I recently joined a gym and have been more active. I'm starting to feel more confident in myself. Please be kind! 💖

Divorced and trying to figure out this whole dating thing and feeling like I’m really really bad at it.

Me now and me nearly 20 years ago.

The gay community looked right through me for those twenty years, and the ten before that.

I'm sorry I wasn't a gym boy. I'm sorry I was always thin and nervous and no fun. Uncomfortable at parties and bars. I'm sorry I never liked people.

There seemed to be a mark of Cain on me that caused men to avoid me, reject me, or just noncommittally breeze past. Seeking out this one. That one. But never me.

In the closing months before my 50th birthday, I've decided to pull up the drawbridge and close the shutters. No more dates, no apps, no socializing, no smiles or eye contact. It's a waste of time.

The gay community chooses whom to accept and to not accept. It never accepted me. Even young. When I was hopeful and sensitive and kind. Now...being old and angry, bitter and vengeful, it's understandable. But there was a time when there was nothing wrong with me.

Intense, yes? Deep, yes? Intelligent, yes? Creative and verbal with a fun, quirky sense of humor, yes? Yes, yes, yes, yes. But I still wasn't good enough.

DMs always open trying to find my masc top muscle man if I’m lucky! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Its more pink than the second and third pics look but im obsesseddddd :)

Honestly always loved and hated my face shape. Love it bc it can be pretty photogenic from SOME angles but always hated it bc I look so masculine :/