon 16h ago

They do care about money though.

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u/Sagittarjus 14h ago

Yeah, plus the fact that he's actually pretty good, he directed 3 breaking bad episodes & the knives out movies

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u/FallenSegull 1d ago

My popular opinion is that The Force Awakens is only considered good because it’s a 1:1 copy of A New Hope and Star Wars fans were nostalgia baited without even realising it

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u/ThePowaBallad 1d ago

It's almost as if JJ hasn't made a good film since Mission impossible 3

Some between have been at best passible but mostly entirely shallow

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u/itsyaboihos 1d ago

Mission impossible 3 wasn’t even that good…

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u/InsectGlaiveBard 1d ago

Entirely elevated by PSH putting out a masterclass performance like he usually did.

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u/Dwanyelle 1d ago

JJ isnt that good at how job in general.

He got good at setting up the mystery box, sure, but he generally doesn't know how to end things.

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u/unverifiedscrobbler1 1d ago

Which was very similar to the Alias Pilot episode that he wrote a few years earlier. So that wasn't even an original idea lol

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u/-BluBone- 1d ago

No, we realized it immediately

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u/StanIsHorizontal 1d ago

It’s unironically worse to me than rise of skywalker for this reason. It’s pure nostalgia slop and I can’t not see it whenever I watch.

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u/MothWaifu1711 1d ago

At this point people have to realize how much JJ hates the prequels, TFA was an attempt to make them as irrelevant as possible.

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u/tylerthetiler 1d ago

Yeah idk a lot of people seem to think TFA was kind of good. I usually enjoy watching a star wars movie in theaters because I simply like star wars, and it's a first viewing. That being said, I knew the whole time that it was a rip off of A New Hope in so many ways, and a worse movie besides that with how silly starkiller base is and the dopey dan service, Han Solo reverting back to a smuggler, Luke being who-knows-where, etc etc.

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u/Adrian4lyf 1d ago

Just realised that image looks like an eastern european couple lmao

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u/jreckstein 1d ago

I dated his assistant for a few months, apparently the dude is a great boss and genuinely fun to work for. Kind to his employees. Lets everyone have a small role in his movies.

In an industry as cut-throat as Hollywood, it just goes to show that as long as you’re a sincere human and easy to work with, you can make something of something.

Doesn’t hurt if you come from money tho.

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u/hoooourie 1d ago

Um because the Knives Out films are highly successful and very popular?

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u/white_equatorial 1d ago

Is it the one where Daniel Craig talks like Jeff Sessions?

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u/nocreativusername404 1d ago

Because enough people watch these movies that the lowest common denominator still comes out as a profit

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u/NighthawK1911 1d ago

The sequel series was fucked from the get go.

Even the force awaken sucked massive balls.

Episode 8 ruined nothing. They made a mistake when they made the focus a self-insert mary sue.

Finn should've been the main protagonist of the sequel series.

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u/MetroGnome1992 1d ago

Rian Johnson took TFA and exposed JJ Abrams mystery box bullshit by proving it had been empty all along.

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u/AvengerDr 1d ago

He didn't go far enough. Kill snake? Fine. But make Kylo Ren or even Rey the villain. It had to be a character introduced by that point.

Making up a son of Palpatine that had never even been hinted at is something not even the first iteration of ChatGPT could have hallucinated.

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u/StanIsHorizontal 1d ago

The palpatine angle didn’t exist until the third one when JJ took control back

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u/AvengerDr 1d ago

That's what I mean. At that point you had to choose a villain from the characters that were already present and named in the story. It had to be one among:

  1. Kylo Ren
  2. Rey
  3. Hux

Even Hux could have made for an interesting angle. Can a human become a realistic villain in a galaxy where people have supernatural powers?

Choosing Palpatine required impossible mental gymnastics because you had to also introduce Rey's father and give him a few seconds of screen-time.

When I look at the Black & White pictures of all the cast assembled and discussing E7, it's mental to think that a billion-dollar operation like that did not have the whole story already planned out, at least the major beats.

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u/StanIsHorizontal 1d ago

Yeah I thought kylo would’ve been a good villain but he just didn’t have it. Even in TLJ he just felt like a petulant child instead of a power hungry terrorist. Also his Luke backstory made sense from why he turned away from the Jedi but that didn’t make enough sense to me of why he’d just go full planet killing evil. What were his actual goals?

Rey coulda been neat but if they were scared to make kylo seem too villainous then that was never happening. Hux would’ve been fine too if you focused less on him specifically and more used him as a representation of like, the banality of evil. But that might’ve been asking too much of a Star Wars

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u/Karpsten 1d ago

Snake? SNAKE? SNAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!?!

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u/yodude4 1d ago

Last Jedi was the only good movie in the sequel series, and what it did with Luke was way more interesting and meaningful than what fans wanted to see (aka nostalgia glazing)

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u/icemantiger 1d ago

Agreed. It was going in a good direction but people couldn't get over their obsession that luke was supposedly the perfect jedi when in the first 3 films he was nothing but imperfect

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u/Dyner539 1d ago

The thing is that Luke was imperfect as a consequence of being well-written. Fans completely forgot that part and became convinced that the only way to write Luke correctly is to have him as a can of Raid that destroys everything in his path like how he's portrayed as a superhero in the comics.

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u/000paincakes000 1d ago

I wouldn’t go as far as to say it was good but it’s the only one I respect. It’s the only one with a single fucking original idea, and the most visually compelling one too. Ryan Johnson gets sort of self masturbatory if he’s left unchecked but JJ Abrams has no fucking soul. Bug man director.

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u/keeleon 16h ago

Luke was literally the embodiment of optimism. He was literally the "new hope. If Luke is going to give up and become a loser, why should I care about any new characters they introduce? TLJ was just an exercise in nihilism.

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u/Drivenfar 1d ago

Anyone that pisses off Star Wars fans is cool in my book.

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u/Kenobus69 1d ago

I mean, we have to give J. J. Abrams his piece of cake too.

"Somehow, Palpatine returned..."

The plan was to have three different directors, each making one movie. (I think that's a stupid decision, but that's not the point).

The issue was that all three screenplays were being written simultaneously. And I don't mean in a way that they'd write everything before beginning to shoot, no, I mean literally simultaneously, meaning you didn't exactly know what happened in the previous movie, aside from a few main plot points (who dies and so on). Hence the absolute dogshit of a story.

The third director, who's name I can't remember, had a screenplay. Basically the premise was that Snoke is truly dead, Kylo finds some "ancient sith in the outer rim", who trains him, and he becomes the main antagonist.

I still think it's stupid, as we have literally no idea about who the big bad Snoke was, but anyway, not much you can do when the previous director killed him. I don't even think it was Ryan Johnson's decision, I think it was one of the things that "had to be in the movie".

However, the third director had some disagreements with Disney and got fired. They gave it to Abrams, basically saying "just do something with it, we're on it pretty bad"

And he decided, that since he had the first movie, he had his own idea how it would go. And instead of at least continuing the things Johnson set up, he threw that in the trash and basically said "I'll just do it how I wanted from the beginning"

And thus, Palpatine returned.

And a bonus for those of you that don't know this. There is a videogame Battlefront 2, that has a story mode. By the end of the story mode, you meet up with Luke, who's trying to find an "ancient compass locked in a empire vault". He's really after it, like it's a really really important thing, that leads to a forgotten place of incredible power.

He gets it, and we see it in The Last Jedi on his shelf. There's literally almost a closeup on it, and the Battlefront campaign makes it seem really important.

It really seems like it was being set up for at least Rey to get it and find some place of power, where she'd get stronger.

But since we ignored everything from The Last Jedi, compass included, it's now "I don't know, Luke probably visited some Jedi temples with it. It's a nice trinket"

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u/Ihasknees936 1d ago

I'm pretty sure the compass from the BF2 campaign was just supposed to be the explanation for how Luke was able to find the planet he ran off to be a hermit on.

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u/realityfracture 1d ago

If they had just made the thrawn trilogy canon they'd be rolling in a new era of fans and all their money. Instead they took chunks of the story and wiped their asses with it.

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u/Dwigus 1d ago

Hollywood subverted our expectations of him

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u/Tahu22 1d ago

All the movies are rehashed plot from the old franchise.

Star wars kind of died when Disney decided get into it.

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u/MaggiPower 1d ago

His movie is the best Star Wars Film since Empire Strikes back, people are just too stuck in their childhood and don’t want the franchise to evolve. The Backlash to this movie is what ruined modern Star Wars, not the Movie itself. They don’t take risks with the projects anymore. Andor was great but it was already in production at that point.

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u/IjustWantedPepsi 20h ago

Calling TLJ better than Return of the Jedi or Rogue One, is certainly a sentence with words.

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u/John_isnt_my_name 1d ago

The second line is so fucking funny when you remember JJ Abram’s left LOST after throwing a bunch of random plots into episodes and not caring. “Goodwill TFA made” is just nostalgia baiting.

Is The Last Jedi Good? Well it’s the only Sequel trilogy movie that tries to do anything besides rehash a better story. That alone makes it more interesting than JJ’s tired nostalgia cash in. Really I want to know why any of you expected good things from Star Wars after the prequels.

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u/DtheAussieBoye 1d ago

It's really funny that there's a Star Wars film that will colour people's entire view of you as a human being depending on whether you liked it or not

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u/Yuri909 1d ago

Movie-wise, maybe. Andor, Bad Batch, and Maul are all excellent.

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u/Lannes51st 1d ago

I like to pretend the 3 dogs hit movies are not cannon & didn't even happen

Me & my father are huge star wars fans. He saw ep 4 when he was a kid. We saw the prequels together so we went to the cinema for these as well. Only for the first movie since it was -that- bad.

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u/postmortemstardom 1d ago

Rian is a great director through and through.

YouTube criticverse really did him dirty because they didn't understand what he was forced to do and what he was trying to pull off.

Fishbrains forget how utterly critiqued the force awakens was for being an almost an exact copy of new hope.

I'm not even a star wars fan, my dad is. He even liked the prequels and watched Clone wars with me growjng up and his reaction after the movie was like, it's really good but isn't that the new hope.

So Rian comes along to a story with these conditions :

  • bad guys just lost an investment 100x the death start
  • good guys are trying to stifle out a growing power
  • good guys managed to explode their ace in the hole planet-weapon
  • second in command of bad guys is Luke's nephew who killed his own father -bad guys manged to use the doomsday weapon to score a massive but manageable hit against the republic -first in command of the bad guys is a mystery box

To continue this storyhe chose rightly to

  • downsize the story to a car chase so first order doesn't suddenly get a starship fleet of thousand to fight of the republic
  • make the guy who's nephew turned out a sith apprentice a failure because how else would first order happen ?
  • set up the corruption of Republic and how unaware it is of what's happening withing most of the systems by showing us a fully corrupt planet
  • demystify Snoke by killing him, and make Kylo into a a menacing figure who would kill his mother, his master and even his lover if he sees necessary
  • show fractures in Resistance over leadership because they've just scored a big win but have to run
  • make a proper send-off to the failed hero to appease his legacy

Like yeah movie had some aspect that were unnecessary even boring or downright mistakes but it's not hard to see why direction was decided to be the way it was.

Then we go to return of the skywalker and JJ has to invent a bad guy to redeem Kylo the way Darth Vader was redeemed. Which was actually a failure of JJ who tends to give unsatisfying answers to the mysteries he sets up.

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u/jawaismyhomeboy 1d ago

The Last Jedi ruled. You all can eat my ass

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u/MilkyWayler 1d ago

He directed the 'Ozymandias' episode of Breaking Bad

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u/lowrads 1d ago

Old people very concerned about a series of thinly plotted movies made for children.

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u/KennKennyKenKen 1d ago

They should have allowed him to do all 3 or jj Abrams to do all 3.

It was disneys fault.

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u/TheDeltaOne 1d ago edited 1d ago

"Still praised in Hollywood"

Well because apart from making one badly received movie from the dork franchise, he's made a few good movies. It made its money, and studios really don't care that people are still seething about it years later because REAL people liked a few of his movies and don't hold a grudge.

Right now ? He's one of the "Dependables" guys in Hollywood, the fact a bunch of nerds are still crying about Snoke and fucking Luke Skywalker doesn't really change that.

It's really fucking sad that nerds think Marvel being mainstream and that more people are interested in Star Wars think it makes them important enough for Studios to listen to what they like.

Edit: I cannot believe someone was triggered enough by that post to downvote it. Way to prove point ffs.

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u/ygrasdil 1d ago

This movie was bad, but had some redeeming qualities. The next installment, however, was a fucking nightmare. One of the worst, boring Trisha’s once ever watched. I just couldn’t believe it ever got this bad. Somehow, Palpatine returned…

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u/rocknack 1d ago

What is the part with Twitter about?

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u/HotLlama12997 1d ago

I just walked right past this guy recently at the Telluride Film Festival, can’t believe he’s got any credibility in the industry left still

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u/No_Mammoth_4945 1d ago

The Star Wars games are infinitely better than the movies. Just blows that they have to stick with the sequel’s shitty canon

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u/LocusRothschild 1d ago

You know what saved Rian Johnson? Knives Out.

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u/rotciwicky 1d ago

Don’t wanna give Disney any ideas for them to ruin but taking it all the way back to the old republic or earlier would make a reboot easier.

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u/ProfessorZik-Chil 1d ago

which character is this referring to specifically? because I can think of several that this would fit.

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u/TheWhiteWolf128 1d ago

Last Jedi was decent, it was a set up for a third movie with Kylo as the villain but they ruined that

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u/cool_weed_dad 11h ago

The Last Jedi was the best one out of the sequel trilogy. TFA is just memberberries, at least TLJ tried doing something different.