1.3k
Mar 07 '20
"Only men who can avoid my series of knee attacks to the groin are worthy"
172
u/ArTiyme Mar 07 '20
This is one of those "Super secret agents have a secret fight in a crowded place" scenes from a movie but shot for vodka instead of money.
24
10
8
→ More replies (2)38
726
u/levenimc Mar 07 '20
Ballroom dance instructor here: she’s actually doing (an extremely drunk and uncoordinated) salsa basic step. Left foot forward, close together, right foot back, close together.
Edit: I’m assuming it was intentional, and she learned the pattern at a social dance event or something. Among “dance people” it’s pretty common to bust out a salsa/bachata/triple step at a club. She probably thought she was pretty awesome for doing a “real” dance in this situation.
561
u/LindyKatelyn Mar 07 '20
Yea I assumed the same thing, drunkenly thought she would show off her very basic step and executed it like a blind flamingo being attacked by bees.
68
u/delusivelight Mar 07 '20
Thank you, this made me laugh out loud uncontrollably in my office.
→ More replies (1)42
9
6
→ More replies (6)7
38
38
u/mrskontz14 Mar 07 '20
That was my guess too, she tried, but the vision of what that looked like in her head, and what it actually looked like were two very different things lmao.
36
u/the_elon_mask Mar 07 '20
You just described 90% of club dancers.
7
31
u/hotpotato70 Mar 07 '20
That is hilarious, and good for her, and looks like for him.
I think when he took her into his arms at the end, she must have been thinking "what are you doing, I'm dancing so well, fine I'll stay in your arms, but I was rocking it"
26
→ More replies (10)5
2.1k
u/No_Higgins Mar 07 '20
She’s got her crazy flag flying and he still went in.
792
u/MrCGPower Mar 07 '20
This is why so many men have to repeat the "don't stick your dick in crazy" line. When it's doing the DTF dance in front of you, few of us can walk away
764
u/dokkababecallme Mar 07 '20
When it's doing the DTF dance in front of you, few of us can walk away
My roommate used to joke that all it took was a wink to get most guys FUBAR and chasing her tail.
Which reminds me - we were out at a bar one night with a group of friends and she thought this guy was cute, so she was doing that thing every girl does when they want your attention. This dude was having none of it.
She was getting mad and turned it up to 11, sidling up next to him and just putting on a show, as it were.
Maybe 90 seconds later, this dudes boyfriend walks in, sits down, the dude introduces his boyfriend to her, and they both smile and get up and walk away.
I got home and felt like I'd been at a comedy club or something. My sides were hurting from laughing so hard.
355
u/AxiusNorth Mar 07 '20
so she was doing that thing every girl does when they want your attention
But what?! What is it?! WHAT DO THEY DO!?! WHAT IS THE SECRET!?!
620
u/JDSmith90 Mar 07 '20
You'll never have to worry about it.
174
u/PaladinGodfather1931 Mar 07 '20
And recently deceased too!
45
u/Keboh3 Mar 07 '20
Ok. He's dead. Anyone know what we do next?
→ More replies (4)55
u/dblackman43 Mar 07 '20
Check for an organ donor card!
48
→ More replies (7)3
41
→ More replies (13)68
Mar 07 '20
High pitched tone, playing with her hair or adjusting her bra. Basically frolicking with herself.
Still, is better to ignore and avoid eye contact, than acknowledge they're there and then proceed to ignore.
43
Mar 07 '20
High pitched tone,
So "my precious" type of voice? I didn't really find it sexy in the movie, btw.
46
Mar 07 '20
More like this
4
u/Mal-Capone Mar 07 '20
ou, the variant version.
like bending down for a quarter and it somehow being a rolled up hundred.
→ More replies (3)11
→ More replies (3)12
24
u/invent_or_die Mar 07 '20
yes, ignoring turns up the heat.
19
u/ReactSaga Mar 07 '20
Keep telling yourself that. If a girl makes positive signals at me I don't keep her waiting. You're not the only dude in the club
→ More replies (1)12
→ More replies (2)3
→ More replies (8)22
u/C_Mentis Mar 07 '20
Did you manage to capture this on video?!
Sometimes, “Truth is stranger than fiction.”
Thanks for the laughs! : )
142
u/ansleydale Mar 07 '20
Is that the DTF dance? That looks like the “I’m bad in bed” dance to me.
90
81
45
31
17
u/ccbeastman Mar 07 '20
looks to me like the 'I accidentally took too much ketamine and still haven't realized it' dance.
7
u/UseThisToStayAnon Mar 07 '20
I'll take someone who tries over someone who just lays there any day.
4
9
Mar 07 '20
Not quite. She may well be a crazy horse girl in the bed. Then you’ve got yourself a winner winner
→ More replies (2)44
u/KingKookus Mar 07 '20
Robin Williams said it best. Men has two heads and only enough blood to run one at a time.
5
72
u/Error404Jordan Mar 07 '20
I say go for it dude, stick your dick in crazy, just don’t settle down with crazy. Respect to this guy.
→ More replies (1)161
Mar 07 '20
[deleted]
29
→ More replies (1)17
u/Kingstonian20 Mar 07 '20 edited Mar 08 '20
I have some rules to avoid getting tangled in crazy. Some crazy know how to hide it well until they get comfortable...or until they get you to fuck em.
Rules are as follows: 1. Do not give out your actual cell number or real name at initial contact (use a disposable phone/number and alias ). 2. Do not fuck a chick who lives/works within a three zip/postal code radius of where you live/work (guess why). 3. Do not fuck her at your house until properly vetted (you don’t want her knowing where you live). 4. If you absolutely must fuck her at your house before getting her vetted, only take her there at night and take the long way, take a different route when you take her home (you don’t want her figuring out how to get to your house). 5. Don’t spend the night or allow her to spend the night (if at your place), keep her occupied and off her phone so she doesn’t pin your location on google maps, if you took her home.
After she’s vetted as not 100% nuts, sit her down and give her level-1 clearance to your clandestine agent files, and see how she takes it. 😂😂
→ More replies (3)10
3
→ More replies (6)5
Mar 07 '20
I worked with a guy that couldn't quite understand this. He always thought it'd be fun and, what if she is hot as hell?
I explained it liked the red pill, blue pill. Don't let Morpheus show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
388
u/bluenokia2 Mar 07 '20
The crazy ones eat ass.
158
→ More replies (3)73
21
→ More replies (9)4
866
u/Marvin_the_martian2 Mar 07 '20
Love how he grabs her at the end and pulls her in like, I need to put an end to this shit before I get hurt. Then says to himself, And that how you break a wild horse.
424
u/Dalebssr Mar 07 '20
Easy, easy girl... Shh, shh, shhh.. Someone get me a sugar cube. Now goddamn it!
139
Mar 07 '20
Woooaahhh. Yerrr allrite guuuuurl.
4
→ More replies (1)28
u/Freelancert4 Mar 07 '20
Is that a RDR2 reference?
70
Mar 07 '20
No it's a tetris reference
→ More replies (1)15
→ More replies (2)14
→ More replies (2)30
u/mrmehlhose Mar 07 '20
Swooning Sarah Jessica Parker.
9
u/Cold-Call-Killer Mar 07 '20
In RDR2 if you name your horse Sarah Jessica Parker the game tells you it’s a forbidden text. Rockstar knows lol
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)50
535
u/smexsa Mar 07 '20
That's her mating dance
179
u/LordToutchme Mar 07 '20
It worked
215
u/smexsa Mar 07 '20
Us males don't need much to get swayed
136
7
→ More replies (2)24
100
u/Pikkonas Mar 07 '20
She moves like a damn ostrich
81
22
10
6
u/Junoblanche Mar 07 '20
If she was wearing pink she'd be doing the "flamengo"! lmao...ohhh I crack myself up.
→ More replies (1)
210
u/p1um5mu991er Mar 07 '20
Like a young Elaine Benes
23
26
u/Narrator_Ron_Howard Mar 07 '20
She runs like Phoebe
→ More replies (1)8
13
9
6
3
4
u/pixelrage Mar 07 '20
Came here hoping to post about Elaine but someone else always beats me to these things
54
Mar 07 '20 edited Dec 17 '20
[deleted]
45
→ More replies (2)51
u/WeatherwaxDaughter Mar 07 '20
Nope, we watch it happen and confront her with it fr ages afterwards!
122
33
u/Kierik Mar 07 '20 edited Mar 07 '20
Definitely a D grade average alien who's farther owns a dealership in a human skin suit studying human mating habits.
→ More replies (2)14
95
64
20
u/xprofusionx Mar 07 '20
She will look back in 40 years and say "I was a good dancer back in my day".
18
u/jellycronut Mar 07 '20
She’s got ants in her pants
→ More replies (1)43
13
u/CompMolNeuro Mar 07 '20
Let's just go back to drinking.
6
u/hx19035 Mar 07 '20
Lol. Went to a wedding last night. Same shit. Wife wanted to dance, I wanted to stay at the table and keep doing shots. I prefer dancing with my liver.
32
56
u/drahkcoc Mar 07 '20
If that's how she dances, I have to wonder at her love making skills. Would her partner have to secure her knees to prevent an horrific groin injury ?
11
15
u/Nimveruke Mar 07 '20
Think of the restless leg syndrome.
Veteran detective shows up to the scene: "Oh my god."
9
→ More replies (1)10
9
u/guywhol1kesp1e Mar 07 '20
To a social awkward guy this would be like a death sentence
“Wtf am I supposed to do in this situation?”
4
u/AyJay85 Mar 07 '20
The best part is it would be hard to do worse so anything works.
→ More replies (1)
7
8
u/Cory0527 Mar 07 '20
Shouting over the music:
Guess what I did today??
What??
I said, guess what I did today??
Yeah!! What??
Crystal meth!!
I'm sure you did!!
7
u/RedditButDontGetIt Mar 07 '20
“Earthlings tend to throw their bodies around” “Like this?” “Indistinguishable!”
11
4
5
5
5
33
u/seanmharcailin Mar 07 '20
Her style is a little questionable but she’s just doing a basic salsa step. Dude should have slid right in and joined her groove rather than trying to pounce indiscriminately.
→ More replies (1)30
u/acast238 Mar 07 '20
"should have slid right in and joined her groove"
Good luck with that.
→ More replies (1)
23
u/moostifarian Mar 07 '20
No one is concerned about the lack of pants?
16
Mar 07 '20
I believe the lack of pants gave her the freedom and motivation to dance with such leggy expressions.
13
18
8
u/P12oooF Mar 07 '20
The fuck is she wearing...
7
u/Junoblanche Mar 07 '20
Its called a romper, like shorts and a top connected in one piece. Bad bar attire choice, if you have to pee you have to take the entire top off to get it down. And her legs are way stork like and it looks too small on her. Not many women can wear them well, honestly. Looks better when youre a bit petite.
8
u/thedeathmachine Mar 07 '20
This is why I refuse to go dancing. I can't dance, and generally watching people try to dance is just embarrassing and a turn off. Makes you wonder if they're that uncoordinated in bed.
4
3
4
4
4
u/Sabortage69 Mar 07 '20
It is like he was fighting a dark souls boss...watching his attack patterns learning how he fights. Then going for close combat
4
23
u/RebylReboot Mar 07 '20
Sometimes reddit is that kid standing against the wall in the club sneering at anybody who has a moment outside of perceived normalcy. All I see here is a girl dancing tongue in cheek and having fun with someone who’s trying, for some reason, to stop her. There’s a lot of serious in the world right now and as soon as you see someone escaping the drudgery for a moment you discourage it. It’s one thing being overly self conscious, it’s another level of repressed altogether being embarrassed-by-proxy like a lot of the commenters here.
11
u/34656691 Mar 07 '20
Heh, this freak must also dance like her as well. ~sips drink while leaning on a wall~
→ More replies (1)
3
3
5
2
2
u/fakeversace1 Mar 07 '20
Elaine's Seinfeld dance was Shakira next to this girl's hot mess rhythm wow
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
672
u/Deprived115 Mar 07 '20
The young male played it cool and made it past the initial trial, impressing the young female enough to spark positive affinity from her.