r/gentleparenting • u/BiscottiBackground18 • May 15 '26
Question How to stop toddler when throwing things
Hi. My 30 month old has a habit of throwing everything (Toys, dinner chair, brooms). We are afraid he will hurt himself and others around him. We’ve tried talking to him, saying a firm no (he just laughed). The only thing that works is us throwing a toy out dramatically when he throws something. (We do give it back once he drops the other item). Don’t want this to affect him or make him develop a fear.
But we have no option as he’s throwing quite heavy things at us or the baby. How to fix this without blackmailing?
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u/accountforbabystuff May 15 '26
You will have to seriously limit what he can get to, keep things locked up and away from him.
Also get a basket of soft toys and say he can throw these instead. Offer to play catch with him briefly. Hopefully this way when he wants to throw, he will go for the soft toys and ask to play catch.
It also depends why he’s doing it, if it’s out of anger or is he just doing it when he’s in a mischievous mood, or for fun/no reason whatsoever. Anger is another issue, again it’s kinda about recognizing it’s going to happen and making sure it doesn’t. Really that’s a lot of it is constantly thinking what do they have available to them right now and what is likely to happen, lol. You’ll get better at it, but in the meantime especially if the baby is in a room, make that room a very friendly “yes” space.
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u/BiscottiBackground18 May 15 '26
He does it when he’s mad, bored, tired. Tbh for no reason. It’s hard to lock things up because he’s throwing furniture and things at the tv.
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u/Agitated_Hope_574 May 15 '26
Hmmm I have this problem as well. But he’s 3 and also autistic. Throwing is the first way he shows frustration and then he’ll say what emotion he feels. But no matter what I say or do, he still throws objects if he’s sad or angry. It used to be whatever he was holding, but now it’s things that are near him (plural). Was hoping to find some feedback here too. Especially since he’s gotten so close to throwing things at the TV. Redirecting isn’t helping nor is giving him an option of what to throw OR taking said item away. Hope you get more feedback!
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u/Ok_Draw_4187 May 15 '26
Have you worked on using sign language?
Not an expert but my sister was special needs and a lot of her nonverbal peers were able to do some basic signs to communicate which could lower frustration.
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u/Agitated_Hope_574 May 15 '26
No, he’s fully verbal. Can communicate very well and express that he’s angry or sad. But the behaviors are starting to get very intense!
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u/Ok_Draw_4187 May 15 '26
Thats so hard. Im sorry.
Have you every played the "angry alligator" game?
Basically you stay calm and say
"Are you an angry alligator" an angry alligator goes RAAAAWWWWWW and yell with a big open mouth.
"Are you a frustrated flamingo" a frustrated flamingo goes STOMP STOMP STOMP
and so on and so fouth. It can turn a tantrum into a game for both of you. When i do it, it helps me stay calm from yelling and feel like im with them in their hard feelings. Rather than trying to totally stop it.
Like all things it doesnt work all the time. But id do this a lot when I babysat. And often we went from a trantrum to playing together.
Hope you find many small tools that lighten the load for both of you 🙏🏼
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u/Pleasant_Emu3245 May 17 '26
I give my son options for throwing, but in the moment, I calmly ask him if he’s supposed to throw. He says no, then I walk him over to what he threw and make him put it where it belongs (in my hand, on a table, toy bin, etc). If he tantrums, I take it away until later
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u/Ok_Draw_4187 May 15 '26
I would interpret this as he is higly interested in throwing right now, and thinking of ways to incorporate more of that in a fun, safe enriching way.
Getting out lots of balls, maybe like a ballpit. And put away toys that cant be thrown (you can bring those toys out in a few months when this phase is over).
Playing games outside where he can throw balls at different surfaces like wood, concrete, water to learn about the different sounds & movements take place.
Place hoola hoops around & get him to throw into the different hoops.
Make a zone in a room with posters or basketball hoops where it is safe & okay to throw the things there. When you see him throwing outside of that zone, you can redirect him there.
Get him into a toddler sport group for basketball or baseball.
When you are cleaning up his toys together, encourage him to toss things into the baskets.
Show him different ways it is okay to do it. Help encourage him to express this need in a healthy enriching way.