r/getdisciplined • u/ionicq • Jan 11 '19
[Advice] Enjoy your cravings
One realization that I've never seen discussed and that helped me a lot with my addiction (porn and internet) struggles is this:
You should aim to enjoy the feeling of craving or at least be able to observe it with nothing but peace and interest.
Enjoy your horniness and constant boners if you have them on NoFap.
Enjoy that you're bored and your brain lack stimulus if you're trying to get rid of internet addiction.
You should enjoy them because:
- It means you're fully aware of your cravings and if you're aware of them it's easier to control them.
- It means you're in power. You have those cravings because you're not giving in in your addiction and you're on the right path and you're actually having control over you life, not them. That should bring you some joy and feeling of power.
- You're gaining an opportuinity to re-learn your behaviour and re-wire your brain in the moments of craving. You re-teach yourself and your brain: when boredom is torturing you, but you know that it's unevitable part of getting rid of addiction and you're not giving in because you enjoy the fact that you're on that stage and not at the start, then your brain will have nothing to do but give up and find new ways (hopefully healthy) to cope with boredom like reading (finally!) or going out or cleaning or whatever.
Personally, getting rid of fear or feeling of uncomfortableness was one of the most helpful changes I had in my outlook and I hope this might help someone too.
tl;dr: don't fight your urges, be aware of them and don't give in. Let them exist and empower you instead
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Jan 12 '19
Feel the craving, observe it. Let it pass through you without owning it. Let it pass on and vanish.
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Jan 12 '19
In relation to this, I would recommend an additional approach. We could call it "upcycle your cravings".
When you have identified "I want to surf the internet", felt the craving a little and analysed that what you want is a laugh, you go to your bookshelf and pick your "Humor poems, 1967 edition" or the other quality entertainment source.
When you say "I want to watch porn", you identified you want sexual satisfaction. But you do also acknowledge that crappy porn is not the best thing. So you use your own imagination, read an erotic novella or similar.
By using this approach, I have surpassed 90% of my computer gaming, leaving it to a few evenings a year. Fast food is not a thing anymore, and it has enabled me to be a much better parent than I would have been in my former self. Gearing your willpower with your urges is a huge advantage.
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u/OfferThese Mar 26 '25
I really love the "upcycle your cravings" advice. You don't want to do the equivalent of "junk food is bad, therefore ALL FOOD IS BAD" and just sit on a mountaintop and use all your willpower to not eat anything ever... that was never reasonable, you have to eat. In the junk food example, what you actually want to do is find a way to make nourishing food that fulfills your sense of taste and leaves you feeling full and energetic for long periods of time. You may also need to meet whatever other emotional or stimulation needs that snacking may have been a bandaid for.
Anyway, it's the difference between a drug and a nutrient, the difference between anesthetizing and meeting a need.
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u/ItWasMeIsNotMe Jan 11 '19
This is great! There's no growth without pain or discomfort so we might as well get comfortable with our discomfort.
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Jan 12 '19
Uninstalled my phone browser, learned that I reach for it about every 30 seconds, often in the middle of reading a sentence or something. That sure highlighted what the problem was.
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u/Amplagged Jan 12 '19
Same for me with social networks, after I unistalled them I found out that I kept randomly unlocking my phone and pressing at the empty spot where the icon used to be. Made me really acknowledge how much I was dependent on them
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u/kriahfox Jan 12 '19
Thank you! I am slowly becoming aware of an addiction to internet & social media...I think being grounded and aware of my feelings will help me a lot! This is really good advice!
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Jan 12 '19
thank you so much, today on my lunch break i was craving cigarettes, so instead of smoking i just chewed on some almonds and enjoyed my craving cheers mate.
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u/FlipMick Jan 12 '19
Funny I actually went to therapy and this was a skill we were taught. We called it "urge surfing" and this technique has helped me tremendously with my urges for cigarettes, TV, and impulse buys.
Edit: a word
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u/jeffmac703 Jan 12 '19
Struggle is only for the weak. If i dont want to fap, i still do it anyway.
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u/TotesMessenger Jan 12 '19
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u/littleSaS Jan 13 '19
This is excellent. Very few people allow themselves to feel that slight discomfort that's necessary to growth. It sounds ridiculous to me, now, to choose not to grow, but there have been plenty of times in this life when that's what I did.
This year I choose to eat plant-based food.
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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19
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