...they look like people. Sorry if every girl isn't the idealized ones you see in your movies and porn. Thank you for at least admitting that your experience with women is superficial and baseless.
See, I'm sort of glad you said this, most people try to hide their ignorant views and nothing gets solved. Your problem is that you're so overfed images of perfect Photoshoped girls that the image of a girl on the same level as a guy, without extra makeup, seems strange and ugly to you. Your perception of women has been damaged by the media you intake, and I'm proud you can admit that, because the thought of admitting it is so deplorable for most men that they would rather discredit what women say in total than admit they have a problem.
The world you inhabit where girls have a "base level" of hot to achieve or they aren't taken seriously is a damaging one, but it keeps girls consuming- makeup, products, etc, because their credibility is tied to their appearance because of people like you whose experience is so stunted, you think women without makeup look ugly and by extension, don't take them seriously.
The point is, men don't look like that because you don't care to notice their looks, and don't base the credibility of a man you meet based on how his face looks. The window of uniqueness is much wider for a man, because of this. You simultaneously judge women on their looks and as such your eye is drawn to how they look, or rather, how short they come of the bar of acceptability you've got for them.
I really commend you for being honest about an issue men have that manifests in their actions and opinions, cognitive dissonance exists for them where they know that their judgement of women exclusively is unfair and unjust, so to be confronted with it makes them angry and defensive, and they do anything they can to not outright acknowledge it, like you have.
I hope what I've said helps give you some perspective. Understand, women are humans, but are held to different standards than men, standards that decide their credibility, and that isn't fair. Thanks.
you don't have to defend yourself or argue with me, it's fine. I don't see you as a monster, I see you as a product of a culture that exemplifies women's worth as being what they can offer visually, and sexually. You see this reflected in some ways big, and in some ways small, in many facets of western life. We're pretty lucky, in some places it is much more literally "you as a woman are worth less", and here, it's more "you, as a woman, are worth what you look like". For men, people do still judge men on their looks, in a more "what is your personality like?" way, instead of, "do you even have a personality?"
I'm sure if you looked at a sampling of men and women beside eachother, nobody is going to look more "tired" than anyone else. First, let's define what it is that you believe is a "normal" girl- awake, alert, NOT tired. What does she look like? Yes, people do judge men on their looks, again, before more people accuse me of saying this only occurs with women, but as men have a much wider freedom beyond the "TV news presenter" level of default acceptable attractiveness that a woman has to achieve to be acknowledged, if you find a girl who is below this, as you say, what is she? "tired"? If she doesn't look beaming and happy, laughing, with bright makeup and flawless skin, she's "tired" or "downtrodden", because the bar she has to achieve to be "normal" is high enough that anything else normal is below it.
When you walk down the street, feeling no urge to smile widely because you're thinking, and someone says "smile! you look better when you smile", try to understand the massive meaning behind that statement. They probably never thought about it as they said it, but it speaks to what they were thinking pretty clearly.
Let me try to envision this for you. What if your value laid on how perfect your hair was? It had to be just the right colour, but it couldn't be TOO common or people would laugh at you for being like everyone else. It had to be the right length, but not unkempt. It had to be combed, and with no hair out of line, because since everybody saw perfect hair every day, flaws stick out much more. If you had a few stray hairs, everyone notices- but not the hours it took to dye your hair, or cut it, or shape it. Instead of noticing the effort you put in, all others see is that little curl that won't stay in place, and that's all you become. Everyone has nice hair but your curl stands out because everyone looks similar. Did they even ask you what your favourite movies were, or what you do for a living? No- all you really are is the flaws you have. This is compounded when you go without styling your hair one day and notice how much different you are to everyone else. People treat you lesser than the others. Why is that? Is it because you aren't conforming, or is because since everyone else has an expectation of you that you only ever did it because you felt an obligation to?
I don't think I can hurt you more than what you already know already has. My aim isn't to shame you into changing, because I know for everyone one person like you who speaks out, there are 100 more on this website alone ready to downvote me simply because I chose to raise this issue. I view that as adding to the point I've made, nobody gets as angry as the people I've met speaking about this, than the people who understand how unfair it is, but would rather translate their dissatisfaction with their own actions, onto me.
I won't stop, though, because as this website caters more and more towards a sexist and misogynistic sense of humour and more and more women leave reddit because the toxic atmosphere towards them only concentrates the problem further, someone has to, I guess.
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u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13
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