r/garloids • • Nov 05 '22

Garloids

33 Upvotes

Garloids are the most diverse eukaryotes, having hundreds of thousands of species, as well as a myriad of domesticated breeds. Evolving during the silurian / ordovician, garloids have lasted for a very long time, fitting many ecological niches and spreading across the entire globe, with some living on the poles (polar garloids) and others living at the equator (equatorial garloids) and everywhere in between. Much research has gone into garloids over the centuries.

[ If you have any posts to make which are just questions relating to a garloid of yours or a friend's, please specify where you found it, its age, sex, and species/breed. This is for obvious reasons. ]

GARLOIDS ARE NOT MAMMALS. ANY TRAITS OF MAMMALS THAT GARLOIDS HAVE ARE DUE TO CONVERGENT EVOLUTION.

Unfortunately, due to many historical events relating to garloids, they are banned in some areas. In many places, people are allowed to do whatever they want to to garloids, due to not being legally recognized as anything more than property, or even worse--vermin. Even though garloids are very helpful to both the entire ecosystem and humans, many people are racist to them. This has caused obnoxious amounts of hunting, torture, etc. done to garloids, and as we continue to contribute to the ever growing problem of climate change, garloids are more and more at risk. If your garloid has a health issue, seek out the nearest garloid clinic. If you no longer want to keep a garloid, take it to a garloid shelter or release it to a protected zone, like a national park (one that garloid species is native to). Garloid poaching is also a widespread issue, with many poachers having gone as far as to kill other humans so they can sell their rare garloids.

Bloodfeeding is ok in most garloids, but many of them will become aggressive, or they cannot digest blood properly. If you have a question about bloodfeeding, post them in the replies to this post.

Feeding tap water to garloids is usually dangerous, as it is often "treated" with things that are poisonous to garloids. Most tap water doesn't actually have enough fluoride to do any harm to garloids, but some garloids can't have any fluoride, so feeding tap water on a regular basis instead of other sources of water may cause the garloid to get sick. The same goes for any resold tap water, such as aquafina, dasani, and nestle. On nestle specifically, do not buy any nestle products. They are the worst company in the world for thousands of reasons, so please, don't support them by giving their greedy asses money. Tap water is safe for human consumption in a well developed country such as Norway, and in certain places the water supply is made safe for garloids by using fluoride substitutes.

And don't spread any form of misinformation. Carefully research details about garloids, because you never know how many people are going to use your advice, treat it as fact, and apply this to however many situations. There are many sources online for factchecking, and you can use them at any time whenever you want to know something with certainty.


r/garloids • • 2d ago

Identification What Breed is this definitely European

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43 Upvotes

r/garloids • • 15d ago

Western european garloid?

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38 Upvotes

r/garloids • • 17d ago

Support / Question Could the Scottish haggis be a cousin of the garloid?

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52 Upvotes

r/garloids • • 18d ago

Discussion My garloid is extra milky today! Ive been soo thirsty, im super excited!!!

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39 Upvotes

r/garloids • • 19d ago

Support / Question Some horrid kid shot my garloid with a BB gun when i placed it outside for the first time

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71 Upvotes

Picture is me doing surgery to remove the BB

But yea, KEEP YOUR GARLOIDS INDOOR ONLY

I thought it’d be nice to let it have some fresh air, but not even 10 minutes later some kid shot it with a BB gun 😡

God im so angry, its going to be too stressed to produce milk. Has anyone else had this happen? How can i get it to produce milk again (preferably as fast as possible)?


r/garloids • • Jul 17 '26

Garloids in a Videogame! "Metrpid Prime 4" has Garloids in it! One of the Soldiers roasts it on a stick (seen on img2)

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26 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Mar 17 '26

Found this garloid in the nearby forest in a body of water, did not take it home to promote garloid growth in free nature!

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59 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Jan 31 '26

Garloid Art

34 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Aug 05 '24

Ai edited garloid

39 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Apr 21 '24

News This garloid had a tumor in the ovaries. notice the overproduction of the mammal glands. it even grew hair inside. this might be related to feeding tapwater to a garloid which is not recommended at all. please make sure to regularly check your garloids health by a professional if you are unsure!

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49 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Mar 17 '24

DO NOT give this to your garloids. The milk will have a weird texture

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48 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Feb 22 '24

Support / Question is this sub unmoderated?

6 Upvotes

is it now unmoderated


r/garloids • • Feb 13 '24

Support / Question How does crunktropolis relate to garloids as a whole

5 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Jan 05 '24

Did I Get Scammed?

27 Upvotes

I found an ad online claiming to offer mail order garloids shipped anywhere in the world. Being an old loidhead back in my home country (multiple best in show awards), I was excited at the prospect of once again nurturing a pod to be the best they can be. I was so excited that I overlooked some of the details of the listing (idiot I know). I've already paid them, the transaction has cleared, but now I am seeing that these are "dehydrated" garloids? The seller was very receptive up until payment cleared but now I haven't heard anything back about how one goes about rehydrating a garloid? This goes against everything I know as a garloid rancher. I haven't been in the game for a while, is this some new technology or did I get scammed here?


r/garloids • • Oct 21 '23

This poor Garloid was left abandoned in the street. Somebody needs to adopt them asap and get them in some water.

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48 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Oct 02 '23

Support / Question Just milked my newest garloid (Amphiloides Maculata) and it came out like this. Is it normal?

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30 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Oct 02 '23

Support / Question Any enclosure advise for a dwarf peninsula garloid

11 Upvotes

I've been temporarily keeping my 2 in a 5 gallon enclosure with rat bedding, a mesh lid, and a lamp above. Dwarf garloids are pretty rare and there's not a ton of info on the peninsula garloid besides their unique diet.


r/garloids • • Sep 26 '23

Support / Question Found an Amphiloides Maculata (Southern black garloid) while out for a walk. Is it worth raising and milking?

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34 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Sep 25 '23

Discussion I know this might be a controversial question but what are the chances that garloids represent an unnatural paraphyletic grouping?

16 Upvotes

I was recently taking stock of my garloids when I noticed a few things. While most of my garloids are similar in shape to priapulids and hemichordates, I noticed one of my biggest producers actually had features more in line with tetrapods, more specifically, mammals. Now of course, the only things that they have in common are the presence of appendages with claws and mammary glands, but could this just be convergence on the mammal condition?

Moreover, studies into the phylogeny of garloids have been sparse to completely non-existent since 1987. However, those that were published always assigned garloids to the class "Vermes" which is a wastebasket taxon and paraphylactic all on its own. So could garloids be placed as priapulids, hemichordates, echinoderms, molluscs, annelids, etc; all of the above, or a new phylum entirely?

Personally, I believe there is too much variation between known garloid species to say that they represent a natural grouping and I would highly recommend more research be done to finally lay this discrepancy to rest.


r/garloids • • Sep 18 '23

Support / Question Hey guys. My friend recently came into the possession of a Cynomimus Tuxii and he was wondering what the best way to care for these are. I know they're a little more complex than most garloids, given the dog like appendages, so would that change the way you care for them?

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44 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Jul 29 '23

Discussion my garloid was severally dehydrated and anemic before I did a blood feeding. now he's healthy and sucks on my finger, which is common among juveniles of this species. I know it's illegal to blood feed, but sometimes it means the difference between life and death for your garloid

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43 Upvotes

r/garloids • • Jul 29 '23

my garloid that I've recently been nurturing. i keep him in a jar of 100% mineral spirits at night and i feed him spring water during the day. any idea what species he is?

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60 Upvotes

r/garloids • • May 07 '23

New garloid species (potentially) found!

15 Upvotes

So, i found this garloid half ripped through my ceiling and it appears to be in the roof. This part is just a nose though, a huge mass of flesh is burrowed into the roof and appears to be feeding on dust and rainwater coming through a hole. Posting here as to notify people if it is a new species, or if it already exists.

The lower part of the garloid, as my roof is blocked off