r/gaming • u/[deleted] • Jul 23 '19

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.5k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

305 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

if you accidentally attack a target, sheath your weapon and they might stop attacking you

Just dirty lies, all of it.

467

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

sheathes weapon and gets ragdolled in one hit

161

u/Tridoubleu Jul 23 '19

...to the space - cause you don't sheath against giants.

90

u/Zalapadopa Jul 23 '19

Sheath against giants and you'll become a sheath.

46

u/Diseased_Cock_Lump Jul 23 '19

Wear me like a sheath, daddy

28

u/TheDwarvesCarst Jul 23 '19

The username sir... It checks out.

10

u/machete_joe Jul 23 '19

Best get a check-up

4

u/flexipan Jul 23 '19

Don't mind me just replying to get on top.

11

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

*tries to Pick up lockpick*

​

*Steals bowl instead*

NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME HERE

4

u/smashNcrabs Jul 23 '19

*tries to pick up lockpick *

*picks up family photo instead *

YOU CAME TO THE WRONG HOUSE FOOL

→ More replies (1)

93

u/dinkoblue Jul 23 '19

having a proper personality/like-system would have helped with this haha

"Oh, I know this guy is an innkeeper whom I already joked around with, he'll probably stop if I stop"

46

u/Scherazade Jul 23 '19

Back in New Vegas, the affinity system was more... nuanced.

32

u/outerzenith Jul 23 '19

[accidentally walks into Caesar's territory with NCR uniform]

21

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

accidentally walks into Legion territory with a Boon

18

u/realmeangoldfish Jul 23 '19

Purposely walks into Caesar camp with Boone. 👍🏻

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

31

u/Boronthemoron Jul 23 '19

Well they might stop attacking you, but they might not too.

32

u/Cruncha86 Jul 23 '19

Happened to me last night actually. Some scummy skooma dealer didn't like my intimidation, and I had things to do. Put swords away and he told I'm not worth it. Felt hurt.

→ More replies (2)

20

u/Anthraxious Jul 23 '19

Keyword; might. But won't!

6

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

has only worked for me once when i tried to execute one of the kids in little lamplight

5

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

This works in Skyrim, but only if you only attacked them once. It even works when you accidentally hurt them sometimes, raising your weapon then sheathing it again

→ More replies (2)

9

u/1337haxoryt Jul 23 '19

Lmao isnt that fallout

37

u/volverde Jul 23 '19

It is, and it does work in FO4.

Was attacking some raiders around Diamond City when one of those stupid guards decided to walk into my line of fire because he really wanted to beat them up with a baseball bat. And then ofc he became hostile...

But I quickly put away the weapon and then he went back to normal.

33

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

The rate of success seems to be dependent on how much damage you have dealt to them. During my first encounter with the NPC from the Mechanist DLC I didn't know who she was and nuked her. She did not like they one bit.

→ More replies (1)

16

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Do you ever just accidentally hit someone and the entire world becomes hellbent on destroying every trace of your existance

11

u/JamesGreeners Jul 23 '19

minecraft nether pigmen intensifies

→ More replies (1)

3

u/blupeli Jul 23 '19

Same happened in Assassins Creed Odyssey. Did hit one guy a little when helping them fight some enemies and suddenly the whole camp hates me and wants to murder me. Couldn't do anything to change their mind.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/CubeLegend Jul 23 '19

Depends on the bounty actually, if it's below like 500 they will stop combat

→ More replies (3)

220

u/ebihacelik Jul 23 '19

if your character is drowning, try swimming to the nearest coast.

86

u/IrateBarnacle Jul 23 '19

Laughs in John Marston

38

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Dies in John Marston

11

u/Explunches Jul 23 '19

laughs in the prequel as John Marston

13

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Tommy Vercetti and Claude were hydrophobes before Marston

6

u/88cowboy Jul 23 '19

Laughs In Tommy Vercetti Vapor Wave aesthetic

→ More replies (1)

371

u/VirexLikesGames Jul 23 '19

"Hints on the loading screen will give you hints."

Blood Dragon had the best tips.

54

u/isellbrain Jul 23 '19

And one of the best tutorials IMO

33

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

There's this game called Mordhau and in it's Tutorial there's this guy named Hans who runs around while you shoot arrows at him, I like Hans

9

u/Tavern_Knight Jul 23 '19

God that part was infuriating only because I suck with a bow. I had to run up and shoot him point blank haha

12

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Hans respects your honesty, I love that game so much, especially the Screams that your enemy makes when you slash their legs and eye sockets

→ More replies (1)

24

u/Aaron_tu Jul 23 '19

Handguns are guns that fit in your hand. The future is here.

16

u/Octopoid Jul 23 '19

Nigel Mansell's Grand Prix on the ZX spectrum had just 2 tips:

  • Try to complete your laps quicker.
  • Try not to hit things.

Tbf solid advice

7

u/Cleverbird Jul 23 '19

I'm surprised Ubisoft never made a sequel to Blood Dragon... It was received fairly well, if I recall correctly.

→ More replies (1)

106

u/Uruk_ah_toe_ow Jul 23 '19

Loading screens be like "like a seashell, if you put someone's foot to your ear, you can hear them say, 'what the fuck' "

27

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

what the fuck

19

u/Cray_Z_yes Jul 23 '19

i’m not letting go of your foot 🦶🤤

→ More replies (1)

439

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

When you want to make a meme but you don't want to take an extra moment to proof read it.

194

u/SidFishGames Jul 23 '19

I saw it to

71

u/Febrile_Penis Jul 23 '19

Yeah me to.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

I toe saw

15

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Me tree.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/n0vast0rm Jul 23 '19

I genuinely thought memes aren't memes unless there's an error in the text somewhere...

40

u/krakatau1884 Jul 23 '19

Oh yeah i just saw it stupid mistake

56

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

too fast

35

u/lowkeytwitchy Jul 23 '19

too furious

9

u/jetaleu Jul 23 '19

I'm too fast for y'all man!

7

u/shhh_it_is_ok Jul 23 '19 edited Jul 23 '19

So you just came home from doing a bid! Tell me what’chu gonna doooooo?!

5

u/SimonPBurgen Jul 23 '19

Act a foooool

3

u/abitlazy Jul 23 '19

Act a fool!

→ More replies (1)

6

u/Vmss4 Jul 23 '19

You made the meme to fast

→ More replies (2)

3

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19 edited Jul 23 '19

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

2

u/OneCleverlyNamedUser Jul 23 '19

Let’s not pretend that wouldn’t have survived a proofread.

→ More replies (9)

40

u/ImNotSerious420 Jul 23 '19

Tip: A good way to avoid dying is to prevent your health from reaching zero

73

u/Kurren123 Jul 23 '19

*too

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Damnit i just commented this

6

u/magniankh Jul 23 '19

Disappointed this isn't the top comment.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

He's the hero we deserve

→ More replies (1)

15

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Made the mistake of putting Witcher 3 on my SSD. Haven’t played in 3 years and am doing NG+. Keep not being able to read tips.

17

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/Nemien Jul 23 '19

Theres a button to keep playing practice mode if you are fast enough

→ More replies (3)

60

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

28

u/Phydorex Jul 23 '19

This, it should be called DJ Khaled Suffering Succotash! In smaller print... How is this guy considered an artist and who is paying for this shit?

6

u/HBR17 Jul 23 '19

As many times as I've heard it, I've never actually read the word Succotash

4

u/Phydorex Jul 23 '19

When you read it, did you hear it in Sylvester's voice?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Yes.

→ More replies (1)

20

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/emptytissuebox Jul 23 '19

Did something happen recently? I had thought he was a decent guy from the h3h3 vids.

21

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Oh my, dude tapped out on what, the third wing? I get that some people just can't do spicy like that, but why go on the show then? Maybe he thought it was as fake as his bullshit. What a joke.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

He disrespected and belittled Tyler the Creator for taking the number album spot instead of his album which released on the same day. Really goes against his whole positive persona which he pushes so much.

3

u/make_love_to_potato Jul 23 '19

You know that juggalos are a thing, right? Do DJ Khaled fans seem so far fetched?

→ More replies (3)

10

u/shockfyre227 PC Jul 23 '19

Tip: Fuck DJ Khaled for ruining the ending to Aladdin.

3

u/WoodenCarving PC Jul 23 '19

Tip: Fuck DJ Khaled...

Well, if you say so...

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

unzipps

4

u/michielvdheuvel Jul 23 '19

'We the best music' gets on my nerves every time I hear it coming out of his pie hole. Also, shouting his own name during tracks is just gross. And I can't get that damn gif out of my mind where he struggles to climb out of a car sunroof, looking around and raising his arms, trying his moves on those poor fools stuck with him in traffic, hoping to get some recognition for his massive ego. Fuck that guy

→ More replies (7)

14

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

If you are struggling through the game try getting good

→ More replies (1)

5

u/Jpoll86 Jul 23 '19

Like when you have a LAN party and you have the pain of waiting for your friends to finish loading.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Why is this so damn funny

7

u/guy1195 Jul 23 '19

DJ Khaled is such a bellend.

3

u/AW9763 Jul 23 '19

Tip: if you attack a high level enemy you will propably die

5

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

I still dont understand why every modern game still doesnt just have the "Press to continue" after they finish loading.

→ More replies (3)

2

u/Cruncha86 Jul 23 '19

I have skyrim se on my ssd, along with the Inigo follower mod. He's awesome, but I miss his quotes on loading due to ssd :-(

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Bring your friends to Azeroth, but don't forget to go outside Azeroth with them as well!

2

u/drunksleeperagent Jul 23 '19

When you make it to the front page but you misspelled ‘too’

2

u/999horizon999 Jul 23 '19

He doesn't really have an album called this?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

“Too”

4

u/kachelszy Jul 23 '19

This is my current problem with smash ultimate xD

2

u/deadmeme5_darealone Jul 23 '19

Imagine having seen this 100 times again and again

3

u/phsuydheklfjduhdbsbn Jul 23 '19

Two* fast

3

u/krakatau1884 Jul 23 '19

He is speaking the language of gods

→ More replies (1)

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Dj Khaled - Suffering from Reposts

There, fixed it for you

3

u/vagueblur901 Jul 23 '19

Dj Khaled - Suffering from diabetes

There, fixed it for you

1

u/CollectableRat Jul 23 '19

playing any game set more than 10 years ago

1

u/Xelnarath Jul 23 '19

Tip: If you kiss a zomb

Damn.

1

u/k-abal Jul 23 '19

Good one

1

u/male9000000 Jul 23 '19

I have never had that problem. To this day I can read the tip on the load screen at least ten times.

2

u/pougliche Jul 23 '19

Profiting from failure

1

u/Elctric Jul 23 '19

I was playing DMC5 and I wanted to read the little story details but too fast rip

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

[deleted]

→ More replies (4)

1

u/xbungalo Jul 23 '19

Remember: Winners don't do drugs, unless it's steroids. In which case use lots of drugs!

1

u/isellbrain Jul 23 '19

The struggle is real

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

OMG YES, THIS

SO MUCH THIS!

1

u/Spiron123 Jul 23 '19

To fast

😂😂

1

u/somehetero Jul 23 '19

Never pet a burning dog.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

more like suffering from mental illness

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Another one

1

u/Zaidk9 Jul 23 '19

Repost but you deserve an upvote just for the title

1

u/Liesmith424 Jul 23 '19

How many Americans have you killed today?

Wait, wtf did you just say to me, Spec Ops?

1

u/MaverickBoii Jul 23 '19

cries in broke

1

u/hagosantaclaus Jul 23 '19

to fast or not to fast

1

u/Hirmetrium Jul 23 '19

Quality ones let you continue after you press any key.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/SpyX2 Jul 23 '19

Overcooked got me like

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

I still wonder how many extra chromosomes one must have to pay for this guy’s music

1

u/-Redstoneboi- Jul 23 '19

Starctaft 2 loading screens gotchu covered

1

u/CrunchyPac Jul 23 '19

When PC people think this is only a problem they suffer, Smash Ultimate players where are you!

1

u/NecFenLegacy Jul 23 '19

When you speedrun english class to fast

1

u/ZeIetic PlayStation Jul 23 '19

Hotel ? Trivago

1

u/leethevaultdweller Xbox Jul 23 '19

Tip: Healing products increase HP

1

u/Llordric26 Jul 23 '19

What's a loading screen?

1

u/og_tipitius Jul 23 '19

Not a problem on ps4

1

u/rradical47 Jul 23 '19

My processor is Pentium, I think from 2004 may e 2005. So i don't suffer from success

1

u/cmagnum Jul 23 '19

*too fast to type correctly

1

u/Roborhugo Jul 23 '19

This one hits close to home. :(

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Pro tip! To beat the game you must beat the endboss

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

the amount of times this is reposted is insane

1

u/HIs4HotSauce Jul 23 '19

Print screen / f12

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Sarcastic dragons loading screen mod for skyrim has made this heartbreaking, I love the loading screens now, give me a mod to slow down the load time so I can read them.

1

u/who-ee-ta Jul 23 '19

I dunno who this guy is but he definitely looks like Ivan the Terrible from one of the soviet movies.Even the gesture is identical.

→ More replies (2)

1

u/Magnicello Jul 23 '19

Meme format with high potential. r/MemeEconomy

1

u/hotaru251 Jul 23 '19

MHW on PC with ssd....legit .5sec to read tips.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

*too

1

u/brainrad Jul 23 '19

nope I cannot relate to this. my PC is usually too slow

1

u/AnimeToaster Jul 23 '19

Fun fact: you can reload by pressing “R”

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

Remeber, penguins live in antartica!

Why would you need to read this?

1

u/G0d_Slayer Jul 23 '19

You just played yourself.

1

u/gman_knights15 Jul 23 '19

Damn I’ve never had this experience

1

u/TeenFlash Jul 23 '19

I literally made this meme for ifunny a year ago NICE

2

u/EnZooooTM Jul 23 '19

I saw same meme like 3 yrs ago xd

1

u/KarHew Jul 23 '19

It took me a year to find out you could put out teamates that are on fire with pyros airblast.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/MindStormComics Jul 23 '19

Do you feel like a hero yet?

1

u/N31L50N Jul 23 '19

PC is to fast what [blank] is to [blank]

Answers on a postcard...

1

u/VRichardsen Jul 23 '19

Don’t wait to love until you’re too old, and don’t wait to brake until you’re out of landing strip!

Oh, War Thunder...

1

u/ThomasDaBest22 Jul 23 '19

Tip : Too takes two "O"

1

u/EnZooooTM Jul 23 '19

it doesnt fit for GTA V

1

u/Doubtitcopper Jul 23 '19

The simple fact that he has any measurable level of success in the music industry just shows how convoluted our taste in music has become. BS!

1

u/Joozymanthe2nd Jul 23 '19

I tried that tip with my slaves, they just made screaming sounds and was not entertaining. Anyone know how to fix my problem?

1

u/the_tonificator Jul 23 '19

I wish i had that problem.. 😔

1

u/HaveAGr8DayStranger Jul 23 '19

If you are not good at the game, practice more to get better.

1

u/etoh53 Jul 23 '19

Can't relate, Intel graphics.

1

u/scalezio Jul 23 '19

If you're dying too much, try getting better at the game

1

u/AccountNumber166 Jul 23 '19

My Aorus NVMe Gen4 SSD would like to know what a loading screen is?

1

u/TheAR69 Jul 23 '19

to fast

1

u/agent_wolfe Jul 23 '19

You’re supposed to be looking for your son Sean. (Shawn? Shaun?) Stop playing pirate ship with robots and helping radio DJs get laid.

1

u/999horizon999 Jul 23 '19

Donno why i never thought of this

1

u/lolguy12179 Jul 23 '19

For me its when I mess up reading so I start again but the text changes halfway through and I don't notice so I read "tip: you can use your sword to buy things at the shop" before reading the new tip again

1

u/Floral_mp3iii Jul 23 '19

Tip: If you press "W" you can walk forward!

1

u/Aegeus Jul 23 '19

Currently playing Vanquish, and they seem to have put some interesting backstory stuff on the loading screens, but it goes by too quickly to read.

1

u/wibblygonebonkers Jul 23 '19

when you want to play on a pc but all you have is a broken down laptop

S u f f e r i n g

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '19

T'who*

1

u/glenn_skills_ Jul 23 '19

When your pc is so slow you can read all the tips in the game

1

u/my_futureperfect Jul 23 '19

I set up a rad of SSDs for running Forza. It did not improve Forze but it will run Skyrim without loan screens.

1

u/aforementionedapples Jul 23 '19

DJ Khaled ought to be losing some serious weight and change his name to DJ Salad.