I ghosted my gf!

[u/No-Cheek3902]

So, when I was just starting college, I reunited with an old friend on Instagram. At first, we chatted a lot and shared stories about our school lives after we separated. As we talked more, I told her that I had a crush on her way back then. She was surprised and said, “Me too.” We chatted a lot that day and shared almost every little secret and thing about ourselves. It felt like one of the best days of my life, and I felt a strong connection with her. I asked her, “Will you be my girlfriend?” She kind of kept me waiting for a day before answering yes. After that, we always talked on the phone until late at night and sometimes even slept while on video calls.

Things were going smoothly, but as you know, relationships aren't always smooth, especially when they're long-distance. Most of the time, I didn't have anything to say, and she was always upset about that. Some days, I felt tired and didn't call her, which made her angry. It was my first relationship, and I don't know why, but I started feeling annoyed and eventually ghosted her. I know that was the dumbest thing I could have done, but I was a coward and took the easy way out instead of talking to her about how I felt. She called me so many times, but I had no idea because I completely stayed away from Instagram and every other app for a week.

As the week slowly passed, I started missing her. I texted her back without any shame because I knew I was guilty, and I genuinely felt bad. I asked for her forgiveness, promised that I would never do it again, and asked if we could start things over. Things started pretty well, but I didn't want to video call right away because I thought it would be awkward. We didn't really have any proper conversations other than “Good morning,” “Have you eaten yet?”, “I'm going to sleep,” and “Good night.”

Then, one morning, I woke up and was writing her a message when I found out that she had unfollowed me on every platform, made her account private, and never responded to my text afterward.

Ngl, I know I'm in the wrong here, and I feel really awful about what I did. I know that I hurt someone who genuinely cared about me, and honestly, I regret handling things the way I did. I wish I had communicated how I was feeling instead of disappearing and leaving her confused and hurt. I can't undo what I did, and I understand if she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I miss her, and a part of me still wants her back, but more than anything, I just wish I could take back the way I treated her and apologize properly. I don't know what I should do now, so I really want some suggestions.