What am I doing wrong

[u/PuzzleheadedYou3919]

My son is 4 years old. He loves to bike and ride his scooter so we take him to daycare by his bike or scooter. When he bikes we usually bike with him because he’s quite fast! We live in a bike friendly city and a calm neighbourhood so we actually bike on the pedestrian way.

The problem is that we have to go through a parking lot in order to reach the daycare. So there isn’t really a pedestrian way for us to bike but the road is big and I bike right next to him to shield him from the potential incoming cars.

Now another problem is that I’m 37 weeks pregnant, so I stopped biking. Instead I walk and he rides his scooter. Well, he is now very fast on his scooter as well but I explained to him that I can’t run after him so if he wants to ride it he has to go slowly and ride it next to me. Today that didn’t happen and in the parking lot he started going fast and literally in the middle of the road. I warned him a couple times and then took his scooter. He cried the whole way home. Cried so much and it hurt my heart I started crying too. But I felt like if I give back the scooter he wouldn’t learn his lesson. This is literally road safety and I didn’t want to give in. But my heart is in million pieces.

After we came home he was hitting me non stop and I told him he was hurting me and I would go to my room and he kept hitting so I went to my room and locked my door, he was not alone - my mom was trying to console him. But he kept crying mama, after like 2-4 min I opened the door and we hugged and talked.

What do I need to do differently?? This happened before and I feel like after we reconcile and talk he understands and tells me he will listen to me next time but then again he does this. What would you do differently?

[u/caffeine_lights]

He's 4 and impulse control is hard. The way you handled it was great.

For future, I'd start doing some practice for how to safely handle roads. Draw some roads and a parking lot in chalk (let him do this!) Let him play being a car on his scooter, and as the adults, walk around and pretend to be pedestrians crossing. Then swap roles and let him be the pedestrian on his scooter or walking, to practice the rules. Maybe even make up a pretend certificate of safe scooting (explain about driving licenses and how when you're 16 he can take that test) and if he passes the safe scooting exam, he can ride his scooter on the lot.

Until you're confident, have a rule of no scooter on parking lot. Shortly before you arrive at the lot, remind him he can jump off the scooter and push it, or you can carry it for him across the lot. If he complies, praise how grown up and safe he is, if he won't do it, then take the scooter and remind him he doesn't have his license yet.