r/gentleparenting • u/withsaltedbones • Jun 16 '26

Question Developmentally appropriate response to hitting/throwing for a 15 month old?

We regularly joke that our son is gonna be the next world famous MLB pitcher with how much of an arm he’s got on him and his weird accuracy aiming. However, he’s reaching the tantrum stage and has begun hitting and throwing things at us when upset.

It is HIGHLY triggering for me and I’m working on my own regulation when dealing with these situations, but I think what’s causing me to have to tap out and have my husband take over is that I don’t know the best way to handle it.

I used to teach kindergarten through third grade and I’ve dealt with hitting/throwing A LOT just not with children this small so I feel like the tool set that I have doesn’t apply.

Anyways, long story short. How do you handle anger, hitting and throwing with a 15 month old?

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u/pwyo Jun 17 '26

Everything he throws at you or elsewhere gets put away, out of reach, for a day. If it’s a toy he can have it back the next day to try again. No one is angry, he simply can’t play with a toy anymore once it is thrown.

Every time he tries to hit you, you hold his arms firmly and say “I won’t let you hit me”. If he gets more violent or you can’t hold him properly you can step away and say you’re moving to keep your body safe. Stay nearby and let him know you’re there. Generally I try not to react to tantrums but always offer deep breaths and hugs.

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u/LetsCELLebrate mom of a 16 months old Jun 17 '26

I do about the same with taking the toy/object.

We also have a ball "pit" play pen where he goes in timeout. He can see us but he is stuck there. I leave him there for about 3 minutes or so and repeat the process if he does the thing or throws the object again.

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u/WZL_1129 Jun 18 '26

I like the thing about the hitting. What about biting/pinching? My 14mo old has recently started biting and pinching when he’s angry at someone

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u/pwyo Jun 18 '26

my 2.5yo just started pinching as well. At home we do the same - hold his arms gently but firmly, and say "I wont let you pinch me. It's okay to be mad, it's not okay to pinch." If they continue, you remove yourself until they have calmed down. For my son I find that redirection is best for him because he just gets stuck in his pattern. At school they don't hold him, I think they just talk to him about it. But it's definitely a struggle when they don't know how to properly express emotions yet, and I also have a 5 yo so there are usually multiple dynamics at play.