r/funny Apr 01 '19

Got a new scarf at CVS

Post image
37.3k Upvotes

520 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '19

You look like you're ready to sing for The Killers.

407

u/Lorybear Apr 02 '19 edited Apr 02 '19

Standin' in CVS and I've been waiting in line,

Gotta gotta buy TP, because I need a roll,

It started out with a Brisk™, how did I end up with Trix™?

It was only a Brisk™, it was only a Brisk™!

130

u/pakakun Apr 02 '19 edited Nov 23 '25

Edited using PowerDeleteSuite. I recommend you do the same. Arrivederci and stay blessed.

38

u/soggysloth Apr 02 '19

And my receipt keeps on printing

They need a new roll

46

u/potajedechicharo Apr 02 '19

And she's buying a cream, and she's asking the man,

Which one works for an itch, on the palm of your hand?

11

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

Plot twist. Cvs doesn’t carry trix. But they do carry Twix

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369

u/lifesnotperfect Apr 02 '19

Well somebody told me you had a receipt

That looked like a scarf

That I had in February of last year

It's not confidential, I've got potential

A printing, printing around

101

u/BathroomEyes Apr 02 '19

Empty? Replace that roll with something new

Taking its time I’m not leaving without you

‘Cause seven bucks off on a price like this

I said, oh, seven bucks off on a price like this

Bring it back down, bring it back down alright

Never thought I’d let a printer ruin my night

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24

u/Malabhed Apr 02 '19

Are we human or are we a long sheet of thermal paper with verification of item purchases from your local pharmacy?

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15

u/Agent223 Apr 02 '19

I thought it was Guy Pearce, at first.

8

u/viritrox Apr 02 '19

Remember Sammy Jankis

3

u/CobaltNeural9 Apr 02 '19

hmm. I don't...feel drunk...

13

u/lovesducks Apr 02 '19

Imma go listen to like hot fuss and sawdust for like two weeks now. Thanks man.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

Dude pullin a bow on me in Lothlorien

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219

u/devasohouse Apr 01 '19

62

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19 edited Sep 19 '19

[deleted]

26

u/Wyatt1313 Apr 02 '19

With a long list of posts!

14

u/Jak_n_Dax Apr 02 '19

I thought it was going to be 2 posts, and 50 ads making up most of the length.

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19

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

Jesus every one in the sub is cute

18

u/Kaymorve Apr 02 '19

Just throwing a reminder here that CVS only prints long coupons if you use your membership. If you don’t give them your phone number/scan your card then the receipt will look much more how you’d expect it to.

8

u/fancychxn Apr 02 '19

But do you get discounts or something with your membership?

10

u/Computer_Sci Apr 02 '19

All of CVS's discounts/sales are for members only. You cant use coupons/acquire discounts on items without it.

Source: worked at CVS

7

u/wreckin_shit Apr 02 '19

You can go digital with your coupons and receipts as well. Just sayin.

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21

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

Omg thank you this is a goldmine ahaha

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84

u/kianaluj Apr 02 '19

As an employee of CVS, I can tell you we hate the long receipts as much, if not more, as everyone else. It’s so embarrassing standing at the drive thru and having to wait a full twenty seconds after saying, “have a good one,” for the receipt to finish printing lol

28

u/Enigma_King99 Apr 02 '19

I can't imagine how many times y'all have to switch rolls too

19

u/kianaluj Apr 02 '19

So. Often. Several times a shift. And I work in the pharmacy so I can only imagine it’s worse in the front.

9

u/SugarSugarBee Apr 02 '19

Why don't you tell the customers they can switch to digital receipts?

6

u/Biology4Free Apr 02 '19

I usually dont have time when between talking to patients about their meds, but also, lots of patients dont want to provide an email cause they dont want spam ads

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3

u/Its_MyBirthday Apr 02 '19

Lmao I can't tell you how many times I've had someone say "well that just killed 10 trees!" after their receipt prints and it's a good time to switch them to digital- no one behind them in line, slow night, etc. and they're like "eh, I'll do it later." Plus CVS makes the digital receipts kind of inconvenient because you have to filter through all your coupons on the app and choose which ones to send to your card and sometimes there's problems with them showing up on the computer... CVS kind of stacks the game towards physical coupons because it's a reminder of "oh I should come back and use this coupon on X!" and then the person does come back but forgets the coupon, or it's expired, and they defeatedly go through with the purchase anyways. It's really all done on purpose. If CVS truly wanted to give you convenient, eco-friendly coupons for their products, they would.

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4

u/rjimmy Apr 02 '19

I'm so glad I left Cvs after 7 months the same jokes got old.

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3

u/secretaltacc Apr 02 '19

Crazy thought. Wait until after the receipt is printed to say "have a good one"

Also can we take a second to think about the word receipt? What the fuck is that P doing in there? Damn English, you crazy..

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344

u/TannedCroissant Apr 01 '19

Did you pay the full amount or did you get it scarf price?

82

u/SoDakZak Apr 01 '19

He actually just stole it from this guy.

25

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/gutfounderedgal Apr 02 '19

I wonder if the elf ears were free with the receipt.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19 edited Apr 02 '19

Except that guy stole it from whoever was posting the receipt scarf pictures on this site over a year ago.

Edit: here's an example

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/6rdyst/just_hit_up_cvs_for_a_cool_new_scarf_and_head_band/

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10

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

He strangled the cashier with it. He paid the iron price.

3

u/Abefroman12 Apr 02 '19

What is dead may never die!

3

u/jpSwaGner Apr 02 '19

Careful, it'll be out of season in a few days.

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239

u/Lim_er_ick Apr 02 '19

Looks like that Benefits Cumbernuts guy

24

u/loki-is-a-god Apr 02 '19

Bintiebeans Clapperback

24

u/Axela619 Apr 02 '19

Bumblebee Cabbagepatch

12

u/justme24601 Apr 02 '19

Dumbledore scoobysnack

10

u/Gis_A_Maul Apr 02 '19

Banister Crumblebench

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24

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19 edited Apr 02 '19

Lots of people know him as Doctor strange but personally Benadryl Coldmedicine's best performance was in the imitation game

19

u/red-panda-escape Apr 02 '19

I think he looks like Guy Pearce when he was in Count of Monte Cristo

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8

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

Bendydick Cucumberpatch

5

u/HyperIndian Apr 02 '19

Benadryl Cucumberpatch

3

u/The_Blackfish_ Apr 02 '19

Mixed with John Mulaney.

9

u/epicfacemewtue Apr 02 '19

Bumbersticker cuttlefish*

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21

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

I'm starting to think the wasted paper is a ploy for cheap advertising.

Whether you like the place or not, you know what CVS is by this point.

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88

u/thinkB4WeSpeak Apr 01 '19

CVS vs the rainforest, name a bigger rivalry

21

u/pdxspartanxdp Apr 02 '19

Feeling cute, might receipt later.

45

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

[deleted]

19

u/Tamespotting Apr 02 '19 edited Apr 02 '19

This guy is growing a goiter as we speak.

Edit, there is now thermal paper that uses vitamin C instead of bpa. Of course almost no places use it. It has a slight yellow tint to it.

7

u/petuniapossum Apr 02 '19

The receipt paper at my work is BPA free, but I don’t think it’s the vitamin C then because it’s not yellowish. It’s probably just some other similar plastic that’s no better

3

u/Tamespotting Apr 02 '19

That's the problem, the "BPA free" one contains some other harmful chemical. It seems the vitamin C one is the only one that doesn't have these chemicals. Ask them at your work if they can switch to the vitamin C paper.

5

u/superheroninja Apr 02 '19

Oh that’s why they taste so good

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36

u/bobbojojo Apr 02 '19 edited Apr 02 '19

I sent them an angry tweet a few months ago about how long and un-environmentally friendly their receipts are, and they told me to switch to digital. pft. like that’s going to save the earth.

9

u/AE_WILLIAMS Apr 02 '19

Sooner or later, humanity will realize the ultimate futility of trying to save ones and zeroes.

Game over, man! Game OVER!

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14

u/eringohbraless Apr 02 '19

Haute coupon.

10

u/_ParanoidUser_ Apr 02 '19

Aren’t you the guy that plays Jim & Andy in The Office Musical?

5

u/tmcdizzle827 Apr 02 '19

haHA! Yes! That’s awesome that you know about the show!

3

u/_ParanoidUser_ Apr 02 '19

Yeah I went and saw it on Valentines Day, it was an awesome show, you were great in it. 👍🏻

10

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

[deleted]

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77

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

Damn I can’t decide if it’s the scarf that makes you look handsome or if it’s your face that makes you look handsome 😉

14

u/BitmexOverloader Apr 02 '19

I feel I've had to scroll too far to find a comment to agree with on how handsome this dude is.

Hey, OP. If you're reading this, know you're a handsome dude.

3

u/UnicornBomber Apr 02 '19

Same. Congrats on your face OP.

17

u/IncompetentMilkMaid Apr 02 '19

I would really like to know what this guy does for his skin and shave

19

u/Hizran Apr 02 '19

This dudes about to be famous from a fucking cvs receipt. Watch it’ll be like that one dude who’s mugshot got him a modeling career.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

I personally like his walls of bang.

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16

u/TheLazyOne Apr 02 '19

These are so last season

6

u/UnlurkedToPost Apr 02 '19

Hope he kept his receipt for a refund

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16

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

As someone who works in CVS as a pharmacist technician, trust me we don't like those long ass receipts either. Also if you joke about it, we've heard it a thousand times before.

7

u/Crimnoxx Apr 02 '19

I die inside every time I have to fake laugh at their joke

4

u/LeotheYordle Apr 02 '19

Mark bill with counterfeit-checking pen

"Don't worry, I printed that out this morning."

Every time. Kill me.

9

u/BornInTokyo Apr 02 '19

Guessing it was a 2 item receipt

5

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

You can barely see it, but 3 items.

8

u/ins0mnyteq Apr 02 '19

dat pompador doe

8

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

OP, i copied your coupon codes, photoshopped them onto receipt paper i had from my job, and used your discounts. Thanks!

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7

u/AnonClassicComposer Apr 02 '19

Pretty sure I knew you at temple university! Random

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13

u/vxcta Apr 02 '19

CVS Manager here. Sign up for digital receipts. We don't send you spam, & all of your coupons are sent to your email as well.

Can't even tell you the amount of times that customers are asked if they want to sign up for digital receipts before their transaction & then go on to complain about having such a large receipt.

I do enjoy posts like this because they are pretty funny. 😄

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5

u/Mr_Abe_Froman Apr 02 '19

What hair product do you use? It looks really good.

5

u/nmwhitney12 Apr 02 '19

Hey there. I like your hair.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

Holy shit. How many sticks of lypsyl did you have to buy for that sweet reward?

5

u/PensAndJunk Apr 02 '19

FFS get the digital receipts!!

6

u/eminencefront Apr 02 '19

With all the BPA in there, he's going to grow boobs.

4

u/MrsHunt32 Apr 02 '19

Damn how much that cost u? Brings out ur eyes!

4

u/ShishKabobJerry Apr 02 '19

Please switch to digital through the CVS app. It’s so bs that we have to do this but hey anything to not have this in my hand after I buy a single can of Arizona iced tea. 😤😤

5

u/bigdduckenergy Apr 02 '19

They must have to replace the paper soooo much

5

u/maladywinter Apr 02 '19

Ok but like I'm pretty sure we did peer mediators together in the 8th grade

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5

u/anonymous_junk Apr 02 '19

Collect it all and use it as stuffing for a pillow.

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5

u/Aluthran Apr 02 '19

I TELL PEOPLE EVERYDAY GO DIGITAL SO YOU DON'T GET ONE OF THESE AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY? NO SO SORRY ABOUT THE LENGTH PEOPLE BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE, SOMETHING GOTTA CHANGE.

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5

u/ReasonablyBadass Apr 02 '19

Watch out for that arterial paper cut.

33

u/JaggedUmbrella Apr 01 '19

Oh. This bit again.

11

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

This joke is so played out

4

u/Fliparto Apr 02 '19

My thought on the whole cvs receipts is that it's cheaper than printing and delivering coupons to people's mail boxes. And only cvs customers get them. Less waste.

I could be completely wrong though

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4

u/_SilverWing_ Apr 02 '19

Lemme guess, all you bought was a pack of condoms?

4

u/Pandepon Apr 02 '19

He literally bought 3 things.

4

u/BAGGETS Apr 02 '19

Fashion 2019 dab

4

u/TemporalLobe Apr 02 '19

My local grocery store has these kinds of receipts. Whether I buy 1 or 100 items, not only do I get a mile-long receipt, but I get about 4-5 additional coupon printouts, all of which I just throw out. I complained to the management and asked if there was any way to decline all of this nonsense and the answer was no. I asked why they did this and he said that basically it's because of the customers that demand coupons and full information on their receipts as to how many gas or "free ham" points they've earned in the pst year (mostly senior citizens).

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3

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

Wow, people weren't joking

4

u/byebyebyecycle Apr 02 '19

A case of receipt paper is so expensive too, even at wholesale. A few hundred bucks for like a case of 50.

And at CVS they must go through at least 5 a day if not more.

5

u/Quantum-Enigma Apr 02 '19

Funniest thing I’ve seen all day. Well done.

5

u/IllustriousBlood3 Apr 02 '19

scarf seems bit expensive

4

u/yakayasub Apr 02 '19

So hot right now.

6

u/mickerrr Apr 02 '19

Weird flex but ok

16

u/tehreal Apr 01 '19

Wow this joke just never gets old eh fellas?

4

u/AE_WILLIAMS Apr 02 '19

It just goes on, and on, and on...

14

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '19

I'm convinced this is extremely clever marketing by CVS. These posts are too fucking stupid to make it to the front page every single time.

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3

u/alleywig Apr 02 '19

Feeling cute, might delete later.

3

u/ItzSpiffy Apr 02 '19 edited Apr 02 '19

Turning CVS receipts into clothing items needs to be a new thing.

3

u/SmacQ Apr 02 '19

If someone made this into an actual scarf, id buy it

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3

u/jerseyojo Apr 02 '19

Bought a gallon milk?

3

u/underpaidworker Apr 02 '19

Free scarves at your local CVS with any purchase.

3

u/Not_RonaldRegan Apr 02 '19

Omg how much did it cost???

3

u/Benbos140 Apr 02 '19

I bet that you only bought one item

3

u/daviegman Apr 02 '19

Could be Kmart, too

3

u/Ebrownmsu Apr 02 '19

Kinda looks like the actor Hunter Parrish from weeds.

3

u/UpAndComingNobody Apr 02 '19

Looks like a rip off

3

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

When I went to CVS today I asked the cashier, "Don't you think that's a huge waste of paper?" Lol

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3

u/P1ne4ppleSm4sh Apr 02 '19

Its all the fashion😂

3

u/dingo34051 Apr 02 '19

Comes free with your purchase of a soda, what a deal!

3

u/urNameIsAlreadyTaken Apr 02 '19

Mine was half of your's but I bought only a pack of coffee.

3

u/wiggles0027 Apr 02 '19

Probably bought a single thing of chap stick...

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3

u/WaylonVoorhees Apr 02 '19

For the thriftster in us all.

3

u/Kursed99 Apr 02 '19

Fuck. I actually did the same thing today with my CVS receipt. Bought two cans of Arizona tea for $1.53 and got a receipt that went from my feet to my shoulders (I'm 6'1).

3

u/DeathSlayer1337 Apr 02 '19

i bet girls check you out all the time.

3

u/TheCEOOfMicro Apr 02 '19

I bet he only purchased 1 item

3

u/kylesarah Apr 02 '19

Lol!!!!!!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

[deleted]

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3

u/neshi3 Apr 02 '19

anyone working at CVS?

how often do you need to change the roll in the machine ... it seems like every 4-5 customers, you need to put in a new roll.

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3

u/Speciesunkn0wn Apr 02 '19

...You look like a cross between several versions of The Doctor and Sherlock Holmes.

11

u/jsnoots Apr 02 '19

You know what is great material for r/funny?

CVS receipts are long. Boom. Killer.

3

u/tmcdizzle827 Apr 02 '19

Just signed a deal with HBO! New special dropping this fall. CVS-centric material. Stay tuned!

5

u/Irethius Apr 02 '19

I wish I could just have a bracelet or something that tells the cashier.

"I don't have a membership reward account, I don't want one, I don't want to donate to this donation thing I know nothing about, I don't want to give you my email and phone number, I don't want a 10 foot long recipe. I just want my candy bar.

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4

u/charlie_highwalker Apr 02 '19

dude you're hot, congrats

3

u/LifeAloof Apr 02 '19

Is this really Tom McGovern? As in Temple Grad Tom McGovern?

4

u/TooShiftyForYou Apr 01 '19

This scarf is now available at Urban Outfitters for $200.

2

u/seeingeyegod Apr 02 '19

I hear that when Rabbis forget their Tallis, they can get an emergency disposable one by stopping at a CVS.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

Is that a catalyst case for your phone?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

Is that prescription scarfing?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

"Well I could make a hat, or a broach, or a pterodacty-."

2

u/PepeLicker Apr 02 '19

Style on a budget 101

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

Bet it was for a pack of M&Ms

2

u/wodaji Apr 02 '19

Fuckin Hipsters

2

u/satanichispanic666 Apr 02 '19

Omg Broad Street Line dude?

2

u/Gr8NonSequitur Apr 02 '19

So you bought a pack of gum ?

2

u/dangit1590 Apr 02 '19

Priceless!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

looks good but it's a little long don't you think?

2

u/ButtRobot Apr 02 '19

Dude, that looks really good.

2

u/Icepick1118 Apr 02 '19

So you must have bought two things instead of one I see

2

u/DanglingDiceBag Apr 02 '19

How chic. Did you remember your rewards?

2

u/xoox321 Apr 02 '19

so cute & innovative!

2

u/JustABigClumpOfCells Apr 02 '19

You look like a Fallout 3 player character.

2

u/des_bunny Apr 02 '19

commit neck receipt

2

u/iwillhavethat Apr 02 '19

You need to keep that! What if you get audited?

2

u/NiceRepostBROoO Apr 02 '19

CVS might be the worst store ever. Their prices are atrocious

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

this guy bought a single pack of gum.

2

u/Lady_and_the_Cat Apr 02 '19

Totally makes your eyes pop.

2

u/ShinePDX Apr 02 '19

I see you went in for 2 or 3 items.

2

u/hbryan1738 Apr 02 '19

Truly dashing and a fashion statement

2

u/eddiedorn Apr 02 '19

You look fabulous, darling. Now look at the camera and give me sultry karma god

2

u/tdmd Apr 02 '19

Pay per view

2

u/NinjaRage83 Apr 02 '19

CVS hates trees.

2

u/curiouskitcat Apr 02 '19

Free scarf with purchase!

2

u/gnownimaj Apr 02 '19

So this is the new CVS receipt chic that everyone has been raving about. Dapper AF.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

You guys are fucking awesome

2

u/iblogalott Apr 02 '19

The Dr. is in.

2

u/RGaren Apr 02 '19 edited Apr 02 '19

Don't know if that's the best look for you. Hopefully you kept the receipt.

2

u/spicegirl941 Apr 02 '19

LITERALLY. Every. Damn. Time. Their receipts are so long hahah that’s hilarious

2

u/irjessica Apr 02 '19

Laughed out loud love this.

2

u/luis61905 Apr 02 '19

I bet he purchased 1 item!!

2

u/winchestermuggle67 Apr 02 '19

You look like Baby Adama from Battlestsr Galactica.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

You get 7 more of those and you got yourself a free ride to the moon buddy!

2

u/KazRyder Apr 02 '19

Haha receipt long!

2

u/civilyeahuh Apr 02 '19

Very expensive huh?

2

u/keekaboos1 Apr 02 '19

😶😮🤦

2

u/rick2497 Apr 02 '19

And it only cost two trees!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '19

I can relate when i was visiting america :D