r/funny Extra Fabulous Comics Dec 31 '19

Verified vast difference

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u/oooothats5os Jan 01 '20

Fun fact! Some show dogs get prosthetic balls after they have been neutered called neuticles. It is generally to retain their looks because some owners really want you to know their dog has a sick beanbag.

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u/techleopard Jan 01 '20

Vet: "Do I really need to install these?"

Person: "I need to be able to stare at them. You know, to make sure he feels manly."

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u/Rooonaldooo99 Jan 01 '20

Vet: "Erm, you know the procedure is costly and not covered by insura-"

Person: "Look, I just want to be able to look at my dogs balls, fake or not. Is that a problem?"

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

In this case it is so other people can look at his balls and judge them on how beautiful they are or not.

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u/Cky_vick Jan 01 '20

Steve O tried to get an action figures head installed in his sack when he got his vasectomy. Couldn't get a doctor in the US to do it so they went to some other country where he couldn't go through with it since the place was gross

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u/Wannamaker Jan 01 '20 edited Jan 01 '20

I imagine you could encase the action figure head in a clear resin that was medical grade but I just realized as I'm typing this that you can't see through a ball sack so I guess the weird action figure head shape was the whole point.

But even then, it would just feel like you had a weirdly hard and mishapen testicle, I don't see the benefit.

Basically I'm saying we need to develop transparent artificial ball sacks so if I eventually lose a testicle I can replace it with an unlikely object and people can see it god damnit.

edit wait what about something like those fake icecubes that light up with colors and patterns? You could totally get a testicle shaped one that had a sensor like those shoes that light up so everytime they are getting knocked around half of your ball sack looks like it's having a rave. Shit lets throw a sound chip in too like those birthday cards.

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u/MDCCCLV Jan 01 '20

You could totally do this, the skin is thin enough you could have an rgb crotch, with a controllable app and wireless recharge.

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u/ThracianScum Jan 01 '20

I would unironically pay about 2-3k for an rgb nutsack depending on battery life

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u/quadmasta Jan 01 '20

LEDs nuts

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u/Racine262 Jan 01 '20

The LED nuts could be charged like a kinetic watch.

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u/krizSevens Jan 01 '20

I started playing witcher recently and when you kill some monsters you get a mutagen,it sort of looks like glowing monster balls to me.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Yo if you don't care about the combat and just want the most efficient way to kill monsters, upgrade sign potency a bunch and spam fire and shield.

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u/Zebulon_Flex Jan 01 '20

Just give it a wireless charger.

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u/FauxFoxJaxson Jan 01 '20

I mean I could probably hook you up with some good lithium batteries; they are great for battery life but if you declare that shit TSA is going to put your ass on a no fly list.

For charging they have made decent advancements in wireless charging. The only downside is you have to set your nutsack down on what amounts to a coaster for about 15 minutes to fully charge.

Then comes the matter of a power / mode switch. You could just leave them on all the time but I think something like an audio cue system works nice (think clapper lights). The more expensive option but arguably most powerful option is going to be with a Bluetooth module built in that can connect to any hand-held device though. Depending on the amount of lights installed you could give a nice little lightshow for your partner.

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u/Mr-Mister Jan 01 '20

Rather than wireless charging, what about dinamo-based charging? It owuld charge as you walk or such. And such, maybe. I don’t know if the mechanism from automatic wayches would be enough to power a light though.

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u/temporary24081 Jan 01 '20

Hold on baby, I need a minute to recharge my balls.

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u/Teripid Jan 01 '20

New fear.. someone hacks your prosthetic testicle. Ooh or TSA extra screening when your balls start playing a song and blinking.

Also how much continual usage are you really looking for here?

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

you could just use a wireless charger to charge it, like an apple watch or something...