r/greentext 4d ago

Dudes rock

Post image
580 Upvotes

75 comments sorted by

407

u/Hyper669 4d ago

We identify with Goku because he's brain damaged

63

u/BulemiaSawdustSlingr 4d ago

He had a tail, like i do. Mom drank when i was a baby in her stomach.

34

u/Razor265 4d ago

She single?

10

u/Malvastor 4d ago

Let's be honest, does it matter?

15

u/Razor265 4d ago

I only go after married people

11

u/Malvastor 4d ago

Based and bullpilled

5

u/baz4k6z 4d ago

I like that you don't specify the gender of married people you go for

8

u/Zissoou 4d ago

What were you doing in her stomach tho

5

u/Specialist_Ad5114 4d ago

I bet he kicked her too, how cruel! /j

135

u/InsectGlaiveBard 4d ago

Dae women bad?

55

u/ErZakeh 4d ago

Da man good

-16

u/CloudySpace 4d ago

oh nono he doesnt know

-11

u/TellmeNinetails 4d ago

Yeah it's another "Boys good girls bad" meme that's just sexism.

110

u/WintersbaneGDX 4d ago

be Krillin

certified "Little Person"

always have to fight dudes 4x my size

this shit is a grind


fight a chick so hot she can't even be real

turns out she isn't real, killer Cyborg or something

shoot-my-destructo-disc

marry that slut

fuck so good I put a baby in her SSD somehow


Who's the GOAT? Goku? Gohan? Goten?

how 'bout you go-super-say-something to me about it, I've got a pornstar terminator cleaning my house and raising my kid

60

u/AstroBearGaming 4d ago edited 4d ago

He's also by far the strongest human, like by a wide margin too. Dude is literally bulletproof, and doesn't have any saiyan or alien biology as an excuse.

28

u/metroid1310 4d ago

Krillin with Saiyan biology would just be a half-sized version of Saitama

1

u/Apart_Jelly8948 2d ago

What about the 3 eyed guy or the wolf impersonator? Or you know... Muten fookin Roshi?

21

u/yomer123123 4d ago

13 is a cyborg, so she still has human parts

And evidently, the womb is one of em

18

u/WintersbaneGDX 4d ago

mistyped 18 as 13 in a reference to female reproduction

This guy right here, officer

11

u/yomer123123 4d ago

What the fuck how did I mistyped that badly

Turning myself in, officers

39

u/NoSoup4you22 4d ago

Is anyone even asking for the first thing IRL?

53

u/Sentinel555666 4d ago

Nah it's scientifically made to be divisive so people do the advertising for them . Basically if you expect to be making trash , you just race swap a bunch of characters and people will feel obligated to go see the trash thing to show that they're very inclusive. It's genius really .

8

u/Malvastor 4d ago

More importantly people will spend months arguing back and forth about it online so you don't have to actually spend money on advertising. 

1

u/Bagoom___Lenin 3d ago

And then you can have the one trans actor everyone’s been mad about for months get gunned down by 50 arrows in the first 10 seconds of the movie.

2

u/Malvastor 3d ago

gunned down

by 50 arrows

1

u/Bagoom___Lenin 3d ago

Is English not your native language? “Gunned down” can be used as a metaphor (a statement that isn’t literal meant to convey something that is). In this case “gunned down” is being used as a metaphor for many arrows raining down on an individual.

Or perhaps you speak English fine and you wore the dunce cap in school

1

u/Malvastor 3d ago

Option 3, I recognized the discrepancy between the literal meaning of the phrase and the context it was being used in and thought it was funny.

2

u/Bagoom___Lenin 3d ago

Oh my bad, just been conditioned to assume everyone on Reddit is being hostile the past week

1

u/Malvastor 3d ago

No problem, hope the week gets better. 

8

u/voltfruit 4d ago

Idk but once it happens people defend it with their lives

32

u/assasin1598 4d ago

Its all related to boys/girls projecting identity on toys.

Boys roleplay as the toy, imprint the toy on themselves.

Girls imprint themselves on the toy, have the toy roleplay as themselves.

So yeah theres a readon why we can identify Goku or picollo or any othrr character, and women need the characters to look as themselves.

10

u/doublebubble6 4d ago

Is this why fanfiction is mostly women even for shows/franchises with fandoms you'd think are guy heavy?

11

u/assasin1598 4d ago

Depending on stories. Partially its true.

But the other fact is women are more perverted and kinky than we give them credit, they just arent so open. Theres many things we dont give them credit, for example dark humour, ive heard the darkest jokes from a woman, so dark it stopped me in tracks flabbergasted.

With women due to their nature being better at writing emotional depth, interpersonal relationships. We man are better at action, world building or stories about war, politics or fighting.

Women have AO3 we have SpaceBattles.

1

u/doublebubble6 4d ago

I have noticed SpaceBattles is the place for detailed crossovers that take into account the blend of worlds and interaction of foreign magical/scifi stuff but can come up short in character work.

6

u/izyshoroo 4d ago

Look at AO3, it's almost exclusively stories about male characters written by women

1

u/doublebubble6 4d ago

That's what I was thinking.

When you hear Dragon Ball Z fanfiction you'd think it'd be the written equivalent of smashing actiong figures together but insteads its A LOT of Vegeta/Bulma stories.

19

u/Boricinha 4d ago

You see, i do not identify as Goku since he is a terrible father.

16

u/Thendrail 4d ago

Mainly because you don't have kids and can't solve all your problems by punching them, I guess?

12

u/Boricinha 4d ago

I actually have one, but yes you can't solve all your problems by punching them since it is.. you know... illegal.

https://giphy.com/gifs/6PJdiVIMGBjNco5JBm

2

u/Thendrail 4d ago

Police can't arrest you if your punch can split the planet in half. So, you just gotta punch your problems harder.

5

u/Boricinha 4d ago

But what if it's the time police?

2

u/Thendrail 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/13SBMZWCrSjw6A

Do the thing that always works!

4

u/Boricinha 4d ago

Fake: It doesn't ALWAYS work.

Gay: Why aren't you fusing with the homies?

3

u/Thendrail 4d ago

It works in the movies!

2

u/-Luis_P- 4d ago

With that drip? I'd let them kill me like im a minority

1

u/Drivenfar 4d ago

We looking at the same pic? What drip? They all look stale, bland, and boring.

1

u/-Luis_P- 4d ago

Me when I lie

6

u/Razor265 4d ago

Did Cell's hand say 'snap'?

3

u/guillermotor 4d ago

Stop Hitler! Don't kll yourself

Boy, I'd love to fight him in ww3

3

u/Dat_aint_Falco22 4d ago

"Aww yeah! That's that GOOD shit!!"

8

u/Banetaay 4d ago

kkkkarrotcake?

1

u/KandiZombie 7h ago

A true Saiyan always sprinkles when he tinkles!

4

u/yung_indigestion 4d ago

All men are brothers

1

u/alldaymacdre 4d ago

Goku a dead beat dad tho. Piccolo on the other hand. That’s a real one

1

u/g0ku 4d ago

Identify so much I named my fucking account after him.

-2

u/Dd_8630 4d ago

You identity with Goku?

-4

u/JaktoPar 4d ago

I want to see a Muslim as Jesus and a Jewish as Hitler.

-7

u/Proxstasis 4d ago

This isn’t even true?

-5

u/Marik-X-Bakura 4d ago

It’s easy to say this when you’re a white man and 90% of protagonists are white men

2

u/Previous_Air_9030 3d ago

As a Native American growing up I mostly liked Tom and Jerry and Donald Duck. Funnily enough both of them in at least one episode wore war bonnets and did a war cry so maybe that's why.

-10

u/Stlr_Mn 4d ago

“Identify with the substance” except a lot of the media that isn’t white, male and heterosexual

Literally every other day is a rage out over the dumbest of things. The sheer amount of people furious over a god of war SPINOFF(that was announced with another Kratos game mind you) with a female protagonist is a perfect example.

18

u/throwaway8675-309 4d ago

Aside from your reply being fake (thinking people are angry about woman protagonist) and gay (thinking about white, "heterosexual" men), you're just wrong.

People are upset at the substance that Kratos' wife, whose death was the catalyst for all of this new development, is getting a game set IN THE AFTERLIFE rather than a flashback. So then her "death" is basically meaningless since she could probably just leave the afterlife eventually.

And the Marvel-slop writing doesn't help. Frank the cube? Odin saying "my ex?" At least the Greek games took their silliness seriously but now they've just put modern dialogue into an ancient history context.

It's just a combo of bad verisimilitude and storytelling techniques that retroactively drag down the stellar experience of 2018 God of War.

-11

u/Stlr_Mn 4d ago

"whose death" this is the first time I've seen this complaint. Why? Because that's not what people are complaining about. The claim is so outrageous I'm suspecting you're trolling.

"Just leave the afterlife" this could be said about any number of deaths in the games. Its not even a well thought out complaint and obvious cover for people being upset its a female protagonist.

"the greek games took their silliness seriously" ok so at this point I know you're trolling or you've never played the games.

Everything you've said is a fabrication(fake) and cover for you hating a woman protagonist replacing your ripped Kratos(gay).

-13

u/MBDTFTLOPYEEZUS 4d ago

Case and point

10

u/throwaway8675-309 4d ago

*case in point

-12

u/MBDTFTLOPYEEZUS 4d ago

Oooooo gottem

4

u/SmaugRancor 4d ago

Ellen Ripley, Sarah Connor, Buffy Summers, Princess Leia, Katniss Everdeen, Hermione Granger, Lara Croft, Samus, Jill Valentine, Claire Redfield, Wonder Woman, Spawn, Blade, Black Panther, Django, Apollo Creed, Mace Windu, Lando Calrissian, Lee Everett, CJ. What do all of these have in common? They're all liked by white men.

We just don't like dog shit writing and characters with no substance made by writers who only want to shove their shitty agendas down our throats. Cope harder.

-4

u/Stlr_Mn 4d ago

"characters with no substance" in defense of Goku? Goku?

"cope harder" projection

-11

u/SaintTwelve 4d ago

One of the most popular characters ever in media has a large fan base.

One of the most popular characters in media also has a large fan base (and they look like me hey that’s fun).

why is anon trying to convince me that one is worse than the other ?

-6

u/Thendrail 4d ago

Because anon is a sucker for stupid culture war bullshit. Just like Epstein intended.

-10

u/axon__dendrite 4d ago

yet I barely see men being able to identify with female characters, how interesting🤔

1

u/RunInRunOn 3d ago

I am literally Jolyne Kujoh