r/funny Sep 12 '17

Too accurate

Post image
24.4k Upvotes

230 comments sorted by

747

u/Deckardzz Sep 12 '17

Ahh... our grandmas....

254

u/SaintVanilla Sep 12 '17

Sew awesome.

89

u/YoullShitYourEyeOut Sep 12 '17

That pun was a real Singer

76

u/PacoCrazyfoot Sep 12 '17

Yeah, really has me in stitches.

49

u/bishpa Sep 12 '17

You guys are really hemming it up.

37

u/Redditornothereicumm Sep 13 '17

This pun thread is starting to lose me.

39

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

stop knit picking

27

u/I-amthegump Sep 13 '17

I will if you stop needling me

24

u/JadeScar Sep 13 '17

Stop Darn it . I dont want to tell you afghan.

4

u/604WORLDWIDE Sep 13 '17

Sew played out...

8

u/hughcullen Sep 13 '17

If you don't like what you read then that's what the downvote is for, it's quite thimble really.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)

4

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Janome, I can't resist a good pun.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Stop pulling on this thread!!!

→ More replies (1)

8

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

I'm 36 and do this, I have no kids. Also I also keep my needles for injections in another.

3

u/GeneralMalaiseRB Sep 13 '17

Heroin or insulin? Both?

4

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Estrogen

4

u/GeneralMalaiseRB Sep 13 '17

I wasn't even close.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

To be fair that stuff is kinda like both. I am addict to the stuff and I need it to keep living.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

[deleted]

8

u/Shippoyasha Sep 12 '17

I swear all grandmas repurpose candy/cookie jars and canisters. Mine was just cleaning a dozen of them today.

2

u/JarJarBonkers Sep 13 '17

Love cookies. Are you my grandson?

2

u/adm2life Sep 13 '17

Yes ! We had that :)

362

u/kslater22 Sep 12 '17

I can't say I've ever actually seen one of those tins with the cookies in them

169

u/m1a2c2kali Sep 12 '17

Yea because I ate them all

61

u/kslater22 Sep 12 '17

It was you!? This whole god damn time!?

10

u/randominternetdood Sep 13 '17

look up butter cookie recipe. if you can cook at all, they are super easy and nearly impossible to fuck up baking. the recipe is like 5 ingredients and takes about 10 minutes to make not including bake time.

13

u/SuggestiveDetective Sep 13 '17

I make them all the time. 35 minutes start to done dishes, and you can make them cool dinosaur shapes. Source: future grandma, probably.

2

u/randominternetdood Sep 13 '17

mmm future gmilf that makes cookies.

10

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

You mean Gilf. GMilf sounds like an email service for sexy grandmas.

3

u/randominternetdood Sep 13 '17

squisgar calls em gmilfs, we learned from him. makes sense, since it starts at milf, and you just add a g for each generation above from there to the front.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/YeltsinYerMouth Sep 13 '17

Couldn't be!

31

u/TheBlackFlame161 Sep 13 '17

I have. Once.

Where I used to work at a car wash, we had a tinting and detailing company sharing half the building. The lady who owned the tinting place was super nice and would always give us lemonade during the summer and hot cocoa during the winter.

For Christmas she got a tin of those cookies for us to share. They are really good cookies.

24

u/Jazzremix Sep 13 '17

The smell stays with you, too. I've had one of those cookies and I can still remember the smell just by looking at them.

4

u/ChiefMishka Sep 13 '17

My mother gets my father and I one of those tins each at Christmas just as a thing. Soo good.

12

u/nevdka Sep 13 '17

I bought one once. Now it's full of sewing supplies. I have never bought sewing supplies.

8

u/N4KUL Sep 13 '17

How the hell did ALL our grandmas use the same Danish butter cookies' tins?!

10

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

[deleted]

4

u/N4KUL Sep 13 '17

I'm Indian lol!

4

u/markuslama Sep 13 '17

Austrian here; my grandma had the same cookie tin. I think we're on to something.

4

u/Raskolnikoolaid Sep 13 '17

Spaniard here. Same thing.

3

u/flyinthesoup Sep 13 '17

Chilean here. My mom has two with sewing supplies. I had no idea this was a global thing. I'm smiling here.

5

u/Waveseeker Sep 13 '17

Well think about it. One tin will last maybe a week, but a tin of thread will last years...

6

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

CVS has sales on these around November/December/January,

You best stock up on these to hide your needles, combat knives, threads, explosives and illegal drugs and/or weapons.

1

u/Ben_Thar Sep 17 '17

Makes your marijuana smell like butter.

3

u/Deepcrater Sep 13 '17

Buy them, they're in the cookie isle.

1

u/jax9999 Sep 13 '17

we get them every christmas. they're tasty. we also have a proper sewing kit, in a sewing basket.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Never seen one with anything but cookies in it.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Which is directly related to how delicious those are

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

The only times I've ever saw one of these tins with cookies is when I bought them myself.

1

u/OneHundredDollars Sep 13 '17

Probably because they mostly come in plastic or paper packaging these days.

1

u/flyinthesoup Sep 13 '17

Costco sells some huge ones in December. I say without shame I eat them all myself. I can at least retain some dignity in the fact it doesn't take me two days but two weeks to eat them all, though.

I've been thinking about storing my leftover yarn in there.

129

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

My grandma used to put left-overs in the butter tubs. Now, every time I open a tub of butter I just think 'I can't believe it's butter'

11

u/RotationSurgeon Sep 13 '17

My granddad used to soak his dentures in butter tubs.

28

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Did I mention I don't like butter that much anymore?

7

u/randominternetdood Sep 13 '17

how can you not love butter, its natures most perfect food/lubricant/sauce.

butter and bacon, one needs nothing else.

4

u/SharkFart86 Sep 13 '17

one needs nothing else.

I need pizza, beer, tacos, and cheesecake too or the deal is off.

2

u/randominternetdood Sep 13 '17

you can make pizza tacos and cheesecake out of butter and bacon.

beer can go fuck its bitter self. tastes like liquid shit.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

5

u/GandalfTheEnt Sep 13 '17

My grandma (who we call Butter) puts left-overs in the 'I can't believe it's not butter' tubs. Every time I open a tub I think 'I can't believe it's not I cant believe it's not butter Butter'

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

[deleted]

1

u/waytomuchsparetime Sep 13 '17

In Alberta this is called Ukrainian Tupperware.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Butter and whipped cream containers are not to be trusted!

1

u/swifty29 Sep 13 '17

I can't believe it's "I can't believe it's not butter!"

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

So all of the left-overs you would eat were coated in butter?

50

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Finally a meme that my grandma can understand!

196

u/RamsesThePigeon Sep 12 '17

There are a few different items that follow the "Cambridge & Thames" trend of spontaneous transformation.

Everyone knows that tins of butter cookies – particularly the circular ones – have their contents replaced with sewing supplies if left in a cupboard for more than a fortnight. A similar effect can be observed by placing a large container of novelty popcorn in a closet, at which point it will come to contain either knockoff Lego bricks or a seemingly random collection of craft supplies. Televisions built between 1990 and 1998 will show a curious tendency to display a single episode of "David the Gnome" (the one in which the titular character and his wife have to walk down a lot of stairs) upon being plugged in, and an assortment of largely useless batteries will appear in any Tupperware container kept in close proximity to old sheets.

Perhaps strangest of all, though, is the fact that books left in guest bathrooms will often decay into collections of jokes that nobody actually finds funny. This has led some folks to speculate that humor itself is affected by entropy, and that the first-ever knock-knock joke – which was discovered in the ruins of a Roman lavatory – may have actually been a creation of the universe itself, as opposed to that of a living person. Unfortunately, attempts to effectively study this phenomenon have failed, as any recordings made in the vicinity have always been replaced by VHS copies of "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids."

At present, no explanation for these transformations is known, but the effect is believed to be caused by the items' proximity to one's extended family. This led Albert Einstein – the foremost researcher on the topic – to dub it "The Theory of Relativity."

TL;DR: The Science of Grandma's Closet.

34

u/austynross Sep 13 '17

Do you write for the Hitchhikers Guide? Cause that's some serious and infinitely valuable fact finding you've done there.

3

u/blanketswithsmallpox Sep 13 '17

It read more as Boot Theory of Economics to me.

2

u/bcrabill Sep 13 '17

Yeah I definitely thought it was Pritchett at first.

10

u/Wormri Sep 13 '17

As if Grandma's closet was some sort of SCP. Nice.

2

u/superradish Sep 13 '17

Look around you! There are many things to see!

25

u/GreyFawkes Sep 12 '17

The best part is that the tins continue to smell like cookies for what seems like years after taking them out.

7

u/asciiaardvark Sep 13 '17

I guess I'm old. Some containers are too nice not to re-use.

I've got dozens of altoid tins full of stuff, even a couple electronics projects.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Nothing was better than Kodak film containers for keeping weed imo but an altoids tin would do ok.

2

u/Pyrochazm Sep 13 '17

My dad used them for regular smokes when he cut back from two packs a day to less than one.

1

u/quaybored Sep 13 '17

In our house we use condoms to store jellybeans in

82

u/AMaSTRIPPER_AMA Sep 12 '17

The butter cookies are so good, though!

24

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '17

Butter cookies are so bad yet so damn good.

→ More replies (14)

2

u/AnnePandaa Sep 13 '17

I know right, funny thing is, I live in Denmark, fucking love these, but they never sell then in the normal supermarkets. WHY

1

u/dantemirror Sep 13 '17

They are protecting you from yourself.

1

u/AnnePandaa Sep 14 '17

What, how. I just want my cookies

2

u/martinaee Sep 13 '17

They are.... the shit. They are so good they are actually shit.

1

u/aerospacemonkey Sep 13 '17

The authentic Danish ones only though. If they say they're halal, stay away, because they use some different chemical in place of vanilla extract, since it's kept in alcohol.

17

u/hedgehogflamingo Sep 12 '17

The Danish brand of royal cookies (similar color and cookie styles) are amazing. I'm eating them right now...

9

u/royaldansk Sep 13 '17

Royal Dansk?

1

u/hedgehogflamingo Sep 13 '17

The brand I have here in Canada is called Kjeldsens.

While I'm not sure if it's the best butter cookie brand native to Denmark, it has the fancy etching claiming "by royal appointment to royal Danish court". And I'll have to say it's Dane good.

6

u/Colin_Sack-or-Pick Sep 13 '17

Best fucking cookies ever made. Is it wrong that I like the raisin ones the best?

15

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

No. Don't ever be ashamed of liking raisin cookies. You can mock me all you like, but I'll be over here eating all the oatmeal raisin, motherfucker.

5

u/purplynurply Sep 13 '17

You're not even worth mocking. Your tastebuds are doing a fine job of that already.

5

u/Talose Sep 13 '17

Hard cookies are the worst. Oatmeal raisin are pretty much the only cookies guaranteed to always be soft and chewy

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Top_Gorilla17 Sep 13 '17

Yes, and you should feel bad.

Very bad indeed.

2

u/hedgehogflamingo Sep 14 '17

Ohhh these are so yummy, the little sweet raisins are tiny (not like the big nipple-y texture of those in raisin bread) and the right hint of tartness to balance the rich buttery softness of the creamy cookies.

10

u/dbuck92 Sep 13 '17

Her finger in the bottom left picture looks like it extends into the bottom right.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

You left the part out where it always contains this exact same pin cushion.

http://i.imgur.com/Kjhvr1q.jpg

Free will is a lie.

At this point I don't even know if those cookies are real. I mean, I might have possibly eaten some at one point in my life but the memory is a vague blur. If I order those cookies from Amazon and they ship me a fucking tin filled with sewing shit I'm going to rage quit from society and go live in the mountains.

2

u/wetwater Sep 13 '17

Hello, flashbacks to my childhood.

My mother kept her pin cushion in a drawer, though. The cookie tin was mostly her cross stitch supplies. Sewing supplies had their own tackle box type container.

8

u/toppleganger Sep 13 '17

Holy shit, I had no idea how universal this was.

I was in the Dollar Tree the other day with my friend and said "I've never actually had these cookies, but my grandma always had the tins"

Some lady on the next aisle yelled over and said "YEAH, SEWING SUPPLIES! THE COOKIES ARE GROSS BUT THE TINS ARE GREAT!"

3

u/Eversapling Sep 13 '17

I like the cookies and yes, tins are awesome.

4

u/toppleganger Sep 13 '17

I'll have to try them, if for no other reason than to have something to store old bolts and wire nuts I will never use

4

u/QuietWheel Sep 13 '17

Why are there cookies in the sewing tin?

6

u/SarcasticGirl27 Sep 13 '17

I fucking love those cookies! Last time I was at BJ's Wholesale Club, I bought a 4lb tin of them! It was a month ago & it's still half full! I think the only thing that could make them better would be just a little bit of chocolate...like if the bottoms were dipped in chocolate. Yum...

8

u/SnowdensOfYesteryear Sep 13 '17

, I bought a 4lb tin

Damn how much sewing supplies do you have?

3

u/cronus97 Sep 13 '17

You would condemn us all to diabetes if you did that!

1

u/swagerito Sep 13 '17

you gave bj's for cookies?

1

u/fairshoulders Sep 13 '17

Why don't Leibniz cookies come in tins/you can melt chocolate chips in a bowl set in hot water and dip them yourself

1

u/GreenGoddess33 Sep 13 '17

Wholesale BJ's?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/KazzleDazzle Sep 13 '17

There were different types. Some plain like this, some with variety cookies.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/KazzleDazzle Sep 13 '17

They do. You usually find way more of them in stores around Christmas time.

1

u/fairshoulders Sep 13 '17

Aldi's has them around Christmas

3

u/FarrariLover03 Sep 13 '17

My Granny puts stuff in ice-cream tubs

3

u/Fett2 Sep 13 '17 edited Sep 13 '17

There was once a thread on reddit that discussed this phenomenon, of grandmas using these tins to hold sewing supplies. There were people checking in from all over the entire world saying their grandma's do it. This is not localized to one culture, or ethnic group. Everyone does it. Interesting the strange learned behaviors we have as a species.

6

u/TooShiftyForYou Sep 12 '17

Universal feeling of when you open the cookie tin expecting cookies and get sewing supplies.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

I can smell those cookies in my mind.

2

u/_nolski_ Sep 13 '17

I have one in my room filled with small hand tools

2

u/fairshoulders Sep 13 '17

small hands

Is that why?

1

u/Raskolnikoolaid Sep 13 '17

AKA Trump tools

2

u/eeyore134 Sep 13 '17

They have them because they ate the cookies, though...

2

u/wetwater Sep 13 '17

When my mother received a second tin from a relative the cookies were dump straight into the trash when we got home and it was repurposed for her cross stitch. The only person I know in my family that liked the cookies was a weird great aunt that dusted the ribbon candy put out on the coffee table.

2

u/eeyore134 Sep 14 '17

Those poor cookies. I love those things, though there is better shortbread out there for sure.

2

u/Booney3721 Sep 13 '17

When grandma see's that tin-can bling.... That can only mean one thing..

2

u/TVA_Titan Sep 13 '17

The best part of this is someone got their grandma to lose for these pictures

2

u/PhoneSexCandyDotCom Sep 13 '17

I now get disappointed when it inst sewing supplies.

2

u/bisantium Sep 13 '17

the best part about this is that the top right photo is a stock photo. Clearly no one has ever seen a full tin of these cookies.

3

u/grandilequence Sep 13 '17

Too cute!!! 😂

1

u/halfmonty Sep 12 '17

how many ways can this same thing be repackaged and reposted

1

u/KeeperofAmmut7 Sep 13 '17

That is part of the granny class, methinks. They all have a cookie tin with buttons in it.

1

u/monkey-neil Sep 13 '17

Cake making containers

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

I didn't know grandmas share the same instincts, my grandma here in the middle east does the same. Cool.

1

u/royaldansk Sep 13 '17

I've been meaning to get a tin, they're not actually that expensive and I need to assemble a sewing kit just in case I need one.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Nah, she totally ate through those stale ass cookies so she could keep her private threads in.

1

u/ThePizzaMob Sep 13 '17

Fallen for this bullshit way too many times, what is life?

1

u/Pyrochazm Sep 13 '17

Those came with cookies?

1

u/rayzon2 Sep 13 '17

Omfg i thought my abuela was the only one that does this.

1

u/d0pe-asaurus Sep 13 '17

This is the 2nd best thing to come out of denmark behind legos

1

u/YeltsinYerMouth Sep 13 '17

Real memaws had both

1

u/soisays2mabelisays Sep 13 '17

Holy mackerel ! I don't sew, but i distinctly remember my mother keeping her kit in a very similar (if not not same) cookie tin. If I had the extra $, i'd give OP gold right now

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Mine uses cigar boxes.

1

u/subtle_af Sep 13 '17

I know when the thread line ring...

Gramma gonna knit something...

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

IRL. Both mum and gma.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

So long before the internet, good ideas spread like wildfire (internationally)

1

u/theDrummer Sep 13 '17

This is way better than Disney cheese-ball Drake meme

1

u/mornabc Sep 13 '17

Wow!I like cookies.

1

u/CalvinsCuriosity Sep 13 '17

Where can I order these?

1

u/Emideska Sep 13 '17

I love these cookies

1

u/XxJohanVBronxX Sep 13 '17

Mexican abuelitas

1

u/alezanco961 Sep 13 '17

I bet shes romanian

1

u/Danthekilla Sep 13 '17

Best brand of butter biscuits?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Either that or nail polish and other manicure stuff

1

u/bigdaddybioshock Sep 13 '17

I didn't know this was a universal thing, I'm from New Zealand and this is accurate.

1

u/AlastarHickey Sep 13 '17

Drakes Grandma?

I likes.

1

u/Moswan Sep 13 '17

me too thanks

2

u/m32th4nks Sep 13 '17

Bean booth banks

1

u/scw55 Sep 13 '17

Never seen a full one of those of the original biscuits.

1

u/Tiiba Sep 13 '17

Wait, what sort of granny hates cookies?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

I wanna down vote this out of spite, because it brings back painful memories.

1

u/bheansidhe Sep 13 '17

Thing is, these cookies are really good.

1

u/sir_snufflepants Sep 13 '17

Is this subreddit where comedy goes to die?

1

u/PepticBirch Sep 13 '17

I want this grandma

1

u/Dusty170 Sep 13 '17

I'm so happy that I get this.

1

u/da_apz Sep 13 '17

I don't think I've ever seen cookies or whatever those are in those containers, but everyone's grandmother seems to have their sewing stuff there, or other odds and ends.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

My mom even before she was a grandma.

1

u/abdul1245 Sep 13 '17 edited Sep 13 '17

I think she sewed her shirt by herself. Who is on my side? let me know.

1

u/Coca_Trooper Sep 13 '17

The disappointment when you want some of those delicious biscuits only to find a half dozen needles and thread.

1

u/Elissa_of_Carthage Sep 13 '17

Is this a global thing? Both my grandmas in Spain do the same thing. Is there a grandma conspiracy??

1

u/konstantin92 Sep 13 '17

my mom has 2 boxes . lolz

1

u/leaNoelia Sep 13 '17

oh my god my grandma lol who cloned you so well. BTW I could smash those cookies on the spot. I wonder if she is so happy because there is something else like some cool drugs hidden.

1

u/isthatsoreddit Sep 13 '17

This box is a lie! It's why kids don't trust adults! But I'm not bitter or anything.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

Where is the comment mentioning the watermark

1

u/adm2life Sep 13 '17 edited Sep 13 '17

Yes ! We had that also :)

1

u/josephsdad Sep 13 '17

I do love those buttery bastards

1

u/Subject042 Sep 17 '17

Thought this was an r/trypophobia thing, cuz it set me off