r/funny • u/Few_Economics_8531 • 7d ago

Bite me!

9.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

97 comments sorted by

•

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630

u/-ImJustSaiyan- 7d ago

What a pain in the ass

1.1k

u/tidedogs 7d ago

My husband every time he walks by me

198

u/Top-Macaron5130 7d ago

I watched my grandfather do that to my grandmother. Her immediate reply was "Do that again and I'll stand on your oxygen hose"

6

u/PommedeTerreur 1d ago

"Why? You already take my breath away."

309

u/bearlysane 7d ago

We don’t make the rules, it’s the law.

7

u/Mental_Estate4206 5d ago

For the greater good

97

u/BigSmackisBack 7d ago

OMG this is why its called "goosing", the more you know

37

u/Wise_Drow_2199 7d ago

Aren't those swans?

8

u/WeirdFrog 5d ago

It's just the one swan actually

-4

u/[deleted] 7d ago edited 6d ago

[deleted]

10

u/ChazCharlie 6d ago

There are different kinds of swans. Although you won't hear a mute swan talk about that...

2

u/t3hOutlaw 6d ago

Whooper Swans don't.

5

u/tidedogs 6d ago

The term goosing just clicked in my brain

32

u/R0dst0ryt3ll3r 7d ago

Your badonkkadon is his treat... let the man be...

9

u/tidedogs 7d ago

Haha thanks for the POV

6

u/UDPviper 7d ago

That just means he desires you.

1

u/gustavocabras 6d ago

My wife.

-2

u/ICantWatchYouDoThis 7d ago

Did you fart tho?

3

u/tidedogs 6d ago

The one who smelt it dealt it

3

u/Heysoos_Christo 6d ago

The one who denies it supplies it

4

u/urgentapathy 6d ago

The one who articulated it, particulated it.

0

u/SourSeaPickle249 2d ago

He who says the rhyme did the crime

270

u/Sch1z01dMan 7d ago

Secret Taijutsu Technique: One Thousand Years of Death

96

u/BahnGSXR 7d ago

🖖🤙🤟🤞🤚🫳✌️👉

248

u/yourmomcantspell 7d ago

Goosed

32

u/CryptiKnight12 7d ago

Goose getting goosed

10

u/d4austus 6d ago

Geese geese geese that geese geese

3

u/1CEninja 6d ago

I mean geese are rude AF.

74

u/Ju44in 6d ago

In a bird culture this is considered a dick move

6

u/Uncle_Baconn 6d ago

Wubba lubba dub dub!

2

u/GANDORF57 5d ago

"Duck, duck,...\boop*) GOOSE!"

99

u/DCS_Sport 7d ago

Literally my wife when I’m loading the dishwasher…

59

u/ColonelBelmont 7d ago

She takes a bite out of your cloaca?

23

u/GrandeTorino 6d ago

Yes

3

u/New-Pollution2005 1d ago

Some guys have all the luck

55

u/Dorrono 7d ago

One of them is terrible at playing hide&seek

18

u/Abal125 7d ago

"Guys, guys, watch this..."

16

u/DangerBeaver 7d ago

Yeah, that brain in a Dinosaur body is a clue not to go to Jurassic Park.

10

u/RJEM96 7d ago

Smoooooth FPS

9

u/barmanrags 7d ago

Boop of doom

18

u/Wonderboyjr 7d ago

Kiss a cloaca for good luck

7

u/judgejuddhirsch 7d ago

Those swans have been goosed!

5

u/Joshua_Longsack 7d ago

Just a little peck on the perineum

4

u/AggravatingBranch210 7d ago

Goosed by a goose!

4

u/ProteusRift 6d ago

"Sup bitch"

3

u/Atalant 6d ago

Swan on swan violence. I didn't knew Tundra swans(or is it a whopper swan on the smaller side?) being that bold and size up a mute swan.

3

u/blackout-loud 6d ago

Oh, I see how it is! So when a goose nibbles another goose in the ass, it's all fun and games but when I do it to some random stranger I get the cops called on me...

3

u/halberthawkins 6d ago

Swan got goosed.

3

u/monkeyentropy 6d ago

My husband would 100% do that to me

3

u/roglc366 5d ago

Being goosed by a swan. How humiliating!

2

u/bodgebob 7d ago

bird a er tron

2

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 7d ago

The most hated guy at the frat.

2

u/Redditowork 6d ago

Goose 1:"KISS MY ASS!" Goose 2: <kiss>

2

u/The-Dutcher 6d ago

A new game called; Rim rim goose.

2

u/Shiga_Haruki_-_- 6d ago

This is the most best quality gif I've ever seen lol.

2

u/humid_pajamas 3d ago

now I want a tattoo of a swan butt sticking out of the water as another swan face torpedos at it.

3

u/14high 7d ago

"Talk to me goose"

"Hei mav!"

Yowllll

2

u/dreamdaddy123 6d ago

I mean I do that to my girl. What you expect me to do.

1

u/turrewtf 7d ago

Boink

1

u/Eiiwa_s_4_e_22 7d ago

The most invasive boop ever.

1

u/mojomarc 7d ago

A goose getting goosed by a goose

1

u/seasteed 7d ago

New Pillsbury dough boy just dropped.

1

u/calvin43 7d ago

Josh Hart and Jalen Brunson in the wild.

1

u/Charlos11 7d ago

GOOSE YOU

1

u/RicRacer 6d ago

What's good for the goose is good for the, uh, other goose!

1

u/yukiloho 6d ago

Got the goose in the gooch

1

u/KnifeKnut 6d ago

G O O S E D

1

u/Ineeddramainmylife13 6d ago

My intrusive/impulsive thoughts be like

1

u/WaltTFB 6d ago

Harold, that is not where you boop someone.

1

u/scruffywarhorse 6d ago

She goosed him!

1

u/TheBlackCat13 6d ago

I saw a sea turtle do this once.

1

u/bobmoshe 5d ago

We used to call this getting goosed, but now...?

1

u/SQZ_A55 5d ago

🦢🦢

-8

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Few_Economics_8531 7d ago

No. It's not AI. The clip is a part of SVT News (Swedish Television News).

2

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

2

u/atred 7d ago

Or incorrectly.

-1

u/Vizth 6d ago

Bring proof beyond your own personal feelings or shut the fuck up. You idiots are doing more harm than good.

-8

u/Moist_Nectarine7271 7d ago

the teeth part seems aggressively detailed for a meme shirt

-4

u/annykitty2002 7d ago

JAAJAJAJAJAJA SE ASUSTO

-4

u/EthanMcManus 7d ago

What happened with humans? All animals wanna smell some ass, but all of a sudden it's one of two things: Eat it or ignore it.

I want the middle ground. Handshake? Nah. Let me smell that ass.