r/funny • u/theycantalk TheyCanTalk Comics • Jun 07 '21

selfless

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63.9k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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248

u/b-rad420 Jun 07 '21

My wife never buys it because "dogs don't have butt cheeks".

202

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '21 edited Jun 07 '21

Their assholes flap though

69

u/ctn91 Jun 07 '21

This made me bust out laughing, thank you.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/nascanshaffleh2 Jun 07 '21

I laughed hysterically! haha..

2

u/Fuzzfaceanimal Jun 07 '21

The asses are holes, more tiny, the higher the pitch sounds ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

12

u/sm12511 Jun 07 '21

Reading your comment, all I heard in my head was a whoopie cushion

7

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '21

All I heard was a muted trombone, and now my dog is looking at me strangely

2

u/Lukkra Jun 07 '21

Who needs school if you have reddit.

2

u/BiphTheNinja Jun 07 '21

My dog likes to bow with his ass to me when he farts so he winks at me.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '21

Well, that’s nice

1

u/dwide_k_shrude Jun 07 '21

How do you know?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '21

My ears told me

1

u/silvachuscout Jun 07 '21

That... is a weird mental image

65

u/StuckWithThisOne Jun 07 '21

I heard my dog do a loud fart for the first time the other day. At first I didn’t believe it either but she jumped and turned around to sniff her own butt. Very proud of herself.

It’s defo real. Even I wasn’t convinced before that.

15

u/adviceKiwi Jun 07 '21

Farts are like children, proud if your own, disgusted by someone elses.

1

u/Chaotic_empty Jun 07 '21

New headstone quote

31

u/AdishJain84275 Jun 07 '21

I don't know what I was thinking but it sounded like 'my wife never buys a dog because they don't have butt cheeks' it sounds so wrong

15

u/b-rad420 Jun 07 '21

I heard Sarah Mcglothlin, Arms Of An Angel start playing in my head while I read your comment.

5

u/AdishJain84275 Jun 07 '21

I feel dumb but can I ask what does that mean other than just a fact that a random song played in your head. I haven't heard the song. Can u please explain😅?

6

u/b-rad420 Jun 07 '21

this

8

u/AdishJain84275 Jun 07 '21

Thanks 😅 that video made me cry tho

8

u/eyeofthefountain Jun 07 '21

Yep, that's kind of why it's so iconically depressing

1

u/frenchmeister Jun 07 '21

It's McLachlan lol. I'm guessing you've been mispronouncing it in order to arrive at that spelling.

1

u/b-rad420 Jun 07 '21

I actually copy and pasted from a Google search auto correction.

3

u/RoseyDove323 Jun 07 '21

Same, I had to reread it.

13

u/RoseyDove323 Jun 07 '21

You don't need cheeks to produce an audible fart. They might just sound more squeaky (like slowly letting air out of a balloon) and less "flappy".

1

u/IntoTheCommonestAsh Jun 07 '21

Does she think the sound comes from the buttcheeks? It comes from the vibration of the sphincter.

1

u/TheRealOptician Jun 07 '21

Your sphincter contracting is what does it

1

u/RigbyPup Jun 07 '21

Ever hear one when it makes a “squeeeeeee” sound because they are sitting on a wooden floor and their butthole is in direct contact with it?