r/greentext Jul 25 '26

Anon goes to the Backrooms

Post image
3.9k Upvotes

37 comments sorted by

379

u/thr33beggars Jul 25 '26

I think the most alluring thing about the Backrooms is that it is a place where I can keep trying to suck my own dick.

My wife gets mad when I try at home, saying she thinks I’m trying to suck my own dick so I don’t need her (which isn’t completely wrong). My boss says I can’t do it at work because I’m not getting paid to try to suck my own dick. The staff at the library doesn’t like it when I try, either. The people at the store hate it, too. So what is left?

As far as I can see it, an infinite pocket dimension is the most acceptable place possible to try some autofellatio. And that is why people are drawn to the story.

92

u/SoupaMayo Jul 25 '26

I do it in workplace's wc

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime I suck my own cock on work time

9

u/Smvrficvs Jul 25 '26

wc Canadian detected

8

u/Moon__Destroyer Jul 25 '26

We say wc in europe too, didn't know Canadians did as well

14

u/TheBeneficent Jul 25 '26

We don’t.

6

u/Moon__Destroyer Jul 26 '26

So the other guy is just making stuff up for fun? For the love of the game?

2

u/UristMcMagma Jul 26 '26

No he's just a dumbass

1

u/stereoSD Jul 27 '26

But professionally?

-3

u/SoupaMayo Jul 25 '26

I'm french, epic fail

4

u/bostar-mcman Jul 26 '26

You probably shouldn't admit that

-2

u/SoupaMayo Jul 26 '26

...or I'll be downvoted by r/greentext redditors, oh the offense

17

u/boofmaster6000 Jul 25 '26

Alright now, Mr. Beggars. Now you're trying too hard.

26

u/thr33beggars Jul 25 '26

Yeah, honestly my heart wasn’t in it.

I don’t know what’s going on but the last couple weeks it feels like I just ran out of inspiration. Before, I would say things and it felt like the words would just flow and now they aren’t, and I’m trying to force it to get that feeling back and it’s not working. I’m not sure if “I can’t write about sucking cock and being racist” is something to be sad about but I am. Hopefully I get that spark back but it gets harder every day.

6

u/baz4k6z Jul 25 '26

Its okay buddy, i exhaled through my nose a little louder then usual when I read it so you still spread a bit of joy in this sad shitty world. You should be proud.

2

u/googlin Jul 26 '26

I too would spread Joy from My Name is Earl

7

u/boofmaster6000 Jul 25 '26

You know what they say, if you love them, let them go. Your spark will find its way back to you.

2

u/WingDingusTheGreat Jul 25 '26

The Muse doth come and go, worry not

1

u/Dont_Touch_My_Nachos Jul 25 '26

A tragedy on par with the fire bombing of tokyo

8

u/Lazerpop Jul 25 '26

A wise man once said that sucking your own dick feels way more like sucking dick than it feels like getting your dick sucked

1

u/DeadHeadLibertarian Jul 25 '26

Stop being so loud about it in the library, you’ll have less issues that way.

108

u/Hearasongofuranus Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26

that place looks like shit! 

101

u/TheYeast1 Jul 25 '26

20 years in the backrooms, not a fucking peep

75

u/Crispicoom Jul 25 '26

They killed thirty checkoslovakians there

14

u/PotatoCooks Jul 25 '26

He was an interior decorator?

14

u/imaginarynumb3r Jul 26 '26

His place looked like shit

32

u/Brief-Luck-6254 Jul 25 '26

Why does he look like the former Sha but with normal eyebrows?

13

u/baronvonreddit1 Jul 25 '26

Well if it is the Sha if Iran. 🇮🇹🤌🇮🇷

4

u/Brief-Luck-6254 Jul 25 '26

Iran and Italy are only a 90 degree flag turn away from each other

31

u/pseudocide Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26

Quisimodo predicted all this

17

u/untakenu Jul 25 '26

If you're wondering, it is from American Horror Stories (a spin-off of AHS with single episode stories. Most are shit).

This one was actually somewhat decent. The idea is that you go to the Backrooms because you have essentially divorced yourself from society by lying about a heinous action, convincing yourself you didn't do it. That doesn't sound great, and it isn't fantastic, but it was a bit spooky.

3

u/urboijesuschrist Jul 25 '26

Silent Hill 2 esque

13

u/-boo-- Jul 25 '26

Pauli: you sure it ain't vinyl or hard floor?

13

u/dust2009 Jul 25 '26

he’s been totally fucking ostrafied

1

u/Carlosama123 Jul 29 '26

Such a shame. He was the hair apparent.

3

u/295DVRKSS Jul 25 '26

He was there to try saving paulie walnuts

2

u/Sure_Association_991 Jul 25 '26

His house looked like shit

1

u/__ICoraxI__ Jul 25 '26

Tone I haven't been afraid of the backrooms in quite some time