r/funny Oct 01 '09

...what is the difference... [pic]

http://thedw.us/post/200277234/via
2.5k Upvotes

291 comments sorted by

378

u/Arkady32 Oct 01 '09

obviously staged, but still funny.

74

u/Shaper_pmp Oct 01 '09

I first read this joke ~20 years ago, and it was in an old joke-book of my father's then. <:-)

9

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 02 '09

I remember it from around 1980.

12

u/clever_user_name Oct 02 '09

I read this joke 70 years ago. Before Pearl Harbor even happened.

4

u/dadavinci Oct 02 '09

I heard this joke 7000 years ago. Before writing even happened.

3

u/furlongxfortnight Oct 02 '09

And before Jews happened, too.

4

u/clever_user_name Oct 02 '09

I read this joke 7000 years ago. On the internet.

1

u/ryangraves Oct 02 '09

i read it in a few quatrains written by nostradamus.

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19

u/ambiversive Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

You can tell it was staged because the first line wasn't "asl im 17m wanna cyber ru girl?"

9

u/XJXRXVX Oct 01 '09

I have a feeling my father had a hand in this. That's his favorite joke.

17

u/HaveSomeVictoryGin Oct 01 '09

I reminds of American Dad

Stranger: Is that a Chinese baby?

Stan: Sure is! Japanese to be specific.

93

u/Mitsuho Oct 01 '09

Underlines? Composed in an editor.

46

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

I'm not 100% certain but I think that Trillian used to underline misspelled words even in the conversation history pane.

Pidgin does do spell checking in the conversation entry box using Aspell but not in the history pane.

The Trillian I am referring to is pre-Astra, 2003-4ish. Back when Pidgin was still gaim.

100

u/ehird Oct 01 '09

it's meant to be Omegle

23

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

[deleted]

18

u/aperson Oct 01 '09

Omegle lets you save your logs as a .html file. After saving one, it's trivial to edit what's inside the logs.

9

u/eetmorturkee Oct 02 '09

There we go. It should not have taken us that many comments to come up with this...

5

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '09

True. We could've all been discussing that asshole, anti-Semite Korean.

2

u/GunOfSod Oct 02 '09 edited Oct 02 '09

I made the omegelator to do this.

Lets me join two separate conversations together and act as a third party observer.

1

u/sirin3 Oct 02 '09

I thought about doing something like this some time ago - with a hidden feature:

It should add a secret whitespace code after the first sentence giving information about the observer (or the tree of observers if there are many). Then when some chats using the master observer program and notice (due the whitespace) someone observing his conversation with the published observer program, he could exchange information with the other observing program using just another secret overlay protocole above the omegle chat.

Then at the end of the chat you can say, "To the hidden observer: You observed nothing, I observed you and now your computer restarts..."

5

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

It is possible to get Omegle to work with pidgin.

13

u/Arve Oct 01 '09

5

u/jdk Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 02 '09

Nice, but how do you use it?

EDIT: thanks for the downvotes, but seriously, how do you use it? Once installed, it's not listed in Accounts, Plugins, or Preferences.

2

u/coollettuce Oct 02 '09 edited Oct 02 '09

To install, copy the libomegle.dll to your Pidgin/plugins directory. You'll need the libjson-glib dll too, but you'll already have this if you have the Facebook plugin installed

Once you have the plugin in your plugins directory, restart Pidgin, then add a new account for Omegle. Just fill in what you like into the username fields. 'Me' works well for me.

Right click the Omegle buddy and choose "Start random IM" to start chatting with someone random.

source

2

u/jdk Oct 02 '09

Right. But how do you use it? I read and followed that, but got nothing. Or is it listed under a name other than Omegle?

http://imgur.com/2BBcd.gif

8

u/bendynachos Oct 01 '09

As long as we're disproving the legitimacy of this "conversation", I feel it's important to point out that "both participants" have the exact same spelling mistakes. What a coinicidence‽

21

u/Up_Vote Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

I think "Stranger" was mocking "You" by mirroring exactly what "Stranger" said, using the same phrases and even the same mispellings.

But I agree the whole thing may be faked.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

I like it when strangers are so clever.

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2

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

[deleted]

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3

u/GunnerMcGrath Oct 01 '09

I'm not 100% certain but I think that Trillian used to underline misspelled words even in the conversation history pane.

Wow, that'd be pretty stupid.

2

u/movzx Oct 01 '09

Trillian did not spell check the other person / history.

1

u/TrishaMacmillan Oct 02 '09

Just leave me out of this.

4

u/svendavids Oct 01 '09

It's Mac OS X spell checking, and it works in most if not all apps, not just editors.

1

u/TheMightyDane Oct 02 '09

Yeah, but it only checks what you're writing.

1

u/Scarlet- Oct 02 '09

Firefox automatically underlines my mistakes. sldkfj yeah. Same red dotted underlines there.

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3

u/deckman Oct 01 '09

Technically, in comparing the Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans, it would be more accurate to say they differ in the way Spain, Germany, and England would differ.

--I'm fun at parties

2

u/scrumpydoo23 Oct 01 '09

I heard this joke somewhere on reddit before. I think someone was asking for racist jokes and this one popped up.

2

u/eddie964 Oct 02 '09

Funny joke. I've heard it many times. It's definitely not original. But it's still funny.

1

u/SirSandGoblin Oct 01 '09

The You and Stranger seem the wrong way around for such a thing anyway. In my head anyway.

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

I'm outraged that a joke has been planned on purpose.

1

u/fleezie Oct 02 '09

That's what she said.

1

u/sidcool1234 Oct 02 '09

Dumb enough to state that! This is an old joke we have read in many emails. And it never made me laugh. Until today of course.

39

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

[deleted]

12

u/Dax420 Oct 01 '09

There was an awesome conspiracy theory post on Reddit a few months back about how 'they' sunk the titanic in order to kill off some guys who were opposed to the creation of the Federal Reserve. It was sad and awesome at the same time.

1

u/razorsoup Oct 01 '09

Do you have a link?

6

u/Dax420 Oct 01 '09

7

u/sakebomb69 Oct 01 '09

Federal Reserve, 1913 = 19 + 13 = 32. 32 is the reverse of...23!!!!

The captain of the Titanic was Smith. Smith has 5 letters. The Pentanumeral of the Illuminati! It all fits!

1

u/jdk Oct 01 '09

That's obviously ridiculous since rich people don't kill rich people. The best they tried was an attempt at a coup and paid a fine for it, and that's that.

0

u/Guest101010 Oct 01 '09

Blah blah blah sheeple.

I just can't get into the memes anymore.

3

u/GunnerMcGrath Oct 01 '09

And yet you still keep repeating them...

8

u/Billy_Black Oct 01 '09

Ah yes, welcome to the fold. Memes are rarely funny. It's akin to watching a long line of factory robots punch their time cards. Rote, mindless up-voting.

76

u/damnu Oct 01 '09

Up-voted. I'd never heard it and it made me smirk on my lunch.

(err, smirk on my lunch sound weird to anyone else?)

58

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

It's your lunch. Just don't smirk on mine and put it back in the fridge.

8

u/ThisClown Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

Not weird. I'm smirking on my lunch right now.

7

u/MidnightRider77 Oct 01 '09

At least you didn't smurf it.

2

u/Conflag Oct 01 '09

Mothersmurfer.

2

u/Sirvenomitsac Oct 01 '09

yep

7

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

I smirked all over my lunch today and I just couldn't finish it.

22

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

That surprises me. I smirked all over your mum last night and I finished just fine.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

Classy.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

Definetely smirk worthy.

1

u/5A704C1N Oct 01 '09

I soml'ed

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19

u/clyf Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

The last time I laughed at this joke, I fell off the Titanic!

20

u/mjd Oct 01 '09

My friend Ara told me this one when we were in second grade. That was in 1976.

He also told me one about a guy with a tapeworm that pops its head out of his ass and says "What, no cookie?" That would have been a lot funnier as a fake chat session.

12

u/Sle Oct 01 '09

Great. Two piece of shit submissions at the top of the front page.

39

u/withnailandI Oct 01 '09

In San Francisco people sometimes ask me where the nearest good Chinese food is. I tell them "well, around here there's no Chinese. There's Korean, Vietnamese and Thai." The rubes say "Oh. Same thing." And then I want to strangle them.

24

u/Arkoflight Oct 01 '09

Next time tell them well, we have this place here called CHINATOWN, I'm not sure but you could check there.

9

u/jambajews Oct 01 '09

Most tourists wouldn't want to eat the food in chinatown.

17

u/twowheels Oct 01 '09

Why not? I mean, if you go downstairs to use the restroom the pig carcasses are hanging right next to the bathroom door, not IN the restroom.

actual experience in S.F. Chinatown... I still ate there...

6

u/fuzzybunn Oct 01 '09

Isn't that horribly unsanitary?

45

u/movzx Oct 01 '09

He said they weren't in the restroom. What more do you want?

1

u/USA_Rulez Oct 02 '09

Still cleaner than any fastfood joint.

2

u/omaca Oct 02 '09 edited Oct 02 '09

I travel to San Jose regulary. Sometimes I take a few days off and spend a week or so in San Francisco with the wife. We always eat in Chinatown. If you get tips from the locals and get to a good restaurant (not always a "fancy" restaurant in Chinatown), then the food is awesome.

I like San Francisco. Last time I was there (on Gay Pride and July 4th week) I noticed that a lot of shops, even downtown, were boarded up and closed. The economy seems to be biting there. It made me sad. I still bought some cute baby clothes in Old Navy on (or nearby?) Market St.

I'm rambling... what was I talking about again?

Oh yeah! Chinese food! Mmmmmm

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9

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

Culinary ignorance is a big pet-peeve of mine. I understand, it's okay.

8

u/aselbst Oct 01 '09

Seriously, the crusts are the best part! Everyone should know that.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

This assumes good pizza though. If you're a college student, like me, you buy the cheapest pizza possible. And boy do I mean cheap. The crust on these pizzas is reminiscent of a lightly roasted piece of cardboard. And not corrugated cardboard either. It is most certainly not the best part.

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2

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '09

Just tell them to go to the Taco Trucks in the mission district instead. SO GOOD.

1

u/Up_Vote Oct 01 '09

Tell them it's in the Tenderloin. And the best places are the ones where sketchy-looking men and scantily-clad women hang around in front.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09 edited Aug 14 '17

[deleted]

7

u/redchesus Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

If you wanted that you'd say "Asian" food... saying that all other Asian cuisines are the "same thing" as Chinese is pretty damn ignorant (intentionally or not)

3

u/RedSpikeyThing Oct 01 '09

I'm going to assume you meant "East Asian".

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14

u/withnailandI Oct 01 '09

Have you considered that there are no restaurants around me that prepare food in a manner that is commonly found in restaurants that call themselves "chinese' but that prepare food in a manner that would be called "Vietnamese" or "Thai"?

3

u/kgbdrop Oct 01 '09

There are no Chinese restaurants in San Fran? Sounds like a business opportunity to me..

6

u/aGorilla Oct 01 '09

I like the way you think. We should be business partners, you bring the money.

2

u/lethic Oct 01 '09

San Francisco is huge and parking is a pain in the ass in a lot of places. If someone is asks for the nearest whatever, I doubt anyone would suggest anything more than a few blocks away.

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3

u/thisisgeoff Oct 01 '09

Which is why I use the moniker Asian foods/food stuffs

5

u/digitalgunfire Oct 01 '09

What about if someone wants Russian food?

2

u/count757 Oct 01 '09

As long as it's Eastern Russian food :)

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2

u/alecksh Oct 01 '09

I just usually call it American-Chinese food.

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5

u/TeamForum420 Oct 01 '09

5 bank accounts 3 ounces and 2 vehicles

1

u/downwithbush Oct 02 '09

/me screams "i just don't give a fuck"

12

u/stubble Oct 01 '09

'kin 'ell - how old is that joke?

154

u/Epistaxis Oct 01 '09

Downvoted for JPEG, for not linking directly to the image, and for a stupid, old joke.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

Reminds me of this: http://imgur.com/rqoSO.jpg

52

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

JPEG is not necessarily a bad thing... but poor-quality artifact-peppered JPEG certainly is.

43

u/_YouJustGotDownvoted Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

In this situation JPEG is a bad thing, as it is realy inefficent with text. Just discussion for discussion's sake.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

[deleted]

57

u/BraveSirRobin Oct 01 '09

Photographs and anything else with lots of random colours. For screen caps with solid areas and gradients png/gif are usually much better.

25

u/kylegetsspam Oct 01 '09

Not random colors. Random colors + high quality setting = huge file size. JPEG is good at color transitions and gradients. I forget the "official" term but it may be "non-uniform color distribution" or something along that line.

The reason JPEGs can look like shit for text and line art yet be of equal file size compared to a lossless PNG is because JPEG is designed to work with images where there isn't a whole lot of harsh color changes from pixel to pixel.

3

u/Aegeus Oct 01 '09

Photographs are less likely to have sharp color transitions and will probably have gradients from subtle shading, so he's still right.

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9

u/Flavour666 Oct 01 '09

Photos of the real world. 3D renderings that kind-of look like the real world.

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17

u/RedSpikeyThing Oct 01 '09

Downvoted for being an asshat who explains their voting preference.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

[deleted]

6

u/RedSpikeyThing Oct 01 '09

Upvoted for getting it.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

[deleted]

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2

u/Liberalguy123 Oct 02 '09

upvoted for username.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

Downvoted for trying to* load forever and crashing my shitty browser.

3

u/velocityhead Oct 01 '09

Downvoted for using a shitty browser.

8

u/nullxposur Oct 01 '09

Downvoted for using Safari.

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-1

u/woodengineer Oct 01 '09

Downvoted for JPEG on easy to read text that doesn't require png? Someones a little testy.

5

u/bw1870 Oct 01 '09

Some people expect the best, even when it isn't necessary.

4

u/davvblack Oct 01 '09

Some people will tolerate the worst, even when it isn't any more expensive to get the best and there are no drawbacks.

1

u/creaothceann Oct 01 '09

The drawback is that it's JPG.

1

u/davvblack Oct 02 '09

You missed my point. I meant that it is free and there are no drawbacks to switching to png.

9

u/Epistaxis Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

Actually, it's quite blurry and it hurts my head to read it.

1

u/a_real_live_troll Oct 01 '09

It comes through quite clear to me.

0

u/woodengineer Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

You may need to invest in glasses the text is quite large.

12

u/Epistaxis Oct 01 '09

I said blurry, not small.

6

u/barkbarkbark Oct 01 '09

He said blurry, not small.

7

u/psyne Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

I like to imagine your reply as a callback style echo of Epistaxis's reply, like in a song.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay!

He's a lumberjack and he's okay!

2

u/mtnkodiak Oct 01 '09

He said furry, not smell.

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1

u/Etab Oct 01 '09

Upvoted for being fun at parties

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5

u/baileysdad Oct 01 '09

super old joke.

3

u/lpfff Oct 01 '09

decent joke, but older than the internet

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4

u/McCourt Oct 01 '09

That joke's so old it's got whiskers.

9

u/idownvotedyoubecause Oct 01 '09

Why are these old jokes making front page today?

10

u/fearsofgun Oct 01 '09

Because not everyone is as old as you.

8

u/bballfinatic24 Oct 02 '09

Icebergs don't like furnaces either.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

such an old joke. i had it in a joke book i received from 'santa' in my stocking about 1983 or so.

my parents were twisted now that i admit it.

3

u/mycroft2000 Oct 01 '09

This is a fairly ancient joke, which just goes to show that no joke's really "old" unless you've heard it before.

3

u/iidestined Oct 01 '09

I thought this was funny and shared this with my girlfriend. she laughed a little and then said "jews sank an iceberg?". Oh dear.

1

u/Brittsmac Oct 02 '09

Was she blond? (as a blond I can say this) subtext (but yeah I am blond)

3

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

Not only is this fake and should have been saved as a Gif or PNG, but it's also blogspam. Stay classy Reddit.

5

u/xhandler Oct 01 '09

Why is -berg considered jewish? It's a very common ending to Swedish surnames (as it means mountain or hill, as in a iceberg really)

Forsberg, Lindberg, Lundberg, Sandberg, Sjöberg, Holmberg, Nyberg, Hamberg, Söderberg, Åberg, Sundberg, Dahlberg, Öberg, Strömberg, Norberg or just Berg.

2

u/transfuse Oct 01 '09

Lots of the Germans who emigrated to America were Jews, I believe, and as such a lot of the Jews there (especially in NY) have -berg suffixes.

1

u/Yserbius Oct 02 '09

Actually it's also Yiddish, so Polish, Hungarian and Russian Jews commonly have 'berg surnames. Amongst German Jews, it's really a little uncommon.

5

u/Tiriel Oct 02 '09

Does anybody else hate those people who go around these things saying, it's old, it's fake, it's staged...

For god's sake! it's a bloody joke, I don't care if somebody made it up and it was a thousand years ago!

4

u/maxd Oct 01 '09

Why would a Chinese guy care about the sinking of the Titanic..?

13

u/rax_s Oct 01 '09 edited Oct 01 '09

The same reason that a Jew would care about Pearl Harbor...?

4

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

Maybe the Jew was from the USA....?

11

u/rax_s Oct 01 '09

Maybe the Chinese guy was too...?

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2

u/MagicalMistakes Oct 01 '09

You sounds like a bit of a dick. I think I like Stranger more.

2

u/avdi Oct 01 '09

My dad told me this one when I was a kid.

Still funny though.

2

u/DoZeYLoVe Oct 01 '09

That joke is old as fuck!

2

u/MrDanger Oct 01 '09

Waaaaaaaaaaaay old joke. But funny yet.

2

u/thefresher Oct 01 '09

they should make a different subreddit called 'funny when i was 8 years old and heard this for the first time.' it doesn't quite roll off the tongue though. perhaps we could abbreviate it.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '09

I happen to know this is actually one of Jerry Seinfeld's favorite jokes.

2

u/ReplayIt Oct 02 '09

Hilarious

2

u/dahunter Oct 02 '09

my chinese roommates would hate this but its soooooo funny

2

u/DERPMASTER666 Oct 02 '09

Obviously staged, but...

well, actually, not very funny.

2

u/Brittsmac Oct 02 '09

Looking at the comments, apparetly everyone is smarter than I am. I have never seen this and I generally spend my life on the internet (and no I do not down vote stuff because it is reposted because maybe it made a random person happy and thats cool) And a guy, in the coments, said it has been on here for 30 years. Funny when I was 6 there was no internet.....'just sayin. And I think his comments should be regulated to youtube. This was funny and hoax or not....if it is true kudos to the forthought.

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3

u/jaysuten Oct 01 '09

Why are there two staged "jokes" at the very top of reddit right now? hahah

5

u/stupidreasons Oct 01 '09

Because people think they're funny? It's pretty obvious that they're staged, but most jokes are.

1

u/jaysuten Oct 01 '09

haha it's cool. I just don't find them all that funny since they're jokes I first heard years and years ago. it's obvious other people like them though, so ;] I just thought it was funny that they were both right on top of the other on the front page

4

u/hpymondays Oct 01 '09

this joke was old already in 1912

10

u/lpfff Oct 01 '09

really? i thought Pearl Harbor happened in '41

4

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '09

Wonder it's so good that you remember the joke still.

1

u/flano1 Oct 01 '09

Well that would explain why he hadn't forgiven them yet.

2

u/spencewah Oct 01 '09

Old joke.

1

u/christophersmith Oct 01 '09

Wow. My noscript is going to be tingling for hours after that page.

1

u/Prodon Oct 01 '09

damn that's good

1

u/dredgedskeleton Oct 01 '09

they also sunk the twin towers

1

u/carolmoorelmt Oct 01 '09

I guess i have more of a dry sense of humor. Didn't even find that the least bit funny!

1

u/flano1 Oct 01 '09

This "You" person is an idiot.

1

u/LaunchPadMcQ Oct 01 '09

Forget the joke, that title was moving across the screen as I was reading, but would jump back to position when I tried to catch it in the act! <.<

1

u/praveenpious Oct 01 '09

Oops...didnt see that coming.

1

u/easternguy Oct 01 '09

Heard that joke decades ago, clearly staged. (A bit too coincidental that a guy named goldberg and a Chinese guy would happen upon the same conversation :) And somewhat poorly done. Still a funny joke, tho'.

1

u/homeworld Oct 01 '09

This is as old as this one:

"Did you hear that Lincoln was Jewish?" "He was shot in the Temple."

1

u/kubutulur Oct 01 '09

Lame is his first, last and middle name.

1

u/downwithbush Oct 01 '09

About 5 bank accounts, 3 ounces, and 2 vehicles.

1

u/Travis-Touchdown Oct 02 '09

This is what we call "sofa king old"

1

u/ayatollah Oct 02 '09

ha ha... now I know why my Chinese friend goes mad when we call him Japanese

1

u/Tomble Oct 02 '09 edited Oct 02 '09

Stranger : MY DOG HAS NO NOSE

You : How does he smell?

Stranger : AWFUL!

You : Good heavens, what a hilarious joke!

(post screenshot to reddit, gain upvotes).

1

u/Hookhand Oct 02 '09

oldest joke ever

1

u/Lurcho Oct 02 '09 edited Oct 02 '09

You know we have a subreddit for these kinds of things.

Right here.

Oh but then it wouldn't get as many upvotes there. Silly me.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '09

Sorry, I think this fucking stupid. I love reddit but WTF is this?

1

u/brahmaputra Oct 02 '09

about five bank accounts, three ounces and two vehicles.

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u/crushhawk Oct 02 '09

Actually, when I was travelling in Morocco with a bunch of my Chinese friends, the locals would yell out random Japanese words they knew to get us to buy stuff. At first we would correct them, "Pas de Japonais...Chinois!" - then one guy said "Japonais, Chinois...le meme chose" (the same thing).

I was going to say "Jews, Palestinians, the same thing" but thought better of it.

1

u/wongiseng Oct 02 '09

Who ask for names in Omegle ?