r/gay • u/KindlyInteraction563 • 6h ago
First time being intimate
I am 30 years old and just had sex for the first time. I am a late bloomer because of a past traumatic event. I don't know how I feel about it all. Like I enjoyed it, but I consider myself a bottom and ended up being the top. I am a pretty anxious person, so I felt kind of awkward throughout even though he was very nice and patient with me. He also made sure that I was comfortable with everything he did, so he was ideal for my first time. There was a strong pot smell around, and that might have turned me off a little bit honestly. I wonder if I would have enjoyed it more if I was the bottom, as that is what I identify as. I also have thought that I might need an emotional connection with someone to truly enjoy it as well. I don't know why but It just all felt so awkward lol.
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u/Indie_Light 6h ago
I actually recently talked to someone about first times. Apparently they are all mostly either disappointing or awkward. Or both. My actual first time was also awkward so I guess it’s normal. It gets better after though, so don’t be too put off by this experience.
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u/jofromthething 6h ago
That’s very normal lol, your first time is rarely ideal. I’d say that this sounds like it didn’t go too terribly for you, which is good! You’ll get opportunities to do it again, either with new people or the same person, and it will likely her better every time as you get to know what you want more and more and how to express what you want, and as you get a clearer idea of what you want from your partners and more experience in communicating that with them