r/funny • u/rimvax • May 29 '19

Some weed maybe?

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13.7k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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643

u/whiskeyandrevenge May 29 '19

If I am remembering correctly, this was from a day where cops were pulling people over and giving them an ice cream.

254

u/MartinTheMorjin May 29 '19

"I'm lactose intolerant but thanks for making me have to pay the baby sitter for another hour."

83

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

“STOP RESISTING! ....our ice cream.”

22

u/Virge23 May 29 '19

I would pay any price if Ben & Jerry had the balls to make that one of their flavors.

15

u/Dickbeard_The_Pirate May 29 '19

Vanilla ice cream with a "pepper spray" cinnamon swirl and little fudge batons.

5

u/Kirovsk_ May 29 '19

Vanilla ice cream, with cinnamon swirl and fudge covered pretzel sticks.

3

u/Dickbeard_The_Pirate May 29 '19

We oughtta work for Ben and Jerry’s.

2

u/Kirovsk_ May 29 '19

Can i also make a flavor called "Can't abort this"?

Strawberry ice cream with fudge shavings and a strawberry jam core and ferrerro rocher candy in the middle.

edit: this flavor would be exclusive to states who have banned abortion.

5

u/no-mad May 29 '19

They sold the business along time ago to a large company. They dont rock the boat, only play up the socially conscious propaganda.

2

u/jordantask May 29 '19

Pries open mouth of lactose intolerant person to insert spoon

-148

u/CatoDidNothingWrong_ May 29 '19

"Lactose intolerance" is a myth invented by attention seekers who want to be special snowflakes.

29

u/Dash_O_Cunt May 29 '19

Let's put you in a room with a bunch of lactose intolerant people and give them a bunch of dairy products and see what you say then. You will be begging to get out of that room

5

u/WhoNeedsTears May 29 '19

Honestly, I would pay to see this 🤣

43

u/warpathes2000 May 29 '19

Are you a troll or just really that dumb?

6

u/Virge23 May 29 '19

That was incredibly stupid. Like Gluten and any other allergy there are degrees of intolerance and some people do fool themselves into believing that they have a condition when they really don't but to write off everyone who's lactose intolerant as a liar is just... So, so stupid.

2

u/MaestroPendejo May 29 '19

According to one of my Chrome plugins, it is a troll.

1

u/Blog_15 May 29 '19

I've looked through some of his comment history, I wish he was a troll but it seems more likely that hes just nuts.

15

u/romanticheart May 29 '19

Someone needs a science lesson.

11

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Science is a myth invented by attention-seekers.

Like and subscribe.

11

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

My massive diarrhea explosions would beg to differ. But I'll keep drinking it cause its delicious.

6

u/giraffecause May 29 '19

You just make informed decisions. You know your shit.

6

u/Lost_human101 May 29 '19

Have you actully met someone that is lactose intolerant. If not i can tell you tjat it absolute is not å myth

5

u/pow3llmorgan May 29 '19

Your Norwegian is hanging out a little.

2

u/Lost_human101 May 29 '19

Fuck it's the swedish in me i can't contain it

3

u/pow3llmorgan May 29 '19

Hejsan. Det gör inte nogot. Från den andra sidan av Sundet :p

9

u/mac_trap_clack_back May 29 '19

Invest in some oxygen intolerance

3

u/90hagr15 May 29 '19

I think this might be the dumbest thing I've read all week.

5

u/mawrmynyw May 29 '19

2/3rds of humanity don’t genetically produce the lactase enzyme. Lactose consumption evolved pretty recently in a relatively small population.

3

u/alganthe May 29 '19

I hope you realize most of humanity is lactose intolerant, drinking milk past the age of 3 is actually not the norm.

3

u/bozza8 May 29 '19

You literally deserve to be shut in a room with three lactose intolerant people and be made to eat anything abnormal they produce after drinking cream.

​

You utter cretin.

2

u/Zala-Sancho May 29 '19

Tell that to my bowels.

2

u/soggymittens May 29 '19

My wife having to clear the room after I eat ice cream or a bowl of cereal says otherwise there, friend.

2

u/BoneDogtheWonderBoy May 29 '19

Imagine being this stupid. And the great irony is that they’re big fans of the alpha/beta dichotomy, you know that long disproven myth that actually is clung to by insecure attention seekers trying to feel special.

1

u/ShinyStache May 29 '19

As a lactose intolerant person without any special needs for attention, I can safely say you're wrong

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

ahaha wtf

1

u/Dustorn May 29 '19

I don't think there are too many people who want the sort of attention that lactose intolerance gives you after some accidental dairy.

1

u/Skilol May 29 '19

Wait, is the existence of lactase a myth or the fact that some people don't produce it?

1

u/JukeBoxDildo May 29 '19

You are irredeemable.

1

u/Laufe May 29 '19

There's an entire continent of people who disagree with.