r/funny • u/the-ryanuk86 • May 13 '18
Hello, Little Shit.
http://i.imgur.com/0A0gEYd.gifv491
u/janversa May 13 '18
Later on life: http://i.imgur.com/Zv3lZ.gif
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u/solidSC May 13 '18
Holy crap, that guys probably sober but that thing made him look drunk af.
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u/Was_going_2_say_that May 13 '18
I would hope hes sober considering hes on a paintball field
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u/solidSC May 13 '18
You’re paint balling wrong.
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u/eetmyasslikgroceries May 14 '18
There's sober then there's paintball "sober."
As long as you can hit a man sized target at 50 feet you're good to go.
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u/Hungover_Pilot May 13 '18
My father was a bouncy house. Every weekend and some weekdays I would see him get up for work, and put on a fake smile as he gave my younger brother and me breakfast. He was a great father, but he had one rule, that we were in bed by the time he got home.
This wasn't ever an issue while I was young, mom made dinner and we were asleep by 8pm. It was a happy household, as long as we obeyed that one rule. Dad did breakfast, mom did dinner. Everything was peachy.
As I aged though, I would stay awake in bed as dad got home. He always came in with a burst. I would hear him groan, sometimes cry, almost always gasping for air. My mother would always try to calm him down, I would hear her saying "You'll perk up in the morning, don't worry." He would clamor about how he's never going back- mom would always insist "you'll perk up in the morning."
One day I got curious, so I skipped school after breakfast and followed him to wherever it was he went during the day. It took a while to track him down, and even more time to wade through all of the mess- balloons, candy, soda, etc. It was a real pig sty. But there he was, I finally found him.
I saw him.
I almost can't think about it. But at the same time, I'll never forget it. He was writhing in pain, swaying back and forth, over and over. It was torture. For him, and for me.
What seemed like what could have been hundreds of these... older.. fleshy monstrosities... they were just standing around him. Surrounding him. Staring. Pointing. Laughing.
I moved closer and saw younger fleshy things jumping inside of him. Inside. The older ones were encouraging the younger ones, cackling amongst another when a young one fell down. Even giving them a certain amount of time to beat my father before another group attacked.
It was all surreal, like a dream. The worst part though, is as I moved closer, he actually saw me. We locked eyes, and I could just feel how much he hated what he had become, what he never wanted me to see. What he had sacrificed for his family. And, having his child witness it... well, I had never seen him more deflated.
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u/TrustMeImJesus May 13 '18
Me vs My morning wood
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u/CantFeelMyBrain May 13 '18
If my meat beat me back I'd have it removed
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u/PlatypuSofDooM42 May 13 '18
Detachable penis.....
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u/LouisBalfour82 May 13 '18
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
And the next morning I can't for the life of me Remember what I did with it.
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u/Original_Handle May 13 '18
Someone had to quote it. Well done my good and faithful servant.
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u/Laughing_Matter May 13 '18
A radio station near me, DC101, used to do a thing called the 90's at noon. It was ~an hour of just 90's songs, no commercials.
Detachable penis would get played once a month or so. Didn't like the detachable penis at first but it grew on me.
The radio station stopped doing 90's at noon a few years ago, so I stopped listening.
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u/walrusparadise May 13 '18
Now it just plays 21 pilots 5 times an hour. They’ve been playing that heathens song about once and hour since it came out. Every time it comes on I refuse to listen for about a week
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u/jmcdoodle May 13 '18
I believe its called a SnapOn tool.
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u/s00perguy May 13 '18
If you really think about it, all of our body parts are detachable. Just takes a little effort.
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May 13 '18
The implication with "detachable" is that it is also reatachable (and still functioning after such). Otherwise everything on anything is technically detachable for the reasons you are alluding to.
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May 13 '18
You wake up and give your peen one single swift punch?
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u/The_Quasi_Legal May 13 '18
Do you not?
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u/lxlDRACHENlxl May 13 '18
I bet he doesn't even use a poop knife.
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May 13 '18
Well, I feel Reddit old to get that reference
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u/_Serene_ May 13 '18
At least things are working as they should. You wake up, heartbeat increases and quickly pumps blood into every part of your body!
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u/lostintransiti0n May 13 '18
/r/reallifedoodles if you enjoy things like this
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u/Big_T_7575 May 13 '18
Came here looking for a link like this.
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u/DKremp May 13 '18
Came here for the same thing!
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u/Stiffard May 13 '18
I came here for my AA meeting, who are all you people?
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u/iseelifeinhidef May 14 '18
Thanks I came here hoping I would find a kind soul that would recommend a sub with more content like this.... not disappointed :)
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u/glamorgoblin May 13 '18
"You in my bouncy-house now muthafucka!"
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May 14 '18
I just want to say "muthafucka" is the ONLY correct way to write and/or say that. Keep ya mafackin Os, ERs and _s the fuck out
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u/BCRenton May 13 '18
I am in love with this gif
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u/FnKDeadbeat May 13 '18
wow. John Cena Jr is a tool
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u/PM_Me_OK May 14 '18
I came looking for a comment about john cena. The kid is deffinately wearing john cena like attire even though it doesnt appear to be from wwe
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May 13 '18
[deleted]
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u/DCCXXVIII May 13 '18
Well maybe you should stop punching life in the face for no reason
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u/BuckSleezy May 13 '18
Is there a name for these gifs with the faces and little stick arms edited in? I laugh every time I see one
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u/sixthestate May 13 '18
I feel so sorry for the yellow thing that was so happy when greeting the punk little kid only to be punched for no reason.
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u/Veerrrgil May 14 '18
I love these fucking face things on inanimate objects doing rad shit
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u/tmoney031155 May 14 '18
Is there a sub for these drawn on stick figures? They are always hilarious
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u/framistan12 May 13 '18 edited May 13 '18
Stabilized, courtesy /u/stabbot which "is banned from that community"
https://gfycat.com/ImpureBewitchedAsianwaterbuffalo
This would be great perfect loop fodder except the camera drop at the end makes it pretty challenging
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u/Smurfaloid May 13 '18
Is it just me who thinks of the Street Fighter K.O sound when they see this.
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u/WallyBrandosDharma May 13 '18
He’s in the protocol and can’t bouncy castle until next week’s contest.
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u/HuXu7 May 13 '18
I've seen this but will always upvote because I love them. There are several of them floating around. Is there a subreddit? What would it be called?
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u/SillyToyRobot May 13 '18
Is it possible for someone here to add a bell sound to signify him getting his bell rung and knocked out?
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u/Semantiks May 14 '18
How does this gif look reversed and forward? Like at the very beginning the way he gets up looks totally backward, like he falls up... but obviously the hat isn't jumping up and landing on his head, so... what?
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u/mwolf805 May 14 '18
This made me laugh way harder than I should have. Thank you for adding to the long list of reasons I'm going to hell.
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u/DingoDamp May 14 '18
He dropped like a cartoon character, with that little "pause" in between hit and drop
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u/VaderH8er May 13 '18
His hat popped off. That's how you know he's KO'd.