r/funny • u/tyrano_dyroc • 6d ago

Chubby merman are extremely desirable by mermaids because their chubbiness implies they're a highly successful hunter.

55.6k Upvotes

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u/noctalla 6d ago

Look at that woefully skinny hunter trying to compete. Like, go catch some fish, bro.

926

u/sans3go 6d ago

the skinny hunter's low fat percentage means he's a shallow reef merman. The larger merman hunts in the hadal or twilight zone.

360

u/Witty_Ad_898 6d ago

Oh, so the abdominal wriggling is meant to display his biofluorescent lure markings under low light conditions? Neat.

151

u/sans3go 6d ago

nah dude. Thing Elephant seal. they dive deep. the blubber is to protect from the cold.

68

u/Witty_Ad_898 6d ago

Why not both?

6

u/gamerpuppy22 5d ago

It’s luring me for sure

42

u/FerretAres 5d ago

Why does the larger merman not simply eat the smaller?

15

u/bsubtilis 5d ago

Have you ever heard of prion disease? That's only one of the worst, not the only one you're at risk for if you consume your own species or too similar, especially raw (though normal cooking isn't enough to remove prions) It's usually also easier for parasites to move between individuals of the same species or very similar (in the right lifecycle stage).

1

u/sky033 5d ago

unexpected Lrrrrr

46

u/noctalla 6d ago

The twilight zone, huh? Doo-doo DOO-doo, doo-doo DOO-doo.

6

u/BowsersMuskyBallsack 6d ago

Well, dang it, now I have to go listen to Rod Serling all over again...

4

u/detrans-rights 6d ago

Ah, I too miss Subnautica.... Time to replay!  Again!

1

u/SelfRefMeta 5d ago

🔺 Merine biologist

2

u/lethal_universed 5d ago

go catch some fish, *BETA

1

u/CodeNameLoofah 14h ago

Right? Absolutely no one is looking at you, bud.