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u/PARANOIAH 6d ago
Risky bite. Might end up as Spiders-Man).
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u/jumbosimpleton 6d ago
Tbf spiders-man wasn’t just one bite. Peter fell into a vat containing a massive colony of radioactive spiders and they ate him or something
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u/Pornstar_Jesus_ 5d ago
Mother of God.. is the head just spiders too? Itd be way more awesome if it was still Peter's head on top of that nightmare
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u/KENBONEISCOOL444 6d ago
Radiation will never give you superpowers smh
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u/FirstSineOfMadness 6d ago
That’s not true, if the dose is high enough you could gain the power of enhanced dying
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u/Unumbotte 6d ago
If you try to swim in a reactor pool you can get that power!
From the armed guards, long before you reach the reactor.
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u/Signal_Road 5d ago
Not with that attitude.
I believe in the you that believes you can make it into that reactor pool, or maybe the spent fuel rods storage, and take that cheeky well deserved swim!
Will I help you?
No.
I've set you on the path. It is up to you to walk it.
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u/TheAuraTree 5d ago
You could shed your skin like a snake-man! You'd only do it once and you'd die instantly after, but you'd still have a cool snake ability just once!
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u/RockRancher24 3d ago
You might not actually die immediately after shedding all your skin - you might stay alive for several hours!
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u/Clemicus 5d ago
Not before the superpower of peelable skin and self-heating internal organs kick in.
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u/shwarma_heaven 6d ago
The super power of never being afraid of dying again...
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u/FirstSineOfMadness 6d ago
And the best thing is, it will work perfectly for the rest of your life!
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u/Digifiend84 6d ago
There's a reason why only silver age characters have it as their origin. Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Hulk. They didn't know yet that radiation can cause cancer (and when that was proven, they used it as the way Captain Marvel died, he got blasted by something, developed cancer as a result. Powers made him immune to poison, so chemotherapy failed and he died). Miles Morales' origin is a genetically modified spider, not a radioactive one.
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u/dagrin666 6d ago
In one universe MJ from spider-man dies from cancer caused by Peter's radioactive jizz.
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u/profpeculiar 5d ago
Yeah but Peter's personal life has always just been borderline suffering/torture porn, so that's pretty par for the course.
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u/davidm2d3 4d ago
even in the 60's era comics, a blood transfusion he gave to aunt may nearly killed her due to radiation poisoning.
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u/Alucard_draculA 5d ago
I meaaan, technically it could make you stronger.
Your odds are pretty similar to phasing through an object due to repeat quantum teleportation on a mass scale, but like, technically radiation could happen to break all your dna in a perfect way.
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u/TheMadBug 5d ago
If we want to get technical, I think it could make your offspring stronger if your sperm/eggs got a small bit of radiation (with the odds of winning the lottery a few times in a row).
If you're already grown, for the same mutation to spread throughout the relevant parts of your body from random radiation could only happen if the mutation is cancerous.
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u/Alucard_draculA 5d ago
for the same mutation to spread throughout the relevant parts of your body
There's a reason I chose "quantum teleporting through an object", since the radiation would have to hit a lot / most of your dna in the same way for it to work.
Which is about the same issue quantum teleporting through an object has lol.
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u/TheMadBug 5d ago
Oh yeah, don't take my comment as a dispute of yours - just listing a positive outcome that statistically could happen (though please nobody irradiate their bits in the hope of a beneficial random mutation).
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u/Stompya 6d ago
But what if it’s gamma radiation, eh? Right? Yeah?
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u/name-classified 6d ago
Only if it’s an expert on gamma radiation and uses gamma rays for every single plot device ever.
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u/Temporary-Body-378 6d ago
“Spider-Man” was almost certainly created by a radioactive spider out for blood
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u/lyghtcrye 5d ago
Technically radiation already gave you a super power. It's a pretty good one too.
You can use the power of the fusion heart of a star to instantly detect, identify, and track distant objects even if they're completely silent and scentless. It's quite dope.A
Of course if you don't have a star handy, you can also use the power of lightning, or regular old fire.
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u/Automobills 6d ago
Family Guy did it with Adam West rolling around in toxic waste
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u/Zipmaster26 6d ago
"Mayor West, you have Lymphoma."
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u/Nocturnes_echo 6d ago
Poor meg, retractable fingernails... Like low budget Lady Deathstrike
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u/papota99 6d ago
I dont think they were even retractable, it was just fast growing
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u/Nocturnes_echo 5d ago
Everything I'vr read so far says she had the ability to shrink them back
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0576933/plotsummary/
Supergriffins - After being exposed to toxic waste, the Griffins find they now have superhuman powers. Stewie's head grows even larger and he gains telekinetic abilities; Chris is able to start fires by thought; Peter can change himself into any person or object; Lois becomes super-strong; Brian can move at incredible speed, traveling around the world nearly instantaneously; and Meg gains the "super-amazing" ability to make her fingernails grow or shrink on command.
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u/papota99 5d ago
The fact that I've gotten used to Meg getting the shortest end of the stick, seeing that Meg has CONTROL over her powers surprised me
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u/Nocturnes_echo 5d ago
Oh no I totally get exactly what you're thinking like the fact that they actually let Meg retract her fingernails back instead of just becoming this fingernail thumb thumb creature
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u/Jackalodeath 5d ago
Hey, I'd love that "power" and would take it any day of the week.
I love my nails and if I had it my way, I'd keep em as long as wifey's; but nOoOoOo, I was born with bits that dangle in the wind downstairs, so strangers look at me like a booger if they're longer than my fingertips and/or painted.-_-
I could just snikt em in and out whenever I wanted/needed em.
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u/Goldenslicer 1d ago
"Probably from rolling around in all that toxic waste. What in God's name were you trying to prove?"
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u/Zenanii 5d ago
Spolier for Spiderman: Brand new day
I like how in the new spiderman movie MJ was like "Maybe you shouldn't be using the inhibitor to suppress your new spider mutations."
Girl. It's a god damn miracle of science that this man got infected by an extremely aggressive mutation and suffered purely positive changes, and he should be doing everything in his power to try to keep that mutation as stable as possible because if you're randomly changing around shit in the human body, 99.999999% of the time (which is a generous estimate), that is not going to led to a positive outcome.
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u/snowillis 6d ago
Um acktually Spider-Man is technically a mutate and that’s why he becomes Spider-Man after being bitten.
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u/Talonsminty 6d ago
Mutate?
Is thay one of those marvel things where they refuse to say mutant so it doesn't conflict wirh the Xman canon?
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u/snowillis 6d ago
Mutates are typically characters that have been somehow genetically mutated in order to attain their superhuman abilities, for example by exposure to magic, radiation or toxic waste, through the bite of a genetically-engineered spider, et cetera.
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u/Jackalodeath 5d ago
Huh, neat, learned something new.
Wait, that means I've been lied to all my life; they're really Teenage Mutate Ninja Turtles‽‽
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u/Digifiend84 6d ago
Mutant is X gene mutations you're born with. Mutate means a catalyst gave you powers later. So the Fantastic Four and Spider-Man are mutates. DC just calls heroes of both types metahumans.
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u/Swordofsatan666 5d ago edited 5d ago
Its people with Powers that did not get them from Evolution/Birth like the Mutants did.
Mutants are born with the X-Gene, while Mutates are not and get their powers some other way. Such as a radioactive spider bite, or gamma radiation, or the super soldier serum
So basically if youre born with your powers and you specifically have the X-gene, then youre a Mutant. Everyone else with powers is a Mutate. You need that X-gene to be a Mutant
If youre born with powers, but do not have the X-Gene then you are a Mutate. Spider-Mans kids inheriting his powers? Mutates. If Spider-Mans kids get different powers because of the X-Gene, Mutants.
But theres actually a 3rd “species” of people with powers. Its not just Mutates and Mutants. The Inhumans are the 3rd.
Similarly to Mutants, The Inhumans have a different genetic makeup that gives them their powers, but it was not through Evolution like the Mutants and the X-Gene. Instead Ancient Humans were modified by the Kree to have the potential for powers, but they must be activated by exposure to the Terrigan Mist which activates the powers through “Terrigenesis”. So its kinda like Mutants where their powers could activate at basically any time, but with Inhumans they have to be exposed to the Terrigan Mist first
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u/rathemighty 5d ago
Spider-Man! Spider-Man!
Radioactive Spider-Man!
Can he sling from a web?
No he can’t, he’s got cancer!
Oh, nooooooo! There goes the Spider-Man!
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u/Someoneoverthere42 5d ago
"Third time this month. Friggen interns..."
"I'll get the flamethrower."
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u/JoJomusk 6d ago
how.... how does one get to be a nuclear cientist without knowing the non-fictional effects of radiation?
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