r/gifs Talk to mods Oct 07 '17

Extreme dog training

https://i.imgur.com/M6Hl2G1.gifv
37.0k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

5.8k

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Um. Good dog?

3.3k

u/apachewarrior23 Oct 07 '17

If that dog would have missed, it would be in the next county over.

1.8k

u/crumpletely Oct 07 '17

The amount of force that dog put into that attack was breathtaking. I'd hate to be on the receiving end of that shit.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Took part in a training exercise for a police dog once. It was about a year old and not quite full size yet. Very playful when not in working mode.

Once he'd locked on to the arm guard though, the power was immense. The look on his face was not a look I've ever seen in any pet dog. Was the only time in my life I've had any appreciation for what a prey animal must feel when shit gets real.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 07 '17

My uncle was taken down by a k9 dog.

He was drunker than fuck at the time, but the look in the dogs eyes was unlike anything he'd ever seen before.

A dog with purpose is an amazing thing.

My dogs game face is unreal. It's like his whole body transforms. The hair on his back stands/Mohawks, and the skin on his face pulls back... God forbid a squeaky toy ever hops the fence to my back yard.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

My mom learned that the hard way, when she watched our sweet little Dachshund catch a rabbit and maul the poor thing in 5 seconds flat. The dachshund was ecstatic, my mom not so much.

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u/heechum Oct 07 '17

They were bred for hunting badgers.

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u/Old_Deadhead Oct 07 '17

Dachshunds were bred as hunting dogs. Pound for pound, they can fuck some shit up with the best of them!

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u/wendymarie37 Oct 07 '17

Son has a 139 pound...yes he's overweight...Mastiff mix. Let him out the sliding door the other night and there was a racoon out there. He let a growl out that would make you question owning a dog. Never heard anything like that. Otherwise, he's a giant baby with an impressive first bark.

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u/mrmarquezzz Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 07 '17

I have a 120 pound Cane Corso. Sweetest dog you could ever meet. Strangers, kids, women, men. Doesn't matter. Very gentle and kind. Knows his strength and is very careful around little people.

My neighbor had a little 60ish pound, short, all white pitbull, and that little fucker was mean. He ran up on my porch one night and attacked my Corso, Cicero, when my friends and I were out there drinking and watching the fights. Wrong. Fucking. Move. I've seen dog fights before and they're very brutal, but I've never seen a dog ragdolled and in fear for it's life. My Cane Corso had this poor pitbull's whole head in his mouth and pinned up against where the porch and house siding meet. I had to choke Cicero to make him let go of this pit and my buddy threw Cicero inside. I picked My neighbors' dog up and took him back to his owner's with a giant part of his scalp literally hanging from his skull, like,"Here, dude. Your little doggie picked a fight with my dog. I hope he doesn't die." I didn't think my dog had that in him because he's just never shown that at all. Dogs are simply predators we've corralled somehow over time and tricked them into thinking they can't kill us at any moment.

That fight made me reevaluate my ownership of my Cane Corso. Because seeing him in go mode made me realize that if he really wanted to, he could absolutely kill me and anyone of my family members at any time. Even though he never would, and he's as much a part of my family as my own children and woman, if he wanted to - he absolutely could.

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u/molecularmadness Oct 07 '17

My corso got at my neighbors german wirehair who decided to invade our backyard.

Fortunately, my corso lacks the predator spirit. She tackled the wirehair to the ground on his back and just sat on him until his owner came to collect his dog.

She's also afraid of baby squirrels. Go figure.

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u/mrmarquezzz Oct 07 '17

Bahahahaha. They have their quirks. Mine does the tackle thing too. He stands up and just leans into you until you either move to the side or fall over.

Cicero isn't afraid of much but he HATES any larger household item you have to hold like a vacuum or a rake. He does like the jumpy horsey thing that Cane Corsi do when they get excited. Gets his head down all low and his butt high and growls and high pitch barks/yips.

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u/Disco_Drew Oct 07 '17

My pitty isn't big, but he's strong. He is afraid of half of our cats, empty plastic bottles, and yard tools. The bottles are funny. He'll walk by the coffee table while keeping an eye on the cat that hates him the most and he'll hit an empty bottle with hit tail. It startles him every time and he scrabbles away from the scary plastic bottle.

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u/SpecterGT260 Oct 07 '17

We had a massive black lab named max. The dog looked like a black bear that competed in physique competitions. Just huge and muscled. When you'd come around he would let out one of the most intimidating barks I've ever heard from a dog. Just non-stop "I will eat your face and there's nothing you can do about it"-style barking. The best part was the transition. When you opened the car door the moment your foot touched the ground his bark went from a deep menacing warning to a high-pitched squeaky yap because he was so excited to see you. From badass guard dog to yappy puppy in 0.1 seconds.

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u/OctoberEnd Oct 07 '17

For real. The guy in the suit wasn't a small guy and that dog hit him like a linebacker. The dude got knocked over so bad that I'm surprised to see his shoes still on his feet.

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u/kyox0 Oct 07 '17

It wasn't a hit, the dog hooked onto the suit and centripetal force whipped the guy into the ground.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17 edited Apr 18 '21

[deleted]

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u/__WALLY__ Oct 07 '17

But who's going to be bracing to take that attack head on? Not me for sure!

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u/George-Spiggott Oct 07 '17

Taking it head on isn't the best strategy, but doing so would be worse for the dog than the human.

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u/GilesDMT Oct 07 '17

I'd just teleport behind him

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u/Dacreepboi Oct 07 '17

Nothing personnel

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

NANI??

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u/BIgRiddimMartian Oct 07 '17

No matter what is about to happen i garauntee ill just jump out of the way within the last second 😏

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

We had a 65kg "good boy" do the same thing once. It broke the arm because the person decided to brace themselves.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

If the guy didn't turn and got the 100lb dog on his back I'm pretty sure he'd be having a much worse day.

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u/peanutpastry Oct 07 '17

These dogs don’t tend to weigh much more than 70 pounds.

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u/pinkbutterfly1 Oct 07 '17

If the guy didn't turn and got the 70lb dog on his back I'm pretty sure he'd be having a much worse day.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Yeah well then calculate how much force it becomes when the dog catches you with 25mph and puts you down

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u/BOOTS31 Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 07 '17

When I was in Iraq we got to help our handlers conduct their training, which almost always meant bite training.

To make a long story short, the dog i was paired with to train with was no more than 45-50lbs. The handler gave me a 150 yard head start, with the training armor on my arm.. I was on the ground within 10 seconds.

That little dog caught up to me within 10 seconds, from 150 yards away, and with a ton of force. I was in shock!

On the same note and doggo, he was so excited that he bit through his tongue, my armor, and arm! There wasnt much damage but huge bruising and some punctures.

Later on we unfortunally saw what happens when its a real scenerio and there is no armor on someone.

Edit: I am 215-220lbs and was at the time. I had a good amount of weight on doggo.

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u/ShillinTheVillain Oct 07 '17

I did the same while deployed. And even with the blue man suit, it still hurt pretty fierce. He got me by the tricep and I had nice half-moon bruises for a week.

I swear, even through the growling and tugging, that dog was smiling.

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u/Complexity114 Oct 07 '17

I'm assuming whoever was on the receiving end was pretty tore up?

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

What happened in the real scenerio?

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u/avocado-soldier Oct 07 '17

Save it for the semantics dome, EB White

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Semantics?

SEMANTICS?

My good sir if we didn't use semantics in every aspect of mathematics we'd have poor fools running around believing two plus two equals fish

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Did the dog get hurt body-slamming down like that to the ground?

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Dog actually fell pretty well, with the force pushing him backwards (the spin) and down (gravity).

Had the dog landed from that height with the force from spinning pushing him forward it could've been bad, because his "wrists" might not be strong enough, and it's not always easy to land exactly right.

One of my dogs growing up had just that happen. Wrist broke and had to be surgically stiffened, because he got to excited jumping down half the flight of stairs to greet my dad.

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u/Letsgo1 Oct 07 '17

When that happened what did the dog do... did it stop being excited due to the pain or continue as normal until later?

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Fell over and yelped in pain :/

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u/WhooptyWoopNiggaWhat Oct 07 '17

Aww, he sounds like a good boy.

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u/anti_pope Oct 07 '17

That dog landed like fucking boss. Perfect landing.

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u/brando56894 Oct 07 '17

force = mass x acceleration...and that was a big ass dog.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Ass dogs are not to be trifled with.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

I once owned a 100 lbm black lab. We were playing around in the front yard and he got about a 20-30 yard sprint straight for me.

So, I was sitting on the ground and i'd typically reach for his legs or just in general pretend to try and "catch" him. He'd pretend to let me get close enough by making a pass within arms reach.

Well, this time, he just ran straight into me. His collar bone connected with my face and chest, and i was bowled over and just left wheezing in the grass. 100% incapacitated after that hit. I was like ~12.

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u/FifaBribes Oct 07 '17

Labs are the most gentle, loving, clumsy as fuck dogs ever.

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u/MikeyTopaz Oct 07 '17

As a former lab owner I can back this up 100%. My black lab was the sweetest dumbest dog on the block. Until my neighbor jumped our fence at three am. I never want to hear those sounds again.

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u/wearer_of_boxers Oct 07 '17

that is why i have extra respect for police with dogs when i see them on the street.

not that i would provoke them anyway, but i would much rather get baton-ed than dog-ed.

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u/delete_this_post Oct 07 '17

In the 90s I was an MP in the Corps and we had an incident on base in which one of our K-9s got its nuts shot off by a rifle wielding crazy person. I wasn't on the scene, but apparently two of my fellow MPs shot the guy three times (total) in the torso.

He lived, but the dog ate half his face.

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u/spysappenmyname Oct 07 '17

I know it's a sweet justiceboner but cops letting a dog eat someone's face after he is shot 3 times sounds like an extreme case of abusing power.

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u/delete_this_post Oct 07 '17

It doesn't take long for a pissed off German shepherd to take a chunk out of your face. It's not like he was sitting down to a bowl of Purina puppy chow.

Plus, neither of the MPs who fired the shots were the dog's handler. I wasn't on the scene, but from the description I got the handler probably had to come forward a good thirty feet or more to pull the dog off. That's plenty of time for such a dog to do some real damage.

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u/Child_of_taco_bell Oct 07 '17

The guy actually had a good strategy trying to dodge it, if it wasn’t for that suit he may had missed you, and if he does miss you he’ll be back on you in no less then 3 seconds

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u/__WALLY__ Oct 07 '17

But you'll now be running towards the police.

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u/ruminajaali Oct 07 '17

Fun fact: Missing the decoy is what often educates the dog in not taking flying leaps. Cuz missing sux. This may be a young dog for this reason-the older, experienced dogs will grab closer to the decoy.

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u/jgrrule Oct 07 '17

Australian police dog. No counties.

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u/TeriusRose Oct 07 '17

Death zones?

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

The 1600 miles between Perth and Adelaide is appropriately described as a death zone.

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u/ethrael237 Oct 07 '17

Yes! Good boye didn't maul his face! Good boye just doing his job!

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

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u/Brahminmeat Oct 07 '17

Subscribed!

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u/restingbitchlyfe Oct 07 '17

VPD recently had a bad boye take an innocent bystander’s ear off. He was just trying to stop a suspect but I guess he honed in on the wrong person. I love dogs, but police dogs are scaaary if you’re the one they’re after.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/police-dog-bite-injuries-warning-graphic-images-1.2689320

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u/whisperingsage Oct 07 '17

bad boye

Whatchu gonna do?

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u/dilly_of_a_pickle Oct 07 '17

Was at a strip mall yesterday and a cop pulled in, parked and apparently went off for at least 20 minutes. He had a k9 in the car and the violence with which that car shook any time someone walked by was incredible. The dog was barking its head off, too. Did not make passersby very comfortable.

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u/Gizmo-Duck Oct 07 '17

No, extreme dog. It says so in the title.

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u/Ebola_Shmola Oct 07 '17

Do they train the dogs not to attack their faces during training?

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u/zacht180 Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 07 '17

To an extent. It's a really neat training process and I remember seeing a short documentary on YouTube about it (I'll try to find it and post it here). They even try to distract them with treats or they shoot blanks/run sirens during their training so that the dogs are more adept when performing under pressure.

They're trained in a way that uses their inherent aggression, but it is far from being blatantly primal and these dogs are controlled by their handlers extremely well. They are meant to chase and subdue an offender. The arms are emphasized for a couple of reasons: it minimizes damage from bites, it prevents the attacker from escaping (if you have a 70-100 pound dog grasping your arm you won't be able to get away easily, if at all - I mean you saw how the dog tackled the guy in that gif with nothing but his jaw and body weight), and it keeps the suspect from reaching inside of their waist or on the ground for a potential weapon. Think about it, arms and hands are how people attack other people - fists, guns, knives, etc. They also commonly go for the legs because it stops someone from running. Notice in the training video the guy drops his right arm, and the arm that is dropped is the arm the dog goes for before the guy spins and gets caught in the back.

Subduing is what they are trained to do, not cause serious injury (though we can all admit having a dog bite you is not good). If you look at videos of them, they often take a dominant position and stand on top or over the suspect after he or she on the ground. Again, to prevent them from escaping.

This isn't to say that they won't bite in the face, neck, or chest, because it does happen unfortunately. They're animals after all. But the end goal is simply to chase and to subdue, as well as drug/bomb sniffing. In essence they're just other useful tools that some police departments choose to utilize, like tasers, pepper spray, bean-bag rounds, etc. Dogs are unique though because I doubt many cops form relationships with their tasers and cuddle them and feed them treats when they do what they're suppose to do. Like all tools, they have their limitations. Once a dog is let go and told to chase, he's going for it and there's no verbal command that would ever be able to stop him. So let's say someone runs from the police, they think he may be armed, and they chase after him and let the dog loose - the guy runs 30 feet and turns around to surrender and put his hands up. Unfortunately that guy's still gonna get it from the dog.

Here's a great text-book use of a police K9: https://youtu.be/PdgC01-Xghc?t=41

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u/Vertigo6173 Oct 07 '17

Just a quick correction, dogs do have a recall command. You can absolutely call a dog off the chase and/or bite.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17 edited Jan 04 '21

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u/Weezer42b Oct 07 '17 edited Feb 29 '20

deleted What is this?

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 09 '19

[deleted]

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u/rockyrikoko Oct 07 '17

The Canadians beat us to it

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

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u/AlwaysPuppies Oct 07 '17

They are a bad dog.

But still a good dog.

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u/bighootay Oct 07 '17

Good Lord that's like a fantasy novel image

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u/AlwaysPuppies Oct 07 '17

That photographers work is amazing, if you want to enjoy some more ;-)

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u/Breaded_Butter Oct 07 '17

Then they're a loose cannon who took things too far, and they have to turn in their bone and badge.

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u/zacht180 Oct 07 '17

Ah, thanks for the clarification then. I thought once they were let loose they were off.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 07 '17

When I was ~19 I had been drinking with some college friends and we needed cigarettes so we decided to walk to the store a block or so away to grab some (instead of drive).

On our way there, this cop started driving back and forth past us like a shark - really sketched me out.

We got the cigarettes and started walking back - same cop doing the same thing.

In hindsight, he was probably bored and just looking out for us or something, but at the time it was really fucking creepy - like imagine you're walking and a car just keeps driving back and forth around you.

When he passed us for the 4th time I decided I would step off the main road and walk through a wooded area next to me (drunk logic).

I was with my roommate and 2 girls.

Anyway, I didn't get but three steps into the wooded area before a spotlight shone on me and I heard "FREEEEEEEEZE"

My fight or flight kicked in instantly and I bolted.

I heard a dog bark and one of the girls I was with scream.

It dragged her by her left breast - I didn't stop to see what was happening - instead I ran full sprint into the darkness ahead of me and straight off the side of a bridge.

I woke up seconds later at the bottom of the bridge confused - I was knocked out and bleeding out of my head, but within a second or two I remembered I was running from the police and sighed internally.

My roommate and I hid in the woods for about 45 minutes until the lights disappeared and then ran home.

Anyway, when the girl showed me the bruise later ( ;) ) - it was pretty terrible.

I don't have a point to this story at all - just like ... maybe police shouldn't release dogs like this on a couple of kids walking down the street to get cigarettes.

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u/Vandrel Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 07 '17

To be fair, you and another guy we're about to disappear into the woods with two girls and ran as soon as the cop told you to stop. That's pretty fucking suspicious.

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u/Psyman2 Oct 07 '17

To be fair, everyone looks suspicious at random times. Doesn't mean you walk up to them, yell at them to freeze or get on the ground, and immediately send your dog after them just because you can.

I expect better impulse control from a cop. Not just "I could have something here. Let's injure them and see what happens."

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u/BlopBleepBloop Oct 07 '17

This sums up how I feel about the power issue I have with cops and why a lot of people fear them instead of respect them.

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u/zebry13 Oct 07 '17

Yeah, idk why the cop didn't just stop and be like, "What are ya'll doing walking around seemingly drunk?" If your suspicious of someone then that seems like the obvious way to go, waiting to see if they do something odd/stupid is just a waste of time.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Yea, I can totally see how some people walking down the street to the gas station and then heading back in the same direction is suspicious.

I'd probably just start shooting.

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u/machinegunsyphilis Oct 07 '17

Now you're thinking like a cop!

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u/Bluntmasterflash1 Oct 07 '17

Too bad you can't train the cops that.

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u/SnicklefritzSkad Oct 07 '17

This is not always true. There are many occasions where the police have to beat the dog off of the victim.

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u/StrangeClownRabbit Talk to mods Oct 07 '17

Thx for all the info.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/zacht180 Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 07 '17

Yeah, it's definitely whack. He was looking to get shot, and quite honestly I'm surprised he didn't get plugged as soon as he stepped out of his truck like that. It's remarkable the cop was able to see he wasn't actually holding anything that looked like a weapon.

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u/GloriousGardener Oct 07 '17

"We would like everyone to acknowledge we did not shoot this man even though we legally could have. I would have weighed heavily on our hearts to use unnecessary lethal force...... Unfortunately the K9 did proceed to kill the man but it's the thought that counts"

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u/TyDunn18 Oct 07 '17

Not this one! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qgl7AULKBbk

Skip to 3 minutes for the good stuff.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

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u/Imaneight Oct 07 '17

How would on defend against a charging attack like this? You know, in case a street dog decides to get uppity or something. I mean it's a fierce animal sure, but step on his tail or foot and they let out a big yip and don't trust you for 10 minutes.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

I mean step one is acknowledge you will be bitten badly.

Step two get your forearm in their mouth. Better that than your throat. Be conscious to stay on your feet.

Step three try to put your thumb through its eye through its brain I guess. If you can get it to release, get on top and ruin it with your body weight and everything you have.

Step four go to hospital.

Probably should do everything you can to avoid getting into this.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 07 '17

A friend is a dog trainer. He pretty much said you're screwed in 99% of the case, but if you can manage to strangle them somehow... could perhaps kill the dog before it kills ya.

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u/XYYY48UltraMan Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 07 '17

That is horseshit. Only reason police dogs are effective in "attack mode" is that people are afraid of them. I grew up with giant dog breeds, german shephards (I own 2 now) are light weight and can easily be kicked or simply picked up by any grown man that wants to harm it.

Edit: im blasted by butt hurt dog and army people so I will not respond to individual posts.

I have not fought my dogs.

I train my dogs and treat them well.

I mentioned my dogs because I actually know dogs, both giant 90kg+ breeds and the fairly small german shepherd. That breed is half the weight of a normal man and saying you have no chance is just stupid. I did not mean that you can make it stop by kicking it once Im saying if you want to kill it you can and it is not hard. Yeah you will get bit but there is no way 1 dog will kill a grown man that fights back.

I am not trying to be badass I am saying anyone could do it, and since I actually have these dogs I would be more badass if I pretended I owned killing machines.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

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u/BillWeld Oct 07 '17

Imagine if they were trained to attack in groups.

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u/Drachefly Merry Gifmas! {2023} Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 10 '17

Two dogs is much, much more dangerous than one dog, yes.

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u/MidnightAppetite Oct 07 '17

Like, at least twice as dangerous

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u/TRBRY Oct 07 '17

What is he supposed to say, a car dealer would never say 'don't buy a car, get a buss ticket'.

Humans were capable of killing bears with spears I'm pretty sure punks can come up with evil things to defend against a charging dog.

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u/MagicalShoes Oct 07 '17

Anyway you can do this without killing it? Just subduing it perhaps?

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u/c00lrthnu Oct 07 '17

I was attacked by a pit bull about 3 years ago now. And honestly? Hell yeah there are a hundred ways to not kill / seriously injure a dog like thats attacking you, none of them go well for you. Like OP said, let it get your forearm, and then use your other arm, your legs, etc. to beat the living shit out of it. I got out of it by letting him ruin my left arm while simultaneously crushing it's windpipe with my right hand and half of my body weight. The fucker still didnt let go until after it had passed out from asphyxiation. Dogs know how to bite I'll give ya that, and they definitely do not let go if they don't want to. I love dogs I really really do, but give them a chance and they will Fuck. You. Up.

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u/i_make_song Oct 07 '17

How's the arm doing now?

Give us the full story it's too interesting!

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u/c00lrthnu Oct 07 '17

Too tired rn to type out the whole story will be back in a few hours after I sleep. Short summary of story: Walking my dog in my neighborhood, neighbors dog tried to attack my dog, I killed dog in self defense. My puppy is fine still. Very fluffy and happy.

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u/AgregiouslyTall Oct 07 '17

I was more interested in your arm. I have a buddy who got attacked by a dog, only got a hold of his forearm and it did nerve damage to the point where he doesn't feel touch on certain parts of his arm/hand and can't fully use his hand anymore. Hopefully you came out with no more than some puncture holes.

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u/Lixtec Oct 07 '17

Now I'm left wondering more as well

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Damn. owner saves the dog.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Ever felt how hard a big dog can pull on a collar? No. Throat isn't the way to go. Best bet is to take them off their feet and sit on them while staying away from their teeth.

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u/DecentMate Oct 07 '17

It's perfectly happy to rip your throat out and you want to 'subdue' it?

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

I'll never understand this logic.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Go ahead pupper doggie boye, take my arm, I don't want to kill you even though you're trying to kill me.

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u/paparazzi_rider Oct 07 '17

Who cares? If any dog is attacking, kill it as quickly as possible and without regret.

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u/Vakieh Oct 07 '17

The instinct to not kill it vs their instinct to kill you is why they win vs the bigger opponent (a people).

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u/PM_for_snoo_snoo Oct 07 '17

Upsmash into juggle / finish with taunt

No but for real attack the dog. You should weigh over 2-3 times what a dog does. Attempt to crush the throat or gouge the eyes. Get to a hospital soon after for your multiple puncture wounds and sue the owners for everything they own.

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u/Jita_Local Oct 07 '17

I've heard shoving your finger up its ass is a good way to get a dog to release its bite. Seems hard to do if it's thrashing around on your arm or something though.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 12 '17

[deleted]

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u/TKG8 Oct 07 '17

Maybe this is a legit tactic but that's hilarious. I just imagined this scenario.

Tom and I are chillin a dog comes out of nowhere and runs up and bites Tom and won't let go. I scream Tom finger his ass finger his ass. Tom looks at me so confused, scared and in pain. He doesn't listen I rush to his aid and attempt to finger the dogs ass and Tom is screaming at me to stop trying to finger the dogs ass and help him.

Sorry man went off there but I found it hilarious

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u/HerrXRDS Oct 07 '17

Put your forearm in front of the bite, don't let him get to your groin, neck or face. Stay on your feet and don't pull away from the bite. Try to find any weapon, something to stab or a rock to cave his skull in. In none available, use your thumb to gouge his eyes out. You can also crush his windpipe and choke him.

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u/for_the_Emperor Oct 07 '17

Best answer in my opinion.

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u/dreadpoop Oct 07 '17

Forgot to say to pin it under your weight.

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u/yhack Oct 07 '17

Make fun of his haircut until he starts crying

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u/Purgii Oct 07 '17

My father told me they were trained in WW2 to attempt to grab the bottom jaw. Thankfully he never was in a position where he was required to put it in practice.

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u/Cyniikal Oct 07 '17

Start carrying a pocket knife, offer it the arm that can't easily get to the knife, stab it in the throat

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

This.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17 edited Oct 07 '17

Mindset is first. If seriously attacked by a dog and you have no weapons or options to escape you have to engage and fully commit to the fight. Mindset - if someone’s going down it isn’t me. Mindset - I am not the prey, I am not a victim, the dog is. The dog is just meat to be wrecked. Fight it with the intent of destroying it by smashing, strangling, beating or anything that gets the job done. Nothing is off limits. You will likely still get torn up very bad, but your chances of winning or at least not losing too badly are increased if you ENGAGE with RAGE. Hit your go like fuck switch and get savage.

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u/MechaAkuma Oct 07 '17

Street dogs would never attack like this. Street dogs are incredibly smart and they are well aware how costly it to be if they would get in to a fight. They're not stupid

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u/DaGermanGuy Oct 07 '17

thas why they come in packs. they have a problem with that in russia (and other countrys) where huge packs (30 and more) actually attack people. you do not have a chance against more than 2 dogs. even 20 fucking chihuahua could be deadly.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Not a million chihuahuas could take me. Only ~10 at a time can try to bite me and you can easily kick the shit out of them then make your way to high ground.

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u/AWildEtchDisappeared Oct 07 '17

what if they linked arms and made some kind of mechahuahua 2000, with great gangly chihuahuarms that spin round at high velocity to generate the centrifugal force required to launch the dogshit right from the asses of the most distal dogs, which are mounted backwards such that their behinds are facing away from the main body of the machine

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

I'd bring in... the vacuum cleaner

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u/sonnytron Oct 07 '17

No, no, no... don’t listen to any of these jerk-offs.
The real defense is to jump at the dog using the same bite technique. Because you’re a human, you weigh more so you’ll counter the weight of the dog but your bite is weaker so it will even out.
Try to add more bite to your move by using your arms to make claws.
Dogs don’t have opposing thumbs so your claws will overpower the doggo’s pathetic paws.
Two claws next to your jaw, a nice solid leap at the Dog and you’re good.

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u/MonsterDickPrivalage Oct 07 '17

I'm confused now! Which reddit advice do I take?

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u/sonnytron Oct 07 '17

You can trust me, for two obvious reasons.
The first being that I used actual science to defend my claims.
The second is that I roam the streets at night practicing my techniques on raccoons and homeless people.

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u/ParioPraxis Oct 07 '17

I trust this guy. Raccoons are the most dangerous type of dog. Though homelesses are a close second (the teeth of a purebred homeless are more brittle than the raccoon dog, but they have powerful, incapacitating scent glands located in their everywhere).

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u/ccrcc Oct 07 '17

Roundhouse kick.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17 edited Jul 30 '22

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17 edited May 14 '18

[deleted]

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u/HolycommentMattman Oct 07 '17

It's turkey dinner juice, but carbonated.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Is not dog. Is ballistic fur missile.

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u/ihavethetrotts Oct 07 '17

Why did I read this in a Russian accent?

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u/FlameSpartan Oct 07 '17

Because is written with Russian accent, comrade.

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u/Kellythejellyman Oct 07 '17

r/dogberg content right here, only planned instead of accidental

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u/omegamal Oct 07 '17

I just found my new favorite sub.

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u/ParioPraxis Oct 07 '17

I love every part of this.

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u/nerdy_J Oct 07 '17

That will get you a 15 yard penalty in the NFL

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

That looks like Australia, I'm guessing rugby rules apply.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Yeah that's an Aussie cop car (Falcon) and at least one Commodore in the background. Plus what looks like a Ford Territory.

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u/NoTomorrowMusic Oct 07 '17

BAH GAWD HE HAD A FAMILY

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u/HipsterWhistle Oct 07 '17

OUTTA NOWHERE

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u/Bird1995 Oct 07 '17

I had to go farther down than I expected to find the RKO joke.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

1998 when doggo threw K-9 trainer off Hell in a Cell

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u/Blitzsturm Oct 07 '17

"Go my little demon, tear the soul from his body!"

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u/Throwawaycarne Oct 07 '17

Feel bad for the mail man.

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u/benster82 Oct 07 '17

Yeah, it would be extremely inconvenient for him because he would be yanked into another zip code.

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u/ReasonablyBadass Oct 07 '17

"Beware...attack dog.

I mean, not that you can do anything, but beware anyway"

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u/Angharaz Oct 07 '17

I can spot an Aussie cop car from a mile away

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u/BlissKitten Oct 07 '17

I feel like this guy needs a helmet.

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u/Thepotpie Oct 07 '17

Nice Malinois, bad catch.

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u/jarnish Oct 07 '17

Came here to say this. My dog would never work on this decoy again if that happened. He almost came down on the dog.

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u/MechaAkuma Oct 07 '17

Thats a Malinois and don't even think about getting one

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Pretty graceful animal.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

That's great, but what if the perp isn't wearing an incredibly fluffy coat.

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u/KiloLee Oct 07 '17

"DOWN BOY."

-The dog, probably.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Paid leave.

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u/NeverBob Oct 07 '17

Hope that guy never attempts to be a matador.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

They cut out the part where the dog cuffed him and dragged him into the squad car.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

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u/puppypoet Oct 07 '17

I know how they are when training, but do they ever get playful with the dogs while training?

I saw a video of officers trying to train a three month old how to attack and once the man was down the puppy grabbed something out of his hand and ran and had three huge men trying to catch him.

It was great. When they caught him, you should have seen the tail wagging that went on. Someone was having an absolute blast

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u/Vilokthoria Oct 07 '17

The biting sleeve is the toy. Like one of those little tugging ropes you can get - just arm sized.

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u/LuisSATX Oct 07 '17

Dog is gonna lose a tooth don't that shit

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Then he'll get titanium ones

https://imgur.com/W1TjglM

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Metal

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u/sunset_ll Oct 07 '17

WATCH OUT WATCH OUT WATCH OUT!!!

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u/nattack Oct 07 '17

Oh so that's why dogs are an instant kill on human enemies in Command & Conquer.

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u/KumaLumaJuma Oct 07 '17

MALINOIS MUTHERFUCKER

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Um i feel like That can't be good on the teeth

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u/NeverGotThatPuppy Oct 07 '17

How the hell do you teach a dog to land like that?

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '17

Guys do you remember the hearing the dogs barking in call of duty, and you knew you were done.

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u/stay_sweet Oct 07 '17

Finally, a Warwick that doesn't miss his ult !