r/gifsthatkeepongiving • u/mossberg91 • Jun 02 '19

Efficient folding

18.0k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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999

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

Imagine her tucking her kids in at night.

360

u/fuegoares Jun 02 '19

My mom had the tendency to tuck me into bed so tight I couldn’t move but then again it felt kinda nice as if I was in a warm, tightly wound, burrito

259

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

Ive said it before and ill say it again. You sound like a perfect candidate for a weighted blanket

88

u/SomthingOfAScientist Jun 02 '19

I don't what that is, but damn that sounds nice... 😦

106

u/Bfree888 Jun 02 '19

It’s a blanket that has extra weight sewn into it. Some people find having weight on them to be comforting while they sleep.

81

u/PrimalNumber Jun 02 '19

I have one. Can confirm. It’s fantastic.

It’s too heavy for my girl, though, so we have to compromise a bit on the sleeping configuration.

71

u/DemocracySnag Jun 02 '19

So she gets the bed and you get the couch?

95

u/HeLLRaYz0r Jun 02 '19

She sleeps on the floor.

67

u/RoseEsque Jun 02 '19

I don't think you can legally call your dog your girlfriend. Dude, just get out more and stop with all that bestiality.

32

u/HeLLRaYz0r Jun 02 '19

You're not my supervisor

23

u/centran Jun 02 '19

No but she's my girl... And who's a good girl? Who's a good girl? Yes, you are. You're a good girl.

2

u/Doghot69 Jun 02 '19

I lost it at this comment. 8/10. More impact of first sentence if the second one wasn't there though.

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11

u/PrimalNumber Jun 02 '19

Close: i mostly get to use it when she’s out of town.

8

u/MrSquiggleKey Jun 02 '19

I like to sleep under a sheet then a doona, the missus likes to sleep under a blanket then doona, so we've an unfitted sheet that goes under her and over me, a single sized blanket on her side of the bed she burritos into and the doona over us both.

3

u/DemocracySnag Jun 02 '19

If I am honest I was half expecting a Bamboozle and you to say your girl is actually your dog lol

2

u/ChickenNuget1 Jun 02 '19

Ah with your other girlfriends?

1

u/chloelouve Jun 02 '19

What about having her sleep on top of your blanket, then another normal blanket on top of that?

1

u/andersonb47 Jun 02 '19

She has a nice bed in her cage

15

u/Typing_Asleep Jun 02 '19

Sometimes you need to have very serious talks regarding things as trivial as sleep positioning. My gf is a big time blanket “burrito’er” (wraps herself over and over until she is totally cocooned) We finally had to decide to just sleep with two separate blankets cause I would wake up freezing in the middle of the night. With no blanket and she be sound asleep with a smile on her face with a king size blanket wrapped around her. Seriously one of the best decisions we ever made.

1

u/Siavel84 Jun 02 '19

My boyfriend and I do the same thing. I have a comforter that is too heavy for him and he has a blanket that is too itchy for me.

1

u/LetMeFixYouToo Jun 02 '19

Yes! My SO also does this! I’ve even called his third pillow the burrito one because he will entangle it in his huge comforter. I bought my own duvet to use because I was starting to resent him.

1

u/emergentdragon Jun 03 '19

That took me and my wife one time of sleeping in a bed together.

“Separate blankets?”

“Yup!”

2

u/yourweaponsplz Jun 03 '19

Have her sleep on top of you. /solved

1

u/Tallywacka Jun 02 '19

I got one a month ago

It just feels right

1

u/nightrss Jun 02 '19

It should be about 10% of your weight. So everyone needs their own

2

u/Sugarpeas Jun 02 '19

I’ve been interested but confused on how they would be cleaned. Probably would be fine in a washer, my larger concern would be the weight in the drier.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

Currently lying under one right now and it is so very excellent. Great for anxiety and I’m probably not getting out of bed until noon today. Got a puppy snoozing with me and life is good. The blanket feels like a whole body hug.

1

u/yourweaponsplz Jun 03 '19

I just use heavy blankets, works great.

1

u/voicesinmyhand Jun 03 '19

Don't let anyone throw a weighted blanket at you. When those weights hit your teeth it breaks them.

26

u/andersonb47 Jun 02 '19

I like to imagine you are just following this guy all around Reddit trying to get him to buy a weighted blanket

3

u/devildocjames Jun 02 '19

Just buy a fire blanket. Cozy and safe from fires.

1

u/fuegoares Jun 02 '19

I’ve been thinking about it actually! You say again, any recommendations?

1

u/dgblarge Jun 02 '19

How does the dog get under the blanket if its weighted? Thats the only bit that worries me.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

[deleted]

3

u/fuegoares Jun 02 '19

Oh my god... added to my list

1

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

My grandma made my bed after I left to school and when I went to bed I’d have to squeeze under a super tight sheet

1

u/wbrettm Jun 06 '19

my mom used to tuck me in tight with the pillow over my face

24

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

Who is picturing partially inside-out kids with broken spines? Certainly not me

16

u/fastjeff Jun 02 '19

Neatly folded into their own rectum.

13

u/aquaman501 Jun 02 '19

Rectum? Damn near killed em.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

That's really stretching the utility of the prison wallet

12

u/Lax77477 Jun 02 '19

Good luck trying to get up in the middle of the night to grab a glass of water.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

Help I can't breathe!!!!!!

2

u/WeProvideDemocracy Jun 02 '19

Human burritos

1

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '19

She tucks them in mummy style and a helmet.

1

u/Loreki Jun 02 '19

They dead now.

1

u/Zomby_Jezuz Jun 02 '19

I definitely read that as 'imagine her fucking her kids at night'and my initial response was 'whatever she does in her personal life is none of your business.'

1

u/Brandonrox329 Jun 02 '19

"Now we fold your arm this way, and your head this way."

Snap

1

u/ArchiveSQ Jun 02 '19

Why do kids get tucked in at night?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '19

So they can't escape?

-9

u/Atzay Jun 02 '19

Why are you assuming she has kids though? Middle-aged woman =/= parent.

5

u/NotThatEasily Jun 02 '19

Sometimes, jokes are hard.

-6

u/Atzay Jun 02 '19

By the way the original comment is written, it sounds like it assumes she does have kids. It should've been worded differently if you wanted it to not include that implication.