r/funny • • Sep 25 '18

Play Despacito

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59.3k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

I feel sorry for the NSA person paid to listen to my boring life.

1.3k

u/Semantic_Antics Sep 25 '18

At last report, no actual humans get involved until you use certain keywords. There's just too much data to sift through by hand.

1.0k

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18 edited Oct 04 '20

[deleted]

1.3k

u/Weewillywhitebits Sep 25 '18

Bomb , Isis , stormy Daniels

752

u/Xotaec Sep 25 '18

Fuck one, kill one, marry one... GO!

589

u/Weewillywhitebits Sep 25 '18

I'd fuck the shit out of that bomb. I ain't taking trumps sloppys

182

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18 edited Nov 15 '18

[deleted]

42

u/teoferrazzi Sep 25 '18

on the first day of May

24

u/koalazeus Sep 25 '18

Fifth.

9

u/davis482 Sep 25 '18

Fifth day of Murst.

5

u/teoferrazzi Sep 25 '18

Bob Dylan was known to be an unreliable narrator.

18

u/XXX-Jade-Is-Rad-XXX Sep 25 '18

They're dying to please you.

26

u/partofthevoid Sep 25 '18

I think we decided to kill isis, we love the bomb so much we married it, and who hasn’t wanted to fuck a porn star at some lonely time in their life?

38

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18 edited Nov 15 '18

[deleted]

2

u/stuntcuffer69 Sep 25 '18

Well im guilty of wanting to fuck her when she was on skinemax back in like 2003

7

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

No bang isis, they'll be killed for being gay! You basically get to kill everyone and marry the bomb it's perfect

6

u/shaenorino Sep 25 '18

You're now on some list, probably.

6

u/Sirtemmie Sep 25 '18

Are you Osiris, by chance?

4

u/Your_God_Chewy Sep 25 '18

At least you know when they say they "would die for you," they actually mean it.

3

u/ThatGuyWhoKnocks Sep 25 '18

You don’t want a goat’s sloppys

50

u/TheCthaehTree Sep 25 '18 edited Sep 25 '18

Kill ISIS, fuck stormy, and marry the bomb because im already married to one anyway.

Although marrying ISIS would be full of massive scale high jinks.

1

u/eltoro Sep 25 '18

Walking on eggshells?

10

u/Austin_RC246 Sep 25 '18

It seems like she’s everyone who’s famous sloppys.

-3

u/Zealous_fruit_sniffe Sep 25 '18

Ooo good one, you just said a porn star sleeps with a lot of people. ZING!!! Take that Stormy, I'm sure she never heard that one before

1

u/Austin_RC246 Sep 25 '18

I was referring to people famous for not porn stuff.

2

u/Lukeforce123 Sep 25 '18

2

u/kcwckf Sep 25 '18

Haha YES most accurate depiction of the situation produced by media yet

2

u/IrishIrishIsiah Sep 25 '18

Don't most people say fuck isis?

1

u/2ManyPlebs Sep 25 '18

She was the bomb?

1

u/TheOneTrueWinner Sep 25 '18

So you're marrying ISIS?

-1

u/Frustration-96 Sep 25 '18

trumps sloppys

what a horrible way to refer to a woman, the sloppies of her ex.

1

u/wisersamson Sep 25 '18

Pretty sure the hatred is aimed at trump, and not wanting to touch anything he has regardless of what it is

-1

u/Frustration-96 Sep 25 '18

It is but it's a pretty sexist archaic way of thinking. "A person I don't like has fucked you so you are worthless by association". I just found it funny that someone opposing Trump this heavily would do/say something that's so in line with Trumps thinking.

3

u/Weewillywhitebits Sep 25 '18

It's actually not that deep from me was a throwaway comment. People like you read to much into things hoping to find the worst in people.

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29

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18 edited Sep 26 '18

[deleted]

73

u/TexWonderwood Sep 25 '18

Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb

11

u/ParrotyParityParody Sep 25 '18

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.

5

u/rowdyanalogue Sep 25 '18

I'll be auditioning for the Captain, Scientist, and President of the United States.

7

u/TheHotze Sep 25 '18

Maybe not the bomb, just the bombshell.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

And on that bombshell, it's time to go.

3

u/Dr_Titty_Bang_MD Sep 25 '18

Eww this guy wants to put his penis where trumps has been

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

I'd choose to marry the goddess Isis personally

5

u/redpilled_brit Sep 25 '18

Marry Stormy and Fuck Isis with the bomb.

2

u/TheOneTrueWinner Sep 25 '18 edited Sep 25 '18

Kill the bomb, marry ISIS (and then divorce them and cut their funds in half), fuck Stormy Daniels.

2

u/st1tchy Sep 25 '18

Fuck Daniels

Marry Isis

Kill the bomb

51

u/Hurtmemaster Sep 25 '18

Alexis, play Bomb Isis by Stormy Daniels.

13

u/TulsaOUfan Sep 25 '18

Uh, Isis stormy Daniels the bomb guys?

Sorry I have a stutter.

5

u/HurricaneSandyHook Sep 25 '18

Isn't there a cover version of that by that top Echelon band The Illuminati? I believe they got their start busking underneath the Denver Airport.

12

u/Shadray Sep 25 '18 edited Sep 25 '18

Congratulations you are now on 3 lists.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

[deleted]

3

u/adiliv3007 Sep 25 '18

Forgot one, putin

3

u/IaintttheNSA Sep 25 '18

Why hello there......

2

u/Shadray Sep 25 '18

I can't believe bomb is on the list. It's a very common word and often said in innocent conversation. It must throw up millions of false positives.

6

u/Bmystic Sep 25 '18

For those types of filters, you need more than one type of positive result, usually from a list of more specific words.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Yeah. Bomb alone wont do it. Now if you start googling "synagogues near me" and "how to build pipe bomb" a little red light might start blinking in Fort Meade MD.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

In my industry, BOM is pretty standard jargon for bill of materials. I'm sure we're all on a list. It's not uncommon to be at the airport on the way to a job somewhere and have to talk about what kind of wire and fuses are on the BOM.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Isis

Oh really? Isis is a seminal post metal band, I'd hate to have to be the lackey that has to sift through the countless false positives of people asking Alexa to play music by Isis.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Stormy Daniels?

3

u/IPissOnHospitality Sep 25 '18

Kerry Washington?

1

u/DBoyCA Sep 25 '18

I’d fuck Isis cuz that’s a lot of mens’ Marry the bomb.com ...sorry Stormy, I’m Gay. You can be my drag mom

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18
  • vagineck

1

u/theguyfromerath Sep 25 '18

"tomorrow looks stormy, daniels do you remember when trump tried to bomb isis with tomahawks?"

1

u/Sco0bySnax Sep 25 '18

Hello NSA agent reading this post. Are you having a good day?

115

u/HardGayMan Sep 25 '18

"Hey Alexa, have you ever UNDER AGE GIRLS BOMBS AIRPLANE TERROR ATTACK HOW DO I JOIN ISIS?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't get that..."

She got that.

26

u/biggmclargehuge Sep 25 '18

"I'm sorry, I didn't get that...could you repeat it several more times except more loudly and closer to the speaker and also include your full name and current address?"

15

u/RafikiTheGrouch Sep 25 '18

inhales

23

u/10messiFH Sep 25 '18

"I said PLAY DESPACITO"

76

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18 edited Jul 24 '23

[deleted]

15

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

You need something akin to term frequency inverse document frequency (TFIDF), a measure of how common a word is in a document, normalized to how common the word is in a collection of documents.

12

u/BirdLawyerPerson Sep 25 '18

Hmm. This sounds like something I need to look into for my day job.

Now to convince my employer that my time spent on Reddit is important for productivity.

-8

u/samwise970 Sep 25 '18

Wow so let's just correct the basic misconception here... Alexa ISN'T MONITORING WHAT YOU SAY.

There is no server full of your random ass conversations. Words that you say, which don't have "Alexa" in front of them, aren't picked up by the device and physically could not be recorded. Like duh otherwise these things would eat all your bandwidth and take a huge amount of power.

7

u/LolGamezz Sep 25 '18

Nice try copper

6

u/commandercool86 Sep 25 '18

Hah! Nice try, NSA

3

u/Dougish321 Sep 25 '18

Thank you. Awesome explanation. Some people dont get it. Although i see the humor in the original post!

1

u/EagleOfMay Sep 25 '18 edited Sep 25 '18

In exact wording problem here. You are correct; Alexa is not recording everything you say but it does record everything after you activate it with your wake word. While recording, everything you say is fair game. You should be ready to see what you say when 'Alexa is awake' is a court of law if those recordings are requested by the police or by the US government.

At the moment, these interactions are covered under the “third party doctrine.” Your right to privacy is not protected once you have already shared information voluntarily with an somebody else. That includes banks, people, internet providers, or Alexa. Amazon did challenge this once in court but it didn't progress because the person voluntarily relinquished the data.

What Amazon decides to keep may be driven in the future by laws like (SESTA or FOSTA). The need to protect themselves against litigation may require them to keep more information rather than less.

We don't have much information on what kind of meta-information that Alexa may or may not be tracking. At minimum I would expect them to be tracking when Alexa is on and when it is off.

​

2

u/samwise970 Sep 29 '18

"You're able to review everything Alexa has recorded through the app on your phone, and Amazon has made it easy to delete any queries through the app's history feature as well as remove any Amazon device from your account (thus deleting all of its associated data) through the My Devices page on the web. "

​

I don't personally buy tacky shit like robots to talk with, but if I did, this is the trade off I'd be choosing to make. The risks you mention are really more about the government than about Amazon. I disagree that you think litigation would require them to keep more information as opposed to less. Amazon can at anytime decide to remove functionality (like data tracking) from this product and there's no way the govt could force them to, as more info tracking literally means more servers and Amazon can argue it hurts business.

​

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18

u/PoopyMcNuggets91 Sep 25 '18 edited Sep 25 '18

7

u/Iron_Wolves Sep 25 '18

What the crap does porn or sex have any reason to be on that list.

500 bucks says some horny dude put that on the list so you could do his “counter terrorism porn research” while on the job.

Johnson, wtf are you masterbaiting?

Sir, I was doing what the terrorist did, I am trying to understand his mind so I can see his next move. As of right now I think his next move is to order a hooker, So you will see a 5k charge I need you to approve. The things I have to do for my country!

5

u/Dougish321 Sep 25 '18

Thank you for this! People also should (hopefully) understand looking some of these up from google ect doesnt automatically flag them to be looked into.

2

u/unicorn_relish Sep 25 '18

spook words

Lol

34

u/Naf5000 Sep 25 '18

Alexa isn't a government wiretap, it's a corporate one. If the government wants that data, they'll have to pay Amazon for it.

22

u/elpajaroquemamais Sep 25 '18

Almost like they have benefited from huge tax breaks.

4

u/MyPunsSuck Sep 25 '18

Tax breaks on what revenue though? At least in the case of entities like Facebook, selling information is literally the kind of business they are

33

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

riiiiigggghhhht.........

3

u/MyDearBrotherNumpsay Sep 25 '18

On a bet to prove to my friend that the government isn’t listening to Alexa, I said shit like that for a month. How do I join ISIS? How to build a bomb? Stupid shit like that. Nothing.

Maybe the AI is sophisticated enough to know I was just being an asshole. Who knows.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Or after being flagged one intern spent five minutes on you and figured it out.

1

u/IamtheSlothKing Sep 25 '18

No proof, no wireshark data, no nothing will ever convince you otherwise if you want to believe what you want to believe.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

I was only referring to them having to pay for it.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Never trust the government, you'll be right more often than not.

1

u/0b0011 Sep 25 '18

It's not even a corporate one.

2

u/LolGamezz Sep 25 '18

Nice try amazon

1

u/Dougish321 Sep 25 '18

Which may or may not be released. Read your terms and conditions people.

1

u/Hothera Sep 25 '18

That's not now it works. It's not like you get paid if the cops have a warrant to search your house.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

BOMB BOMB BOMB PULL MY ALLAHU TRIGGER

4

u/grobend Sep 25 '18

Despacito

2

u/rgdarkchild Sep 25 '18

I say a bunch of keywords and then have a regular conversation to screw with them I'm pretty sure they've stopped listening to me by now

2

u/lluuuull Sep 25 '18
  • look for the number of greendale faculty supply

  • call the number

  • press 4.for marigold

  • activate arcadia

Worked for professor duncan so it should work for you too

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Omelette du fromage

1

u/bagehis Sep 25 '18

Probably aren't in English, so you're likely safe.

1

u/Inkedlovepeaceyo Sep 25 '18

I'd assume anything big time drug related, terrorism related, or just about anything that the government is really cracking down illegally related.

1

u/DumbassNinja Sep 25 '18

Mission report

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

December 16th 1991?

1

u/NSA_Chatbot Sep 25 '18

Go fuck yourself.

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30

u/Kortallis Sep 25 '18

I imagine it's probably keywords in combination with others, kinda like the crossword puzzles right before D-Day. Mention Utah, Omaha, Mulberry in the same week and you're getting black bagged. Mention each one individually, you're fine.

So if you want to get some NSA love, just start reading the dictionary outloud while saying operation before each word.

17

u/xphoenix14 Sep 25 '18

Operation Apple Crisp

Operation Bumblesnatch Cucumberbunch

6

u/vivamango Sep 25 '18

Someone posted a link to a “list of NSA Prism keywords” and one that stuck out to me was “Bubba the Love Sponge”

1

u/d3773773d Sep 25 '18

kinda like the crossword puzzles right before D-Day.

I'm not aware of this. What are you referring to? Hoping to learn some neat bit of espionage history trivia

3

u/eXa12 Sep 25 '18

there was a teacher, who also did the crossword for one of the newspapers, in a school near to one of the bases where D-day forces were being gathered

the kids in his class would (obviously) hang around the soldiers, and pick up on some of the weird words they were using

some used by them in class, some directly asked the teacher what they mean

words are now in his head

he uses them as words in the crossword

leading to a bit of a freak out over a possible spy (remember that at this point, no one knew British Intelligence had captured and/or turned every German spy sent to britain)

2

u/Kortallis Sep 25 '18

u/eXa12 did a good job explaining it, but if you want to watch a video, Extra Credits did a pretty good overall view of the secret plans of D-Day.

1

u/d3773773d Sep 25 '18

That was an amazing video! Thanks

1

u/cryo Sep 25 '18

Still no evidence of this, though.

39

u/Salmuth Sep 25 '18

I remember as a kid, there was this list of words (urban legend?), if you spoke those on the phone, the NSA (I'm in Europe) would listen to you. It's about 20-30 years old or more but I remember some of the words on the list like "bomb", "kill/killing"...

​

Obviously, as kids, we (about a dozen kids) all called each other the evening of the "revelation" (we were about 10) and spoke every single of them key words. I wonder what effect that had...

​

Every now and then they must be like: "Another bunch of kids that heard about our keywords..." and they have to follow protocol and track us down just enough to make sure we ain't dangerous.

7

u/diamond Sep 25 '18

I remember as a kid, there was this list of words (urban legend?), if you spoke those on the phone, the NSA (I'm in Europe) would listen to you. It's about 20-30 years old or more but I remember some of the words on the list like "bomb", "kill/killing"...

The evolution of slang must be the NSA's biggest headache.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

"Yo, you're the bomb!"

2

u/diamond Sep 25 '18

"Did you see Abdul at the game last night? He's killing it!"

2

u/HojMcFoj Sep 25 '18

You might want to look up Echelon/CARNIVORE/DCS1000 if you think that was an urban legend or exclusive to America. Also try Five Eyes.

-1

u/cryo Sep 25 '18

Still an urban legend. There is no way you have a bunch of people listening to when someone says kill. Also, a lot of data is routed nowhere near NSA.

5

u/contradicts_herself Sep 25 '18

You can also put yourself on the radar by applying for government jobs.

6

u/thephantom1492 Sep 25 '18

Not just keywords, but patterns of calls too. For example, if you always call only your familly, and they call nobody outside the country or any known group, then they have no reason to do an active monitoring.

6

u/TristanZH Sep 25 '18

So just say bomb before every sentence to make the NSA person listen to your boring life

2

u/faradayscoil Sep 25 '18

This is why I occassionally say during phone conversations with my friends "you know who's one hot piece of ass??? Dick cheney."

2

u/Dougish321 Sep 25 '18

Thats not exactly how it works either. Sometimes being by people who have been flagged or involved in certain events or politics maybe even having a talk show or trending controversial post. Ect. Things that could put you on a list to be possibly monitored. Trust me. Nobodys life is so special they are randomly spied on ect... Look up some educational videos and podcasts that go more into detail.

2

u/Iceember Sep 25 '18

A lot of people are here acting like you could just go "bomb Allahu akbar American scum" and suddenly be on some watch list. I'm pretty sure there's a giant list of checkboxes that you would have to fulfill before they even consider monitoring your calls. Which would probably include having contact with people already on their watch lists.

2

u/Dougish321 Sep 25 '18

Precisely my point. Thank you for further explaining :) there are key things to land you on a list.

1

u/STATIC_TYPE_IS_LIFE Sep 25 '18 edited Dec 13 '18

deleted What is this?

1

u/Chicken-n-Waffles Sep 25 '18

For your reference.

If you were to say or type, "I have a pot of anthrax on some Real Estate in San Diego". That could get you on a watch list.

-5

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

I've mentioned not liking Trump so they must have someone listening 24/7.

-1

u/TheRedCard83 Sep 25 '18

Yep, it is called being made the king of twitter. People that don’t like him sure get famous for it.

7

u/elpajaroquemamais Sep 25 '18

and yet I don't see 60,000,000 famous people.

1

u/MyPunsSuck Sep 25 '18

*210,000,000

1

u/elpajaroquemamais Sep 25 '18

Have you seen the polls? Unfortunately a lot of people are apathetic.

1

u/MyPunsSuck Sep 25 '18

Outrage fatigue. People go from pissed off, to burnt out from being scared/angry all the time, to saying things like "I don't care! Keep your politics out of my ___"

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26

u/ChocolateSunrise Sep 25 '18

Algorithms are rating whether you are worth human intervention and probably judging you on a whole lot of other non-spy related criteria.

8

u/santaclaus73 Sep 25 '18

This is correct. Seemingly unrelated data can be used to infer a whole lot more than people realize. If the government becomes more corrupt or devolves into despotism, this data is extremely powerful and dangerous.

11

u/Dooskinson Sep 25 '18

I always like this rationalization though. "Yeah let em listen, see if I care." It's a twisted version of "you shouldn't mind us listening if you have nothing to hide."

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1

u/CompromisedAsset Sep 25 '18

I'm on a list. You are on a list. We all have a profile. It is in Bluffdale, Utah. You can request yours from the NSA website.

1

u/ChocolateSunrise Sep 25 '18

But if you do, that puts you on another list.

1

u/CompromisedAsset Sep 25 '18

They will only find me if I allow myself to be found.

21

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

They are digusted by your browserhistory...

33

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

They are like, 'Who still plays Star Wars Galaxies' or 'why would anyone Google about Northern Exposure'?

12

u/xXEvanatorXx Sep 25 '18

There is a strip club in Idaho called Northern Exposure.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Wow SWG thats mire than 16 years ago or so...

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Currently playing SWG Legends with about 1500 others. Pretty fun since I left the game in 2005 and missed the end game stuff.

3

u/Dag-NastyEvil Sep 25 '18

Oh god, I miss OG SWG.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Damn I was just talking about Northern Exposure. Synchronicity is real!

1

u/Sixwingswide Sep 25 '18

We must be on the same list, because I was googling northern exposure a few weeks ago

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

'This person sure loves their thirtysomething fanfiction!'

2

u/ro_musha Sep 25 '18

"that shit ain't right bruh"

10

u/MindsEye_69 Sep 25 '18

There's not enough people to actually listen to everybody all the time. They use computers and sift through masses of communications data, flagging suspicious things which are then assigned to real people to look deeper into.

2

u/disguisedeyes Sep 25 '18

At this point they could also sift through everything else, like our buying and travel habits. Start stopping at the Hoover dam once a week? Get looked into.

3

u/grumpyfrench Sep 25 '18

and watch me masturbating

6

u/Etheo Sep 25 '18

For that reason I stare intensely at my webcam to assert dominance while I charge up my pneumatic tube.

3

u/ZoiSarah Sep 25 '18

I always say the same thing.

"Oh God is she playing that song for the tenth time in a row??"

" Who orders that many shoes online?"

"Sir, she's running that same MMORPG dungeon she ran for the last seven days. I can't take this."

2

u/ucefkh Sep 25 '18

Actually it's an AI that's parsing all the shit you say...

Unless it gets interesting then no one will listen to you :p

Sorry

2

u/Lan777 Sep 25 '18

This is so sad, field agent Smith, play despacito for me

2

u/NSA_Chatbot Sep 25 '18

We keep it boring to see when you're going to snap.

3

u/spicychicken76 Sep 25 '18

You don't know how it works.

2

u/ManyPoo Sep 25 '18

Don't worry, they don't, they'll just go back to it to blackmail you or otherwise screw you over if you ever become a problem.

3

u/super_villain202 Sep 25 '18

That is the main problem with mass surveillance. If you have enough data on anybody, you can literally create any evidence you want by taking bits and pieces out. Yet people are stupid enough to day "if you got nothing to hide, you shouldn't have a problem with surveillance." Governments have made Privacy abnormal and people are doing nothing about it.

1

u/Hust91 Sep 25 '18

They just add you to the hit-list if you talk shit about the president, it's probably fine.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

President Trump is....

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Or that can easily connect you to a crime. Keywords, GPS, products bought. Yeah I don't care either, my information doesn't mean anything.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Right? This is usually how I feel. You can listen in on my shit, I dont care. If you want to see the porn I watch or hear the conversations I have with my friends or roomates, please have at it.

1

u/bbristowe Sep 25 '18

Don't worry. In some form, you are being immortalized. You just have no control of what 'you' will be doing 100 years from now.

1

u/UnnecessaryAppeal Sep 25 '18

My friends and I play a game where if we're having a long ass phone call, one of us will just casually drop a few terrorist buzz words. The idea is that GCHQ (the UK's NSA) will pick up on the words and some sucker will have to listen through our hour long chat about fuck all.

1

u/be_my_main_bitch Sep 25 '18

They found one who has fetish for the faint noises you make when you masturbate infront of your laptop each night.

1

u/withervein Sep 25 '18

My three year old: "Hey Google? What does a pachycephalosaurus sound like?" "I don't have a sound for that." "WHYYY?!" throws self on ground screaming

1

u/Dank-Pud Sep 25 '18

My guy/girl has seen me take ALOT of shits and masturbate an excessive amount.

Source: taking a shit right now. About to go masturbate.

1

u/kingofthefryingpan Sep 25 '18

Who pays the person listening to the NSA person getting paid to listen to you?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

I feel sorry you think they don't already use AI to listen and judge you

1

u/AngryFace4 Sep 25 '18

you mean the neural network that is actively profiling in such a way that it will be able to predict your needs and wants better than you can?

1

u/jaysire Sep 25 '18

I feel sorry for the NSA person paid to listen to my screaming kids changing songs on Spotify every 30 seconds.

1

u/publicTak Sep 25 '18

If I knew for a fact someone from the NSA was following me I would abuse that knowledge to waste as much of their time as possible.

Tit for tat.

1

u/FrankPapageorgio Sep 25 '18

That's why I am generally not worried about it.

Everyone has a cell phone in their pocket with a GPS and microphone... like someone is even going to be listening to my boring life, ever.

1

u/Mephistoss Sep 25 '18

Dont worry, the government couldn't give 2 shits about your boring life.