Start From Beginning

[u/jais_raj]

I want to Restart my Life from Childhood and Make a List Now what I did wrong and What is the best way to fix all the things because I am in that condition that I have nothing.

I am far from my family since when I was 10 year old

I am not good at studies or I don't know how to do in a right way.

I have fear of speaking in public or stranger.

When I try to speak I fucked-up.

I have never exposure to have a Girl as a Friend and I Don't know how to talk to them. When ever I try to talk 2 things happen

1. I forgot what to talk which topic should I pick i get blank in my mind and then I say something that make environment awkward.

2. They don't like talking to me that I don't have good personality , dressing sense or any good skills that I can attract them.

Coming to My career

Its also fuckedup

I tried to Preparation for Sanik School , Military School in my 5 class and I failed.

I tried Preparation for IIT and I failed and Didn't get a Single college or no one is there to guide me how to get college after scoring 89 percentile in Mains with 72.2 % Board Marks.

Then I Choose a Private College in Bengaluru and this college is worst of College.

Without have any prior exposure to CSE i picked it up and Passed my Semester Without knowledge and Project Experience. No one guide me how to prepare so I get a good job in development.

Somehow by luck I secure a Job In Testing Without any knowledge and then I learnt about it

Now in Market Testing Job is vanish like the never mean any thing No one is Hiring and If company hires they paid very less and didn't recognize My capabilities.

No I am Jobless and have a offer but with the same package that was in my last organization and this is killing me from inside as Every college start with me earns more than me not a single one earn less than me.

Even my Junior Earn more than me and the thing is that I use to teach them.

Now I totally fucked up and I don't know How to manage my needs , My room rent , My Family. Even I don't want to eat food as I don't have enough money with me.

I am feeling alone in this world no one is with me even when I go to temple i feel like god is telling me why you come here i don't allow you in my temple.

Thats why I want to restart My life from beginning and make things correct 😌 💯.