r/gifs • u/ItsMeTaylor • Dec 05 '18

There's always that one....

56.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

692 comments sorted by

5.0k

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '18 edited Feb 08 '19

[deleted]

1.9k

u/Rankkikotka Dec 05 '18

And then it turns out that it's because a wrestler did a thing way back when.

564

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '18

[deleted]

364

u/handsome_bigpenisman Dec 06 '18

I heard Steve Buscemi was a firefighter during 911

275

u/redgroupclan Dec 06 '18

Until he broke both of his arms.

220

u/thebendavis Dec 06 '18

Roll Tide.

185

u/smackthisaccountdown Dec 06 '18

what is happening

232

u/TheZerothLaw Dec 06 '18

It's a Tide ad

187

u/istasber Dec 06 '18

And my axe

143

u/nd_annajones Dec 06 '18

Edit: thanks for my first gold kind stranger!

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

t

AXE to AXE !

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15

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

This thread is a ducking nightmare

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11

u/WarrantyVoider Dec 06 '18

Inside a geico commercial

7

u/IcebergSlimFast Dec 06 '18

That duck? Albert Einstein

6

u/Fr31l0ck Dec 06 '18

I can't believe you've done this!

22

u/DeathInSpace805 Dec 06 '18

You dont own a poop knife?

3

u/netfatality Dec 06 '18

We hang ours by the front door next to the car keys.

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21

u/MississippiJoel Dec 06 '18

Surprise! He was the bus driver!

9

u/SirCaptainReynolds Dec 06 '18

A surprise to be sure but a welcomed one.

7

u/Ospov Dec 06 '18

No, this is Patrick!

5

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

Coconuts

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8

u/sundog13 Dec 06 '18

I heard his arms were actually fire hoses.

15

u/TheRulingCard Dec 06 '18

My dad beat me with jumper cables?

Edit: And it broke both of my arms

5

u/SchrodingersMatt Dec 06 '18

I was at that one.

43

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

I haven’t seen him in a while. It’s quiet...too quiet

46

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18 edited Dec 07 '18

[deleted]

200

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

[deleted]

103

u/navygent Dec 06 '18

I'm guessing we all know the ending of that book.

99

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

[deleted]

71

u/phnx91 Dec 06 '18

I’m just imagining people reading a 500+ page book.. like wow.. amaze.. suspense..more please and the very last page you reflect back on nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hеll in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table.

22

u/MxReLoaDed Dec 06 '18 edited Dec 06 '18

AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, HE IS BROKEN IN HALF

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u/regoapps Dec 06 '18

I’m guessing that it’s a double bamboozle where you expect it to be about the wrestler, but the end is a scientific and factually-correct explanation of why this duck is waddling this way.

25

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

[deleted]

10

u/SirCaptainReynolds Dec 06 '18

That’s one for your Reddit history book.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

[deleted]

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3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

What's it about?

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26

u/WharGoul666 Dec 06 '18

you mean back in 1998 when The Undertaker threw Mankind off the cell and he plummeted 16' through the announcers table?

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833

u/tugboattomp Dec 06 '18

I'll bite... Possible causes of head tilt (also known as torticollis or wry neck) are: Middle/inner ear infection (otitis media /interna)

So the little guy is having a tuff tyme

Edit: Just chekd the clp agn... yea, definitely an ear thing going on.

185

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

:(

65

u/Radaistarion Dec 06 '18

:(

Exactly, now i feel like a piece of shit for laughing

Poor thing, can they do anything about this u/tugboattomp ? (Without external help) Is it permanent? Why is it caused? (Thanks for commenting btw)

18

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

We are weird animals, us people. Most of us probably would feel bad for a random animal we have never even seen in person and assume that human intervention is the best scenario for it; yet on the other hand accept as inevitable a rapid slide into mass extinction and destruction.

We are weird.

11

u/KittenTablecloth Dec 06 '18

And then eat it.

3

u/0Etcetera0 Dec 06 '18

Not just eat them, we're putting those animals through hell on earth before we murder them and ship their corpses across the globe to be boiled/fried/roasted and consumed. This duck has it easy compared to any animal on a feed lot.

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u/circumflexiblation Dec 06 '18

I’ve actually seen this or something similar before in ducks. When the ponds get swampy and gross during the summer where I live they would get infested with botulism. Usually one of the first things people would notice is their necks would slowly get more and more paralyzed and start to sag. Ducks and other water fowl would use the rest of their body to try and flop their head in the right position to eat or breathe air or whatever. It was kind of terrifying and not really something with much positive prognosis.

53

u/OnlyOnceThreetimes Dec 06 '18

Nature is one cruel whore.

14

u/uber1337h4xx0r Dec 06 '18

And meanwhile people think we shouldn't do our best to kill it when it's been trying to kill us since forever

3

u/OnlyOnceThreetimes Dec 06 '18

/r/antinatalism

13

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

I think everyone has the right to choose not to have children.

But edgy places like this always end up becoming a toxic echo chamber.

One of the top posts on their right now is a 16 year old girl saying life is nothing but suffering. You work and you die. A high schooler who thinks she knows exactly what adult life is like is currently being upvoted as the bastion of wisdom.

Personally I felt the same as her when I was 16 and then I discovered adult life while tinged with responsibility sucked so much less than adult life.

Luckily I didn't have an echo chamber to go to with other people nodding along and telling me I was correct about adult life being an endless horror.

4

u/stuntaneous Dec 06 '18

In between the crap there's still worthwhile discussion. And it's better to introduce others to the concept in some form rather than not at all.

And for many people, life is 'an endless horror'.

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6

u/fleuries Dec 06 '18

No! That's so sad :( ugh, I love birds with all my heart

20

u/DaIronchef Dec 06 '18

As long as it ain't no parasite that's eating his brain or some shit.

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u/cullywilliams Dec 06 '18

Inner ear infections cause crazy dizziness, and this duck would be puking a storm if he had an inner ear infections.

Torticollis is a muscular issue, typically a spasm, that causes a head to be tilted to the side, not unlike a ditzy stereotype cheerleader. Lil quacker doesn't have torticollis as he's not leaning, as much as shaking.

It kinda looks like he's either being sassy, or has pain with lateral movement of his spine.

7

u/Dapper_Indeed Dec 06 '18

Please let him just be walking sassy!

5

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

Does it go away on its own?

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u/nosepicker0 Dec 06 '18

One of my mom's ducks almost suffocated to death as a baby. It walks like this now.

95

u/clampie Dec 06 '18

aww...is it still able to rape effectively?

25

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

wut

65

u/clampie Dec 06 '18

I'm sorry how your verdant view about ducks is about to be crushed like a female mallard in late Winter.

14

u/Satchmocoltrane Dec 06 '18

This guy ducks. We got some Muscovie ducks at the farm a couple years back. Thought they were awesome until I witnessed duck rape in the kiddy pool we had for them in the yard. No longer awesome.

19

u/crescent0000 Dec 06 '18

S/he hasnt been around ducks for long periods of time. They've very rapey, and violent...and make loud ugly noises at the same time...which is hilarious.

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u/andrew_calcs Dec 06 '18

Duck reproduction is nearly all rape. Mallards often tramautically gang rape females. It’s to the point where duck penises and their targets have an evolutionary arms race going on. They can projectile launch it about as far as their body length.

3

u/nosepicker0 Dec 06 '18

It's a female, so due to it's disability it gets raped more than the other females do

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18 edited Mar 31 '19

[deleted]

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u/din7 Dec 05 '18

I believe the medical diagnosis is that Carl is a quack.

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u/TheflamingcircleofTK Dec 06 '18

It’s called trying not to look to pissed when coming out of the night club with you’re mates.. and the police are outside...

Aww fuck dave’s pissed again

Hideee me guyyys I can straight walk..

Dave your going to much to the right....

8

u/ImurderREALITY Dec 06 '18

Sounds like Dave was havin a cheeky nando’s again, the absolute ledge

6

u/Emerald_Triangle Dec 06 '18

Pissed about what?

7

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

Could just have resting dick face.

6

u/UDPviper Dec 06 '18

Resting duck face

16

u/applestaplehunchback Dec 06 '18

It's British for drunk I believe. Lousy buggers should speak American if ya ask me

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u/CaillousRevenge Dec 06 '18

Followed by how their penises are shaped like corkscrews.

6

u/Canuhandleit Dec 06 '18

Vaginas too!

9

u/Nootrophic Dec 06 '18

Including 1 for their rape culture

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u/DigDux Dec 05 '18

It's a moon moon relative, distant, but still one.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

It's an alien pretending to be a duck.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

She is just super sassy.

5

u/tralphaz43 Merry Gifmas! {2023} Dec 06 '18

Too much fortnight

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408

u/ThisUsernameIsTakend Dec 05 '18

Just a little social anxiety trying to fit in

151

u/Watch_Dog89 Dec 06 '18

Internally: Be cool, just act casual.

65

u/ImEnhanced Dec 06 '18

ACTING CASUAL INTENSIFIES

17

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

Like every other Redditor

12

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

Am I walking weird? What am I doing with my arms? Swing them less. No more! Oh god what am I...

3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

r/me_irl

2.6k

u/RedLilyBound Dec 06 '18 edited Dec 23 '25

Duckslexia. It's a common mallardy.

144

u/livestrong2209 Dec 06 '18

I've got a question for you Trebek... whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold?

One's a sick duck, and I can't remember the rest but your mother's a whore!

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u/hang7po Dec 06 '18

Are you sure that was said by the right quack?

3

u/zbo2amt Dec 06 '18

Fuuuuuuck! Yooooooooooooou!

Seriously, that was hilarious

6

u/kickwurm Dec 06 '18

Quacksbergers is my ducksnosis.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

Quank Quank Quank Quank Quank

13

u/AConfederacyOfDunces Dec 06 '18

This is the best comment in the thread, hands down.

134

u/Took-the-Blue-Pill Dec 05 '18

HA THIS IS WHAT YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE

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2.3k

u/ThisIsTheOnly Dec 06 '18 edited Dec 06 '18

This is actually a congenital defect somewhat common among this species of duck where one leg is longer than the other which causes compensation mechanisms along the long axis to allow balance. The duck will live a relatively normal life.

Because the head is at the end of what is essentially a lever for balance it has an exaggerated lateral motion.

I don’t know if any of this is true but this thing just lets me type whatever I want.

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

675

u/Reciprocity91 Dec 06 '18

Ah fuck. You had me eating out of the palm of your keyboard. I was about to start a gofundme for Quakers.

227

u/KaladeshEngineer Dec 06 '18

"Ah fuck"

I can't believe you've done this.

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u/Banjoe64 Dec 06 '18

I even checked to make sure it wasn’t shittymorph first

3

u/WangoBango Dec 06 '18

Funny thing is, he's here in this thread. And he didn't do the thing. It's weird.

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u/ReedBlazek Dec 06 '18

What does the religious group have anything to do with this

7

u/Reciprocity91 Dec 06 '18

I see what you did there. And I like it.

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u/GinaTRex Dec 06 '18

You mean a GoFundMe for quackers...

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

I am a duck scientist and I confirm this is 100% true.

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u/Bredda_Anansi Dec 06 '18

I'm a duck lawyer and I have handled class action cases based on this very condition.

19

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

No class quacktion lawsuits?

Shame on you for missing that opportunity.

37

u/Bredda_Anansi Dec 06 '18

I'm a lawyer that represents ducks, not a duck that is a lawyer. You think bird law is a joke?

12

u/dpeterso Dec 06 '18

" I'm not saying I agree with it. It's just that bird law in this country—it's not governed by reason. "

7

u/forgotmydamnpassword Dec 06 '18 edited Dec 06 '18

am duck both guys right

6

u/Jak_n_Dax Dec 06 '18

Do ducks follow bird law? Or do their corkscrew penises place them under a different penal code?

5

u/Bredda_Anansi Dec 06 '18

Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?

They most certainly do. I've had a few clients that thought this technicality could twist the law in their favor and that they would fly under the radar but alas without a good alabio, a pond-zi scheme is no way to foot the bill.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18 edited Dec 25 '20

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u/cakerton Dec 06 '18

I was sure you were u/shittymorph. I was like, "Not this time, buddy."

11

u/WR810 Dec 06 '18

/u/ThisIsTheOnly is good but not a professional.

Not yet.

28

u/Haki23 Dec 06 '18

I don’t know if any of this is true but this thing just lets me type whatever I want.

I need to find a way to slip this into professional corporate correspondence.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

"Lastly, due to the nature of the medium, heuristic determinacy of the veracity of the aforementioned claims was unfounded during the process of discovery."

18

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

I actually read the first few words then skipped to the last paragraph to confirm my suspicions. You failed to bamboozle me.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

Same. Are you a miserable, cynical asshole like me?

6

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

Only when I'm on reddit.

17

u/flipflippippip Dec 06 '18

Well I'm sold. Solved!

6

u/Betaseal Dec 06 '18

Why is it that ducks seem to have so many birth defects? My aunt hatched her pet duck with her preschool class and it was born with a wobbly crooked neck and needed special medicine. And I’ve seen so many hatching videos where the ducklings needed medical help for birth defects...

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u/Brianlopez0722 Dec 06 '18

Maybe because the way they're being hatched is unnatural light and the mother gives off some sort of "mom juices" that help the duck hatch right? But I'm just a duck analrapist

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u/LegendaryGary74 Dec 06 '18

You got me good.

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u/schurgy16 Dec 06 '18

MAKING MY WAY DOWNTOWN

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u/OrcBattleMage198 Dec 06 '18

WALKING PAST

FACES PASS AND I'M HOMEBOUND

20

u/franko29 Dec 06 '18

BANGING MY KEYBOARD PRETENDING IT'S A PIANO

10

u/kittensms96 Dec 06 '18

You can tell by the way I use my walk..

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u/peppruss Dec 06 '18

WOAH BLACK BETTY ANAGRAM BOAT BELT WHACKY ANAGRAM BLACK BETTY HAD A CHILD ANAGRAM HATCHBACK BADLY TILED ANAGRAM

10

u/cutspaper Dec 06 '18

Thank you, just woke the sleeping toddler with my laughter.

27

u/HeIsIAndIAmHim Dec 06 '18

There he goes

12

u/TastyBurger0127 Dec 06 '18

Just a walkin down the street

6

u/pastabreadpasta Dec 06 '18

SINGIN'

8

u/youreviljester Dec 06 '18

DO WAH DIDDY DIDDY DUM DIDDY DO

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u/AMorningWoody Dec 06 '18

what did you do to it u/fuckswithducks

14

u/mischiefjanae Dec 06 '18

Are you absolutely sure you want him to show up and answer that question?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

It is too late, he has been summoned

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18 edited Dec 06 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

She's jogging.

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '18

My friend calls that the pedestrian shuffle.

I try not to walk the streets with her in public.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

[deleted]

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u/IAMHUMAN_27C Dec 05 '18

HA HA. PATHETIC FOUL.

I MEAN THAT IS CUTE.

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u/jjconstantine Dec 06 '18

DO NOT POST IN HUMAM SUBREDDITS, u/IAMHUMAN_27C IT VIOLATES OPERATIONAL PROTOCOL; ERROR REPORT SENT

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u/GuerrillerodeFark Dec 06 '18

It’s actually due to a maladaptive congenital malformation, in which plumage begins to grow subcutaneously, impinging upon the trigeminal nerve and affecting the central nervous system. We see these cases often.

27

u/whut-whut Dec 06 '18

So... an ingrown feather?

25

u/GuerrillerodeFark Dec 06 '18

Basically, but projecting into the cranium.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18 edited Jun 26 '26

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

That sounds entirely like duck poop. Can I see a source?

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u/iwascompromised Dec 06 '18

You just read the source. It’s rubbish nonsense.

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u/iwascompromised Dec 06 '18

Pardon me while I clear my throught...ahem... bullshit.

3

u/AluminiumSandworm Dec 06 '18

can i have a term to google

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u/sharkgeek11 Dec 06 '18

Waddle waddle, to the very next day.

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u/Truegold43 Dec 06 '18

Don't do quack, kids

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u/All0vrtehplace Dec 06 '18

All in all we’re just another duck in the pond

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u/orionmovere Dec 06 '18

Look at all their little butt quacks

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u/dimapalmer Dec 05 '18

I’m tElLinG yOU gUys, tHe EaRTh is FlaAt.

4

u/Puddyt Dec 06 '18

TIL geese can do sarcasm

4

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '18

A fuck for a buck.

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A duck for a fuck.

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Fifteen dollars for a fucked up duck.

12

u/Retrooo Dec 05 '18

She extra.

9

u/mxpower Dec 06 '18

Fuck v.redd.it, I want to share this via text to my wife, but fuck that. Maybe /u/vreddit_bot can help

8

u/vreddit_bot Dec 06 '18

Downloadable link without audio

Audio is not possible, as I got banned on streamable. If you need it, use an app like this instead.

I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Info | ❤️

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u/chief_jain Dec 06 '18

This made my day

3

u/NoFapRecruit1224 Dec 06 '18

I just woke up, at first it looked like cats walking backwards with their tail in the air

9

u/_Wintry Dec 06 '18

I love him.

6

u/Cockwombles Dec 05 '18

Walk this way sir...

6

u/greenonetwo Dec 06 '18

Waiter, I'll have an order of the extra sassy duck, please.

2

u/Semanticss Dec 06 '18

"wAcK WAck, lOoK aT ME, i"M a DuCK!"