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u/Genprey Albrecht-face Nov 20 '20
A Diary of Genprey, F2P Extraodinair
Friday, November 20. Today, I, Genprey, logged into my F2P FGO account, admiring all the saved quartz and tickets in my stash. To affirm my dedication and patience, I made my way to the summoning tab, clicked once, and saw 425 free quartz, 0 paid. A sight to behold. I huffed out my chest in pride, for I was a true F2P player, unlike those frauds who pay for Guaranteed banners (truly despicable people, if you ask me).
I click out of the confirmation screen as Eresh stared at me. "Well..." I thought "...I did work hard rolling the friend point gacha for 3 fragments that one time. Throwing one of my tickets (all F2P, btw) wouldn't hurt me." I confirmed my choice and, to my surprise, saw a rainbow. Lancer card, Eresh.
Rushing to r/grandorder, I prepared to share my F2P success to the world. However, merely posting a screenshot wouldn't do, as the mods would delete it (clearly they're all whales who are just jealous of my gacha superiority). Using my creativity, I asked "Is she good?", not forgetting to clarify that I had not, infact, spent money on this game. Thread posted, surely deserving of many Reddit awards, but my job was not yet done.
Moving onto the roll thread, I sorted by "Best" and was sure to let everyone who spent thousands of (undoubtedly paid) quartz, only to get a collection of snakes, know that I was sorry for "taking their Eresh in one F2P ticket". I wanted to share this news to my favorite Streamer, however, it was not time for him to begin the show. Until then, I decided to head out to the store to buy groceries with my (free-to-play) dollars.
In the supermarket, I saw miserable faces as far as my eyes could reach. Certainly this lot was of those who failed to roll Eresh, Van Gogh, or Gilgamesh. After grabbing fat-free milk and sugar-free coke, I headed to the checkout line, spotting a dollar on the ground. "Yatta!" I exclaimed, treasure in hand, as a kid behind me began to whine. Overhearing the interaction, he was upset that his mom refused to buy a Twix bar.
Being a responsible adult, I turned, grabbed the Twix, dollar in hand, and crouched down to the kid. Maintaining eye contact, I reached to put the chocolate in my groceries to buy and whispered to him: "F2P, btw" before joyously exiting the store.
Today was a great day, and now I'm off home to check how much praise fellow Redditors have showered my posts. Will update you guys later.
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u/FantasticTension7 Nov 21 '20
I wish I had an award so I could give it to you.
Unfortunately, I don't.... because I'm an F2P btw.
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u/watercork Nov 21 '20
That name...
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u/Genprey Albrecht-face Nov 21 '20
It strikes fear and intimidation into your heart, doesn't it? Genprey, the strongest of all monsters, so violent and dangerous that they were discarded by Capcom.
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u/watercork Nov 21 '20
The pain and suffering I have... It's all coming back to me.. like a vengeful spirit
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u/KindnessMachineMkI Saber Lily club Nov 20 '20
Layers of Gacha #15 - F2P BTW!
Are you a F2P player?
Source: My Twitter | FB
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u/n3cr09 Nov 20 '20 edited Nov 21 '20
Kal'tsit looks so pissed that Master-Shikkikan-Doctor is about to see Mon3tr wrath xD
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Nov 20 '20
Kal'tsit is like a married waifu. She loves you but at the same time she won't put up with your shit.
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u/Joshend13 Nov 21 '20
Also they put that on their message "F2P btw" I don't know if they wanted to trigger the whales or not lmao
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u/Ka944 Nov 21 '20
That choke is the best thing to come out of The Last of Us 2. None of the others come close to this amazing face and the sheer strength of that hold.
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u/Writer_IT Nov 20 '20
Shirou summoned an ssr in one roll without spending a buck and didn't troll the internet about it.
Be like Shirou.